I was raised without a present father, as a result, I'm more sensitive than other men...

You cant. If you havent developed a thick skin by age 18 then theres no hope and you will forever be a manbaby. Theres nothing that can fill the hole of an absent father. My dad was useless to me as a kid so I know how it is. Best you can do is just keep lifting and try to be the man your father was supposed to be, to your family and yourself.

hmmm, I like being sensitive, I like having certain feminine traits, I think they can be a positive, problem is I don't like being too sensitive.

I don't want to turn into a jock willink, but I want to be less sensitive, to turn off my flight response as well.

you sound like a woman not going to a gym at all becouse she doesn't want to get too muscular

lol...i think you're just being a little bitch bro. My dad ran away and it doesn't phase me

I guess, but that's my intent.

How to stop being little bitch?

Go full bore and take cock up your ass, you sissy faggot.

sounds pretty good to me my dude. what's the problem?

Ok you are hopeless. Become a trap or kill yourself or preferably both.

Just get less shitty friends. Stop hanging out with stupid assholes in their 20s. A real man shows respect and compassion, and works to bring his friends up rather than knock them down.

My father was present, but I was the same bitch like you when I was 18. I lived through some redpills (regarding people, women, but mostly me) and experiences since then and they hardened me and made me tougher. I'm still only 21 now, but things that helped me most were working on being financially independent and stepping out of my comfort zone. Lot of my sensitivity came from caring about what my friends and mainly my parents think. Being financially independent gives you freedom.

I know what you're on about. Noble qualities require some degree of sensitivity. What helps is being more aggressive and competitive.

You can be sensitive in certain situations, Death, childbirth etc. But to enjoy it weakens your resolve and worth as a man. Theres no such thing as turning off your flight response, even fighters have that dont be an idiot. But if you want to continue living this way, women will not even look at you. Women want a MAN not another woman to be with them. Read the 50th law for some personality building advice.

>hmmm, I like being sensitive, I like having certain feminine traits
Sounds like bait. That or you're a trap

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I think having a balance is much better than being extreme in one way or another.

Yeah exactly.

Thanks for this

>Being financially independent gives you freedom.

I think I'm going to focus on this the most.

It's not bullying, just throw some bants back at them. If they hit you back with stronger bants and you can't make up a comeback, it's fine to laugh it off at that point.

Find a good father figure. my dad died when I was young, so I would look for decent men in my field of work to act as mentors. I found a few great old timers and learned a lot from them. It opens a lot of doors for you in the future.

How old are you OP?

Probably not exactly same case, but I also was raised without a father. He died when I was 3 and my mother has never had a couple since then.

I was childish for long time, as result of being over sheltered, but around 20 I becamed very self-sufficient.

So I'm like the opposite, I guess it's because growing up knowing people dies, and as I didn't met my father there is no loss feeling.

If you think you are sensitive because that's what you receive from your environment, just try not to fall in emotional blackmails.

You know this might be a good fucking idea.

Turned 21 last month, still feel somewhat like a teenager, I've lived on my own, had jobs, supported myself etc, but I still feel like a kid, I don't feel like a man yet, I don't know how to properly explain it in English, I guess we don't have a ritual into adulthood where I am from. I really want to start being more of an adult.
Sorry for bad English.

bump

I'm happy that I could motivate you bros. What also helped me was separating said sensitivity and my personality. There's is nothing wrong with having empathy and certain personality traits, but sometimes the line gets blurry and you think all the other bad qualities are part of your personality. You shouldn't try to change your personality, because that's what you are and you end up splitted and unhappy. Cherish your personality, but get rid of that sensitive basedboy bullshit. Hope that makes sense

What is what you expect from becoming a man? Being a man like a normie man?

When I was a child I tried to be a normie until I realized that I better start to do what I already enjoyed than to do what normies enjoy.

It's funny because my family is in fact a matriarch (although my mother is not specially feminist), but I have grown seeing that my mother took care of me because she was in charge of the family, not becuase women has that role in families and men have others. I detect gender discriminations much more easily than people around me, and to be honest, the phrase "to be a man" sound so conservative foul (as "to ne a woman") to me.

Do you want to feel more man or feel more adult? Do you feel like you should be taking more responsibilities by your age?

I saw my father like 2 times in my whole life but I'm the exact opposite. Socipath with limited emotions.

watch a bunch of jordan peterson and jocko willink videos like everyone else with daddy issues

I was raised with a father who was a drunk and he was always present. I don't think you can really win with dads unless you have a dad who's a good guy. Sometimes people tell me fond stories of their father and I'm blown away that people like their father.

I swear Pajeets are the cause of all the Jow Forums bullshit plaguing this board

MODSS

>the absent father meme

It’s literally irrelevant, it does nothing. So long that you grew up in a first world country with enough money for everything you are blessed and set up for success. Anything that goes wrong is on you.

Being sensitive can make you more of a hardass in the long run if it doesn't break you now. Pain hits you harder, but pain also develops people.

Hello me. I'm fine with banter, though.

>I think having a balance is much better than being extreme in one way or another.

then go and cut off your balls in order to become an androgynous blob of "balance" you tremendous homolord

Being unfeeling isn't even a masculine characteristic outside your hometown crack trailer. In fact I'd argue that heightened senses would actually bolster testosterone induced traits.

Insecure faggots detected.

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>My father had me cheating on his wife, never met him
I am in my mid 20's and am always seeing more and more how having no father figure present fucked me up.
I too feel more sensitive and feminine then other guys in many ways. I doubt there is a way to fix it, you just have to pretend to be tough. I studied engineering because it seemed like the masculine academic field to get into, trained my body in order to not look weak (always sucked at sports) and got really into cars.
I don't really have any good advice for you though, you just need to try to be tough and build your skills.

Shut the fuck up and refer to Seriously, people over estimate this way too much. And then they victimize themselves acting as if their flaws and short comings are not on themselves but something they had no control of.

Fix the shit that you don’t like about yourself, don’t blame it on something irrelevant. That won’t get you anywhere, really

Who hurt you?

Where would one even find a good father figure? The closest I have come are some university professors and that feels pretty pathetic.

only talk when you have something of value to say.

Masculine and feminine traits are not in contradiction to each other. They’re complementarian.
You don’t need to lose the ability to be sensitive, you need to expand your ability in the opposite direction too. Learn how to harden yourself when needed.
Mastering both in their proper contexts is an art, and makes you a better man overall.
Take Lancelot in Morte D’Arthur
>"Thou were the meekest man that ever ate in hall among ladies; and thou wert the sternest knight to thy mortal foe that ever put spear in the rest."
I like pic related’s description:
>The important thing about this ideal is, of course, the double demand it makes on human nature. The knight is a man of blood and iron, a man familiar with the sight of smashed faces and the ragged stumps of lopped-off limbs; he is also a demure, almost maidenlike, guest in a hall, a gentle, modest, unobtrusive man. He is not compromise or happy mean between ferocity and meekness; he is fierce to the nth and meek to the nth

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Elaborate

I had no a father figure, and never looked for one. It's kind of freedom feeling.
I act the best I can and not because I learnt something the only way I could.
When I read or heard someone starting an argument with "when I was a child I learned that" I know that argument is bullshit.

this
Most fathers suck anyway, I mean look around - how many of the people you know have a true, meaningful relation to their father? Like noone

The military. It's not a 'good' idea, but it's the only place where you'll live under the mentorship of experienced and hypermasculine men who have the authority to guide you. And even then, they aren't all good role models. Many are low-t compensators who get cheated on like there's no tomorrow.

Not sure if trolling but totally disagree.

I was an absolute pussy until I was 22. I was fed up of being the weak one, the friend zoned and being timid of confrontation. I changed. It was hard, it really took me out my comfort zone and I almost gave up. I went to the gym and got strong as fuck, I got injured a couple times and suffered setbacks but I carried on. About a year later when I was finally 'strong' I joined a boxing club. I've never been in a fight in my life at this point, and the first couple of months was the best thing that ever happened to me. I got the living shit kicked out of me - I lost, alot, sometimes to guys weaker and smaller than me. But I didn't give in, I eventually won my first spar and have boxed in a few amateur comps. I've won some, lost some, but it sorted out my fear of confrontation. I am now more confident than ever and have no fear in standing my ground. I then decided to get some responsibility, started studying again and pursued a meaningful career and got my ass off the slave wage.

I'm now 26 with a decentish house, a pretty fit gf who looks after me, I'm now known as the 'big guy' in all my social circles and I no longer give a fuck about what people think of me. I feel more like a man now than i ever have. People who knew me as a 'nice guy' or 'sensitive' are so impressed with my transformation.

Sensitivity has its place for sure, in moments, we all have feelings, but being a wet blanket and de-masclinated is a tragic development of the modern man. It's never too late to change, but it's uncomfortable as fuck.

No offence to any military brahs, but a lot of dorks from my high school went into the military, and they're still massive dweebs after being in the service for a decade now. I personally like them as people, but they're the same anime watching guys they were before they joined. They were just young enough to miss both the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, I feel like guys who have seen actually combat may be different, but I don't know any.

yea I've been listening to Jordan Peterson and I want to meet my father
fuck it why not?
maybe he has tons of other bastards. I'm pretty sure I was the first though.

>implying tough men aren't killed in the military

In my experience the only reason someone hates banter is because they're shit at it

dude I was similar until I was 19. I was still gay as fuck but I returned to score some Vagina yk.
I went full homo at 21 since the girl was very temporary.
I might get into kick boxing or something, sounds fun.

almost trips
yea but this is a self-help oriented board so maybe we should consider ways to compensate for missing dads.fpbp

Militaryfag here.

This wont completely masculate you. It will make you act like an adult... but only when you have to. You wont be a "manly man" just from joining. Unless you go spec ops or some shit.

That's not fucking true at all. Spoken like someone who has no fucking clue what military life is like. Stop giving opinions about military if you aren't even in it. Only about 10% of the jobs in the military are combat related, and only about 2% of the military ever sees combat. We aren't all backflipping off tanks while duelwielding machine guns, bro. I've been in for 7 years - if I ever have to hold a gun, America is already fucked.

T. Has never been in a sub before

Spending time with other males could be a start - army or sports or college frats would be a place to start

OP here.

Funny, my mother is not very feminine either, she's actually a little masculine to.

I guess, I just want to be independent, fearless, she always protected me from everything.

What do you recommend?

Rude

OP Here, this is me right now, this is what I needed.

Thank you.

I just wanna thank you again, I saved this post, will read this everyday because of how relevant it fucking is. You probably might have saved my life.

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btw what other things did you do to leave your comfort zone?

Join a group of some sort with only men. You have to get used to the banter. Let them joke about your minor insecurities, and joke about theirs. Banter is something you can't really practice for, you just take and give with it. Do you have any male friends? Start small with them even if they are just as beta as you.

You can't handle the banter because you are not centered. You are controlled by your insecurities and anxieties, you are afraid that other people will notice and you care too much about what other people think about you.

Read the stoics like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius to get your priorities straight. Face your fears to get stronger so they won't control you anymore. Train your body. Go outside to hike and camp in the wild. Do man things and you will turn into a man. You father didn't teach you this, so you will have to teach yourself.

A man isn't fearless, he's brave. Fearlessness is paramount to idiocy. Bravery is what you seek.

How do you stop your face from getting red when people mention something specific?

I got called gay from when I was a young kid because I moved from a really gay part of town. I have a GF now and nobody thinks I am even close to gay but whenever someone even says the word in any context my face gets beet red. It’s one of the few insecurities I have left

Hang out with masculine men. My mom raised me to be a soft bitch and I’d always get upset when other guys bantered me. But over time I got strong and stopped giving a fuck.

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I was raised without a present father (don't even remember his name or what he looks like) and I'm not more sensitive than other men
How about you stop being a pussy and blaming others for your problems

Underrated post. The only thing not having a father does is put more responsibility and weight on your mother.
So if your mother is retarded, you will be retarded too

What does it mean when other men bantered me but they take offence to it when I do it back? I thought that was banter you know like but they sad and that you know nto sick kunts about it

They're just seeing if you're more socially Jow Forums than them.
If you don't pass their shit test (by letting it get to you) you are seen as weaker. Goes for both men and women.

They never liked you in the first place

Well no problem if they get all sad then. Honeslty I feel like theres a pressure that people dont do it to me now days, like they know they cant, or is just that there actually just decent people?

I'm not sure thats why you dont handle banter well. My dad worked a ton so I rarely saw him until my mid teens and I still bant well. Its all about the friends you made especially in middle school. Middle school kids are fucking ruthless and thats where you learn to adapt

Just be yourself and do the best you can possibly do. If that isn't good enough the next day you will be able to do it a little better. That's about as manly as you can be.

As far as bantz, 90% of people don't have anything worthwhile to say.

What did you say specifically?

Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy by Bobby Rio.
Actually do the practice sessions, do the note card like he says to do, work this shit slowly in. You'll make it.

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This WILL make you look like a creepy autist

t. angry guy with absent father

Thank me later.

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Children who grow up in single mother households are worse off in virtually every dimension: school achievements, social and emotional development, health and their success in the labor market. They are at greater risk of parental abuse and neglect, more likely to become teen parents and less likely to graduate from high school or college. So everything you just said is wrong and everyone who agreed with it is wrong as well.

The idea that a single mother can do just as good as a job as a stable two parent family is the actual meme and you fell for it. It was pushed by retarded feminists who less than two brain cells. And it is probably the primary reason why black people are doing way worse now than they did in the past, with almost 70% of black children in the US raised in single parent households by a single mother.

Not missing out much. My father was a fucking useless cunt. Would rather have had no dad at all.

Hilarious thing?
A single working class heteorsexual father will do a better job as a parent then a single upper middle class heterosexual mother.
Hell, he'll do a better job then homosexual couples and single homosexuals as well.

It's weird.

>It's weird.
Not saying it's wrong. But there is some slant in that statistic because the barrier to getting full custody is way higher for men than it is for women. While it is supposed to be equal by law, in practice the custody always goes to the mother unless the father can prove that it is in the best interest of the child to be in his custody. Any history of violence, drugs, alcohol or even smoking can make him lose the custody decision. Obviously a stable job is also required. So the men who actually do get custody will be a somewhat selected bunch in the first place and you could expect better results statistically.

Go for things I was too intimated to do. I made it my suicide mission to fix myself. I applied for jobs that I really wanted but felt hopelessly under-qualified. Got laughed out quite a few times...but I persisted and I eventually got my shot. This was huge to me and I used to care a great deal how people, even strangers perceived me. I wasn't willing to be humiliated in order to try achieve something.

Dating was new. I had gfs and lost my virginity but otherwise most chicks had zero interest in me. I got online, I got hooked up with my friends. Some dates were total disasters, others were fun but just ended up being friends, but eventually, I scored a couple times, and ended up dating a real keeper. Again, I wasn't willing to fail or be humiliated. I'm glad I put myself out there. Some days I felt like crying, but you can force yourself to change .

1 big success will outweigh several different failures.

This, it's alot harder to pull off nowadays

>go to army
>get shit pushed in
>after years you come out with the foundation of a healthy 15 y/o from the 1950s
good starting point from where one can build himself up, oh and dont forget: you are the average of the 5 people you hang around the most, so your fellas better be hard ass motherfuckers
t. fatherless slav

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SS+GOMAD

WRONG: i am the strong silent type. it's very INTIMIDATING, not creepy. creepy implies i'ma gon rape ya, the look and aesthetic implies i'll rape ya, but i'm gonna torture you to death afterwards and send your children body parts of yours for christmas for the rest of their lives.

The thing about the strong silent type is that you can't switch to the open type once you get intimate with someone and the anxiety isn't an issue anymore. You have to stay the strong silent type all the time or your friends and partners will be put off.

No but I ended up as a beta orbiting feminist incel. Only in recent years have I realized why I ended up like that and why it was an undesirable state of being.

>no father
>sensitive to banter
>raised by protective mother
how fucking common is this? I'm completely on the same boat
goddamn

It's Friday night and we're posting on Jow Forums. This is hardly a representative sample of the general population.

Just bottle everything up like everyone else.

>Saw my father 0 times.
>Have countless half siblings and am an only child.
>Turned into a self conscious and narcissistic but womanizing roodypoo.
>My dad was like this only much worse he fathered so many bastards in his 44 yrs.

Welp. I became just as my genes meant me to be.

Are you black?