So Mr. user, what are some notable skills you possess? Accomplishments you've achieved?

So Mr. user, what are some notable skills you possess? Accomplishments you've achieved?

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Well, I am CPR certified, and I have my high school diploma.

I can put my legs behind me head

I see... hmm... and how would your particular skillset be an asset to this company?

Please Mr. user, this is an interview. There'll be plenty of time for office jokes and hijinks if you get the job.

Well, I've got an education, plus i'm sure having a heartsaver will add to this establishment. having me around will make this workplace feel safer and more professional. Plus i know everything about OSHA so you won't have to worry about that as much.

I can play three instruments.
I'm the top DPS dealer in my WoW guild.
I once made a cum burrito.
When do I start bossman?

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I don't know if you're exactly what this company is looking for right now, but I like your can do attitude.
I'll give you a call back after consideration of whether you got the gusto for our thriving office environment.
I'm not sure we're looking for employees like you either Mr. user.

Alright, thanks for considering me Mr. user. Have a good day.

I'm a prodigy when it comes to the meat organ, it's a little known skill but I like to think someday it will come in handy.

>So Mr. user, what are some notable skills you possess? Accomplishments you've achieved?

These are softball interview questions.

A real interview question is:

"Do you possess real working experience using outdated software X that no one has even ever heard of? Well sorry you're not the right fit for our team, we really need someone with 2-3 years of experience with X.

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

The meat organ? An organ constructed entirely out of meat?
Hmm... have you ever played it in a professional setting? A church service or wedding perhaps?
Regardless, I don't know if it's a skill that would help the company.

Mr. user, we don't deal in software here.This is an interview for a sales position.
Not making a very good first impression, especially calling my interview question "softball". Apparently your only real skill is being a wisecrack which is not appreciated at this company. We promote a healthy workplace environment.

Mr. Guy interviewing me, I applied for the position of Electrical maintenance since I both graduated from a vocational school, I have worked for 5 star electrics for a period of two years and have performed satisfactory work. Know it came to my knowledge that the building we're in is not up to par with the NEC.

High school diploma
3 piblished papera
A patent
Some college education
Two years work experience
Black belt in karate
Eagle scout
Won multiple science fair awards and participated in ISEF
Beat a kid in a rap battle and a dance battle

I'm a doctor
>t. 8 seasons of scrubs and 8 seasons of house m.d. with a minor in M*A*S*H

I have an I.Q. of 300, several Nobel Prizes, and two centuries of Unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented.

I'm a real hero and a real human bean

pancho villa?

Listen here you fucking kike son of a bitch. I need this job. Badly. And if i don't get this job in gonna first sue your ass for racial discrimination. Than im gonna go grab a few boom sticks from Abdul At the local mosque. And the next time you see mee will be you begging for your life as i fuck your wife. And decapitate her afterwards.

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i fucked my sister

care to go into more detail?

i don't have any notable skills, i dropped out of high school in the first year, if you hire me i'll probably complain about the job everyday when i get home, and i don't even know what i'm doing here in the first place
you're better off hiring any other people that you interview before me.