*BANG*
*BANG*
*CRASH*
That's it. That's all it would take for a burglar to kick your door in and rob and kill you. How is all that time spent squatting going to help you now?
*BANG*
Kayden Lewis
Other urls found in this thread:
Dylan Lopez
Maybe with the shit doors in America but in Europe you can't just kick down a door cuz we use real quality
Thomas Bennett
lmao, that nigger gonna get shotgun capped in his ass
Jaxon Price
>not using one of these when you're at home
never going to make it brah
Jaxon Nguyen
Good luck trying to kick down an outward facing metal door. If I was training for security, i wouldn't be lifting
Luke Cruz
>white guy
>breaking in
What huffington post bs is this?
Gabriel Garcia
thread was made by a jew to make you fearful
Andrew Wood
I'll have the .410 aimed down the hallway before they can say mup da doo didda
Jaxson Young
Joshua Sanders
I don't live in the third world so I don't need something like that.
Carson Hernandez
>Implying burgerland doesn't have crime rates of the 3d world for some reason.
Nathan Allen
>How is all that time spent squatting going to help you now?
I wake up from my nightmare and remember I live in a safe first world country. Phew
Parker Phillips
>*dodge rolls behind you and unsheathes a fantasy dagger that looks like a gargorgyle shitting a steak knife*
>omae wa mou shinderu
Noah Cooper
I don't have a fly-screen on my window and my gates are unlocked. Someone could probably just yank my window a bit hard and it'd slide open no problem.
Xavier Bell
*unzips dic/k/*
Kevin Morgan
Squats might not help me, but this will.
Mason Gray
come through OP, I dares you
Blake Lee
>not sharpening the end of your barbell and shuffling towards him at deadly speeds
never going to make it
Thomas Diaz
thats cause burgers have houses made of out of cardboard instead of cement
Xavier Wright
Haha jokes on you, I got nothing worthwhile to steal!
Liam Walker
not sure what is he going to take
but i'm going to kick his ass anyway
Chase Robinson
this.
aside from that, i sleep with an axe under the bed
Connor Ramirez
you're doing it wrong, it's
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
*CRASH*
Sebastian Ward
I do MMA
Justin Young
I squat down and ask if he wants some vodka in a Russian accent
Then when he also joins me we have a slavsquat season and he leaves after it
Tyler Murphy
just kick the hinge side?
Landon Myers
>VRRRRRRRRRRRR
Charles Turner
>*Bang*
>*Crash*
>Grab knife that's hanging on bed-frame two feet from my head
>Use knife to cut away the sheets that I instinctively cocoon myself in while I sleep
>very slowly, so that I don't raise my heartrate (cardio kills gains), foam-roll out of bed
>put knife back in sheath for tomorrow morning
>in the dark, I deftly dodge the pile of gross laundry on the floor
>head to bathroom; weigh self on scale
>"Nice."
>start taking supplements
>hear shuffling and things breaking downstairs
>this guy has no idea what's coming
>about five minutes later, I'm ready
>sneak out of the bathroom and hide behind the door to my room that's perpetually kept open by my pull up bar
>put headphones in and start pump-up mix vol. 2
>it begins
>squat down in the darkened corner with perfect form
>years in the gym have given my quads the explosive power of SS+GOMAD
>I quiver with excitement
>or maybe preworkout
>I can't really tell
>dawn is breaking
>under the door though the morning light, I see a shadow being cast
>I begin rhythmically breathing
>achieve zen mode that monks in the highlands can only dream of
>I feel the ne'err-do-well through the vibrations in the floor
>they stumble over my converse into the pile of my dirty gym shorts
>I inhale one last time
>explode upward with thoughts of natty scoobs and based rippletits on my mind
>the burglar, now tied down in a miasma of ball sweat, can feel the sudden release of power
>it is too late
>I come down from the squat jump with all 400+ lbs of my Bloatlord Fury
>the neighbors immediately wake up and call the police
>the cops arrive to find me supersetting with Good Mornings
>"Good morning."
Jack Murphy
>he needs a cuck stick.
Lmao faggot
Wyatt Gomez
Why the fuck does someone have a laser on a .50.....
Isaac Sullivan
>gang of immigrants kick down door
>scream at them to get out
>immediately hauled off to jail for hate crime
Dominic Howard
M...Melbourne?
Ethan Anderson
those people have guns. only americans are retarded enough to have doors that can be kicked in.
Nicholas Parker
>foreigners carry doors around with them when they leave the house
neato
Blake Cruz
you cant kick in properly designed doors
Lucas Powell
>burglar kicks down door
>immediately grab him and put him over my shoulders
>squat him for 5 reps
>he’s utterly defeated
>cops arrive on the scene as I finish my 5th set
>lady cops miring as they take him away
Gabriel Ward
Are you genuinely retarded?
Ian Harris
>grab the cop car as it's driving away
>tyres screech uselessly
>squat it for 5 more reps
even the cops get lifted
Camden Richardson
Practically all doors can be kicked in though
Nathan Lee
WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU
Carson Sanders
Easy, be Jow Forums with a side of Jow Forums
Adrian Nguyen
I wasn't squatting to become better at fighting. Why do brainlets always conflate these?
Jeremiah Williams
Except I don't live in fucking America. You can't just kick a door in here.
Joshua Reyes
oh yeah? *kicks your door in*
Luke Turner
>"Dad someone's at the door!"
>"You know the drill, son."
Dominic Smith
Bad news then, cause squatting actually have made you better at fighting.
Brandon Morris
That time squatting gave me more explosive power for sprinting to my gat to splat that rat
Colton Davis
>Come on in
>Doors open :^)
Ayden Moore
is there any footage of this in action?
Jose Rogers
You can't kick in a door, user.
You can't even ram a proper door. You'd have better luck kicking down the rebar-concrete walls around a proper door.
John Ramirez
Charles Nelson
*looks down at the shards of your door littered about my feet while you're babbling*
Christian Scott
Don't have anything better for home defence?
Noah Thomas
>Not putting dumbbells in front of your door.
>Not being fit enough to scare off or beat up a robber.
Nathan Torres
beautiful
Jose Rivera
Based and underrated.
Ayden Rodriguez
What kind of super doors are you picturing? I have kicked down a door before and even kicked one in half and I don't live in America
Thomas Brown
In Ireland since everyone bascilly knows each other and probably have an acquaintance in commmon
I would just open the door slightly and say "I know your mother"
Burglar would say "Aw fuck, you probably do" and run away.
Jordan Moore
lol I have one of those Turkish made explosive proof doors that weight half a ton so good luck breaking in fuckboy
Grayson Long
Liam Gomez
fit is always so fucking good in the mornings.
>foam roll out of bed
My fucking sides
Kayden White
>M...Melbourne?
Sound we ain't fucking around
Elijah Perez
would that sound something like
>ahh noh yer mudder
Wyatt Sullivan
>Implying glorious Burgerlandia doesn't have a 3rd world population of about 30% with combined niggers and beaners.
Joshua Scott
>t.
Adrian Jackson
Bitch, please..
Angel Lopez
*chit chit*
*bang*
That's it. That's all it would take to put a slug through his face
Justin Gutierrez
this is superior to shit like new york in every single way imagineable
Samuel Martinez
>implying burgers aren't spooning their AR-15's and cross their fingers every time they go to sleep that they get to shoot a black and get away with it because they were burgling
Jayden Scott
Based
Brody Phillips
>LOLOLOL I GET ALL MUH NEWS FROM POLE AND LAUREN SLUTERN LOOK AT ME I KNOW ALL ABOUT YUROP’S IMMIAGRUNS AND BLACK ON BLACK CRIME STATS
Owen Miller
Put me in the screencap for r/greentexts!
Grayson Roberts
He's right though. This is coming from a britbong
Josiah Brooks
A hunting dog to go with it.
Owen Martin
>.410
Guess you're gonna tickle him to death?
Kevin Morales
Beautiful.
Kayden Lee
>9mm
It's like you're asking to get raped.
Alexander Collins
vintage meme
Aiden Powell
Faggot.
Jaxson Ward
*BANG*
*BANG*
*CRASH*
*BANG*
*BANG*
*CRASH*
*BANG*
*BANG*
*CRASH*
*BANG*
*BANG*
*CRASH*
SOMEONE AT THE DOOR MAKIN' BIG NOISE
COMIN' FROM THE STREET WANTS TO BE IN MY HOUSE SOMEDAY
YOU GOT A MASK ON YOUR FACE
YOU BIG DISGRACE
KICKIN' THE DOOR DOWN INTO MY PLACE
Thomas Price
Brits, French, Germans, Swedes =/= Rest of Europe
No wonder mutts make fun of you, you are just as bad as them
Anthony Foster
top kek
Juan Long
Was this funny in your head?
That's why you samefagged when nobody replied?
William Kelly
Makes kicking the door in easier
Grayson Peterson
Freddie? is that you?
Brandon Perez
>3d world
You mean to tell me that we're living in THREE dimensions?
Christian Moore
OMG get Barry OiBamYourmomas face of spike speigel OMG wtf
Carter Long
Imagine being this mad about a post.
Fact is, most of the "racists" you see on here don't even go on Jow Forums.
Christian Bennett
Lol I'm relatively new to guns but I'm sure it wouldn't tickle
My gfs dad has a bunch and he lets me shoot them, favorites are the ar and glock 45, wish I had the money to get those
Adam Gray
>he doesnt have a nightstand gun
>he doesnt have a coffee table gun
>he doesnt have a fridge gun
>he doesnt have a shower gun
Never gonna make it
Andrew Bell
>an axe under the bed
being European is a mental disorder
Brody Peterson
Do you have health issues?
Sebastian Adams
Singing we will
We will
Rob you!
Cooper Martin
Joshua Harris
BANG
BANG
BANG
PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER
Jose King
what if you broke into his house on purpose as a joke haha
Benjamin Jackson
I'd chin some faggot robber in a split second
Josiah Morris
hello there
Ryan Myers
what if you broke into his house on purpose as a joke haha
Tyler Butler