ITT: weird advices parents gave to you
>hit puberty
>get horny as fuck
>dad says "channel your horniness into lifting and working out. You'll be too tired to look at girls" and shit like that
>start lifting and work out
>become even more horny
I dunno what he meant by any of that.
You aren't working hard enough.
he's trying to push you into homo-mode
wow sauce on this
Damn, who is she?
Fashion of the future everybody
>mom told me masturbation wasn't normal and against God
Advice like this is why I'm a weird 25 year old man on Jow Forums now.
Are you sure its the advice, not the autism?
it will be if the jews have their way
You fucked up, don't blame your parents.
That's a plebbit tier way of thinking.
why do we not get to see her ass?
>mom catches me watching porn
>get yelled at and lectured how masturbation is bad for you
>later returns
>rubs my dick
>whispers "it's not masturbation if someone else does it for you" in my ears
Dad wasn't talking about horniness but hormonal control in terms of grown. Working out while hitting puberty clears your mind AND boost growth hormone to the top.
Does anybody have source on OP's? Damn.
burn her for suggesting pre-marital sex, that's also a sin
>Be me 10 y/o
>Chilling on living room sofa
>stomachrumble.exe
>Let out a loud BRRRRRAAAP
>Dad looks at me w/ digust
>Recieve 10minute lecture about how it’s polite to leave the room and fart in the bathroom
>Mfw Dad starts saying I should fart in the toilet bowl
>Dad says I should flush as well
>Start laughing
>Sudden laughter causes another large BRRRRAAAP
>Get sent to my room
In short my dad told me to flush my farts down the toilet
>Start supersetting
>Lot of lactic acid build up
>Cramps because above
>Mom tells me a really hot bath will help
>Literally the opposite of what you should do
Woah, i can't remember any bad advice from my parents, which sucks, because i can't blame them for being such a failure.
FUCK
Imagine having tits so firm they dont need a bra. Theycnust be fake.
Nothing really too bad. Just generic momscience once in a while like saying that watermelon has zero calories.
FUCKING THE CLASSIC "YOU NEED TO EAT YOUR METABOLISM WILL SHUT DOWN" FOLLOWED BY A FORCED 800 CALORIE MEAL W/ PROBABLY 300 MORE CALORIES IN BUTTER AND OIL SHIT. FUCK. I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE. THIS SHIT MAKES FASTING IMPOSSIBLE. I HAVE HAD NO WEIGHT LOSS BECAUSE OF THIS. DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY
this
except they didn't talk to me at all
It could go either way with the way her tits are bouncing, but the shape could be the result of the tape being used in a similar fashion to breast lift tape.
Yes, breast lift tape is a thing and might be worse than padded bras to some degree.
The fuck? Most tits looks like that without a bra, what kind of pancake tits you been fucking lad?
oh.
Should've told him to flush his bullshit down there too.
>be 19
>eating sushi with dad
>"if you can get a girl to swallow an oyster, she'll swallow anything"
this was the extent of my fathers sex talk/advice about women.
It's called "The Black Tape Project"
my mom's very religious and the daughter of a pastor. She told me that masturbation is normal but can mess up myself when I actually start having sex.
the middle ones right shoulder has a bone showing on top and is asymmetrical with the other shoulder. why?
Because:
1) She's not standing straight.
2) Most people have mild asymmetries.
3) You're slightly autistic.
I want to be the one to pull the tape off. owo
Bitches will be wearing this shit to the beach in the 2020s. Enjoy it when it comes boyos cus the West will fall soon after
Masturbation today isn't normal. Tugging it to hyper sexualised images of women in normally unrealistically violently sexual liasons damages your noggin old chap.
Or you could become based vanilla. Or not even use porn.
(And that's a good thing)
this
Why is it that any time i see blacks/mixed blacks with actually cute faces they end up having unimpressive and almost boyish bodies? The other girls look thicc compared to her
I haven't met a girl yet that didn't at least enjoy being choked, so I'm not so sure about that one, man
They'll wear it for like one week and in that window rape will go up 2000%. From there on out burqa bikinis will be the new thing.
>mom told me and sister to get along
This is the reason my sister is my oneitis now. Mom ruined my life its hurts to live
>Mom was utterly irresponsible
>My fetish is girls with their shit together
Fuck lads, don't think I'll ever be with someone
>Hate mom for reasons.
>has so far only attracted girls who look like her
In all seriousness: found the virgin.
ONE MORE GOD REJECTED
Why does this place act like 25 is old?
i know shit like this is terrible and degenerate, but fuck its so hot. i'm so conflicted
My grandfather broke his ribs and has a similar protrusion, just more pronounced
>not revelling in the doms like your mother
Enjoy the pain
Whats it like having a father so toxically masculine?
>toxically masculine
Oximoron
You have to be 18 to post here.
Imagine that your daughter is one of these women. Works every time.
> becoming a parent is the blackest pill there is
That's unironically fantastic advice. I hope I can be this straightforward when I have to talk to my kids about it.
My father said "Yeah, I was thinking to myself 'the boy's gonna start playing with himself at some point'..." and advised me that it was between me and God what I did in my bedroom.
or spanked, or arms held behind back, or ankles behind ears, etc
i was already a pro in bed after years of watching “film”
>t. lost virginity at 21 late bloomer
Lmao bro wtf women are whores god damn
I got old. I'm grandpa mode now at 33.
My mum and dad gave me zero advice about sex and relationships growing up and moved us around alot so I never had stable friends to talk about sex stuff with.
I flopped around, tried advice books, talked to guys who were successful, I always failed though. Honestly at uni I must have approached 300+ women and just didn't have the knowledge or tools to deal with it.
Then I came here and just learnt to hate women. I now feel bad. My gf is a fat ass who I dont and I find attractive and I lift largely to get the odd match on tinder or bumble.
That alone is enough to satiate my ego and self loathing to get me through another day.
because they're fucking weird autists who speak in memes like the boomer/zoomer memes
nah man don't worry just don't overdo it
People are often attracted to those who look like themselves. Your mom looks like you, so girls who look like you may also resemble your mom.
the virgin dad vs THE CHAD BRAPPER
Lol you are a beta
>women are whores who only want sex!
>I only jack off 5 times a day to Sleeping Asian tittyfucking
actually laughed, who the fuck flushed their farts
I always watch this in hopes of her turning around and it never happens.
>t. low test
The attain something you've never had you must do what you've never done
I haven't yanked my dick since i was 16 nigger
Appears to be a mild AC joint separation.
Likely causes her some soreness and a little discomfort when she's using her shoulder heavily, but is generally fine from day to day.
My pop told me never to trust a woman... unless it's my mother. He also introduced me to kino while we were at a Hooters once. Also, always pay for the quality of things that keep you grounded: mattresses, shoes, and tires.
>virgin dad
Imagine the lucky fucker who got to apply the tape, he would have got to touch their assholes. Imagine the smell
You dumb Nigger. The reason you only see cucks and fuckboys on the street is because our parents fucked us up. They didn't raise high performers and they didn't raise us to be better than them
Happy 17th user!
Lol is it really that hard to believe that some people just don't enjoy beating their dick?
0% test boomer
Watching aggressive porn and relieving seen to that = fucks up your association and your brainwiring
Being dominant and fucking as you like = the normal thing to do
You see when you unload yourself to film your natural reason to get out and find a mate vanishes the longer you go the easy way
You havent fucked a girl with nice tits user.
Sort yourself.
He would've reconsidered giving you that advice after taking a look at the next water bill.
people dont really wear runway fashion stuff
>complaining about people showing off their body on a Jow Forumsness board
autistic mutt fuck off
>pic of a trannyfucker pedophile jew living off donations
wow dude what a wisdom you have there
There's been so much incest shilling on this board lately. I can see the shadow of your nose from here David
>tugging
>liasons
>noggin
>old chap
You're sounding suspiciously unamerican
Cymphony Anne De La Fuente
He's very likely a literal faggot.
>I haven't yanked my dick since i was 16 nigger
lowtest detected. I'm 30 and still have go to the restroom to jack-off at least once during the workday if there's an attractive female coworker who wears clothes that show some skin
Lmao how about having sex with an actual female instead of fantasizing like a boy you faggot
I don't know, people have been getting raped at spring break celebrations for decades and yet they still show up in g-strings.
No it isn't kek
>tfw farting into a bag and then calling hazmat to dispose of it
>Imagine having tits
Doesn't sound like he was being a beta, more like a joke that he didn't know women were such deviant sluts.
Get your head out of your ass before I put mine in there, faggot
HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT
>implying I don't
you can't just leave work to have sex whenever you feel horny, you fucking NEET
now that I think about it I never received a single bit of life advice from my parents. Not that I'd ever asked them for it.
Why fucking jerk your dick around when you should be working if you still get pussy anyway retard
>those
>fake
you're probably the most virgin person on Jow Forums
Brehs...
because I can't concentrate on work anyway when I'm horny. you wouldn't even ask this question if your testosterone levels were higher than 300 ng/dL. considering you think that having a job is something like toiling away in a work camp without breaks, I'm now pretty sure not a lot of time has passed since you stopped fapping