ITT gain goblins

>deprives you of your sleep
>stings you on your hand or under your feet hurting your performance in the gym
>gives you diseases
>steals your precious blood

worst gain goblin there is. Prove me wrong. Protip: you can't

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>takes your blood
>takes all those extra calories with him
>helps u shred

They're alright

this is why i spray myself down with DEET based repellent before i go outdoors

>GF convinces me to do 10km obstacle course with her
>not really a cardio guy but not a OH SHIT I MCDONALDS BULKED lardass and in terrible shape either, why not
>she is convinced i'll gas out because I do cardio like 10 times a year, she does it consistently
>in the actual race, have to wait for her constantly because she's gassing, only made worse by having to run penalty laps due to not managing 50% of the obstacles (to be fair a lot of them were pretty acrobatic/climbing focused and required a good deal of relative upper body strength in addition to reach, gf is manlette)
>I complete nearly every one through sheer muscling and zero technique
>fuck up my left shoulder 2-3 times while doing said exercises because I have no idea how to safely do this monkey shit
>badly tear the fuck out of 3/4 of my callouses, as in blood is spurting teared

1+1/2 week later callouses are almost completely healed, shoulder pain is nearly completely gone, but holy fuck that was countergainductive

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Worms are definitely worse gains goblins. Anything that lives inside you other than brobacteria is a worse literal gains goblin. Worms also makes me question my belief in God

>posting this in every thread on fit

Stop

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The worst gains goblin for a natural is masturbation, and at this point that's pretty undeniable so I'm assuming you're a ProFap shill. That said, I am very glad to live in a civilised country without those creatures...

I hoped you dumped her for being such a physically useless sack of shit

>not permabulking

for each sting I eat one snickers to get my weight back

Oh my God I woke up at about 4:00 AM because of the itching. My forearms had red dots all over and I found only 3 of these cunts. Winter is coming...

bro i have so many stories like this

>go to surfcamp with gf, her idea
>basically a resort where some surferdudes teach you surfing and smoke weed with you
>tells all of her friends how we are going to be pro surfers etc
>she eats shit for 3 weeks straight
>twists her ankle on a fucking 1 feet big wave (fucking how)
>complains that i never surf together with her (the instructors take me to bigger waves)
>posts thousands of pictures on instagram of her exiting the water on a perfect sunset with a board in her hand
>doesn't even go in the water the last week anymore, still wants me to take pictures of her with boards

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friends and me go rockclimbing and camping, one friend brings some chick with him
>we drive out in the wild 3 hours
>show her how to use a harness etc. she giggles a lot and tells us its like in a james bond movie
>she's really bad at rockclimbing, but that was to be expected, no biggie
>we teach her how to secure somebody and explain to her that we are literally putting our lives in her hands
>she secures my buddy
>her phone rings
>she still has her fucking phone in her pocket
>while rockclimbing
>she actually lets govof the fucking rope and pulls out her phone
>if my buddy would've fallen down in that very moment he would've died
>almost cries when we all freak out and rush to her
>expects the guy who brought her to defend her when we berate her for almost killing our friend
>gets visibly upset with him and sobbingly starts yelling at him "i don't know how to do this" "it's all your fault" and similar stupid shit
>later she rips open her hand, no biggie we want to tape it so she can continue climbing
>freaks out over bacteria or some shit
>refuses to get it taped, doesn't want to continue
>watches us for the rest of the time
>literally climbed for 5 minutes in total
>see a pic of her climbing and a long ass text on how nature calms oneself and we take time to enjoy nature way too rarely on instagram the next day

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hahahaha the last line. Why the fuck do girls do this. Their whole social media persona is made the fuck up.

>Having a dependant belay without an auto
/assisted belay device or other form of backup.

Why would you take such a risk?

women are a meme

makes me glad I still use a shitty old flip phone that can't connect to the internet famalam

>grabs her phone
aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA

Bro take me climbing. I only do it indoors because I have no friends

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Why were you putting the life of a good friend in the hands of somebody inexperienced like that?

>on a camping trip with my entire extended family that we do every summer
>go for a hike with my cousins
>i brought my 6 month old puppy on the trip with us
>he's super excited to be on his first hike so we fuckin book it up the mountain trail
>reach the top before anybody else and chill with doggo
>cousins start to catch up
>timetotakepics.png
>the last cousin to make it to the top takes her shoes and socks off and poses barefoot
>see an instagram post a few hours later about nature and how she did the entire hike barefoot
>beta bitch boys super impressed with her
>lol and go back to chilling with doggo

They probably figured that when you tell someone DO NOT TAKE THIS HAND OFF THE ROPE EVER that they'd use common sense and not take that hand off the rope

I got stung by a wasp on monday afternoon and woke up middle of last night with fever/delirium and seized up joints. Didn't sleep all night then nearly fell on my face doing squats today. Wasps can just get fucked tbqh.

>gf is manlette
>manlette
>ette
>XD

>Sleeping peacefully
eeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee
>Your whole night will now be dedicated to finding and destroying one fucking bug or else you know you will wake up with a bunch of bites.

Mosquitos can fuck themselves