Anyone ever use their Jow Forums status in a fight?

Double plot twist

Did you at least give up the booty? That dude did you a favour man.

Too late bro. It was even eight, so it cancels out the no homo and in fact homo.

Should've at least sucked him off as thanks, you faggot.

>Drinking at a bar
>Just drunk enough to lose inhibitions
>Hit on a Stacey, surprisingly flirts back and dance with her a bit
>Time to leave, on the sidewalk now
>Her bf or ex appears and tells me to get the fuck away from her
>His friends try to defuse, but he isn't having any of it
>Obviously wants to fight me
>He's 6'1", ~170 lbs
>I'm 5'10", 155 lbs

>Muay thai stance
>He throws a right haymaker you can see a mile away
>Cover up, step in
>Cross -> left hook -> low kick
>He falls to the ground, tries to get up but falls again
>Walk away backwards, shaking a bit
>One of his friends threatens to "kick my ass"
>"N-no you won't"

This was a few months ago, around the end of the school year

Kicked a dude with a knife in the balls once and he vomited blood.

nah

This is my goal :)

Attached: IMG_8299.jpg (960x960, 93K)

doggo knows whats up.
around blacks never relax

I hope they didn't hurt that brave pupper after that

What? Why do you have a knife on your shoe?

Attached: 1487776187045.jpg (640x640, 55K)

>out drinking with a buddy of mine
>after the light we stay near the entrance of the nightclub hanging around talking to some girls half-sitting on a windowsill
>An asian guy with gupsy friend walk by and my friend shouts out "CHING CHONG CHUNG!"
>Asian guy spins 360 and immediately is triggered and comes in asking what is up with this bullshit being aggressive as fuck
>My friend is half-vietnamese so he just tries to play it cool that they "are brothers" and it was only joke etc.
>My friend sees asian guy is not calming down and desides to leave and look for our other friends somewhere in the vicinity
>meanwhile I'm so drunk I just stay laughing
>The gupsy leaves and I'm left with the asian guy, and suddenly he starts getting aggressive on me saying I was the one who yelled
>out of a blue the faggot grabs my throat with force and I hit the back of my head.
>baffled and drunk just stare at him and tell him to let go
>seconds pass and faggot just keeps going on powertripping pressing my head to the window with his fingers wide around my thick neck so I don't feel shit.
>I am half-sitting and he is a head taller
>lol sure lets dance
>casually remove his arm with my left hand and grab his throat the right way from trachea with my right and gently apply pressure with every musclefiber in my arm that can hold 200Kg bar while deadlifting
>I'm head taller than this faggot crushing his throat and I could swear I saw a slight change in his facial expression
>walk him backwards few meters and ippon seio nage him easily to the pavement because I did 5 years judo as kid
>The bouncer has seen this shit going down and rushes and tackles me off and looks at me shocked and scared because we are roughly same size
>I'm cool to let it go and leave to search my friends as I wasn't the one that has to live the rest of my life never learning
>felt pretty alpha and managed to get a girl home from the fucking grill line.

Cause I’m devilish

>that can hold 200kg bar

ooh big man lmao

>>An asian guy with gupsy friend walk by and my friend shouts out "CHING CHONG CHUNG!"
Yeah cool story, get better friends.

>not even sucking his dick out of politeness
never gonna make it brah

What's wrong with that?

He almost got YOUR ass kicked by running HIS mouth.

That was just some asian dude. Pretty safe for your ass.

>gupsy friend
Gupsy? Is that like a gypsy yuppie? Or a gay gypsy?

>it was just some Asian
Literally every single person that you see on the street every single day as the potential of killing you. Literally every single one.
Imagine that Asian was some ape shit retard on drugs and he would have just stabbed you to death because your retarded teenager friend thinks it’s funny to shout racist shit at strangers on the street.

Apart from that there is also nothing more annoying than faggots who start provoking strangers when they become drunk.

well he's bigger than 99% of Jow Forums, including you

>be in club
>guy harrasses my girlfriend
>talk to him but he doesn't care
>accidentally toss his drink
>he punches me
My first real fight and I lost it, mostly because I wasn't aware something like this could actually happen. Now I know it is not so bad because the adrenaline will suppress any pain or anxiety short term. Later on I felt like shit for a week because no one has genuine sympathy for the loser. But I reframed it as a turning point to positive changes in my life and so it became a win in the long term. Next time I'm prepared.

>he might have the strength but it's all futile for I have the superior speed

Attached: tumblr_nknpo07qxV1rg3vrmo5_500.jpg (450x532, 44K)

Triple plot twist

>the two white guys knew each other

You have shitty friends.

Casual Racism might seem okay to you, but guys like him have to deal with that shit on a semi-daily basis.

Randomly harassing people on the street is something lowlifes do.

>t loser

Nope. I always walk away. I don't care about being alpha. Fighting can only get you into physical or financial troubles and it's just not worth it unless you're defending yourself or others.

If you can't control your emotions when someone calls you a pussy or a fag, how do you expect to be able to obtain your goals when you can't even hold on to yourself?

Attached: 1532245298863.jpg (244x450, 38K)

yep, welcome to real life. veteran basement dwellers experience this sort of thing later in life or never

>not having gay thank-you sex

ngmi

This. I’m pretty racist against non Irish in my cunt but yelling shit at people trying to have a good time is just wrong

Chimp

A fighter who trains strength is like going against a fucked up forklift. A musclebro who lifts because he can't fight is garbage, even worse when he tries to intimidate people with size.
You can't tell by looking at a fella.

This. Lifting doesn't mean anything in a gun fight. Live humble, be kind and serve the meek and downtrodden. Don't be a bad person and don't put yourself around bad people.

No and I'm so far on the fit ladder, that people usually avoid fighting me since I'm clearly bigger than them. Sure, sometimes when people are drunk they pick me and say "Those muscles wouldn't help you in a real fight" and I usually say "Ok" and walk away.

This. Deadlifting anything beyond 150 kg is really uncommon in commercial gyms in general.

>light lifting and body weight stuff, chin-ups etc
>going for drinks with old school friend
>he is half a head taller, fat and has thick glasses
>i'm 6' and in my swole phase, where i attract mean, brainless girls and repel the nerds i actually like
>suddenly three Italian Stallions appear
>all about 5'5" each
>one of them says some insubordinate shit
>about to ask what when one of them staright up punches my friend in the mouth
>whoa hey what the fuck
>friend's glasses skitter on pavement
>friend grabs his attacker's head and rams it's face into wall THUNK
>drags the guy's face down the wall and drops him at the bottom of a streak of blood
>fuuuuck
>restrain friend from killing with tricky kung-fu hands and strength
>two remaining braves looking aghast as their friend crawls away and i'm holding a big guy doing the "Let me at 'em" routine
If i hadn't been there he probably would have eaten them all. Folded half a thumbnail back somehow and it bled drops of blood all down my pants. Had never seen him ever hit anyone. Years later he did 4 months for aggravated assault where someone hit him and he went full Viking Ikea Furniture.

>mfw ugliest situation i've seen involved me stopping a bro from being mental.

Attached: 1345431592964.gif (269x200, 153K)

they were probably just scared of the bin cos they don't know what they are for

>one of them says some insubordinate shit
I hate it when manlets defy their masters

sory dont know how to greenText and im not good at writing stories -

Did boxing casually in my teens, had talent for martial arts as I had good natural power with both fists and wasnt scared of getting hit and could take good shots for my age.

No discipline though, which prompted my coach not to allow me to fight in competitions. Fuck World of warcraft, alcohol and weed btw, this fucked up my teens good.

Went with some friends drinking (17yrs old) in a park, a good friend had crutches cause of broken leg. All were drunk and laughed, we somehow managed to attract some girls, so it was all cool and enjoyable. Friends always used me for breaking the ice, saying hes a pro boxer, just look at his bicep! etc. - I played along, as it really helped to land on some stupid teenage girls.

Bro with crutches went to a bush to pee, when suddenly three dudes ganged on him up. They seemed a little older, around ~20yrs old.

(actually found later out who they were, the perks of living in a relative small town)

We still were laughing and drinking, not a clue what is happening, when suddenly we hear a loud shout from crutchbro.

I immediately run to him and saw these 3 guys beating him up - I used the moment of surprise and gave what felt like a million-dollar Straigth to his jaw, which koed him instantly. The other drunktard, a narrowly built nigger came and tried to punch me but I took a step back and responded with a leaping left hook, which was sure overkill for that lanklet. The third one came from the side bruised me with a sloppy drunkTard punch, he then tried to put me in a headlock, but I threw 2 livershots which were more then enough to put him in the floor - Im sure he vomited later his organs out.

Luckily they werent fighters and too drunk for their own good. After that show everyone praised me as a hero, I landed on that french qt3.14 and people of our age-range talked about what happened that night. Easy chicks in that time-period thats for sure.

Attached: 2E01601A00000578-3298901-image-a-45_1446378415603.jpg (962x641, 232K)

Damn seeing this, I appreciate green-texts even more.

Hanging with a few college friends. One friend, I'll call him Jay, is a skinny manlet faggot who swears he's huge because he has low bodyfat (you know the type).
Says shit like
>I take so much protein you wouldn't believe me
He thinks protein is a drug you "take," kek
>I just benched two 25 plates on the smith machine for 20 reps
That kind of shit. I silently laugh about it, im 6'2" 210, strong as fuck. So we're standing under an overhang, 10pm because it's raining, his gf is sitting on a garbage can, longboards are leaned against the can too. This campus janitor comes up, hispanic guy with all these neck and face tattoos, actually his whole body was covered. They looked like prison tats. Uniform unbuttoned to reveal undershirt and small gold chain, chest tats. He looked like your typical cholo. He was doing the trash around the campus. He comes up and goes to Jays gf "get your shit outta the way" we all look, I start smiling because it was fucking funny, this tough ass cholo telling this petite girl to get the fuck out of the way. I get it, he's working a trash job probably having a shitty time, just being a cunt to blow off some steam.
Jay looks at him trying to think of something tough to say.
>"you mean get her fucking SHIT... or her STUFF out of the way??"
>all of us pic related, everyone except jay, even choloman
>cholo stays calm, "I clearly said shit. You see me emptying these fucking cans, move your shit so I can do my job.... unless you're gonna do something about it"
>they talk more shit, start doing that close by standing thing before a fight, all of us watching. I'm in the back because tallest
>cholo starts getting ready to end him with a punch but takes a quick look at the rest of us. It's Jay, his girl, some 5'2" Jew kid, and me
>double takes at me and sizes me. Explained he just lost his best friend, Apologizes to Jay, who has no idea that I unintentionally saved him from getting dropped by a cholo (I wanted it to happen, no one really liked him)

Attached: IMG_3702.jpg (1440x1080, 64K)

Make friends with the janitor

One of the perks of being a big guy 4u is that everyone assumes you'd kick their ass, so they don't fuck with you. In reality I've never been in a fight because I've never needed to be, and I'd have no fucking clue what I'm doing, but just being big and muscular works well enough as a deterrent strategy. Good enough for me.

They probably smashed is skull and ate it, my senegalese friend used to find street cats and skin them alive for fun

>hey chill out i'm asian too lol
Tell your friend he's a mutt.

>tfw can actually fight without training or working out whatsoever
I've beat more than one amature boxer in boxing. It's hard to relate when most people talk about fighting for this reason

more like they try to intimidate and push the other around while their opponent is looking for a sucker punch

hahah i hope this is real

this

why did you capitalize racism?

saying chin chong whatever might offensive but its not "racism"

underrated

kek

Yes it is faggot.

Probably an alcoholic with ulcers

larp or they were drunk

Same here, I also have a very intimidating face according to people so I never had to fight yet... 6'3/215 lean

>people thought I was a geek in highschool but in reality I'm just good at tests so I had the best grades
>Went from playing RuneScape 6hrs a day to finding Jow Forums, starting strength (used it to lose weight like a retard but whatever), playing varsity tennis, working out every other day
>Pretty built by my senior year as far as 18 year olds, the football team is bigger but obviously they eat and lift a shitton
>End up hanging out with the "popular" kids a few times
-all the Stacies pretended I didn't exist but the Chads thought it was a novelty that the supposed nerd ended up more muscular than them all
>One day they start talking about silly high school fighting mentality like all punks inevitably do, naming all the people they could take out
>The most popular guy makes a joke that I'd crush this other kid, and then says "but seriously, no one would mess with you because you're jacked"

>Rooming with friends in college later
>Talking about fighting again (lol we're all still virgin nerds)
>Both of my friends are 6'0+, both skinny/fat around 165 and 195lbs
>At this point I'm also at 165lbs at 5'6
>They both unanimously agree that I could take them both out while bickering back and forth about who's tougher

Jokes on them, they'd both probably beat me because none of us have fighting xp but they have reach advantage

People are all talk, I don't have any doubts that I wouldn't fare well in an altercation with a drunken bigger dude

Pic related for reference in my senior year of high school

Attached: 1394480341944-1.jpg (630x1627, 687K)

it isn't homophobic :^)

This is one of my objectives of getting swole, fight deterrent. I've been in way too many fights and I'm tired of that shit.
I'm an ex-alcoholic and I'm involved in the local hip hop scene. Huge egos, legit criminals, dealers, etc etc. I'm a pretty good dancer, so of course everybody wanted to fuck my shit up.

I baka when I see Jow Forums forever-teen-mindset retards gloryfying fights or wanting to get in one. The stupidest thing, you could just slightly bump your head or neck in the wrong way and literally end up parapleglic, a vegetable, or dead.

>Shoving and sparring matches are actual fights
Americans...

>The stupidest thing, you could just slightly bump your head or neck in the wrong way and literally end up parapleglic, a vegetable, or dead.
Same thing can happen in the gym so...

Kinda, but backwards.

>be me
>builtfat (wrestled 220/hwt weighed around 240 at the time did some bjj in college)
>turn 21
>out for drinks with cousin
>cousin is a hot head
>ends up picking a fight with two guys
>outside to fight
>cousin wrestled 182
>guess I got the big guy then maybe 260
>big guy lands a huge left
>pretty sure he fucked my jaw, still hurts 3 years later
>get a single leg lift it high and big guy goes down
>mount and ground and pound
>big guy bellies out
>legs in
>rnc
>big guy taps
>cousin is getting his ass beat
>big guy and I watching
>cousin finally gives up
>handshakes exchanged
>beers on my cousin
>turns out they go to local bjj/mma gym
>get invited
>love it
>down 40 pounds and in great shape now

I hate myself for taking the bait but of course the difference is that someone is actively trying to hurt you. Kinda like the difference between going out in the street because of routine/work/whatever vs standing in the middle of an avenue at rush hour just to get a thrill.

Is it? I don't lift anymore because I have all the mass I need and between work and training I don't have time, but I was doing 405 pound dead lifts in highschool wrestling just fine.

I'm also a fucking builtfat giant so maybe thats it.

did you bang the girl?

I hate people who think they can get away with punching down. You and your friends are pussies.

You can tell a fighter from a straight lifter. There is a certain looseness in their walk. Shoulders and chest aren't puffed out and stiff. Even the Bjj guys who get their spine wrecked hours on end have a looseness to them.

what is happening in this picture?

No, you didn't do fucking shit. He sounds like a dude that has gone through hell and doesn't want to go back because of some wanna be tough guys.

Attached: tumblr_m7g1xyfZVi1r77nz0o1_500.gif (500x267, 483K)

just a random picture taken on halloween in england, no fight whatsoever

>that wagon draggin in the back tho

Be careful, you just told some Jow Forums channer he made something up in his head and that it didn't actually revolve around him, the butthurt is about to reach astronomical proportions

Hahaha that’s fucking great

> gayknighted

When are anons gonna learn that you cannot have mfw and pic unrelated at the same time...

great post

Exactly. Best way to win a war is to avoid it completely by having deterrents like nuclear missiles. And likewise the best way to avoid a fight is to APPEAR large, strong, and intimidating so that no one will bother trying to fuck with you.

>mfw i live in a small town
>used to live in big metro area
>local assholes always say shit like this in the bar
>invite them to the parking lot so they can prove it
>they always bitch up

and here i though country folk were supposed to be fucking hard cunts

post video or larping

>out of fucking nowhere a pale white arms shoot out the fucking darkness and choke the guy
more like gay karate night amirite

unless they know how to fight....

Honestly Jow Forums status??? What does this even mean? How deluded could you ACTUALLY be OP???? I really hope no one's gone so far as to do this, using their status on the board, Jow Forums in a fight?? What do you do, throw onions at them and call them bad words to hurt their feelings to breach their flesh? Do you tell them that you're one of many hiveminded individuals on Jow Forums and be all like, I post on Jow Forums you can't hurt me irlanon!11!!1!1!!1! Wow. As if anyone would use fitness itself as an advantage in a fight, I can only assume you meant your actual status on Jow Forums
Shame OP

Yeah, if you're one of those MMA manletes who looks DYEL and instead has to constantly go full napoleon complex trying to start shit, because the only way he can impress anyone IRL is if he acts like a nigger trying to get into fights.

People say i look intimidating due to size and face so i never have to fight anyone and i can usually calm a situation down thankfully. Whenever someone does try to start shit i just go twice their aggression and psycho. No one wants to fight a big dude who seems psycho. Fighting in the street is moronic don't do it. Just have a good time instead

>Got into fight last week.

>Punches me.

>I single leg him.

>Gets me in headlock.

>I switch my body onto opposite side to headlock.

>Von flue choke.

Goodnight homo.

Attached: giphy (3).gif (400x300, 2.08M)

Welcome to Jow Forums

What's he saying about the dog?

Doggo clearly understood he was being mocked

antiracists are faggots confirmed