Anyway, hows your sex life Jow Forums?

20yr old virgin, joining military soon so doubt it'll get any better
welp.

I’ve been slowly adding in playing with my girls asshole (tapping a finger on it). I want to fuck her ass, any tips? She says my cock is too big but she may be just feeding my ego.

Based and BRAPpilled

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ITT: things that never happened

cope

thinking about getting me some asian hooker tomorrow

i like me some asian hookers

How did you make it?

A WHAT LIFE?

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Literally just asked a girl out and she said yes and now I have a gf. When you have a house and a car it becomes easy.

I am 29 and I had to resort to giving my V-card to a hooker. I am an aging high school teacher with mental problems so I am not especially desirable. No car, renting

You may have to lower your standards a bit but have you tried asking? I kind of got lucky in that the girl I asked out literally just broke up with her ex.

Jesus fucking christ. That's legit disgusting

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I am seeing a girl: no sex, just dating, talking. I am afraid she's out of my league. My self-esteem is all over the place. I've been friendzoned in the past (got out of it luckily but not without a scar) and I am scared I going to become "just a friend" again

I know it’s hard but let her know your intent early on. Touch her often. If she’s sexually attracted to you she’ll reciprocate, if not drop her like a bad habit.

I've been into eating the booty like groceries
but it's hard to find the right time between her showering and taking a massive dump

Im still a khv you jerk. Go suck Johnny's hairy cock you fucking closeted faggot.

Thank you for the advice! I'll try my best to follow. I am not even a shy person. I am confident and decent (or at least average) looking, it's just I am at the point where I have very slight idea about what I am doing and where I am going - despite going in that direction past 10 or so years. It does affect my actions and judgement. I guess that's what they call a mid-life crisis.

I'm 31 and haven't had sex in almost 4 years.

This week I want to ask out a qt coworker I've been flirting with. I hope she doesn't smell out my desperation.

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don't shit where you eat bro

>BRAPpilled
>mfw reading this

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my nigga

>mfw a BRAPpill is actually a small turd nugget

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No really. what's the secret?

She works in another office room in the same building. Same company, but we don't see each-other outside of lunch. I don't give a fuck, it's not like dating a non-coworker is drama-free.

She knows and don't fuck co workers.
Only solution is to fuck someone as desperate and you'll get rid of yours.

>got kicked out of my old apartment because it was a student apartment and apparently being a PhD student does not count as student
>had to move in back with my parents
>at 28
>looked for an apartment for 4 fucking months, couldn't even get the worst shitheaps
>PhD studies will go on for a whole additional year
>basically locked out of dating for that time because the moment any girl hears you live at home at 28 she evaporates into thin air

Sex life is a rather fancy term for staring at woman in the bus. Could be worse though.

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Just be yourself

I don't even know any woman I would want to be with. Had to move twice in the recent past so I have zero friends at the moment, all I do is go to work, do sport basically every day of the week and then do the household chores on the weekend.

If I actually had social contacts it probably wouldn't be all that hard, but people don't care much about making new friends at my age anymore. They already have enough.

P good railed my wife last night
Yourself?

Pretty good, I get it about 5 times a week.

based and red pilled

cringe and blue pilled

i haven't had sex in two years desu and i look better than i did back then, it's just incel mentality

my what?

Very good. I finally found a petite 100 pound chick that I can fuck without having to stop every 5 seconds. She won't let me cuff her.

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I'm a serial rapist

aka lil lumps of brown sugar

Same. Also railed your wife last night.

I’ve concluded that I’m really not into sex itself that much. Sure it’s enjoyable but I crave romance and connecting with a girl so much more. It sucks because when you’re in good shape, girls generally assume that you’re good in bed and enjoy being rough and dominant.

My sex life (and 90% of my social life) basically consists of trying to bang my ex who I dumped before she gets bored of me and starts exclusively banging other guys. She seems pretty uninterested now, but if I can get her to come to my place for the weekend then I can really put on a good show and keep this thing going.

can you repeat the question

I did not fuck her, I did not

Peep Show bro

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Convince her to try a small butt plug/toy. Then gradually go bigger

>even if you aren't bad they are still disappointed because it's not what they expected
JUST

same
how do I find women that are attractive? I could work my way up to asking someone out, I was on my way with this one girl but found out she was in a relationship and too young, but I'm hardly attracted to anyone these days

how big is your cock

I have sex with my bf, but it's getting boring, and honestly, sometimes I prefer to jerk off to porn.

8.5 inches bone pressed, 6.5 inch girth

bait

Exact same position as you, user.
What branch?

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I feel you 100% bro. Every time I do hook up they realize I’m not into rough sex like choking and spanking. How the fuck do I find a vanilla girl?

I don’t know if she’d think it was weird I bought or owned a butt plug?

How do I meet girls Jow Forums? I was planning to go to the fall Greek welcome at my school and to join a bunch of athletic clubs. Thing is I've found girls like a guy you actually has some grit. How to I develop that and stop coming off as harmless?

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What are you talking about? Everyone on this board is a fresh out of college engineer making 500K with a porn star cock. Duh.

You have to get over the fear of rejection and be a bit sexually suggestive/flirty instead of just friendly/jokey.

I will loose my virginity in 17 days

Thanks user for the response. I was worried about getting a vague one but that's really clear. Is it all practice or are there things I should read on the topic?

that's a guy

I’m sure there’s any number of men’s advice sites that offer tips on how to escalate with girls which would help. Of course getting out there and actually doing it is the hard part.

How is 8.5 inches bone pressed abnormal? It’s a bit larger than average.

Are you black?

From the movie called Death in Venice

I know, I just like seeing how many anons mistake him for a girl

I unironically think my gf is about to become a pornstar or begin prostituting herself or something
Literally all I know i shes had several phone interviews with an "agency" and she leaves whenever I walk in the room

>How is 8.5 inches bone pressed abnormal? It’s a bit larger than average.
The average is like 5.5.
8.5 is longer than 99% of dicks in the actual real world. You're either baiting, unusually blessed or measuring incorrectly.

Okay, thanks user, I'll get out there. I've found that following my instincts generally worked out well. I think a lot of awkwardness in people comes from them thinking about their actions too much and then acting out those actions in a way that in comes off as insincere.

inb4 you see her at Girls Do Porn

>do you have a boyfriend back home
>yes
>does he know you're here doing this
>nope tee hee

Man my psyche is fucked enough without you reminding me of that shit

turns out I like sticking metal rods in my peehole

last fuck was a drunk hookup on new years, didn't even cum
moved town after
all my social contacts are either men in relationships or close colleagues
masturbating to my gym crush who ignored me trying to establish eye contact

it's a lonely life brehs, 2018 has been a dud so far

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I have a crush on a girl I've been friends with since middle . She knows it I'm sure, it just doesn't happen because my life's a mess and she can do better. I really think she would give me a shot if I stopped being such a fuckup, we have nice conversations and I make her laugh. She's a big part of my motivation

Checked

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The average is 5.5 non bone pressed dicklet

Bone pressed us such a meme that gives you at least .5 to 1 inches regardless of how low bf you are

if you really can't trust her, dump her

No, you're an idiot. All studies are done bone-pressed.

>dicklet
I'm actually in the top 5%, so I'm happy with it