old one nearly archived
/fph/ - Steven edition
Caleb Bell
Other urls found in this thread:
derpicdn.net
deadline.com
twitter.com
Sebastian Cook
Jaxson Powell
Ryan Martin
What a troubled soul
Brandon Foster
is this a typical american?
Bentley Carter
of coursh
Sebastian Murphy
Nolan Price
Dog bless
Henry Jenkins
Nathan Campbell
>tattoos
>fat as fuck
>degenerate ear holes
truly a disgusting specimen
Xavier Walker
Adam Lee
Vile creature
Kayden Cooper
Request from the last thread.
Elijah Richardson
The adventures of onion hair and Jow Forumschan.
Justin Smith
yes
yes
this is fine
Justin Walker
>the piggy nose on the planet
it's perfect
Christian Torres
saved
Chase Barnes
w-what was in the pitcher? pancake mix?
Connor Morris
Matthew Perry
NO JUDGEMENT.
Ian Russell
This nigga wearing a backpack! Ahah...ahaha.....ahahahahaha!!!!!
Caleb Wilson
Nice
Blake Sanchez
Xavier Adams
She had a point, boys have backpacks men have briefcases or laptop bags
Backpacks are only for outdoor activities when you are a man
Christopher Robinson
To the user who said he was talking about fucking the THICC drawing. Feast your eyes on this.
Dude I think the fit chick should have more prominent hips and not as broad shoulders. Btw do you do requests? I'd like an edit of an /fph/ pic.
Nolan Jones
t. fat neet
Gabriel Russell
It's like a protein/gainer mix + milkshake
Carter Miller
Ethan White
>boys have x REAL men have x.
How about people just doing whatever the fuck they want? Honestly regardless of briefcases or laptop, a bag still gets the same job done regardless of looks on something that looks like a public community interior. Honestly needed to mind her own damn business.
Angel Davis
William Phillips
>born 500lbs
Eli Wood
You can keep your manpurses, I would like something I can fit my damn lunch in without having to smoosh everything.
Ian Perry
Posting a fps I saved from another friend. Not mine.
>have fat friend, we'll call K
>K is a proud 5'9", last time I knew was 380 lbs
>hadn't seen her for a while but she calls up and wants to reconnect
>been a few months
>ok, w/e we can meet up for lunch
>I get to the restuarant and get a table.
>about 20 mins after I get there, I get a text saying she just got there
>I look at the door and in she walks
>balding, foot in a cast, gained at least 50 lbs
>greet and start small talk
>turns out her new job is going well but her health isn't
>turns out she's prediabetic, her pcos is flairing and her doctor needs to up her thyroid medication
>after 12 years, it's still not the right dosage apparently
>because she can't seem to lose weight no matter how much she loses
>time to order
>I get a half sandwich with a salad and italian dressing on the side
>she gets a half sandwich with a salad, ranch of course.
>and a side of sweet potato fries.
>think, ok, that's not too bad.
>then she orders another entree: french tip + garlic fries
>"I'm gonna take it home, so I don't have to cook dinner"
>"teehee"
>throughout talking at lunch find out she broke her foot walking.
>"I stepped on it wrong"
>I've recenlty lost some weight (thanks guys) and she's taken notice
>but doesn't say anything positive about it.
>Instead she thinks she's being sly and at first it starts innocently
>"Go ahead and have some of my fries user, I can't POSSIBLY eat them all."
>"Do you want to try MY salad?"
>"C'mon user, just one fry, they're so good!"
>with every refusal she became more frustrated with me.
>also by the end of the lunch she had finished everything she had ordered.
>"oops, teehee"
Nolan Perez
>Now it had been a good hour and lunch was coming to an end.
>I had other errands to run before I got home.
>"Hey, let's go to coldstone's."
>No thanks K. I got to go, maybe another time.
>And then she explodes on me
>"GAWD WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"
>uh....
>"WHY ARE YOU STARVING YOURSELF?"
>"YOU ARE CLEARLY NOT EATING ENOUGH!"
>"ARE YOU ANOREXIC?"
>"IS YOUR HUSBAND FORCING YOU TO LOSE WEIGHT?"
>uh... no, no I'm not anorexic, I just am full from lunch and don't want ice cream.
>this confused her at first.
>I was pretty hurt at the anorexic accusation because I've tried really hard to lose it the healthy way.
>Then her eyes kind of went cold and flat and she said without smiling
>"Prove it. Eat some ice cream."
>No.
>And then she got mad.
>"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT AN ANOREXIC WOULD SAY!"
>shout "STOP SAYING THAT!"
>by now everyone is looking at us
>get so frustrated, just storm out
>later when I get home, I see on facebook that she sent me a message apologizing
>she's upset because her life is so hard right now
>and mine's so perfect
>her words
>roll my eyes into the back of my head.
>the next day get a message from a different friend.
>"Hey, so K messaged me last night and said you were anorexic."
>"Are you okay?"
>silently rage and tell her K is jealous of my weightloss so she's lying
>we laugh at her
>I message her to stop fucking lying about me
>"I care about you user and if you won't seek help for yourself I will."
Benjamin Evans
>Warn her if she does anything of the sort I will blacklist her from all social engagements since I'm the last one to tolerate her
>she refuses to back down unless I prove it and eat food in front of her
>tell her she's crazy and put her on ignore.
>she then puts a status up of " *curls up into bol and cries*"
>which is followd by the usual circus of "OMG what's wrong?"
>she proceeds to write a fucking essay about how I was bullying her
>and how I have anorexia
>and she's the only one who cares if I'm healthy or not
>and how my friends are hateful shallow douchebags
>basically pissing on everyone and demanding we do as she says
>...
>crickets
>aside from a few posts from her family who comfort her, no one gives a shit
>not even enough to respond
>it's like a collective sigh from the group
>and like that, we all went back to ignoring her like we had the last time we included her
>p.s. last time we included her, she would take food home after pot luck parties that she was not hosting.
>literally bring nothing except empty tupperware and leave with it filled with food others brought
>after the third time, she was no longer invited
John Lewis
I have one more story about this "K" saved. Her poor friend only posted 2 stories in the same thread but man did they stick. Again not the original poster.
I gotta give her a name at this point.
We'll call her K.
>K calls me up
>she's crying
>tells me none of her clothes fit
>she's at least 330+ from eyeballing it, and about 5'9"
>later found out she's actually 380, man am I bad at guessing weight
>She's prediabetic, thyroid cundishun, the whole shebang.
>She squeezes into a size 3x, but should be wearing 4x
>asks me about the new gym I just signed up to that I talked about last game night
>I tell her it's freaking awesome
And here's where I made my mistake
>"I am going tomorrow. Do you want to come?"
Fuck me... Okay, here we go.
>I'm thinking while we're there we could talk about using myfitnesspal.
>She emphatically agrees to come
>"But I can't work out too much or it'll hurt my joints"
>Tell her we will swim laps, I'll pick her up at 9 am sharp, and remind her that punctuality is part of discipline.
>She promises to be ready
Queue tomorrow @ 8:30 am
>Knock on door
>hear nothing for a minute
>knock again
>hear a low "oh shit"
>then papers crinkling up and her old recliner whining as it's put into a sitting position
>internally sigh
>knock again, she calls out "Oh, you're early! Give me one sec."
>hear some shuffling then she opens the door
>she was wearing her clothes from the day before
>jeans
>sandals
>she had not showered
>she had food stains on her shirt
>"I'm not quite ready yet, blah blah, you're early blah blah, I just need to finish this thing real quick blah blah...
>...on fucking runescape."
>seriously.png
>Tell her no time, we gotta go, she made a commitment
>"Yeah but I made a commitment too. To my friends on here."
>"I just need to help him farm a few items for blah blah)"
>"Okay, how long will that take?"
>"15 mins, I swear! Then I'll get ready in a sec and we can go."
>Sit on her disgusting couch and look at the food wrappers around her chair
Tyler Cooper
>taco bell, carl's jr, jack in the crack, b-k, micky d's, chipotle
>open sauce side containers just sitting out
>it has this pungent creeping odor
>consider leaving her, but decide you don't give up on friends.
30 minutes later...
>I'm exasperated
>I'm tapping my foot like a bitch
>Trying to make small talk but only getting monosyllablic answers
>she won't get the fuck off runescape
>Are you done yet?
>"Almost."
10 more minutes go by
>How about now?
>"God Anonette, you are SO impatient. It's saturday, relax a little."
>"You were supposed to be ready 20 minutes ago. You're wasting my time, I have things to do."
>"I thought you said you were serious about coming."
>Go to leave
>She starts sobbing
>"You're just gonna leave me? Some friend you are."
>"I come to you for help and you just give up the first chance you get."
>"You really don't care."
I had no backbone at the time of this interaction.
She was an alpha bitch, and while I was fit I was shy and often got trampled over by friends like her.
>start to feel like shit because she's not wrong
>"If you get up and start getting right now, I won't leave."
Big mistake number 2.
>So K goes upstairs to get ready
>And I wait.
>Another 30 minutes.
>when she comes down she hasn't showered.
>but has a huge duffel full of stuff.
>think nothing of it
>we get in our cars and head to the gym.
>I realize halway there she's no where in sight
>Get to gym finally, it's packed.
>Of course it is, it's a summer saturday.
>She's no where in sight
>Text her
>No answer
>Wait 20 mins
>See she finally pulls in.
>K get's out of the car and she's finishing swallowing something
>Peak through the windshield and it's mickey d's.
>She didn't want me to see, says she got lost.
>shrug it off
John Turner
Go back to >>Jow Forums you bigot!
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Oliver Davis
A god
Christian Lewis
thanks for posting. Would read again/10
Nathan Morgan
>Promises to pick her up at 9am
>Arrives at 8:30
Why are people so bad with clocks ?
Alexander Gutierrez
>How about people just doing whatever the fuck they want?
Well, sadly OP, you live in a society. It has people who will act differently and treat you differently depending on how you behave and present yourself.
You can choose to ignore people, but pretending that ignoring people will make them stop judging you and treating you differently is like pretending stepping off a cliff with your eyes closed will make gravity not apply.
Pretending like it's only a few people making these judgments is also bluepilled. It's everyone, whether or not the people themselves realize it.
Understanding these implicit judgments can allow you to manipulate your own appearance and presentation in particular circumstances to achieve your particular ends.
Sebastian Myers
>Get in, get changed into swimsuit
>She drove there in hers.
>Still has not showered.
>Tell her to rinse off before getting in
>"No that'll just make my hair frizzy.
>Get out to waveless lap pool
>It's packed.
>There is already a line of like 4 people to share a lane
>I get us put on the list and she's pissed
>"I didn't know I'd have to wait in line."
>"I just want to exercise."
>"We won't get a lane together."
>"Jeez, how long do these people swim for! OMG!"
>Everyone can hear her loud complaints and I'm beyond embarassed
>"We wouldn't have had to wait in line if you were ready on time."
>She get's super huffy and becomes passive aggressive as fuck
>K just starts making snide comments about why do I even need a gym, I'm thin.
>And wow, I'm so focused on my health it's making me a bitch to my friends.
>You play such a goody goody, but you're just a backstabber.
>"I bet you just brought me here so you and your fit friends can laugh at me."
>New gym.
>Don't have any friends yet.
>At this rate, I won't either.
>this breaks me.
>She goes and sunbathes
>I cry quietly while trying to not be a nuissance to anyone
>Our names finally get's called.
>By now the sun is getting high.
>We're in different lanes, I start swimming laps
>K realizes she has to share and is offended
>She Starts swimming anyways using a floating devise.
>Does 1 lap for ever 4 her partner is doing.
>Her Poor partner has to swim around her because she takes up 80% of the lane
>After K's done 12 laps, she gets out and comes looming over my lane
>"I dont' want to swim laps anymore."
At this point, I just want to get my workout in.
>"Well, do something else. I have a workout to do."
>She goes and plays on her phone in the shade.
Jace Kelly
>Get out after a while and decide to try again
>Ask her if she wants to do some water walking
>They have an elderly waist deep pool just for this.
>She says okay.
>So I start walking with her.
>Ask her how her dieting is going.
>"I've gained weight it makes no sense."
>"My doctor is upping my thyroid medicine, the stuff they're giving me isn't helping."
>I ask her about her diet.
>She lies straight to my face about it.
>"I eat way healthy things. All the time."
>I've eaten so many salads, I'm basically a vegetarian."
>Tell her about mfp, say I'll help her set it up
>"Nah, that doesn't work for me user. My thyroid."
>After 10 mins, she's ready to get out of the pool and sit in the hot tub.
>I'm over it at this point, my patience is gone.
>"Fine."
>She goes and sits in the hot tub for a while and I go in and shower and change.
>As she's coming in, I can tell she's mad.
>"You wouldn't even hang out with me, I don't know anyone here. You made me look like a loser."
>"I'm sorry. I just gotta go. I have stuff I need to get done today."
>"Well I'm gonna go home then too. I can take a shower there."
>She drove home in her wet swimsuit.
>She probably got fast food on the way.
>She definitely complained about working out so hard with her jealous friend on runescape.
>She probably didn't shower until Monday.
>She calls me up the next day complaining about how her clothes don't fit and now she is sunburnt
>I never, ever, ever, invite anyone to go to the gym with me ever again.
>ever.
Benjamin Barnes
WTF is wrong with a backpack? I wear one 99% of the time when not indoors. I'm 38.
Brayden Young
Liam Hill
Caleb Butler
Adam Hernandez
Charles Sullivan
Justin Nelson
is this what bulking is?
Elijah Sullivan
Matthew Anderson
>Helvetia.
Not having comic sans plastered on your stomach
Caleb Evans
Id let her sit on my face after a shower
Leo Jackson
Usually I don’t buy the “But I’m addicted to food! Like a drug addict with drugs!” But when I read shit like this I get it
Elijah James
>you live in a society
>bad metaphor
>bluepilled
>implicit judgements
I'm wearing my fucking coca cola polar bear bag to work, despite the opinions of prissy faggots.
Nicholas Morgan
>is this the end?
noooooo please more!
Eli Robinson
I also need more “Crabs in a bucket” stories
Grayson Adams
>Believing that beast showers
Comeon user
Robert Cruz
the level of delusion required to write this must be inhuman.
Jonathan Hughes
I'm afraid so, original poster only posted those 2 stories.
Christopher Thomas
worked in consulting where I thought this was the case HOWEVER all the boomer partners realized how comfy backpacks were and ended up buuying bougie tumi $500 backpacks galore.
backpacks are GOAT
Juan Gutierrez
Benjamin Williams
RESIST!
William Lee
>a glass of buttermilk for lunch
Eew, buttermilk is bitter by itself.
Colton Carter
made me smile
Justin Garcia
Jaxson Lewis
It also says a lot about how they view foreigners (assuming this wasn't written by a troll trying to see how ridiculous he can make his story before the tumblr community calls bullshit)
Gabriel James
Eli Nguyen
i'm amazed nobody has drawn this one yet
John Morgan
Easton Bailey
Nolan Cox
Cooper Miller
It is crazy how to these people hunger is an emotional state of being. How can anyone be this insane?
Luis Sullivan
If that's his hand, I don't think I wanna see the rest of him
Jordan Anderson
>that smug grin
Carson Murphy
Thought that was a dudes back at first.
Hudson Green
I might try and draw it, but it's long enough that if I'm gonna do it well it'll have to be posted in a future /fph/ thread
Gabriel Bell
John Fisher
>she is about 5.57
Hey fat bitch, this level of detail is unnecessary. Also, don’t mix decimals and our glorious imperial measurement system, that’s metric as fuck
Kayden Phillips
Isn't half a bottle of wine like
one glass?
I don't drink whats the deal
Levi Green
this bitch look like wayne knight
Robert Kelly
This person learned an important lesson. Forget that that "gotta help a friend" mentality. Most fats are beyond help.
Jose Wilson
>>"We wouldn't have had to wait in line if you were ready on time."
>>She get's super huffy and becomes passive aggressive as fuck
women are all passive aggressive
I wonder if she noticed herself being passive aggressive.
Blake Thomas
kek, look at this cope. dude, you will never be a REAL Scotsman
Angel James
I can't even tell what part of their body that is.
Logan Johnson
upper gut
just above the belly canyon, but below the boo
ooobs
Camden Jackson
I would rather fuck wayne though.
William Gray
This kind of stuff is extremely difficult for me to read. My brain automatically filters out the retarded language they use so I have to go over it a few times to really grasp the extent of their stupidity.
Jack Johnson
Damn, dude had a chad face hiding under that fat.
Joseph Young
Aah yes, I see the bra now.
Andrew Barnes
he is just bulking
Isaac Morales
L-LONDON
Caleb Thomas
>tfw your ass is on backwards
Samuel Turner
Someone dosent know the how important a back pack is.
I have 2. One with shit i need day to day. And one with my radio, gun and other shit il never need but hope to.
Get on my level pleb
Brandon Moore
She's not even that huge, how can her panniculus be that gigantic?
Charles Martinez
That's temptation of biblical proportions. Fats are literally Satan's children.
Liam Adams
>filename
Easton Diaz
Fit wouldn't laugh at the backpack
They'd laugh at his calves
