ITT: Autistic shit you do

>randomly practice barbell row form around the house
>imagine me training in a spaceship so I get stronger to fight aliens
>think about how we will lose if I don't do the last rep

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>impulsively flex pecs and lats everywhere
>stomach vacuums after eating
>pretend other people in the gym will judge me if I fail before I reach my desired number of reps

>stomach vacuums after eating
Doesn't sound good or healthy at all lad

I'm not going full vacuum - just contracting the muscles you'd use to achieve a full vacuum.

i do weighted dips in my home gym

Compulsively flex different muscles by group whenever I'm waiting around, including in public. People definitely notice and think I'm fucking insane.

Sal is the best Joker. Don’t @ me

>listen to cool songs and imagine that i made them 10 years ago and am showing the cool song to all the kids in school that thought i was a loser

I'm going to do this now.

>the life and safety of me and my family is depending on that one last rep
>Miring my naked self in front of my bedroom mirror imagining sucking myself off and getting super turned on by it, after that doing chores around the house with a solid hard-on
>Screaming/practicing talking in my car prior to any social contact to "warm up" my voice because i have not talked all day, especially before saying hi to the cute female receptionist at the gym

>>Screaming/practicing talking in my car prior to any social contact to "warm up" my voice because i have not talked all day, especially before saying hi to the cute female receptionist at the gym

Are you me?

this is really sad lol

Not use the lockers. Change in a single shower stall. Carry bag around because I don’t trust anyone not to nick from it (this has happened once before, never again) Don’t bother showering and just go straight home to clean up.

I do calf extensions on the top of my staircase when I know its safer to.do them at the bottom

Think about sex things while I’m in the hardest, most intense parts of the work out

>alright Sal now stick that tire around your body and start screaming "I am a tired baby wahh wahh at the focus group haha"

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My workout routines take a long ass time because there’s fuckall for me to do outside of the gym as a NEET

Practice my squat form during day to day life
>Talking to mother and wife
>Suddenly feel the urge to practice my squat
>Squat down slowly and then come back up
>"user, what are you doing? Stop being weird"

When I get tired during my running session I imagine a bear or a leopard chasing me

I thought I was the only one who did this. Except I pretend my coworkers and former classmates in college are listening to it without me being there.

Fugg, that last one hits home.
Getting a boner from imagining to suck yourself off is pretty homo, though. My limit is fapping while looking at my reflection.

>>impulsively flex pecs and lats everywhere
I also do this. I feel like it helps my posture

>Impulsively going for a shit before a new squat PR
>Walking past guys in the mirror while pretending to be just pacing, I'm actually comparing myself
>Waiting an extra 30seconds for the Qt to finish her set so she's free to watch me pull a new deadlift.
>When I need to let one rip I'll walk over to the dumbbell lads, silently push it out and walk off again.

Listen to Russian choir music when breaking my PR

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Before my last rep, I yell: "one mooore" like Robert Plant in whole lotta love. Luckily I work out when nobody is around.

Ffs i do this, kill me