It's been four days at least since i've had a shit, this fucking blows.
To top it off I'm ripping the most unholy, paint-thinning, ISIS-converting farts, seriously they're flavorful.
I've been chugging water and I mostly eat lentils, tomatoes, onions, potatoes, greek yoghurt, chicken, and hummus what the FUCK, help this retard out, anyone have stories?
>sitting in calc class the other day >qt asian exchange student miring next to me >some indian guy next to her whips out his weird poo slurry dish >feel the mother of all sharts coming on >can't stop it >get up to go to the washroom >silent rush of stinging gasses fires from my anus like a compressed air can >pajeet opens his tupperware up >drench both of them in the most disgusting fart >aroma is mixed with pajeets stinky lunch >people are covering their noses staring at him >get to the washroom >can't shit
thanks im gunna get some cherries and prunes then i'll go for the nuclear option if that fails
Bentley Rivera
try taking strong laxatives 4 days is approaching dangerous territory though, consider going to a doctor. intestinal obstruction is no joke and can quickly kill you if left untreated.
Christopher Hughes
jeez i didn't realize it was that serious i'm going to try to the laxative
constipation can have a lot of causes. often it is harmless and resolves on its own, but sometimes it may becaused because your intestine got twisted in a way that permanently blocks it. this will kill you within a week if left untreated. or maybe it is because you got intestinal cancer.
seriously man, 4 days is pretty serious. i would check in with a doctor if i were you.
Jaxson Russell
flax seeds. everyday.
Carson Rodriguez
Milk of magnesia. I had a blockage before that was absolutely painful, two doses later it was gone. Just plan to have some free time before taking it, it works fast
Not true. It takes more time than that and is increasingly painful to the point where it's unbearable for most people before it comes to that. It's still nothing to worry about unless there are other symptoms he didnt tell us about. t. a physician that shits every 3-4 days
Lincoln Kelly
>a year later he makes a thread asking if he needs a surgery for his gyno
Christopher Nguyen
Nah, everything from a few times a day until once a week is fine, provided you feel good regardless.
You could try a tablespoon of castor oil. It's a better laxative than pills.
Or apple juice. Lots of apple juice.
Isaac Bell
papaya is your little friend
Jackson King
flax lowers test unfortunately
Thomas Torres
OP here alright I got these and took one, buckling up RN for my first laxative rollercoaster
start fasting makes no sense to keep adding more food on top it
Nathaniel Foster
There's tea you could've drunk that would've kicked in approx 1 hour senpai.
Hudson Rivera
>ISIS converting Get the fuck out cancer you dont belong
Hunter Myers
squat near the ground and try shitting, normal toilets arent very good for your colon and digestive system, or hop on the toilet and squat
Camden Peterson
Coffee with a dab of coconut oil inside. Dates (works better and tastes better than prunes)
Landon Sullivan
Fruits help- pineapple, papaya especially. Ginger pills after every meal helps with digestion. Also, probiotics. Good belly sells probiotic shots with no added sugar. Shoot one down every morning when ur constipated.
Gavin Bennett
you seem to have gotten lost is reddit the website you were looking for? it's ok, these things happen to everyone, now that you know, you can go home back to your people
Zachary Howard
Drink some coffee and let nature take its course.
Jose Flores
Keep us updated on your progress with new pics or vid clips. Thanks for the motivation.
Nathan Harris
Do you do any kind of exercise OP? I had the same problem when i wasn't doing exercise, i started going on a 10 min run every other day and recovered from it.
Michael Reyes
Chia for Men Flax for Women
Grayson Stewart
Greek yogurt causes constipation 100% cut that shit out and I guess just eat burritos only and keep drinking a lot of water.
Noah Lopez
Bumping for the tale of this impending ubershit.
Thomas Wright
Spending my Wednesday evening waiting for a guy to take a shit.
Blake Perez
You should've bought a bag of those infamous sugarless gummy bear from amazon
I had problems with that as a kid because I was super stressed out and it went away as I got older. Haven’t had any issues with it in the better part of a decade.
That being said if you want to skip the laxatives and Dr visits, just go get the grossest, greasiest fast food you can buy and stuff yourself with it. But like $15 worth of Taco Bell or McDonalds and it will fuck your system up and send you sprinting to the shitter.
Good luck OP
Samuel Butler
I second chia. It swell ups in water like flax, but is much tastier and I find less harsh on the gut. At least in my experience whole or coarsely ground flax seeds I think gave me haemmorhoids - could have been coincidence but I don't want to try another n=1 just in case.. I have no idea either of them help with constipation, but chia is nice on the gut in my experience at least.
Grayson Bennett
I didn't take a shit for near two weeks once. It was horrible and I incredibly painful towards the end. I tried everything, but it was an enema that finally got the job done. When it finally worked I shat more that I've ever shat before.
Jackson Ortiz
It could be that actually. Casein is somewhat constipating, as it forms a curd in the digestive tract so to digest slowly for the calves that normally eat it, which is why a lot of people get constipated from cheese. Greek yoghurt is drained of the whey like cheese is, concentrating the casein. Some people react more than others of course.
It contains phytoestrogens, but I don't know of any actual evidence it lowers test. Anyone can pitch in with some evidence?
Brandon Howard
Pls respond OP this is breaking news
Dylan Bennett
If you guys are looking for shit stories just search “Norman khan” on desuarchive
There’s about two years worth
Nathan Edwards
I was hoping for comedy instead I got some batshit insane scat fetishist shitposting
Leo Rogers
Just chug coffee until you start shaking.
Parker Phillips
How’s that not funny?
Ethan Stewart
phytoestrogens are about as potent as test boosters, that is to say, they don't do shit.
James Morris
I can never shit when I travel. This february was my record, I went to Indonesia and I didn't shit for 8 days. I've gone for 5-7 days without shitting multiple times before that. I didn't die from it, I didn't get sick, it didn't hurt, nothing. I was completely fine and I enjoyed my trip.
So don't panic, 4 days without taking a shit isn't gonna kill you. It will come.
Tyler Morgan
Since when is batshit insane scat fetishist shitposting not comedy?
Ian Clark
Stream the audio when you finally drop that shit. It should be hilarious (for us, not you)
Anthony Murphy
>Top 2 questions are about if they have the same effect as the Haribo's
Phyroestrogens don't have any noticeable effect on humans that we know of. There is no meaningful data that suggests it in either direction currently. The most we can see is that it may have a very slight benefit in fighting breast cancer, and even that is disputed.
Parker Miller
enjoy giving birth to a pringle tin
Connor Mitchell
I know Jow Forums hates fruit but it's the best to help you poop. Papaya, mango and dragon fruit are your best option.
Andrew Cooper
OP, i've dealt with chronic constipation since i was a fucking kid. I am a man who knows his shit. It wasnt unusual for me to be backed up for 2 weeks. Its fucking agony.
Here's what you do. It could be comorbid of another health issue, but im not gonna elaborate on it.
>Drink fucktons of water >Take one dose of miralax in the morning with black coffee >Stay on a high fat, low fiber diet >Sugar seems to fuck things up for me, so avoid it >Get some magnesium citrate supplements, take 400mg daily >Use bisacodyl very sparingly >If that fails after a few days, use a glycerin enema
For all you fags who are gonna say "JuSt EaT MoRe FiBeR", it is counterproductive in an already constipated persons. It creates unnecessary bulk that will make it even harder to shit for someone with low bowel motility.
This thread has me on the edge of the seat. No pun intended. We are on course for legendary thread status.
Caleb Wright
There better be an update when I log back on tomorrow. Good night, friends.
Easton Lee
Had this once altough not 4 days, around 2, 3. Go buy alot of milk products and pears. I just chugged half a carton of milk and ate around 4 pears. If this is not an option or does not work buy laxetives. Those wand type things that you shove up your ass usually makes u shit within a couple of minutes. 4 days of not shitting, its gonna tear up your ass quiet a bit and start bleeding
Kevin Miller
based residentmedfag
Jason Moore
Damn I was never a big fan of fruit but I sure miss mangoes Had a banana for the first time in years it was glorious will go for more when I’m no longer fat
Liam Miller
That thing is gonna crawl out of you and walk on 2 legs.
Luis Lopez
>I mostly eat lentils, tomatoes, onions, potatoes, greek yoghurt, chicken, and hummus what the FUCK, help this retard out, anyone have stories? ahahhahahaha
that's what you get for not eating a carnivore diet
Oliver Hall
Took three bisacodyl pills and nothing happened one time. Should I be concerenee
Benjamin Bennett
Actually, he should eat plenty of ridiculously fibrous plants, WITH NO WATER.
Ethan Gray
I usually take a shit once or twice a week. I thought it was normal... is it not? I don't have a gall bladder so idk if that matters.
Christopher Rogers
It's been over 8 hours, RIP OP
Sebastian Moore
He shit his entire digestive system out through his ass as soon as he sat down.
Adrian Baker
instead of taking a shit the shit took him rip rest in poop
>ISIS-converting farts Wait does this mean your farts are strong enough that a regular person would declare jihad, or that they're rancid enough that if an ISIS militant smells them it'll make them realize Allah either isn't real or is actively evil?
Or c) It's so toxic it forcibly drives people from their homes, creating resentment and anger that can be used by radicals to manipulate them into fighting a war against you under the guise of it being god's will
Asher Reed
>extra strength oh no no etc
those are for people who have built up a tolerance, user
Jose Bell
I love bananas but they give me heartburn
Logan Cook
This. Since i started drinking magnesium i poop once or twice everyday, solid shits. I consume magnesium chloride.
Aaron Sanders
the high fat part is where a lot of people fuck up. You need good fats in your diet for smooth shits.
Noah Rodriguez
Magnesium hydroxide is a laxative. You should not take it every day or you may develop a dependence on it.
Landon Ramirez
colon cáncer
RIP OP
Parker Walker
So this is how the user dies. Strap the fuck in lads, we're getting us a fresh shitting greentext soon.
