Jow Forums recipes

"If 1 is 1, then make this other thing 1. If it's not 1, then make this other thing not 1."
It's literally unusable in any program for any reason, and if there ever was a use for it, there are much better ways to code it. The notes are unnecessary, there's no return, the spacing is unneeded, etc.

you have a value x that is either true or false. you want to assign a value y to the same x value. the guy wrote

>if x if true, then y is true
>else, if x is false, then y is false.

he could have just wrote y = x

it's one of those things ppl who spent 15 minutes on code academy do because they think they're clever. To anyone who actually knows anything about programming, it's just really hard to look at

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This is fucking retarded.

Firstly, if you put all the minced turkey in the pot like that, all the water is going to run out of it and it's going to boil in its own juices and it's going to taste like shit.

Brown the (seasoned) mincemeat in small batches in a little oil; you want it to develop a brown crust - this adds to the flavour MASSIVELY and it also means you're not standing around waiting for all the water to boil off like you would have to do if you followed the original recipe. As it's cooking, keep hacking at it with your spatula to break it up into little chunks. When one batch is browned, remove it from the pot and put it on a plate at the side. Add another batch. Do this until all of it is done.

Lower the heat, cut your bacon up with scissors then add it to the pan until the fat renders - i.e. the fat runs out of it a little. Add a little oil, then add your veggies and cook until they're soft and the onions are a little golden coloured. Then add your seasoning and cook for a minute. THEN add the meat back in and continue the recipe from there. When you add the liquid be sure to scrape the bottom of the pot to loosen all the stuck on brown bits - these add to the flavour too.

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boil em mash em
stick em in a stew

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>steelseries
Carefull anons we got a bullyhunter over here.

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It's shit. I tried them, they don't stick together and fall apart

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Not a recipe, but I fucking love couscous and nobody here ever really mentions it. Super easy to make and tasty af. Great if you're bulking.

That is the cringiest recipe I have ever seen.

That looks fucking disgusting and I want it in my face immediately.

It's from, like, 2010. Dude had a whole series. It was a different time.

nothing Jow Forums about any of this shit

Any high calorie, high protein vegan meals? Cheers

you can also make some healthy pancakes with banana eggs and cinamon

>mfw Jow Forums has better cooking recipes than /ck/

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any vegan recipes thnx

Not mine but repost.

Anons mothers chicken:

First step is to make the frying batter. We want 1 cup flour, 1/2 cup corn starch, and 1 cup yellow cornmeal (flour because it crisps nicely, starch to prevent it from burning, and cornmeal for flavor and color) along with 1/3 cup salt, 1 1/2 tbsp black pepper, and 1 tsp baking powder. This is just a really good frying batter in general for anything from chicken to mahi mahi. Highly reccomend.

Then, we want 2 or 3 big chicken breasts (I once measured it out at 1.75 lb but YMMV). Cut it into half-palm size chunks. Mix in a bowl with about 10 g garlic, 10 g ginger, 10 1-in rosemary sprigs (but you can never have too much rosemary, really) (oh and use scissors to cut the rosemary into dandruff-sized flakes) and about 1 tbsp freshly-squeezed lemon juice (about 3/8 of a lemon. Feel free to increase if it's not smelling like lemon). After you stir this up with your hands, let it sit for 20 min. Then rub it generously in the frying batter, and fry it in olive oil at max heat for 3-5 min or until golden-brown crust develops. Avoid leaving the crust on the pan.

I might be mistaking a few steps, so feel free to adjust as necessary. If you don't have ginger, the zest of the utilized lemon can substitute.

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Not that guy but I appreciate you guys spoonfeeding us brainlets

That's just a waste of three perfectly good eggs

that is its purpose
no wonder you dropped

unrelated but the eric andre show is fucking fantastic. especially if you're on any drugs at all

No prob user. If you need a skill to learn , programming isn't a bad one

do americans really do this?

that's vegetables, meat, eggs, and cheese .
That looks like a ton of oil but it is still better than pasta.
esp if you're goin for gainz

How do you clean the brown shit off the hob? I'm worried about taking the ceramic off like I've done before.

get some 91% iso alcohol.
Basically all cleaning supplies are horseshit that do the exact same thing as iso , but worse.
you're paying for logos, marketing teams, etc.
iso on a paper towel, wipe. gone.

*snap*

>2 am
>not in bed getting ready to mow the next morning

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BOY

This is more of a dessert/snack. Banana "sushi" rolls
>Whole wheat wrap, peanut butter, shredded coconut, banana
>Spread PB on wrap
>Sprinkle coconut
>Place banana on wrap
>Wrap everything tight without breaking banana
>Slice into smaller pieces
>Cover with more PB and coconut if you want
>Refirgerate for a bit so wraps cool and harden

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Meal 1:
U get rice.....
Then u get chicken.....
Then u get random vegetables..
done
Meal 2:
U get rice......
Then u get fish.......
+ random vegetable......

Meal 3:
U get rice.........
U get beef.........
u get random vegetable........

I forgot u also get curry sauce for chicken (Freezable)

random fishsauce for fish (freezable)

onion and sourcream (raw) for beef
(have to add onion and sourcream after cause not freezable)

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>no eggs
>flour

disgusting

Replace the flour with gram flour and it may stick together properly. Also better for you.

>Disgusting meal
>Cringe cartoon
>Boasts of using a psp as mp3 player and playing skyrim

Dont post this ever again

Eat paella.
Whatever meats you want (or fish or just veggies)
3 whole peppers, whole onion, peas & mushrooms if you fancy.
I also like to add garlic.
With the rice, stock & passata it’s the perfect meal

These recipes are not Jow Forums, they're just fat.

This is just meatballs with extra steps.

500g pork mince
1 large courgette
~100g carrots
250g pasta
50g beef suet
100g self raising flour
1 litre chicken stock
black pepper, rosemary and sage

-peel the carrots and cut the carrots and courgette julienne
-mix the suet and flour together with a little water to make a dough, then separate into 8 dumplings
-brown the meat and courgettes in olive oil
-add chicken stock, along with pasta, dumplings and herbs / pepper
- leave to simmer until the pasta is cooked

I'm kinda new to cooking but it's v. nice and has a lot of calories and vegetals

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^ this pic used onions instead of courgette cause i didn't have any lel

so many bad recipes i hate you all

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Now watch as people get mad for posting a recipe that uses onions

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What's the most Jow Forums meal I could prepare with scallops?

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Recently I just said fuck it and eating 500g of chicken every day, oatmeal or protein pancakes and eggs in the morning and the chicken and salad spread out throughout the day, and also protein shakes.
I'm cutting and I am tired of the slow progression, I'll do it properly after going-to-the-beach season is over.

that's fucking gross
I want it.

pan sear them and eat them. maybe wrap in bacon if you're a fatty

You got this user!

Don't forget to mix up your meals so you don't get bored and slip into /lazy /bad habits, if you're prone to that sort of stuff.

What is that mixture on the left? I might actually try this

Why do americans use their ovens so much, gas is really expensive here i usually cook only with the top of it.

bbqaddicts.com/recipes/pork/bacon-explosion/

It's just italian sausage, it isn't a mix of meats or anything

Most apartments here have electric ovens. Electricity can be super cheap or pricy depending on where you live. I am not sure about gas prices because I've never used a gas oven

the comic parts suck but the recipes are actually decent

But onions are delicious

Ah, thanks user, thought it was ground beef mixed with some sort of veggies / spices. I might try making my own mix as I dont care much for sausage.

Bacon wrapped pork loin is amazing though

Leftover bacon?? Is there such a thing?

These do not stick together to anyone wanting to make them. Cut the garlic and onions very fine, else they stick out and dont turn out too good. Realistically you could just blend this shit in a food processor so its all just evenly blended. What this recipe needs is far more flour. Give whole wheat flour a try with like 1/4 a cup or 1/2 cup so they dont fall apart.

Banana eggs?

If it starts tasting like pure salt, Ill stop eating it

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I have a hard time stopping myself from eating it.
Throw it in a container and use it to cook with veggies is my usual go to.
If not i'll eat the whole package.

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Wont shit for a week if you eat that.

I eat this

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use this and replace chicken with broccoli, cauliflower , diced carrots, etc, obviously adjust cooking time because veggies take less time

step aside plebs

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>Onions