Come my son, confess your fitness sins

I can't stop picking these scabs on my ass cheeks. They keep bleeding and re-scabbing over and I keep picking them. My ass cheeks look like they've been blasted by shrapnel.

I'm dating a girl 7 years younger (I'm 27).
My ex who I'm still close friends with got to meet her and she seemed distraught.
I'm not sure if such a large age gap would be bad for a long term partner.

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ummm... *snap* you don't mind if i put this in my comp do you? Ill be sure to keep your name anonymous. Don't worry

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holy fuck dude get a prescription that stops the itching before you look like a war verteran

bro literally me. she's 22 but why the fuck is 7 years such a big deal when we're both in our twenties and women like older men anyway

Buy some pre workout and drink some then you’ll be forced to go

Might as well confess, it’s been eating me up.

>at the pool during the late shift (around 2 am- it’s 24 hour pool) and there’s no one around so I’m swimming in my clothes.
>at this point I even have my socks and shoes on
Thing is it’s survival training, for if I was on a ship and fell overboard in my clothes I need STAMINA to survive until landfall.

>now it’s a pretty big pool and I’m dead in the centre, paddling about yelling “don’t leave me”
>if I do this then my lung will expand as well so when the ship goes I have more STAMINA

>retarted employee walks past and sees me ‘drowing’ and jumps on to save me
>now obviously this wouldn’t happen s I resist her attempts to pull me from the water.
>elbow in the face worked well

>water turns red, great, now sharks could come. Notice I’m fucked becoaise no amount of STAMINA could let me punch a shark.

>hip out of pool and tell the staff that it’s ruined, she’s crying and bleeding at the nose.

As if it couldn’t get more worse, a family of 6 turn up, man, woman and three kids from 17 down to 3.
>they saw the whole thing, eventually gets security into me.

Guys, I think I t the same city way but too lazy to do the work said it is not a problem.

I haven't actually lifted anything since I realized my apartment's gym doesn't really have anything to go with a SS routine and trying to do it with dumbbells isn't working

>women like older men anyway
Not really, most women date within their age/social group, at least from what I've seen.

At gym the other day and a high school coupe comes in
She’s maybe 16 and he’s 18
>now at first they stretch but go their seperate ways, him to the treadmill and her to the boxing bags

>seeing an opportunity I walk up to her and tell her that the bags don’t imitate real people, they swing too much ect. So I offer her to punch me

>call over a gym staff to verify o won’t sue her for assault, o won’t
So she swings at my guts, it doesn’t hurt too much so I tell her to do it again.

>this happens but it doesn’t hurt anymore.
So I don’t can get them you it will probably get better and I better start.

>”user, what the fuck” oh shit, it’s my boss, ow the thin*is I’ve been trying to punch my boss for some time now and I was hoping that this would work out better for all nvolved.

Sadly I don’t have time to explain because it will be happening soon, I am unfortunately I have had to do this and I won’t be back for dinner.

i haven't bench pressed in 2 months

Please forgive me father, for I broke 4 weeks+ of NoFap today. I gave into the natural man and sinned.

On a brighter note, now I'm going to aim for 8 weeks of NoFap.

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I skip leg day and it shows.

what

I have a lot of muscle mass but don’t have the discipline to cut weight so my muscle shows so now I’m stuck looking like a dyel

>accidentally
Did you trip and fall with your mouth open into a pile of taco bell?
Take some fucking responsibility for your actions

Wew lad

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Pic related is the only type of stuff that turns me on

>tfw no belly gf

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I haven't lifted in a week due to air quality in my area, it's been pretty hazardous.
I've tried to solve this by doing 10 sets of 50 pushups, situps, prisoner squats, and 3x8 planche pushups.

>be me, hate carrying change
>Water at gym cost 50cents
>Hide quarters all around the gym for later water use
>Under scales
>Under pink foo-foo dumb bells
>Under the cable machine
>Sometimes people find my hidden quarters
>Gotta ask people to move sometimes to retrieve my hidden quarters
>Atleast I don't have to carry fucking change

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Moron

You only need 1 or 2 dead drops at most
Now you are loosing gains from all the cardionback msg forum

Cardio run back and forth

I’ve been working out for years now but I’ve never touched the bench and now I’m afraid to try

Anytime somebody asks what my max bench is I just lie and make up a number

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I skip leg day and usually just do bodyweight squats at my dorm due to how low my squat is compared to my size and other lifts. I instead just OHP MWF, bench MF, and incline bench W while doing rows, pullups, and curls, MWF

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After cardio day I do planks and I don’t wipe the sweat from the mat once I’m done. Just thought of it today actually and I’m going to start doing it from now on but people think I’m gross already

Today I had a cheat meal of shrimp and fries

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I'm 26 dating an 18 year old. Feels great breh. Do you love her? Does she love you? That's what matters.

Of course that's generally the case, but there are enough instances of women dating older men for it to be relatively common. hell my mom is six years younger than my dad was

Bench now.

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I’m 18 and dating an 11 year old bro it ain’t weird or nothin just be urself

PMOd 3 days in a row, also changed novice program to something else for the 3rd time. Kept the weight on the main lifts but still.

I-I didn't tip the gym receptionist

I just didn't have any cash on me and hadn't had chance to go the bank. I promise I'll tip double tonight

Hahahahaha look at this nigga, he’s fucking autistic

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I'll skip workouts for whole next week because I'm getting tattoo

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I'm obsessed about peanut butter.

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Have been eating like complete shit this entire week and haven't worked out at all.

Gonna get back into it first thing tomorrow morning though.

I've completely skipped cardio 4 days in a row and just done lifts and calisthenics. Feels fat, is this how you SS fat fucks feel?

>calisthenics
So you did your cardio, your sins are forgiven fucking twink

I cheat my bench press so I can bench bigger pl8s.

>fat fuck "powerlifter" thinks the slightly elevated heart-rate from push-ups, sit-ups and pull-ups counts as cardio.

I skipped 5 days of gym due to a kidney stone and barely ate too in those 5 days

Ive been overeating every single damn day the last two weeks. Kill me.

I stopped Deadlifting and Squating months ago.
I have no regrets.

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I have been eating vegan chicken nuggets and sliced white bread for the past 4 days, nothing else.

I bought dnp. Gonna roid afterwards, and go to a manowar concert in April.

Pic related

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I don´t do any kind of fitness

I haven't lifted this week because my back is a little sore.

Im on a cheat week

I really don't know how to have or make friends!

I'm not overweight, I live in the countryside
I look after my animals and I help my parents whenever they need help. I have a job

I love the gym, but crikey 24 years of existence and I know I missing out on something

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I fucked my sleep rythm on the weekend and didnt go to the gym for the past two days

>anhero

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Possibly the most autistic thing I've read all day

I have no desire to get a girlfriend or to lose my virginity. I've been like this for as far back as I remember, even before I knew of any cute anime girls.
What's wrong with me?

holy shit, i need more of your life stories. Please user give me more

I lift for my tulpa.

Yesterday I was up late and I really wanted food, normally i 16/8 fast but I went downstairs and had froot loops and a bagel

This is the first time this has happened in a while and I still only went about 100 calories over my TDEE (i'm on a cut) but I feel like shit for doing it and i'm aiming for 1000 calorie deficit today to make up for what happened last night

>me a year ago
when i got back into it my diddies were higher than they previously were and after 2 months of strengrh training my 1rm was 100lb higher than where i left off

I've been missing a workout here and there to stay at home and play the newest WoW xpac.

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I have been eating healthy and worked hard almost every day of the week for months now, seen absolutely amazing results and lost 37 kg since i started less than half a year ago. But altough i am still fat i have allowed myself to binge 3 times now in the span of 2 months, yesterday and today i ate an entire cheesecake, a fuckton of sandwiches and a bag of chocolate candy. I feel regret and like shit now, id wave it off if it was a one time thing but now 3 times in a short timespan.... i am fucking up everything.

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I'm almost 25, and I just want a fit, total bottom gymbro who's masculine and enjoys lifting. Why is this so hard? No homo. Do I just try and find a girl instead?

I did cardio. Forgive me father

uh, what?

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With the wow expansion that just launched I ate two dominos pizzas over the course of a day and a half while drinking a lot of coffee and monster.

Now my eyes hurt.

I’ve been doing a brosplit for three years and didn’t even know it

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People still play WoW? Everyone I know that still played it quit 2014

u wot m8

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If you are both at a good maturity level it dosnt matter unless you go into pedo territory.

Acceptable excuse

I'm actually wasting some precious workposting minutes trying to rationalize this, so I got the following:
>young couple arrives at the gym and the girl goes to the boxing bags
>she punches as if the bags were a real person
>you white knight and offer yourself to be punched since punching a bag feels very different than punching a real person so she can improve at punching other people
>call gym staff to make an agreement that you won't sue her for punching you
>she throwns some weak punches at you
>you comfort her saying that she will get better at it
So far so good, I just have no idea what you meant in the end, did her boss arrive there? Was she practicing to punch him and he realized that? And what will happen soon? Will she punch him?

I hate tattoos to the core of my soul but I have a fetish of fucking a heavily tattooed girl, accidently found out about an escort just like that in a nearby town, saw her pics, broke my no-fap streak and I'm currently planning to meet her next month. If I had not spent so much money this month with my car, gym and supplements I would have done that already, halp guys

I had mononucleosis last year, had to lie for over a week in bed and eat basically nothing but vegetables for a month. I lost around 7kg.

Now I am bigger than ever. You will get it all back user, don't worry.

You need to talk to actual people, ,,normies", if you will. The more time you spend with productive members of society, the better for you in the long run as well.

I have been away from the gym since June 2017 due to posture problems that were screwing up my joints, so I could not lift.

Now over a year later I am finally almost there, finally almost free from the all the pain and disconfort. Soon I will take my rightful place at the gym, muscle memory will take its toll and then I will get into the best shape I have ever been.

Today is also my first day browsing Jow Forums in over a year as well, good to be back, never change fit.

why?

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I had good self control and was sleeping a lot, masturbating once a week max, focused on my studies etc.
I met a girl; now I'm staying up late, want to get a nut off all the time, I don't pay attention in lectures. I used to think I had self discipline, turns out I just didn't have a good enough distraction. Can I go back?

Don’t be a bitch

Based, fuck change and keep up my good man

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I did one set of deadlifts about a week ago and I bet my personal record without breaking a sweat, but it just really fucks my back that it's not worth it.
But I guess it confirms that if I can make gains on a lift I don't do, then the other lifts are certainly doing something.

Every night before bed, I melt a jar of nutella in the microwave and drink it.

Probably fucks your back because you're going straight to above your max with no warmup

I've always done 3 warmup sets before doing my working set.
I'd end up killing myself if I tried DLíng without any warmups.

I stopped training legs a full year ago

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This

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been 6 months since I last went to the gym, or even worked out. I lied to myself, said I was just taking a break while a settled into my new job, then that I was moving out soon so it wouldn't make sense to buy a membership. But with my move almost complete, and my job about to change, I realise I've been lazy. Carrying the recycling bin from the bar to the dumpster 2-3 times a day, taking stairs 3 at a time, walking an extra busstop. They don't make up for my sloth.

How tf are you doing 3 warmup sets and a PR beating working set without sweating?

I haven't made any fitness gains for at least a month I don't think, I haven't been taking my protein shakes regularly and I feel like giving up some days

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Because my Deadlift is literally garbage.
Plus I don't really sweat, I'm mainly comparing it to when I used to do deadlifts and I would literally be dead for a minutes after my last working set.

>My ex who I'm still close friends with got to meet her and she seemed distraught.
Women have fragile egos, News at 11. What they really can't take is realizing that they're totally fungible and there's always a younger/hotter version of whatever they have to offer.

What weight for how many reps? I am 50-50 on sweating doing other exercises but deadlift is a 100% for me