Bros, am I making it or not?
>move to new area
>find a new table massage place to get the metabolic waste pressed out of muh muscles and force multiply dem gainz
>asian massage parlor, reasonable rates, "ok"
>arrive, explain to the asian that speaks the best english what I'm looking for
>"60 minutes, torso and above, extra attention on neck, especially scalenes, trapazius muscles, and pectorals please"
>it's 90+ fuckin dungarees out so I'm wearing a tanktop
>"are you an athlete? I can tell"
>"uh sure" (nope, i'm a gymcel, dragon lady)
>private room, instructed to disrobe, strip to boxer briefs cause i'm strictly professional
>younger dragon lady with questionable english ability comes in
>can't tell if her incessant giggling is some kind of forced cultural thing, or I'm hideous, or she's mirin my gainz or what
>starts with back, she's OK, decent pressure and technique, but no sports massage practitioner for sure.
>yanks my skivvies most of the way down and starts working my glutes
>(uh I said torso and above... but whatevs)
>actually feels kinda good, imokwiththis.jpg.exe
>time to flip over, she doesn't bother holding a blanket over me, can i get some modesty lady?
>starts working my arms, yaassss
>"big muscle, play sport?"
>"yup" (nope)
>almost done. she pushes me up into a seated position, climbs up on the table and puts all her weight through her forearms into my traps
>then grabs under my arms and yanks me up and around, I guess to loosen the shoulder joints (this is new to me)
>her: "wow you not very heavy!"
>me: "or you're just strong" (no, she's a tiny dragon lady)
>her: *giggle*
I'm 6'1", 170lbs, 29" waist for reference. I was having a good day until she tossed me around like a doll.
