*BANG*

*BANG*

*BANG*

*CRASH*

That's it. That's all it would take for a burglar to kick your door in and rob and kill you. How is all that time spent squatting going to help you now?

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Maybe with the shit doors in America but in Europe you can't just kick down a door cuz we use real quality

lmao, that nigger gonna get shotgun capped in his ass

>not using one of these when you're at home

never going to make it brah

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Good luck trying to kick down an outward facing metal door. If I was training for security, i wouldn't be lifting

>white guy
>breaking in

What huffington post bs is this?

thread was made by a jew to make you fearful

I'll have the .410 aimed down the hallway before they can say mup da doo didda

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I don't live in the third world so I don't need something like that.

>Implying burgerland doesn't have crime rates of the 3d world for some reason.

>How is all that time spent squatting going to help you now?

I wake up from my nightmare and remember I live in a safe first world country. Phew

>*dodge rolls behind you and unsheathes a fantasy dagger that looks like a gargorgyle shitting a steak knife*
>omae wa mou shinderu

I don't have a fly-screen on my window and my gates are unlocked. Someone could probably just yank my window a bit hard and it'd slide open no problem.

*unzips dic/k/*

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Squats might not help me, but this will.

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come through OP, I dares you

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>not sharpening the end of your barbell and shuffling towards him at deadly speeds
never going to make it

thats cause burgers have houses made of out of cardboard instead of cement

Haha jokes on you, I got nothing worthwhile to steal!

not sure what is he going to take
but i'm going to kick his ass anyway

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this.
aside from that, i sleep with an axe under the bed

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you're doing it wrong, it's
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
*CRASH*

I do MMA

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I squat down and ask if he wants some vodka in a Russian accent
Then when he also joins me we have a slavsquat season and he leaves after it

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just kick the hinge side?

>VRRRRRRRRRRRR

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>*Bang*
>*Crash*
>Grab knife that's hanging on bed-frame two feet from my head
>Use knife to cut away the sheets that I instinctively cocoon myself in while I sleep
>very slowly, so that I don't raise my heartrate (cardio kills gains), foam-roll out of bed
>put knife back in sheath for tomorrow morning
>in the dark, I deftly dodge the pile of gross laundry on the floor
>head to bathroom; weigh self on scale
>"Nice."
>start taking supplements
>hear shuffling and things breaking downstairs
>this guy has no idea what's coming
>about five minutes later, I'm ready
>sneak out of the bathroom and hide behind the door to my room that's perpetually kept open by my pull up bar
>put headphones in and start pump-up mix vol. 2
>it begins
>squat down in the darkened corner with perfect form
>years in the gym have given my quads the explosive power of SS+GOMAD
>I quiver with excitement
>or maybe preworkout
>I can't really tell
>dawn is breaking
>under the door though the morning light, I see a shadow being cast
>I begin rhythmically breathing
>achieve zen mode that monks in the highlands can only dream of
>I feel the ne'err-do-well through the vibrations in the floor
>they stumble over my converse into the pile of my dirty gym shorts
>I inhale one last time
>explode upward with thoughts of natty scoobs and based rippletits on my mind
>the burglar, now tied down in a miasma of ball sweat, can feel the sudden release of power
>it is too late
>I come down from the squat jump with all 400+ lbs of my Bloatlord Fury
>the neighbors immediately wake up and call the police
>the cops arrive to find me supersetting with Good Mornings
>"Good morning."

>he needs a cuck stick.

Lmao faggot

Why the fuck does someone have a laser on a .50.....

>gang of immigrants kick down door
>scream at them to get out
>immediately hauled off to jail for hate crime

M...Melbourne?

those people have guns. only americans are retarded enough to have doors that can be kicked in.

>foreigners carry doors around with them when they leave the house
neato

you cant kick in properly designed doors

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>burglar kicks down door
>immediately grab him and put him over my shoulders
>squat him for 5 reps
>he’s utterly defeated
>cops arrive on the scene as I finish my 5th set
>lady cops miring as they take him away

Are you genuinely retarded?

>grab the cop car as it's driving away
>tyres screech uselessly
>squat it for 5 more reps
even the cops get lifted

Practically all doors can be kicked in though

WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU

Easy, be Jow Forums with a side of Jow Forums

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I wasn't squatting to become better at fighting. Why do brainlets always conflate these?

Except I don't live in fucking America. You can't just kick a door in here.

oh yeah? *kicks your door in*

>"Dad someone's at the door!"
>"You know the drill, son."

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Bad news then, cause squatting actually have made you better at fighting.

That time squatting gave me more explosive power for sprinting to my gat to splat that rat

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>Come on in
>Doors open :^)

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is there any footage of this in action?

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You can't kick in a door, user.
You can't even ram a proper door. You'd have better luck kicking down the rebar-concrete walls around a proper door.

yee
youtube.com/watch?v=zISYZA1x620

*looks down at the shards of your door littered about my feet while you're babbling*

Don't have anything better for home defence?

>Not putting dumbbells in front of your door.
>Not being fit enough to scare off or beat up a robber.

beautiful

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Based and underrated.

What kind of super doors are you picturing? I have kicked down a door before and even kicked one in half and I don't live in America

In Ireland since everyone bascilly knows each other and probably have an acquaintance in commmon

I would just open the door slightly and say "I know your mother"
Burglar would say "Aw fuck, you probably do" and run away.

lol I have one of those Turkish made explosive proof doors that weight half a ton so good luck breaking in fuckboy

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fit is always so fucking good in the mornings.
>foam roll out of bed
My fucking sides

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>M...Melbourne?
Sound we ain't fucking around

would that sound something like

>ahh noh yer mudder

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>Implying glorious Burgerlandia doesn't have a 3rd world population of about 30% with combined niggers and beaners.

>t.

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Bitch, please..

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*chit chit*
*bang*
That's it. That's all it would take to put a slug through his face

this is superior to shit like new york in every single way imagineable

>implying burgers aren't spooning their AR-15's and cross their fingers every time they go to sleep that they get to shoot a black and get away with it because they were burgling

Based

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>LOLOLOL I GET ALL MUH NEWS FROM POLE AND LAUREN SLUTERN LOOK AT ME I KNOW ALL ABOUT YUROP’S IMMIAGRUNS AND BLACK ON BLACK CRIME STATS

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Put me in the screencap for r/greentexts!

He's right though. This is coming from a britbong

A hunting dog to go with it.

>.410

Guess you're gonna tickle him to death?

Beautiful.

>9mm

It's like you're asking to get raped.

vintage meme

Faggot.

*BANG*
*BANG*
*CRASH*

*BANG*
*BANG*
*CRASH*

*BANG*
*BANG*
*CRASH*

*BANG*
*BANG*
*CRASH*

SOMEONE AT THE DOOR MAKIN' BIG NOISE
COMIN' FROM THE STREET WANTS TO BE IN MY HOUSE SOMEDAY
YOU GOT A MASK ON YOUR FACE
YOU BIG DISGRACE
KICKIN' THE DOOR DOWN INTO MY PLACE

Brits, French, Germans, Swedes =/= Rest of Europe

No wonder mutts make fun of you, you are just as bad as them

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top kek

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Was this funny in your head?
That's why you samefagged when nobody replied?

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Makes kicking the door in easier

Freddie? is that you?

>3d world
You mean to tell me that we're living in THREE dimensions?

OMG get Barry OiBamYourmomas face of spike speigel OMG wtf

Imagine being this mad about a post.
Fact is, most of the "racists" you see on here don't even go on Jow Forums.

Lol I'm relatively new to guns but I'm sure it wouldn't tickle
My gfs dad has a bunch and he lets me shoot them, favorites are the ar and glock 45, wish I had the money to get those

>he doesnt have a nightstand gun
>he doesnt have a coffee table gun
>he doesnt have a fridge gun
>he doesnt have a shower gun
Never gonna make it

>an axe under the bed
being European is a mental disorder

Do you have health issues?

Singing we will
We will
Rob you!

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BANG
BANG
BANG
PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER

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what if you broke into his house on purpose as a joke haha

I'd chin some faggot robber in a split second

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hello there

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what if you broke into his house on purpose as a joke haha

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