Have no social skills

>have no social skills
>at store trying on clothes
>cute girl salesperson: "how's your day"
>me: it's good, how's yours?
>girl: i'm so tired right now. i don't know what it is, but i'm tired
>me: yeah...
what am i supposed to say in this situation?

this happens a lot, people tell me phrases I don't have a good response to
>i'm tired/sleepy
>i feel sick
>i have a headache
>the weather is nice/terrible/cold
what can i say other than something like "okay" or "yeah". like, if they're sick, what am i supposed to do about it? they should get some rest
I can't change the weather, they've just given a fact about it

>tfw no social skills
>no friends
>often give one word responses
>rarely say more than 5 words in a sentence
>conversations last less than 30 seconds usually
help, how do i get social skills?

To keep it somewhat Jow Forums related, I didn't buy any clothes because my chest is too big from benching, and off the rack clothes doesn't fit anymore

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'When do you get off/finish work?'
'Do you know why?'

You guys think cats see us as big weird cats or as humans?

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I'm sure they're smart enough to realize that these big bipedal motherfuckers with almost no fur and with thumbs aren't cats

Try putting yourself in her position. How would you WANT someone to respond after you told them that you are tired?

When someone tells you their emotional state they most likely want some sort of acknowledgement and a moment of comfort.

>girl: i'm so tired right now. i don't know what it is, but i'm tired

Wow, she clearly wanted you to invite her back to your bed so she could "sleep" but actually get your dick in her vagina hole.
Can't believe you missed this opportunity.

Ask questions. Get interested in their lives.
Why are they tired/sick/have a headache? Have you had any of these things recently? How did they make you feel?
It's all about sharing emotions and experiences, dude.

>sleep is important and remember to stay hydrated!
Jesus, it's really not that hard

dude that one was a slam dunk.
she says she is tired,
>oh, well what time do you finally get to go home?
She answers, you get some intel, then ask her to get coffee. shit helps with that tiredness she mentioned earlier.
Its all practice homie.

>your first words to a stranger you never met are "what time do you get to go home"
yeah man thats good advice if you're living in creep city
git gud man

> sales girl
why even engage with a salesperson?

Are people at clothes stores supposed to flirt with you? I don't buy new jeans often but every single time they are overly friendly with me. I can't tell if they are just supposed to.

THIS

didn't know Jow Forums was full of so many players

>cute girl salesperson: "how's your day"
>me: it's good, how's yours?
>girl: i'm so tired right now. i don't know what it is, but i'm tired
>[Hard cut to jackhammering her pussy]

It's easy, just do this.

yes
it makes you more likely to come back to that store

the fact that she expects some random person to care is weird

>aww you should get some rest
You could have said this lmao

>haha yeah, but gotta work unfortunately
>relaxing once in a while is important too you know
>I guess you're right
>how about I take you out this xxx
>sure :)
>aquire phone number and leave

It's just good customer service. Unless she has a huge grin and laughs when you crack a joke/ blemishes when you make a nice compliment, it's really just it. Maybe the store has a commission policy for employees closing a sale? That's the reason why they are friendly

have you actually had a conversation go like this before? i'm genuinely curious

No I'm just larping

That's just them being customer service. It's no different than when you go to any other store and people walking the aisles will ask "is there something I can help you with". I suppose there might also be the possibility of getting commission if a sales lady is able to get you to buy something, but IDK

If I was in their position, I'd never have started the conversation anyways so I don't even know what I'd want to hear or why I would say it.

Tell her she is weak and walk away

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you say that, but apparently the reason they bring in dead birds and mice and shit isn't as a "gift" but it's a parental thing trying to teach you how to hunt
>ie. they think you're too stupid to know how to hunt

>yeah

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Honestly, I'd respond with something like "bummer, sucks to be you" but then I don't think I've ever been on a date with a store clerk so my advice is probably terrible

>conversingwithholes.jpg

I try to say it like "yeah?"... but I think it comes out as "yeah"

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Its ok to ramble about your obsessions and things that excite you. Its okay to be selfish, if you dont act selfish you will become boring and start thinking about what you should say instead of whats going on in your mind.

she probably was working for commission. a lot of stores do this and qt girls know they can get guys to buy stuff

Have you ever hunted with your cat before?
No shit they think you don't know how to hunt.

My jimmies get rustled by how much easier women have it when it comes to things like commission/tips. Think about every 60 year old boomer who tips the waitress a metric fuckton just because she's young and cute and smiled at him. Meanwhile the waiter is up shits creek without a paddle through no fault of his own.

>girl: i'm so tired right now. i don't know what it is, but i'm tired
>That sucks, are you off soon atleast?
>girl: yeah just 2 more hours
>Hey atleast you're almost there

Then end it with a little smile and go back to doing what you're doing. If she's interested she'll keep the convo going. If not, then she probably won't. That's it. Just show a little bit of interest in what they're saying mixed in with a dash of empathy.

That's not creepy at all, that's just making conversation.
I'm sure any sort of social interaction beyond "y-you too" would seem creepy to a shut-in.

Also wanted to add that getting a job in customer service really helped with my social skills and what to say in conversations that I previously thought would have been awkward. I was super fucking socially awkward so it took a long time for me to get to the point of being normal, but I'm glad I did it.

Even just getting a job part time for a few months will help. Just pay attention to other employees and their interaction with customers.

Nice projection, but I'm sure a shut-in is just as likely to be unable to tell the difference between conversation and being creepy.

girl: i'm so tired right now. i don't know what it is, but i'm tired
(you):im tired too, wanna sleep with me?

I work a job that requires a lot of customer service skills and I'm still terrible at social interaction in my personal life. IDK, it's like I can do it just fine so long as I'm "playing the role".

you look for meaning and connection in your everyday relationships, thats why you dont want to fake it
>just bee urself brah

>girl: i'm so tired right now. i don't know what it is, but i'm tired
>me: *drops on knee* i hate the thought of a fair maiden such as yourself having to suffer like this.
>me: If I was your boyfriend, I would make sure to work twice as hard so you wouldn't have to ever be tired from working.
>girl: o-okay so have a nice d-
>me: *stands up* *grabs sword cane* oh? so you are finally showing your true colors? I was being nice to you and you suddenly turned into a bitch.
>me: I hope you go home to your abusive boyfriend who makes you work to your bone because that's what you bitches want: a jerk who doesn't care about you
>me: Good luck with that, you just lost a shot with a true gentleman, your loss, thot.
>me: I'll be in front of the store if you want to apologize.

Who the fuck goes hunting with their cats? Cats are cool and all but dogs will forever and have always been the humans best hunting bro. Usually dogs know that their human is the leader and thats why we brought them to space and will populate the galaxies with humans and dogs. Two species from earth united in their lust for conquest and prey.

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>IDK, it's like I can do it just fine so long as I'm "playing the role".

Yeah it took me 4 or so years of fulltime customer service before "playing the role" become part of who I am. If you want it to move along faster just start asking customers stuff like "any big plans for the day?" or if they are dressed nicely ask "Going on a date/got a big meeting/etc.". Once I just started doing that kind of stuff my social skills really improved.

Eventually it'll honestly just be brain muscle memory in terms of conversation, except more dynamic.

again, asking people when they get off work isn't creepy in the slightest, especially if they are the ones who initiated the conversation.
you maladjusted weirdo.

posts like these should come with a large 'it's a joke' sign, you never know what autists here can take seriously

>you look for meaning and connection in your everyday relationships, thats why you dont want to fake it

Not that user but is this why I had a massive crush on a client I saw twice a week for two hours? I did nothing about it and tried very hard to remain 'professional' btw.

nah, dogs are more like the genetically engineered slave race from our original planet.
in 500 years or so, dog people will have bragging rights, because they come from the same planet as the human overlords, unlike all the other genetically engineered slave races.

>Go take a powernap, I'll watch the store for you but dont blame me if theres cash missing from the register.

I work at a pc parts retail store and get like 30€/month in tips.
It's probably nothing compared to what a beautiful female would get but i was surprised to even get any tips at all.

They think we're big cats

disgusting old women tip me after I sleep with them for money

>I'm tired
>try sleeping with me
Never works but idgaf one day some that will fall for it

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Slightly underrated

Zozzle

It might work on tinder though, right? And in real life it would be funny if you are good looking?
autist here

No and no. Lmao

This

t.non-chad

Bro have you ever hunted with a cougar?

Quick rundown?

This exactly.

If she says she has a lot of time left, you can sympathize or make a joke about it like "oh it'll be over in no time!" If her shift's almost over then you just give some encouragement like "you're almost there!". I suppose if you're naturally funny you could put a joke in there to carry on the conversation but it's really up to her then if she wants to or not.

This is literally just how to talk to people 101.

>If I was in their position, I'd never have started the conversation anyways
Agree whole-heartedly, but come on, you can pretend. If it was a story or show you where in charge of (not a porno) how do you think it would go down? Dumb joke, why you are also tired, just fake empathy "that sucks, hope you don't have to work too much today"

This is all well and good,, but how do I get my autism to care enough to even make a positive comment to someone who offloaded one of their personal issues to me and has probably done so to many others?