How do I get over her? I tried everything. The past 2 months I've been staying off her social media, reading books obsessively, going to concerts, trying to spend time with my only 2 friends and yet everything still fucking reminds me of her. How the fuck do I get over oneitis? I know I'll never be with her but thinking of how perfect she is makes me think that any love I find in the future will be a step down and it makes me feel so hopeless. Yet on the flip side, if I do get over here, does that mean that this feeling I had wasn't even real? I'm crazy over this girl and I feel like if I get over her then it'll feel like none of what I ever feel is real, if that makes any sense? I just want this girl to get the fuck out of my head but no matter how much I distract herself she always creeps back in. God I fucking hate myself for this.
How do I get over her? I tried everything. The past 2 months I've been staying off her social media...
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The feeling will go away, in time.
I'm tired of waiting though and it feels like it's getting worse everyday.
>2 months
It usually takes longer than that, user. One thing that I feel works well is focusing on projects. Hobbies are ways of spending time, but a project will develop with your time and effort, and it will make you feel proud as it grows.
>does that mean that this feeling I had wasn't even real?
Not at all. What you gotta understand is that each person we meet comes and goes. Dealing with the "going" part is difficult. Still, cherish what the person taught you, and be happy it happened.
You should spend time developing your own identity. Your partner should help you accomplish what you'd like to do, and you him or her. But it's not ideal that your partner or potential parter would 'be' all that you want to do.
That's fair. How can I do this? Truth be told I really don't know who the hell I am and I'm almost 23.
Not the guy you replied to, but you should probably do anything. Like, whatever you think might be cool, do it. Might sound scary, but it will help tons.
Skating? Do it. Learning an instrument? Do it? Traveling to another country? Do it. Drugs? Do it. Casual sex? Do it. Carpentry? Do it. Yoga? Do it. Stand-up comedy? Do it. DnD? Do it. Coding? Do it. Trading card games? Do it.
Getting out of your comfort zone is really the only way of knowing what you want out of life.
Don't hate yourself user most people feel like this. You only think she's perfect because you're still in love with her, over time you'll notice the flaws she has. There's no advice anyone can give you that will actually bring insight or change the situation. It's up to you to act and make the change yourself. The best thing you can do is meet new people, make new friends and talk to new women. I found it a lot easier to force myself to talk to new people especially women because I had the same mentality that my ex was perfect, as such I valued other women's opinions less making me more confident. You can get through it user
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don't end up like this guy who got hit with harassment charges.
I've seen what happens to guys who get attached to women irl and it's ugly, it's part of the matrix.
When you're in a power dymorphic relationship with women it's bad.
You are obsessed, you can't help it, think of it like a sickness or just a phenomenon. maybe you can't beat this, but you can always make it worse.
Spike from cowboy bebop an heroed over a bitch
Idk man, I was gonna make a whole wall of text about how your partner should be someone e you met doing what you were already doing anyways but fuck it.
Find out who you are.
Once you do, maybe someone will notice and want to be a part of it.
In the meantime don't obsess over someone you met because you were, "going out of your comfort zone"
27yr/old Boomer in a 4 year, mostly happy relationship speaking
this is a common problem in a 80/20 rule society, men are the romantic sex, women are vicious status seeking animals, you think she's great but really she just got lucky by birth, you must love yourself more than these hoes. idk how but it needs to happen.
I think the only way besides time and not exposing yourself to them (not even pictures) is to just replace them with another oneitis
Go get another girl. Preferably more than one. Problem solved.
I feel you OP. I have oneitis, going on 4 years. In that time, she came out as lesbian but I'm still fucked.
Start listening to rap music.
Be happy that it happened.
Rap is for fags.
Metal is for men.
you still haven't gotten over 1 girl, you ugly metal fag. try some rap, and it will probably solve your problem.
See, this is a perfect example of the wrong attitude to have.
It's just like getting a promotion at a job; first you put in the work (not talking about shit like, ' oh I bought her flowers and food) and then you get the recognition.
Ha, fucking baited. I listen to rap AND metal, and I'm interested is men and women. Point fucking proven
>No, I was only PRETENDING to be retarded
I'm not pretending. I am into men. Men into men = gay = fag. So I'm fag, I like rap, this rap is for fags. Retard
Find another girl and youre good
just find a new one, i know it's hard now to think she's the only one for you but just forget it
>How do I get over her?
Dude I do-
>2 months
user...
>How the fuck do I get over oneitis?
user...
>Yet on the flip side, if I do get over here, does that mean that this feeling I had wasn't even real?
Love and or infatuation is fucking weird and awful.
I just this year (like 4 months ago) forced myself to kill (we'll see how I feel later in life) every feeling I had towards my fiance who died 7 years ago. That's my entire "golden years" fucking gone and wasted wither her at the very start and the rest of them gone getting over her, getting my life back on track, and coming to terms with my life while balancing my alcoholism.
It's never fucking great and I don't really have any advice aside from that yes, you will can get over this girl and that you won't really like it nor will it be easy.