/Mires/ general

Stroke posters are getting way more common lately. I notice that threads with one post getting hundreds of reaction picture replies has as well. Is there some sort of reddit raid going on?

>be me
>went to doctor because of some mild shoulder pain that's been lingering
>in exam room and doc walks in, she's a 8/10 hottie
>smiles at me and asks me about my shoulder
>"well let me take a look and see what we have, user"
>the then asks me to take off my shirt
feltgoodman.jpg

I thought i was having a stroke
Doyou smell toast?

>yesterday
>doing hammer curls beside the bench rack
>söy looking dude that somehow mogs all the big guys at the gym was using the bench press
>leaves, doesn't even take off his plates or clean the bench
>continue my hammer curls
>notice gym crush number 2 looking at my direction, number 1 was not there yesterday
>"damn, bitch can't stop miring my hammer curls"
>she continues looking
>during my last set she starts walking towards me
>get nervous and try not to spill spaghetti
>she says hi
>I say GREETINGS
>asks me if söy dude was still using the bench press since the plates were still there
>"lmao no haven't seen him since my first rep"
>she puts the plates off and start benching without pl8s
>continue my routine
>go home
>lie to myself that she was miring me instead of looking at the bench rack for confidence gains

Attached: yeehaw.png (437x418, 215K)

Do you look good enough to deserve them?

>rent cabin with friends
>Canada so cold as fuck already
>it has a hot tub
>we all get our beer on then decide to get in
>had to take a shit so I’m the last one in
>pull shirt off in front of tub
>get in
>a girl in the group immediately tries to snuggle up to me “to get warm”
>bitch it’s a hot tub
>she starts rubbing my dick under the bubbles, no one can see
>get boner
>everyone starts to get out
>she keeps looking at me like she wants me to do something
>trying to think how to get her in my room without being obvious also I have a tree in my shorts
>everyone gets out after a bit
>decide fuck it, best way to do this is head on
>stand up with massively erect penor, drop shorts and waggle it side to side to entice her
>forget there is windows in cabin
>everyone sees me there smacking my dick against my hips in my pseudo peacock dance trying to seduce a girl who just touched my dick for like 10 minutes
>everyone dying laughing
>don’t get laid until the next day
>it becomes the new in-joke in my friend group
>feel like a fucking idiot but it’s a mire, right?

Attached: AF755E6B-E0DD-4344-A609-094E172FE285.jpg (896x960, 107K)

It's fucking Alpha bordering on sexual deviant user. Good job.

Fuck you I have an ugly face but you people told me I would get mired if I work out

Attached: 318271da980706f7a18a811c3456a77d[1].png (633x758, 16K)

>being a facelet
Why are you even still alive?

I ask myself that question very often too

Based stroke poster

Not with actual drinks because that is not a thing here in europe but when i was a bit younger milfs liked me a lot... Like a lot . I have a cousin and with him we sought the milf pubs and every week we had at least our cock sucked by bored wife of someone

Retard

10/10, barbarian-tier alpha

She was actually miring u and trying to open a conversation with you u fking mongrel.

Next time do the same thing to her... Ask some random stuff... Example wow its hot today outside.... And if she likes you she will certainly reply no matter how stupid you sound... Them only make open ended sentences and questions... And smile like stupid.... Always smile when talking to femoids

If you fucked her the next day its ok... If you fucked any other girl that saw you while waving your little dick then its amazing...

The problem is I suspect you didn't get laid at all lmao

>standing outside dive bar smoking
>two drunk girls come out and stand directly behind me
>one grabs my ass and says "damn boy its thicker than mine"
>they both laugh and walk away

My first mire ever since dropping from 283lbs to 230lbs and I don't know how to feel

Attached: 1507497969826.jpg (1186x791, 52K)

>be at a house with two girls
>girls are occupied, I am asked to buy some food
>go outside
>rain.gif
>when I get home, my shirt is soaked
>the girls say "you have another shirt right here"
>I remove my shirt
>speechless_mires.avi

Honestly, this feels like a Markov chain post.

Fatass

>working bis/tris in gym
>Boobjob mom has been doing workouts near me all morning
>she's in good shape but I don't like tan skin
>I'm that autist thousand yard stare gym guy
>Noise cancelling headphones and everything
>She's doing donkey kicks on a cable
>I'm adjacent doing Arnold curls
>"Careful, I might hit you ;)"
Nah, your legs aren't that long
>"Is that a short joke? ;/ (note confused winky face)"
Every one's a short joke to me
>Realize what I just said
>headphones back on
>Resume Vietnam flashbacks
>Curl away the autsim

What's wrong with me Bros? I have a gf and I can act normal with her, but I say the most arrogant, autistic shit to other females.

Attached: 1536424763464.jpg (640x701, 45K)

>Everyone's a short joke to me

Attached: 1522811863625.jpg (267x323, 7K)

The fuck were you supposed to say?

>hurr hurr yeah baby, mind out or you'll hit me and then I'll have to punish you *wink wink*

Women always assume their attention is wanted. You fucking schooled her.

>Everyone's a short joke to me
6"4 here, gotta remember that one

Attached: 1533467541466.jpg (320x454, 74K)

>bis/tris
Story disregarded

>everyone's a short joke to me

Brutal. Powerful. Simple. Anyone over 6'2 should drop this line when they get a chance.

>Everyones a short joke to me

Attached: 1449746669524.png (322x467, 161K)

NPC post?

>user thinks he's an autist
>is actually alpha as fuck

Kek good job bud

Attached: 1528214928267.jpg (700x519, 192K)

>visit friend
>he has a grill over whos a common friend, havent seen her in 3 years
>greet her
>hey, you have to see how buff user got
>starts taking of my shirt, i put up minimal resistance
>shes silent, says how big my chest is
>sit with them and talk for 2 hours
>during the entire time the girl is touching my shoulders, hair, etc
>pretends her neck is sore and asks for a massage
>tells me 2-3 times how pretty i am

literally my first mire

Attached: 1318434987874.png (300x163, 4K)

Same girl
>we’ve been talking on and off for a few months
>things had never escalated past kissing
>cabin trip
>hot tub incident
>that night we have a big group outing to the only decent restaurant
>come back to cabin and play drinking games
>everyone turns in
>next day we’re hiking
>she sticks close to me and we talk together the whole time
>that night I go into her room
>she’s in bed awake
>start stripping
>she says “finally”
>smash for 2 minutes, cuddle/sleep

11/10 alpha

>DYEL mode, probably 18-20% body fat
>friend posts a pic of himself on discord and asks everyone to ask their female friends if they'd bone or not
>I do the same to join in
all the responses I got for me:
>took my pic next to a lifted F-250
>everyone just says I look like I'm 5'2
>they say I look like a jock-douchebag
>"just some frat gym-rat"
>he looks jacked but he looks mean
>get super excited some one said I looked jack

>later that night one 50 year old poker friend said I looked buff as hell
>"every week I see you, you look like you're just booming. It's like I'm watching you grow in front of me."

Even though I lost last night, I'm feeling decent about the compliments. Doesn't mean much yet though.

why do people keep on asking if they smell toast?

maybe the kids parents had connections or the gym staff were passive as you said and didn't like the curlbros either

I remember this post. Good for you, user. They may think you're the gym's Zhang Fei.

If you say so bros, if that's being alpha then I guess I shouldn't worry about it. I still pity them though, is it normal to pity women?

>be me
>bachelor party for friend we are all in club
>bachelorette party walks by, 3 of them surround me and start groping me
>omg you're hot
>end up making out with bride to be(let this be a lesson to you anons, they're all whores) and got a handie from one of the bridesmaids after we left the club.

>girl is looking at different dumbells confused
>im curling
>she asks if 2 clearly different dumbells weigh same
>i say that idk
>she asks same thing to her friend

Its not mire because im tall lanklet dyel but its still weird that she asked me that instead of her friend who is shorter than me but atleast somewhat looks like he lifts

How else do you think they got this far...

>some frat gym-rat
This dissonance between how normies talk about fit people online and in person is hilarious.
>lifted F-250
You did that to yourself, though. Most women don't seem to have very good sense of scale.

I know, so the short jokes were funny on circumstance. Still. I feel good knowing that people's first impression of me when they see me is that I work out. It's a heavy step in the right direction.

When I was bouncing a bride to be asked me to go back to her friends place to give them a private show, then gave me her number, if they weren’t fat idve had a great story but it’s still a reminder... if she breathes

lmfao. Alpha af user.

2min masterrace
Good job man no need to feel bad about your 2min rocketfuck

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
'Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I'm a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

I kissed a bride once
>all women are whores
I saw a dog attack a 3yr old kid once
should we kill all dogs too?
I have a friend that was raped by her dad when she was 6 years old. Do we #killallmen?

Yes we kill all men you racict bigot

Next time you encounter a vegan, tell them we should kill all animals so they stop suffering.

People tell me I’m handsom all the time, I really don’t know how to respond so I just say “I know”.

Seems like the most Jow Forums way right?

Attached: A745E6F4-C146-4D2D-807A-3621A5BF9081.jpg (640x656, 88K)

I think you are lying to me dude, Jow Forums told me girls don't go for dyels, but there might be some truth on your words since I am socially inept and the only way I can tell if a girl is into me is if she gets naked and grab my dick. will try saying hi to her today

>run a family business on the side
>installed security cameras all over
>if there's a qt I'll walk by her and go pretend to work on something
>after she leaves, go back to sercurity camera and watch footage
>when I walk by watch them rubber neck so hard and stare at me while I have my back turned
>watch as I make my way back towards her she casually moves in such a way that we cross paths, ask her if everything is fine and if she needs any assistance

It's like God mode. If a girl is hanging out in your presence for a curiously long amount of time, she probably wants you to engage her.

Pasta from yesterday

>Who knows, could've been my future wife.
This is me whenever I see a cute girl mirin yet still to scared to do anything.

It's in our biology to pity women. It's their greatest strength.

What makes a bar better for finding milfs?

Because they go there expecting to be approached. If you come up to them at the grocery store, one of you is gonna spaghetti.

>Charisma: 10
>Intelligence: 1

Attached: 1536612331578.png (450x453, 131K)

Attached: 1536797757744.png (351x371, 86K)

>Short thick black girl
>For some reason every time we talk she puts her hand around my arm.
>Fast forward after summer break we talk again and she does it as usual.
>Wow user you've actually gotten really big.

One of my thousands of mires.

I walked to the gas station in my white trash neighborhood for the first time since moving and some girl that my friend I was with knew was there and asked for my number. I don't even really remember how it happened, she's kind of cute in a unique /b/-like sort of way with short hair, pale skin, cute nose etc etc. Hung out with her that night and got drunk. She might not have been traditionally attractive but damn was she wet and a freak

>people will actually marry a bitch that wants to have a bachelorette party
thats a big YIKES from me

>ask girl in class when this other class tomorrow will take place
>she was sitting a bit far away
>she responds then gets up says ill site there and sits next to me
>dont even really know her
does she wants it brosephs

I live in a town that gets a lot of regional tourists. Bachelorette parties downtown are where I slayed most of my pussy. It's like the whoreness increases exponentially when friends, alcohol, and a strange city are involved.

Its just so stupid to me that guys let their girls do this, and vice versa. If you actually love each other then why? If you're gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties, you should have it one party together imho

this era of men will either be about helping fully destructure society or taking it back. Finding a good woman is not an option for us. Hard times ahead

It's like reading a Youtube Poop

>in gym
>ran a bunch before lifting and a few sets into incline db press so got a wee pump going
>walk to water fountain, pass by a goth looking girl in impossibly tiny shorts doing donkey kicks
>arched back, juicy butt
>i look at her unapologetically as i pass
>the kind of stare that will either be creepy or chad
>she stares back
>im back on the bench i was at, and she comes to the one right next to me
>starts struggling to adjust it, bends over with her ass fully in my face, like she had to change her stance to get it there
>asks me to help her adjust it
>i adjust it with minimal effort and manage to maintain my spaghetti through the brief back-and-forth
>return to my workout
>notice her glance in my direction now and then when i move to a different area
>feels fkn good man

nice job m8, I wish there was an easy way to ask her number or snap in t hose instances

>drunk kiss girl
>sort of talk to her in snapchat for like 6 weeks
>”lit spent 20 mins in your shop today, asked if you were working. Just want to see you”
>mfw she’s 15 and I’m 20 and ain’t going near that again

>be me, just now
>19, 6' with a beard and decent gains
>skating back to dorm after lunch
>wearing bro-tank and shorts because it's hot af
>qt italian RA comes around the corner
>visibly checks me up and down, slight smile
>Nod and smile back, she blushes a little
Picked up my day considerably. How's your day going bros?

why thank you
i have a gf, which fortunately makes it easier to stay cool and collected and appear uninterested in such an instance, but if youre tryna, I can't help but feel like the most alpha thing to do is just straight up ask yknow?
Like at that point if you've really misread the situation and it goes poorly, i dont think you'll be seen as a creep or anything (provided you ask in a civil manner) since she approached first, and if it goes well then the mire is even harder right?

yep

I have 7-8/10 girls throwing themselves at me every day. Yesterday I went to get a coffee with my bro, some girls stopped by because they knew him, and maybe after 5 minutes one of them outright said she would fuck me

I'm neither bullshiting or am I delusional. Despite everything I haven't fucked since January. I'm moving to China this year and it's only going to get worse

I think this attention made me crazy, If a girl asks me out I either make up an excuse or just tell her to go fuck herself. I had girls starting to cut themselves because I didn't give them any attention. One girl had to stop modeling because she carved my name on her forearm, and afterwards everybody thought I made her do that

You don't want this life. It's a curse. I'm not kidding, this is terrible, so much attention will make you heartless

Attached: 1241108425076.jpg (720x718, 48K)

>arrive at the queue in the shop
>behind a couple, the girl's decent, maybe 6.5/10
>see through my peripheral vision the girl turning her neck 180° and eyeing me for like 10 seconds straight
>stoically stare blankly ahead to deny her the dopamine hit of the attention

And I'm fat, so idk what to make of it. Maybe she just wanted to annoy her bf

your friends are probably jealous of your confidence. i would be desu

>get gym crush on this thicc bitch
>we do the staring at each other without making it obvious game but we both know we stare at each other
>finally talk to her and get her name
>next workout she brings in some new guy I've never seen before (shes a reg) and is sticking on him like flies on shit
>completely avoiding me now or making sure I see this dude working out with her
>FF 2 weeks later to this Mon
>I go to the gym earlier than usual now to avoid her or be finishing up while she just arrives with her friend (girl) she's always with
>now it's super awkward
>in the corner of the gym doing some shit completely empty
>she and her friend make it a point to workout right next to me within arms reach
>move a little
>trying to avoid girl when I notice her friend is smiling staring at her

First time I feel bad since it felt like she brought the dude in specifically cause I talked to her once...like I'm ugly or something. Just don't like that she tries to workout near me even though we both know it's awkward between us now..hell even when we accidentally catch eyes and have to say hi to each other it feels awkward

Attached: IMG_52828608248991.jpg (540x720, 39K)

> friend upload snap story of me
> her 8/10 friend who works at my gym ask her if we're dating
> "no"
> "I see him at the gym a lot and he's so hot"
> friend responds "text him" with my number

we're going on a date on tuesday and im laughing at all the manlets and boomers who try to talk to her at the gym today

Attached: 1532291507495.jpg (938x1250, 152K)

mmmmmm i think you might be reading into it a bit much. It only sounds awkward cause youre insisting it is.
If you guys talked once and it was chill, I definitely think youre wrong to assume you both are aware of a mutual discomfort now.
I'd say try saying hi again next time, seems like it should be chill.

post height, face and body please

>out with some coworkers last Friday
>one of the qts gets super trashed and begs me to stay out super late (already 1 am, been out for five hours), decline
>she texts me after telling me she thinks I'm cute, next morning tried to play it down by claiming she only said it because she was drunk
>invite her over to smoke some weed and play mario kart (bitches love mario kart)
>after a few rounds, netflix, grab her and kiss her
>fucked like rabbits for two hours, didn't cum (t-thanks cialis)
>she's coming over again tonight

>Cialis
Why do you take that?
Are you old as fuck or have any problems?

Do it another, Take the jailbait. Roll the dice.

Nice pasta

tfw haven't got any mires this entire week, wtf is this brahs?
usually get a few here and there daily, but if i dont get any tomorrow im going on a mental breakdown

I rather not, although I know I lose credibility that way. I used to trip on fit like 3 years ago, I would definitely get recognized

But I'm barely 5 11, I have a masculine face and body, Quite hairy. Lots of scars, I did some stupid shit back in the day, it''s basically the reason I'm moving to China now. Been training for about 5 years now

Sorry I can't post my pics, but I don't want to start a shitstorm. Most people on fit probably think I'm dead already

How about stop your feelings bullshit and treat her like any other random stranger you say hi passing by. It's what she is too you. You don't know shit about her why make her out to be more than she is.

>so me drunk molds are in the lobby while I wait for the elevatorstory's
Mad stroke gains.

>Fat powerlifter sees me DLing 230kg at 73kg bw
>Wow. You are really strong. Where are you from?
>Me: Iceland
>Oh. That's why you're so strong!
I'm in Greenland and he could tell i'm not a native. Felt good, man

Fuck off with your Facebook periods