Im 23, im a virgin, im pretty awkward around others, but generally like able. I had friends in high school, then I started to get really depressed around college and my life went to absolute shit.
Now all I think about are the wasted years. How can I just let go and go with the flow? I don’t want to spend time thinking about being a virgin, I don’t want to feel down every time I see my reflection in the mirror. How do I just let go of these intrusive thoughts and just live? Everywhere I go and everything I do my brain starts telling me I’m not doing enough or that I’m a loser failure virgin. While true, nothing I’ve done to fix these issues has seemed to help and I’m just ready to stop caring about them. What should I do? I’d love if I could ask someone in my real life but there’s no one who would ever understand so I guess I’ll just ask Jow Forumsizens.
Are you a normal person who just sucks with girls (job, school, social life, has friends and sweats every time they talk about girls) or just a complete failure? Do your parents think of you as a nice geeky guy who has trouble with girls or an embarrassment?
Benjamin Nguyen
Used to be the former now I’m moving closer to the latter, although I still have a few friends and I’m almost done with school
David Lee
Get into drugs. Druggie bitches put out like no other.
Zachary Reyes
You have to fix your depression and begin to get the correct help. You need to learn how to be happier inside and you will find the things you want from life slowly flow in on their own.
Adrian Brooks
23? You dont have wasted years you idiot.
Im 32 and finally starting to figure shit out. And the stupid thing is that there was nothing to figure out in the first place.
Its not complicated.
Put it this way... you are a boat at sea. And if i had to guess your boat situation is pretty comfy. No storms ready to wreak you (divorce/deaths/illnesses). No lack of food or shelter. Nothing other then the fact that you are at sea bored because you are just floating around by yourself.
Pick a fucking direction and go with it!
Hoping the fate of the winds will take you somewhere is a zero to none chance. Not going to happen. Nothing is going to just fall infront of you. Act as if there is no luck or magic in the world. It is as simple and raw as it looks.
Set sail! Pick a direction and go that way! And through that you will find a sense of purpose and then will find other people since you will show to have some kind of pulse.
It doesnt matter what you do, at this point it doesn't because you are already doing nothing. You just need to set sail towards something. And the best part is you are not stuck on that direction. You can veer off towards anything else you want at anytime. You just need to aim to be something and go.
Owen Campbell
I'm at the same situation but i'm 28.
The annoying part is people tell me i look like i want everyone to fuck off, or that i look angry, sad and shit... yet they tell me to lighten up and look friendlier, but HOW when i'm at this fucking shitty situation? It's like i'm trapped in a vicious cycle.
Easton Davis
When they get to know me they tell me i'm great and nice, but they tell me the first impression is always that. Fuck.
Elijah Ortiz
this one OP
Joseph Thompson
Basado
Mason Scott
Noise
Cooper Brooks
I feel like I am currently in the process of figuring this shit out. I set my goal to losing my virginity before this november, otherwise I would have gotten a hooker, but I managed to do it. I went from fat lazy slob to fit fighter, which has helped me immensely. I still feel this pressure you speak of, maybe it got even a little bit worse, but I don't see it as a bad thing any more. This pressure is what helps me evolve and become better, you need to leave your comfort zone and do shit, there is no way around that. Stop being passive, take risks, go on trips, go to a music festival, learn a combat sport, join a club etc etc just DO SOMETHING, something productive that you can build your experience and character with. When I look at myself from just 1 year ago, I seriously can't wait to see what myself 1 year from now will look like.
Joshua Ward
23 is really young. I'm 28 now and was actually surprised when a few years passed and I realized how many people were STILL virgins around 23 and losing it around that time, its just that nobody wants to admit it.
What's making you so insecure about everything? Is it just in your head? Is it the people your around? I had a really toxic groups of "friends" until around your age and then I decided to say fuck it and moved across the country and go to uni down here.
It gave me space to take the lessons I learned about people and myself and apply them to people I choose to be around and how I choose to present myself and act. I only give people who are supportive and positive the time of day now and it really helps a lot with keeping a positive mental attitude about life. >Lifting weights helps me improve my image of myself >Pursuing higher education helps me get out of my own head and focus on higher ideas >Running helps tremendously to burn off energy if I start getting stuck in a negative mental rabbit hole
The virgin thing isn't as big a deal as people make it out to be and you can find someone who will sleep with you, but if your that worried about it and sex has been put on this huge pedestal to you honestly go find an escort.
People are probably going to have a problem with this advice but for real, for like 2-300 dollars you can find a solid 8/10 who will do whatever you want for an hour. I've done it a few times when I've been in a dry spell and needed to get my confidence up and it actually has helped.
Anyways in time you'll learn not to sweat things so much, it just takes a few years to realize how trivial the stuff you are worried about now is. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and go for things just to enjoy them, that's what young is being about. Stop worrying about how other people view you.
Logan Powell
actual good advice on fit
Jace Reyes
Its not too late, faggot, you just spend too much time here.
> 24, lonely virgin last year, now balls deep in a girl while going out every weekend with friends.
Remember user, be a sick cunt and work on yourself, then the good times will come. Also take up running, helps clear the mind.
What to do when everything I do feels absolutely pointless, and nothing seems to change the way I feel?
Jaxon Parker
Find out what you want to do, make better decisions ie working out, eating, making small forward steps even if its for the meanwhile. Running was a great way to work out stresses and have a clearer mind, so try it. Helps if you're a fat fuck, too. Do it for yourself and don't even care if you're a virgin. Eventually you'll be better off in a year, even if you're not where you want to be by then.
Take it from someone who started at 23 as well, user. Still feel like a failure but at least I'm progressing.
Thomas Rivera
just stand up straight and smile
Joshua Cruz
Capped for future rainy days
Christopher Davis
tl;dr play wind waker and sail around
Austin Martin
OP here, thank you man. You're right, I just keep waiting for all the things that will make my life better to fall into my lap, but they don't. Instead it's just a slow, gradual, self loathing decline. I'm way too scared of what other people will think of me and I can rationally say that but it's so hard for me to just take action knowing that nobody gives a shit about me as an individual.
I have this exact same problem, people tell me I look mad or sad when I just have my normal neutral face, the fact is people tell me I'm really nice when they get to know me. I've been trying to smile more lately. It drives a lot of otherwise nice people away when you look like that.
Isaiah Robinson
>tfw no matter how big I get I'll always be an insecure, scrawny teenager on the inside
