Fellow robots, how does this picture make you feel?

t. bucko

Barring rare mental illnesses, these extremities are only representative of how you feel in the current moment, not of your actual desires. It's not impossible to reintegrate into society, to relieve yourself of your perceived alienation and to rediscover how satisfying it feels NOT to be lonely.

Robots and wizards could try to go down difficult paths more rather than giving up on themselves like this, it's just that giving up is easier and probably more satisfying in the moment. It takes a long time to recover from a genuine outcast but it's absolutely very possible for most of us, but the first step is to actually believe a solution exists. Distancing yourself from "normal" people like this rather leads to the opposite.

Maybe I have a rare mental illness.
>how you feel in the current moment
No I always feel like this.
I don't want to reintegrate into society. There's the element of fear and anxiety but even aside from that I don't see much value in it. You have to make an effort to maintain social relationships, they're a huge burden and require your constant involvement. Sometimes I feel lonely, most of the time I don't. What makes me feel like shit is the fact that I'm considered to be human garbage by everyone, and the occasional >tfw no gf, but that's pretty much it.
>Distancing yourself from "normal" people
They annoy me. I don't like happy or enthusiastic people, they're obnoxious and exhausting and make me feel uncomfortable.
My issue isn't that I'm struggling to re-integrate into society, it's that I'm struggling to figure out if I even want to considering I probably won't even like it.

>Maybe I have a rare mental illness.
Maybe you do, or maybe you're making excuses because it's easier. That goes for most of what you said. What do you really have to lose from attempting to socialize? You'll end your life with less seasons of anime watched or less video games cleared from your backlog or something? Don't demand everything from yourself at once. It's entirely possible to have a small group of introverted friends and a girlfriend who's completely okay with you wanting alone time.

>a small group of introverted friends
I don't get the point.
I'm too selfish, probably. Once in a while I'll want to receive validation and talk to someone but most of the time if I have to hold a discussion I just want to fuck off asap. This goes for the gf part too, I want sex and physical affection, basically to be validated, but I don't want to take her out or live with her or meet her parents or whatever bullshit relationships involve.

>It's not impossible to reintegrate into society
No it isn't, but, depending on your personality, is it really worth it ? Having to walk on eggshells so the past experiences won't happen again, and the whole cycle begins again, it's much better to stay in your own hole, feeling the same level of pain, than leaving and feeling worse just to come back again.

>But good people won't do that
Good people will do that, bad people will do worse, It's natural that certain events will happen, and you will display that pathetic individual that you are, like it or not.

The only way an outcast can join society it's by changing their core, they can't be themselves, "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.".

Everyday I wish I could stop caring, and just live my life like a machine.

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I wish I could become a travelling loner, just hopping on trains and seeing sights. Not tied to any place, not having to talk to anyone except hotel receptionists, just going around and observing things.
Too bad I'll never be rich or courageous enough to do that.

Go outside? For what? To see a bunch of people staring at their phones?

Don't respond to the attention whore, m8

Where was the advice? That wasn't advice that was me calling you stupid. Stupid

Since you asked OP - blog post incoming
>wahhhh I'm different, but everyone should conform to me. The world is not a two way street.
Like I understand the loneliness, but I don't understand why they give a fuck about the "other people actually enjoy being around other people" I mean why the fuck does he care? Why is it such an affront for other people to have a different preference, I find that incredibly hypocritical because he probably complains that people won't leave him alone - well it's a two way street. Live and Let Live to use the normie cliche.

The smart thing, as faggy as it sounds, is to revel in one's individuality as a sign of rarity and specialty rather than simultaneously wallow in a unhelpful pit of despair over one's anomalous nature while simultaneously denigrating and longing to be one of the plebby masses. As much as I understand jealousy and depressive behaviors are incredibly pervasive, they have to at least have the self-awareness to realize it's not helping them to cling to that attitude.

Good post, I actually agree. It's hard to detach yourself from the way of thinking you described though. I'd like to be completely comfortable with my solitary nature, but I think I'm bitter over my way of life being either mocked or considered disgusting by everyone else.

>but I think I'm bitter over my way of life being either mocked or considered disgusting by everyone else.
Do you honestly consider it a way of life, as in a choice you made. Or an accidental circumstance you've fallen into? At the risk of being extremely glib you have to reconfirm to yourself that being alone and solitary is a life you've chosen - that it's 'the best way to live FOR ME'. And really interenalize and believe that.
I'm making a gross assumption here, but I'm gonna assume that the bitterness is because you feel some kind of doubt over it. You assume that because you're the statistical oddity that you feel that there must be 'something wrong' - which is a terrible assumption.

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Why you have to post this?
Sad

>Do you honestly consider it a way of life
It objectively is. I could've chosen to not ghost all my previous friends; I could've chosen to agree to take part in social activities in college; etc.
I didn't, partly because of anxiety and my own problems with self esteem and all that, but also because it felt more natural for me to stay alone.
>the bitterness is because you feel some kind of doubt over it
Yeah absolutely, because I can't be completely sure. Considering I'm a wreck of a person, even if I were naturally social, I couldn't bring myself to be.

I think the issue is that a lot of the people who get overly pissy about it have watched way too much TV and movies and have an extremely idealized view on said matters. They delude themselves into actually thinking those cheesy movies and shows reflect reality and the more they watch that garbage the more they move down the rabbit hole. So the problems they may already have get artificially worse with that idealized utopian view. Thats just my 2 cents though.

Do you mean to tell me that normal people aren't like the OP pic describes?
Even without the TV/movie conditioning that constantly puts relationships and party life in highlight, normal people very much do behave in that way or at least strive to. I had a guy tell me when I was only seventeen that it was kinda weird for me to still be a virgin.

>every time you leave the house you are SURROUNDED BY THESE PEOPLE

I realized this on the bus going to work one day. Literally everyone around me had sex, the old lady, the two teenagers, the junkie, literally everyone except for me. This realization has now kept me home for months. I can't go outside, I'm not like them.

ooga booga technology bad me hunt mammooth

>Even without the TV/movie conditioning that constantly puts relationships and party life in highlight,
How would you know that if you don't hang around with normies? You can't trust the media - and that includes their highly curated, socially influenced self-depictions (spell-check suggested 'self-deceptions' - apt autocorrect!) on social media that you interpret to be more extroverted and gregarious than they really are.
Like 80% of normies free time is spent watching TV or browsing online stores. The only difference is that their significant other might be next to them on the couch. Have you SEEN normie couples on a weeknight? It's the weirdest fucking thing because they just sit there, treating each other like the furniture except for the part where they go
>hey babe, since you're up, can you get me a glass of lemonade?
I understand, they're tired. But still it's odd to me.

(Normal) people have just as many issues as robots do, only they hide it behind partying and alcohol more. Again, all of this shit is extremely idealistic, that isnt to say it doesnt happen but most people arent going to have what the OP pic describes, and if they do sooner than later theyre going to hate whoever they are with and either cheat or live together in misery. Im talking more about shit like relationships though, I would imagine being a virgin past a certain age would make most scratch their heads. But I have in various places and locations been surrounded by normies and to an extent robots/cyborgs, believe me when I say the huge majority of them are faking it, in large part because of the media. I know this all sounds really faggy but thats just my experiences.

>How would you know that if you don't hang around with normies
Well as I said I have some (limited) experience with them.
They're genuinely baffled if I tell them I've never had a gf, or feel anxious when talking to women, or that I don't drink/party. They think it's weird at best, creepy and abnormal at worst.
>treating each other like the furniture
I mean that happens but it's not 100% of a relationship.
If they're faking it why do they act so outraged when they're confronted to a loner's lifestyle, and take shit like sex and affection for granted?

>Transform from a sad virgin to a sad virgin with a clean penis and clean room
Nice

>tfw the date of that screencap is more worrying to me than the contents of the post

I've already accepted that I'm "different", but I feel like time's going by way too fast these days, so it's kind of worrying to me that 2014 was already 4 years ago.

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>Considering I'm a wreck of a person, even if I were naturally social, I couldn't bring myself to be.
Why is social efficacy tied up to your other negative self-perceptions?

Sounds about right - look up 'Preference Falsification' and 'Pluralistic Ignorance'. Some interesting research was done about perceived binge drinking and sexual partners of college age students. And similar results found for High School students (over)estimating other cliques friends numbers (hint, all cliques are roughly the same size!!!???)

>Why is social efficacy tied up to your other negative self-perceptions?
Because having low self esteem and other issues inevitably affects the way you interact with people.

>They think it's weird at best, creepy and abnormal at worst.
In the same way Cat owners are baffled when people say they prefer dogs, or weirder still Ferrets or Budgerigars. Or when Boomers want to know how you can't like Abba but will listen to Justin Beiber.
People, normies especially, lack imagination user.

>why do they act so outraged when confronted to a loner
Because they feel they have to be a certain way and follow all the current trends, whereas most loners dont. That being said most people can still get laid, even loners, so to see someone in their mid 20s or whenever who didnt get some action and not because they dont want any can be a bit weird to some.
I dont know about other schools, but at the school I went to there were next to no cliques at all, except for maybe the band kids and atheletes. I only saw that shit happen on those stupid sitcoms.

>most people can still get laid, even loners
Those "loners" are still socially normal enough then.

So if I'm understanding you right, even though you feel being solitary is a natural and good fit for you because of your general low self esteem and stuff you feel that this is all tied up with your anxiety in social situations, that it's kind of spilled over into this other shit?

There must have been cliques. A group of like 4-5 people who always hang out in the same spot in the same circle of the school yard? It doesn't mean they were hostile or antagonistic. It just meant that was their crew and you would sometimes see other people float by so you'd think "wow Tim is so popular - he even talks to Lucy, wow!" not realizing that it's a casual and unimportant social interaction that Lucy and Tim have with dozens of others.

>you feel being solitary is a natural and good fit for you because of your general low self esteem and stuff
Not solely, I also feel naturally good when I'm alone regardless of my problems.
>it's kind of spilled over into this other shit
I guess, yeah. Basically I want to be comfortable with the fact that I'm a loner but social standards and expectations make me feel like garbage since I have thin skin and probably a victim complex, so every time someone brings up relationships or "being normal" I sperg out.

I have no fucking idea how to form intimate relationsips. I have friends, I'm not anti social I just have no fucking clue how do you talk with girls.

I get the vibe that for a very long time you've been told by insensitive people stuff like "pfft why can't you just BE normal?" and that's the reason you have such a strong response to when people bring up this shit. Am I close?
What do you consider makes you, or anyone, a worthy person? Is there a criteria you could spell out?

Literally me.

I've always been weird so I learned to hide it to a certain extent when I was in school, but my parents still bugged me about it.
I get irrationally frustrated or insecure whenever people talk to me with an "expectation" of normalcy, or implied disdain for people who don't fit in. Even on the internet that happens, as pathetic as it may be. I take it really personally when someone calls me a loser or whatever.
>What do you consider makes you, or anyone, a worthy person?
I really couldn't say. I tend to like people who have a broad view of things, and tolerate and respect things they might not understand (insofar as it doesn't affect them).

At least you're really self aware about how irrational these reactions are. That means there's hope for you to mellow our your reactions to them - unfortunately people will always be ignorant or impose their expectations of normalcy, even after they've known you for a whole. The best way to deal with it is to treat it as sort of background noise.
But maybe you need to figure out why it's so intertwined with your self image and then a means of untwining it. Do you think you're a person who has a broad view of things and tolerance and respect of things they don't understand? Do you think you stand up to your own values?

>The best way to deal with it is to treat it as sort of background noise.
>why it's so intertwined with your self image
I think the issue comes from automatically assuming other people's opinions are valuable or objective, when most of them are most likely garbage, especially on the internet.
>Do you think you stand up to your own values?
That's what worries me, I hate hypocrites yet I think I might be one myself. I'm a walking contradiction, and being introspective while retaining some sense of objectivity is difficult.

By the way it's quite difficult to not let it get to you when "you're a virgin therefore your opinion is worth nothing" is pretty much a valid argument on this website and elsewhere. It's like your sexual/life experience and your overall worth as a person are indistinguishable, which some people justify by saying that failing at your biological purpose == being worthless.
I realize I sound like a thin-skinned faggot but that's how it is.

>valuable or objective, when most of them are most likely garbage, especially on the internet.
Yes. This is 95% of the time true. Yes.
> I'm a walking contradiction, and being introspective while retaining some sense of objectivity is difficult.
A lot of that is your own poor self image throwing you off-kilter. No one ever measures up fully to their own standards, but the healthy ones, as long as they can see their progress I think are able to kind of deal with it. They have a 'growth' attitude rather than a "fuck I'm a useless fuck-up and that's all I'll ever be, it's fated/genetic/written-in-the-stars/capitalism" or whatever keeps that negative thinking.
>By the way it's quite difficult to not let it get to you when "you're a virgin therefore your opinion is worth nothing" is pretty much a valid argument on this website and elsewhere.
But most of the people on this website probably know less about losing their virginity (if that's even a priority for you) than you do.
>It's like your sexual/life experience and your overall worth as a person are indistinguishable, which some people justify by saying that failing at your biological purpose == being worthless.
Do you believe that? I can give you a dozen reasons why it's utter fucking bullshit, but I'm more interested in why it gets to you so much.
>I realize I sound like a thin-skinned faggot but that's how it is.
Sounds like you know you shouldn't place so much weight in these retarded arguments but still can't find a way to divorce yourself from their impact? And I know that's difficult to do when that's all that you hear, coming from every corner.

>95% of the time true
How do I integrate that fact without becoming a pretentious fuck?
>your own poor self image
Yeah I suspect that this is the cause for most of my problems. The issue is that a lot of people seem to have standards for others but not for themselves. I expect a lot from other people and I try to expect as much from myself ("try" being the keyword here). Maybe it's excessive.
>I'm a useless fuck-up
This is true by society's standards, the only thing I need to do is detach myself from them.
>most of the people on this website probably know less about losing their virginity (if that's even a priority for you) than you do
Why do you say that? I don't know shit about sex or relationships.
And even though it's not a priority since I make zero effort to change it, it still bothers me.
>I can give you a dozen reasons why it's utter fucking bullshit
Please do. I have a vague idea but the biological argument is always hard to argue against.
>why it gets to you so much
Feelings of inadequacy. The main one is having been unable to achieve what 90+% of people go through naturally during their teens, which makes me feel unattractive, unwanted, whatever.
I understand that in itself it's not that important, people go through these things at a different pace etc etc but the lingering thought that it's something natural, healthy and fun for most, while for me it's an alien and foreign concept, is depressing.
Like I'm defective or something, and that it's ok to be ridiculed because of it.