Everyone ITT is living on an old jalopy of a spaceship. The SS Anonymous is all habitat modules and radiators...

Sorry, but i'm fine with the on board maids.
Never was fond of real women or them high tech gynoids either in the first place

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Captain, some Pepe's were spottded just north of wojack 5 could be a good haul

I dont know if you have ever seen someone fall over in zero-g but that shit is funny. You wouldnt expect it right? in a traditional slapstick banana peel gag they step on the banana their foot slides forward, their weight tilts backwards and they fall and land on their ass. before you ask, yes you can slip on a banana peel while wearing magboots, i dont know the science it just happens. Anyway in zero-g, shit ramps up. The mark steps on the banana peel and like in gravity the foot slips forward and the weight of the person tilts back. But in zero-g they dont fall, they spin. They often hit the back of their head on the floor as they spin. Its fucking hilarious watching guys spin out of control into the air flailing around and shit. during the spin they are very disorientated, like falling out of a tree but only realizing you fell after you are on the ground. It takes a few rotations for them to work out what the fuck just happened. They may think theres an accident and the whole ship is spinning. If there was an accident they need to know all the emergency procedure shit, is there a hull breach, fire etc. You will see their head turning, eyes looking in all directions as they try and get the best look at their surrounds as possible. Thats when you hit them with the cream pie to the face.

"a public cervice message to all the Jow Forums multiboarders, we're not going to fly to the sunmine, the shielding can't handle it so please refrain from sugesting it"

"our chicken tendie supply won't last us, a section representative meeting will be held to concider the option of diverting production capacity of our hormonal synthesizers to replica tendie production"

"if you're going to kill yourself, please don't use the airlock. we need that air and we don't want to waste your biomass"

"a message from the biotechnician team: please do not put your dick in the wetware."

I see, good work user. Set destination to Wojak 5.

Oh no... Wait.

News just came in about Planet Ham. It had so much mass that it has collapsed and become a black hole. We need to rush as fast as possible to rescue and evacuate the habitants of QT-735.

GET TO YOUR STATIONS. THIS IS GOING TO BE A ROUGH ONE.

Sir! The nerby kingdom of NEET request assistance but if we take on such a large amount of weight we might burn all our fuel before we make it back to any settled system

What do we call the ship?

Shit!
This is a hard decision... But Planet Ham has been growing in mass for a while. And the kingdom of NEET need their tendies delivered.

We are honorable. I'll risk our fuel to save QT-735 and the NEETs

DOUBLE TIME. LET'S GO GO GO

You're not even gonna put it to a vote? I'm not wage slaving to put my life at risk for a colony living on their parent planets dime.

They paid for these tendies either way. We have to deliver.

everybody go like this, i'm gonna take my clothes off and go in the zero g's chamber

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Anyone with agoraphobia want to trade me for a berth with a window?

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Man, I wish I could get a position in the bridge. How do you even get there? I don't wanna be bootlicking the captain

bridgemen are born not made. face it there are guys like them and metallic hydrogen shovellers like us.

trenchcoat gorilla onboard & bunking with trenchcoat bear; myth or fact?

I'm still wanting to be the ship whore. Any objections?

Trenchcoat Moose abstains from voting

I vote no homosexuals may come aboard unless we are transporting them to the camps.

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o shi the ship zubris has taken the wheel

too bad. guess I'll be replacing screws till the day I die

ISS The Face When No GF

I stumble in the bogeda in the cabin in my higheals wearing nothing but a thong and a cape for prom, soon i'm brushing my hair on the ground to metalcore while saying "what's up, you should've seen the person I was just just grinding with" people give me weird looks because I was dancing alone

trenchcoat bear, moose, & gorilla are driving a Zamboni around and i'm strapped to the front shrieking like a wildly banshee. we skid out and make a b-line for the window. the screams are non-existent in the vacuum of space

Maybe we should have the tendies for ourselves. Maybe you shouldn't be captain anymore!

This is a mutiny, let's storm the bridge and change course to the nearest loli planet WHO'S WITH ME?

Stop goofing around and memeing about made up planets. It's 214 days until we make port in Titan's orbit, and we have a correction burn in 17 hours and WE STILL ARENT GETTING PROPER COOLANT FLOW TO THE PORT RADIATORS.

Coolant volume is nominal so there isn't a leak thank God but I need anons to start searching for pinched lines or stuck valves. Most valves are solenoid actuated and I've already tested them from here, but CRP-6 CRP-14 on the main port line are manual only replacements of the originals. Some skelly fag manlet is going to have to crawl through the strut nine maintenance tunnel with a radio, flashlight, and pliers and test them for me.

Also, the small flexible hoses that branch off the main line to carry coolant to equipment are not original and were all installed in the last refit just before we bought her. They aren't accounted for in any literature or plans I could find and we could easily be missing one somewhere.

We can't afford to delay our correction burn and make deck crew recalculate every burn for the rest of our journey when we already have a programmed route. Come on a lot of you spend twelve hours a day playing video games and fucking around with pet projects like that hooch operation in the strut twelve tunnel. Grab radios, start at the coolant reservoir, and follow the line down strut nine, sending a man off to trace every tee off until you find the frozen valve.

If you don't help, we'll just have to shut off every piece of non-critical equipment on the port side so we can cool the reactor and engines during the burn. That means no electronics, no lights, no running water, and manual air circulation all day tomorrow.

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Sounds good to me boss

We landwhales are in, but I guess one of us is gonna have to patch the broken glass in the cabin b4 we all die

What's the consensus on guys who fuck guns?

Good, we could use your mass to help ram down the door and to keep the bridge chads down.

look I don't like to use this term because i'm not anti-homosexual
but this thread is gay

We need a volunteer for a pretty cushy job. The main LF comms dish isn't tracking signals properly so we need someone to stay in the LF comms operations room and keep it pointed towards Titan, except for the one hour a day we turn back towards Earth to download media and news. Also with the loss of tracking, we need eyes on the systems to ease the deck's worry something else is getting ready to fail.

Its simple, the main screen displays tracking and communication protocol analysis tools.

The top panel is for the hydraulics that move the dish, just make sure all the pumps are on and pressure is good.

Left panel is for the physical transmission layer, high voltage modulation. Right panel is for the the physical receiving layer, its all about amplification.

There's an annoying hum because you're squeezed in between the console and the busses, but you have a window.

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THE FREEZE DRIED ICE CREAM WAS MIIINE
MIIIIINNNNEE

FUCKING GLUTTONS OUT OUT OUT OUT OF MY VACUUM CABINET!!!!

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