Damn, so Julius Ceasar was a manlet too. Was he the oldest historical robot?

Damn, so Julius Ceasar was a manlet too. Was he the oldest historical robot?

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hi what's a robot? what's electricity? what's a computer?

>successful conqueror and leader
>robot
He was a full on Chad, you idiot.

julius Ceasar was a manlet yes
but he also was a military genius and one tough motherfucker
i bet he would despise robots

>Gets killed by his wife's son

Augustus Caesar was also 6 inches shorter than the average roman male at the time.

Julius Ceaser was too intelligent to be so self-conscious and self-absorbed

>oldest historical robot
No, that would be Caligula.

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>First, when the pirates demanded a ransom of twenty talents, Caesar burst out laughing. They did not know, he said, who it was that they had captured, and he volunteered to pay fifty.

>Then, when he had sent his followers to the various cities in order to raise the money and was left with one friend and two servants among these Cilicians, about the most bloodthirsty people in the world, he treated them so highhandedly that, whenever he wanted to sleep, he would send to them and tell them to stop talking.

>For thirty-eight days, with the greatest unconcern, he joined in all their games and exercises, just as if he was their leader instead of their prisoner.

>He also wrote poems and speeches which he read aloud to them, and if they failed to admire his work, he would call them to their faces illiterate savages, and would often laughingly threaten to have them all hanged. They were much taken with this and attributed his freedom of speech to a kind of simplicity in his character or boyish playfulness.

>However, the ransom arrived from Miletus and, as soon as he had paid it and been set free, he immediately manned some ships and set sail from the harbor of Miletus against the pirates. He found them still there, lying at anchor off the island, and he captured nearly all of them.

>He took their property as spoils of war and put the men themselves into the prison at Pergamon. He then went in person to [Marcus] Junius, the governorof Asia, thinking it proper that he, as praetor in charge of the province, should see to the punishment of the prisoners.

>Junius, however, cast longing eyes at the money, which came to a considerable sum, and kept saying that he needed time to look into the case.Caesar paid no further attention to him. He went to Pergamon, took the pirates out of prison and crucified the lot of them, just as he had often told them he would do when he was on the island and they imagined that he was joking.

This, he was beyond alpha male

>historical robot
Impossible. Anyone remembered by history could not be a robot. They are the forgotten nobodies.

so the pirates gave him luxuries and befriended him and he just destroys their lifes?

>one of the greatest orators of all time
>military genius
>had many mistresses
>rallied thousands behind his leadership
Yeah thats gonna be a no from me chief

While I'm tempted so say you have the trips of truth I'm pretty sure Elliot Rodger is going to be remember for as long as post-industrial society is around.

First he's not a historical figure. Second, few remember him outside of Jow Forums.

Greeks were the original /b/ tards

Reading Ancient Greek texts sometimes feels like I am on Jow Forums

Caesar is the original Chad
Fucking hell, many languages have a variation of his name as the word for emperor.
Alpha as fuck.

There's still news articles being made about him, thanks to the incel hate bandwagon.

forgot to mention the part where they captured him for ransom

Romans were jelly of the height of nordic and celtic chads, so they conquered. First beta uprising in recorded history.

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the romans were all manlets you dumb shit

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>The Chad Julius Caesar vs the Virgin Vercingetorix
I don't think Caesar could be further from a robot if he tried, stay seething NCRposter

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Yet they didn't actually harm him in any way. They didn't know who he was yet he they treated him like a friend basically. Seems like they were just impoverished and looking for a way out and didn't want to harm him really. It's a disgrace he had them executed for basically nothing

"Et tu, Brute?" [Some guy named Gaius]

You idiot. Gaius Motherfucking Julius Caesar is the Chadest Chad in history.

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Alesia proved him to be one of the best commanders ever, honestly the twin walls were fucking brilliant with how he could be sieging and defending at the same time

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>it's another pseudo intellectual thread bastardising history
If you haven't read Julius personal accounts of the wars (PenguinnClassics), that of Plutarch and a PhD historian I suggest you fuck off and never put a historical name in your mouth ever again

The twin walls weren't what won the battle, it was the lack of Gaul discipline, communication and the German auxiliaries flanking the Gauls when they assaulted the walls

>tfw you'll never meet cleopatra

>it's another sperg getting triggered over a shitpost
no wonder your a robot

>piracy and kidnapping is nothing
Crucify yourself.

Oh no I happen to post on the board r9k what ever will I do?

Atleast I'm better than
>''rofl guys hannibal had elephants lmao''
>''Italians r bad @ war lmao''
>''Ceasar was based lmao walls''
Pop history is killing my history libido

Cringe, hold still for a minute

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LMAO INCLUDE ME IN THE SCREENCAP ROFL

Post some examples please. This is going to be fun.