Can we get a bulking Jow Forums recipe thread going?

Classic defeatist mentality. “Hurr durr I didn’t have a perfect childhood so I’m allowed to be retarded”. Take 10 min off Jow Forums and use the internet to find good recipes so you don’t have to eat like the dog that you are. If that’s too hard for you to do then you mind as well kill yourself because you are not a benefit to society

That looks like something you'd feed the animals in the rural areas

way too many carbs and not enough protein

this would make sense for someone who never learned how to cook, though. a lot of middle class millenials can barely perform basic household functions. I grew up in a somewhat poor household and learned to cook because my Mom was busy working and I actually enjoyed it. Throwing shitty soup in a pot with rice isn't cooking, cost effective, or nutritious. You can make a healthier batch of soup that will last you a week for a similar cost.

Never gonna make it.
but Deenz > Tuna.

>morals
spook

Where the fuck are you getting 3 cans of tuna for $3?

thanks user very cool

Get 2lb chicken leg quarters (2 legs basically)
Stick in oven at 400F
30mins in sprinkle with salt, pepper, and dry spices (garlic powder, rosemary, thyme, basil, sage, cumin, ...whatever you got).
Put back in oven for 30 more min

Eat. You can spice it up with mustard or hot sauce as well. Very tasty, very keto.

Should be around 1.6kcal with 160g protein. pErfect cut. You wanna bulk, spoon over the rendered fat from the pan onto some baked potatoes.

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Warning: this makes honey mustard gas.

Learn how to fucking cook you nigger

Meme form or don’t bother. Need infographic with inside Jow Forums jokes if you’re gonna share.

This is some baby shit. A bag of mutant mass is 27,723.077 kcal alone. Just Eat that a day and your on a pretty good bulk

This is also an alternative to the hungry skeltor shake

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I lived in a surburbs. Every time I asked my mom to teach me how to cook she told me not to bother and she'll cook for me. I had to start cooking myself without asking to learn anything.

Another thing i do is get 10oz of chicken tits.
Cut that bitch in half. Put parkay on a grill skillet.
Douse those breasts in lemon juice, himalayan pink salt and pepper.
Heat the pan up, maybe like a minute. Butter can achieve caramelization or someshit pretty fast. Cook the breasteses for 2 minutes on each side.
Once those puppies are done get your whole grain wheat burger buns. 18g of protein if you eat two servings. 400mg or so of sodium.
Put your chicken patties on it. Got your bacon, your lettuce of your choosing. Pepperjack & habanero cheese slices (lower sodium than reggy cheddar cheese) and wala my brother. 100+g of protons. 10g of fat from that chicken. Add some more from the butter, cheese & bread however they got.
Good shit. Real shit.

Nothing like a hearty serving of nutrient paste

perfect bulking food

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i just eat 1 kg of oats per day desu
works for me

I could make a cheaper, tastier, and more nutritious meal with my eyes closed you giganigger

that bara furry tho

>4 scoops
SIX SCOOPS COME ON

I fucking love red beans and rice. Toss in some andouille and tabasco sauce and it's perfect.

tastes like baby food

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I grew up rural. Still had a SAHM though. Life's cheap in the boonies.

do it the jamaican way with coconut milk and scotch bonnet peppers, its mind (and anus) blowing

>rice_and_peas.jpg
>clearly beans not peas

quality thread i must admit

history tiem
the original recipe used cow peas.
many jamaicans came to britain in the 1950s, cow peas were not a common thing in britain, so kidney beans filled in.
the recipe changed but the old name stuck

simple as fuck to make too
eatjamaican.com/recipes/riceandpeas-recipe.html

How to add more calories to beans + rice and make it taste less bland?

coconut milk

But coconut milk tastes awful

Lasagna
3 big cans tomato sauce
1 small can tomato paste
1can whole pealed tomatoes
2boxes lasagna noodles
2 large rocotta
2bags shred patm
2 bags mozz
2bags Italian 3 cheese
Put down a hearty layer of your sauce
Then noodles
Then layer everything accordingly
No need to cook noodles since they cook in the sauce
Add sauce every single layer no matter what
Top with all shredded cheese
Bake on 350 until top is brown
Probably an hour, hour half
Btw cook in largest lasagna pan available
Can weigh up to 20 lbs and last a week

I didn't learn how to cook until I was on my own. Put in some fucking effort, find some recipes, watch some Good Eats, and learn a important/necessary life skill. Plus it's unironically an interesting hobby and women fucking love it when you can cook a good meal.

Not this oats and tuna "food" or tuna+egg """burgers""" or whey "pancakes" or the other garbage you see from Jow Forums recipes by DYECs

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boiled pearl barley.
worked for the gladiators

it tastes of coconuts.
you're thinking of coconut water

If you ate this a lot you would get mercury poisoning. Replace the tuna with salmon.

No, I'm thinking of coconut milk. I've tried cooking with it before and it's just way too fucking thick.

man, thats pretty much all the good thai food off limits to you then

>DYECs

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What's the reason for only seasoning them halfway through? seasoning sticks best when its raw.

Also when cooking skin-on chicken, you should shove your fingers under the skin and separate it from the meat without taking it off, then put seasoning both on top of the skin and under the skin as well. The separation allows it to crisp up very nicely.

posting some thrall
youtube.com/watch?v=r3EcpR0ysKg

Chekd

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mama mia thatsa spicy insulin spike

your soup has so᠌y in it

Tryin to get big?

90% of that is going to shoot out your ass in a volcanic fashion

Thanks, but I think I'll stick to my shredded newspaper gruel recipe.

Easy greek marinade for chicken/pork (measurements are for 20-24 oz of meat, so adjust as needed):
>3 tbsp olive oil
>3 tbsp fresh lemon juice (squeeze 1.5 lemons for this. use a pair of tongs to squeeze over a mesh strainer and a bowl to maximize juice and minimize pulp)
>1tbsp red vinegar
>1 tbsp minced garlic
>1/2 tsp dried oregano
>1/2 tsp dried thyme (or 1/4 tsp ground)
>1/2 tsp salt
>1/2 tsp pepper (fresh cracked if you can)
>1/4 tsp dried rosemary
>1/4 tsp cayenne

Trim the meat and place either in a plastic bag or some sealable container as evenly as possible. Whisk the ingredients together and dump over meat. Let sit for 30 minutes - 2 hours (do not go over this because the acids break down the meat and fuck everything up after awhile). I prefer to grill it for 75 seconds/ounce (each breast measured separately for time) but you can bake at 450F for 16-20 minutes (depending on how thicc your chicken is).

I slice this up and put it on some pitas with some veggies and a bit of sauce for a solid lunch.

Poached chicken tits for kitchen illiterate tards:
>take chicken tiddies out of fridge and onto a plate or some surface where it won't dangerously touch shit
>let it sit out for ~30 minutes
>fill pot with water and a bit of salt (or broth if you're a baller that don't give a fuck about sodium)
>bring liquid to boil
>drop tiddies in the liquid and wait for it to start bubbling again
>cover pot and remove from heat
>let sit in pot for 25 minutes

Fuckin joocy, perfectly cooked tiddies that can go into chicken salads, regular salads, pastas, stir-fries, or whatever the fuck you want. I don't recommend eating them plain since they're very neutral tasting, but if you gotta make gains, there's worse things you can do

why is fit so terrible at cooking?

Because most of Jow Forums are college kids living on their own for the first time having never cooked anything more than ramen before in their lives.

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i hate new Jow Forums. people used to get the memes. now everything is so serious...

10-ish minute spicy peanut chicken and broccoli:
>1 lb chicken tiddy (or thigh)
>1-2 bunches of broccoli cut into florets
>3 cloves garlic minced (1/2 tbsp if from jar)
>1 tsp ginger paste or 1/4 tsp ground ginger
>1 tbsp coconut oil
>handful of peanuts

Sauce:
>3 tbsp onions sauce
>2 tbsp peanut butter
>1 tsp vinegar (regular or rice)
>1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (or more if you like extra heat)

Chop chicken tiddies up into bite size pieces (DO NOT CUT WITH THE GRAIN). Heat pan on medium high (6-7 if your burner goes up to 10) heat. Once hot, add in oil and move around pan to get it all over that shit. Add chicken in single layer and let cook for 1 minute. Then either flip chicken and let sit for another minute before stirring or just stir fry that shit for 3 minutes. Add garlic and ginger and stir fry for another minute. Add broccoli florets and stir fry another 2-3 minutes. Mix together shit for the sauce and dump it in the pan along with the peanuts, stirring constantly. Cook another 2-3 minutes, then take off heat and let rest for a couple minutes. Serve over rice OR add more broccoli to the recipe

>meme chink food

>using racial slurs furthers my argument

Post body

knowing how to cook doesnt equal entitlement. what is in op is garbage and you should learn how to cook

god this shit is fucking disgusting. learn to cook you absolute fucking mongoloids. its a click away

Stop replying to the bait summerbitch.

you're right. coconut milk means it'd be meme gook food instead, technically. Still fucking garbage either way.

are you even trying to get big?

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>low fat milk

Post sugar.

>TGOMAD
He has ascended beyond Lord Rip

Huh? Why would I learn how to cook when I was at home with Mommy? I learned how to cook when I moved into my apartment freshman year.

Pls no it doesn't have to be this way

I taught myself to cook while I was in high school and my mom was getting her graduate degree. She soon had me cooking for my sisters too

This is basically risotto with canned tuna.

>Nutrient Paste

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Stop replying to the copy pasta bait summerdyels.

Enjoy your estrogen

Sugar is a little high but it has a low gylcemic index, so you probably won't get diabetes or other illnesses caused by high blood sugar.
more protein per calories

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>3 cans of tuna in one go
lmao enjoy your mercury poisoning

>372 g sugar in one day.
>you probably won't get diabetes
RIP

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Jow Forums pancakes
Favorite weekend breakfast
1 cup of rolled oats
1 cup of cottage cheese
1 cup of liquid egg whites
2 scoops of whey
Macros 955 cals 120P 90C
I throw tons of fruit on their and top it with light low fat whipping cream so ends up about 1100-1200 cals. Not even on a bulk yet I have these every weekend. Will post more recipes if requested

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Macros are without any toppings btw

More pancakes, different toppings to show variety

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Oh shit. Good looking out. Even if it was Dijon it won't be worth the hassle of making it now.

MOTHA FUCKIN GOOOOOOOOD EEAAAAAATTTTTTSSSSS IN THIS BIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!!!!!!

>431g of carbs
Goodbye, pancreas

Nigger those are real pancakes

Heres a Mexican style rice I just made that was bretty gud

Heat 3 tbsp of a neutral oil (like coconut) in a pan over medium heat. Add 1 cup uncooked rice with 1/2 tsp each of salt and ground cumin. Toast for ~7 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add 1-2 cloves of crushed or minced garlic and continue cooking for another minute. Add 1 cup each of broth and salsa, stirring to incorporate it all. Once it boils, turn down to a simmer and put lid on pan. Simmer for 20 minutes, then take it off heat and let it sit for a couple more minutes. Mix that shit up and throw your beans in there, either in a bowl or in the pan itself

Posted this without the calorie changes. If your salsa is like mine, you've added about 540 calories to your dish. 360 from the oil, 160 from the salsa and ~20 from the broth

Jeez user take it easy

Why don't you just eat them separately? It'll prevent that from spoiling early

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