ITT: Retarded shit you've done while horny
I'll start
>be 14
>stay at my grandparents house for the weekend
>all of a sudden get really hard
>go to the bathroom to rub one off
>lock the door and begin fapping
>notice furry carpet on the ground
>think it would feel great fucking it
>soundslikeaplan.avi
>roll it up and begin fucking it
>shitfeelsbad.jpeg
>dick starts to burn
>loose my boner
>walk out of the bathroom ashamed of what ive done
>MFW I fucked my grandmothers carpet
lmao you got athletes foot on your dick bruh
>tfw you see a shitty image crop you made on Jow Forums like half a year ago reposted
Th-thanks OP
Shit greentext though
>fucked an orange
>fucked a cucumber
>fucked my friend's sister's panties
>fucked a plastic bag
>fucked a roastie
>put mom underwear
>installed snapchat and just started sending snaps to guys
>waste like 2 hours getting dick picks and sending pics of me fingering my asshole while wearing my mother panties
>be on bus terminal with ex pratical gf
>kissing until her bus arrives
>crazy horny went to the bathroom and started beating it, dude on the stall next to me saw the reflection on the floor, offered his hand
>went ahead and let this guy jerk me off
>be on mall hooking up with this fat chick
>its summer her armpits are sweaty and Im so horny
>ask her to let me lick her armpits
>she lets me
> be me
> be 14 year old beta
>onehorneyboi.jpeg
>out with some friends
>see a tree with a hope in it
>idea.rar
>tell my friends I'm going to take a piss
>fuck the tree
I probably did get this from you because i got it from Jow Forums half a year ago aswell
I jerked it in a hotel bed lying next to my mum once
Weird shit and not to do with horny (not mine at least) but I lost my v card in the same bed next to my mom. Gf started getting all frisky and mom didn't give a shit and was just reading a book. I was creeped out but got pressured by gf.
>jerked off to porn while sitting in a CHAIR.jpg
>around 12 yo
>beating it all day long, as you do
>always do it in the bathroom because shared bedrooms
>cum on toilet paper, flush it, rub my dick dry on the fucking curtains
>after a few weeks the stains were very noticable
>have a genius idea
>''mom, theres these moldy spots on the curtains in the bathroom, probably from the moisture in the air or something. you should probably wash them''
>just a fucking row of dried up, crusty white spots in a row, all at hip height
>she looks at them, takes them to the washer without a word
>thought it was the perfect crime
>mfw she obviously fucking knew
Ur mom probably licked it clean that's what my wife does for our twelve year old
I let a girl put a collar on me then fuck me. My moans would make her sooo horny that she would not stop.
Your gf wasn't bothered by your mom lying in the bed?
Apparently, they had conspired together about it so that mom was ok with it. I think she was just happy I finally got a girl and was losing my v card.
If they conspired why didn't mom leave the room then?
Smells fishy
> had a tinder date
> she is enthusiastic and asks me when we go to hotel
> i just sit on the bed and she suddenly blows me
> AFTER that when i was horny she said she is ln her period and if i mind
> i said its ok, thinking it will at worst be a bit blood
> she bleeds like mad and the whole bed and cock and balls are red
Never decide something if you are horny guys
How did it smell?Did you gag?
>be me
>on nofap
>lay next to chubby grill
>too horny and drunk, talk to her
>cuddle a bit, bump her
>feel her pressing against my cock
>like the feeling, but eventually stop because I don't want to regret it
>almost lost nofap to chubby girl
Nah it didnt really smell, it just looked like i stabbed her from inside
The poor hotel towel, all red
I laughed my ass off at this. Thanks user