/SIG/ - Self Improvement General

Unless you have already become intimate I doubt she sees you as someone she wants to fuck and has mentally friendzoned you.

I'd say it's 50:50 right now. I'm still having fun and she has a car to get me places so I'm getting something out of it. So I'll just see how things go for now and be more apt to call her out on her bullshit.

If i feel like my time management and money management is all fucked up, should i quit my part time job while i go to college? In my last semester, and feel like it's really not worth expending my efforts at a grocery store when it just causes me stress and i feel like i don't have the energy to hunt for a real job.

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Where do I make close friends to go camping, hunting, innawoods, mountain biking, etc. Church?

if you're american unironically reddit

What if he's american ironically?

I hate how much I say it user, I started using it when a lot of people on Jow Forums did, then it became a filler word, now I can't stop also I meant
if you're american, unironically reddit

Just wanted to recommend loop habit tracker for android (you download it from fdroid or the play store)

best habit tracker by far, lets you set routines so if you only workout 5x a week it accounts for that when it's generating statistics, can tell you how often per year you drink alcohol, track what days you usually skip exercise or meditation, can even remind you to do them

not a dev or anything just struggled with finding the perfect habit tracker in the past, you can even export the data as a backup or spreadsheet

github.com/iSoron/uhabits/blob/HEAD/README.md

I can't lift longer than a few months, life aways get in the way. I can't read longer than a few weeks, and I read slow. I can't study, only under the pressure of tests comming in a few days.

How do I build discipline from ground zero to Jocko-tier?

Don't want to go on plebbit

why?

>> What do you strive to do in life?
I have no clue senpai. That's a question I've been asking myself a lot lately.
>> How can you be more compassionate, and thus, a better person?
I work in tech support, so I'm trying a lot harder to empathize with people when they bring their issues to me, no matter how dumb or retarded they are.
>> What is your daily/weekly schedule like?
I work an inconsistent schedule alognside school, so it's hard to have a set schedule. I'm trying to get better at planning out my day the day before, and possibly some at the beginning of the week. I'm also trying to make a concentrated effort to do a deep clean of my room every Sunday.
>> What is your 1, 3 and 5 year plans?
Within 1 year I want to be starting my IT career, preferably in network security. I also want to be down to at least 240 lbs from my current 280, though if I shoot for 2 lbs a week I should be able to reach at least 200 by next September.
After 3 years I want to be moving out of a junior role wherever I'm working.
Within 5 I want to think about branching into management.
My career aspirations are important to me, though they may be a little unrealistic. In any case they're what I'm dedicating myself to striving for.

I feel a lot of the people who frequent that website, who would also be the ones I connect with, would be absolutely nothing like me.

depends on what subreddit, like how certain parts of Jow Forums are completely different with completely different types of people

> What do you strive to do in life?
Happy
> How can you be more compassionate, and thus, a better person?
No comment
> What is your daily/weekly schedule like?
Weekdays work 9-5, go to gym and study, spend weekends with a gf I kind of want to breakup with.
> What is your 1, 3 and 5 year plans?
1 Year: Have my 5 year plan worked out precisely
3 Year: Have a very solid grasp on the language I'm studying and a Job I don;t hate
5 Year: In a job I'm proud of and feel happy with my life.

>What do you strive to do in life
HAHAHAAHAHAHAH I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I'M DOING, BUT THAT'S KINDA WHAT MAKES THIS SO EXCITING
>How can be be more compassionate, and thus a better person?
I've been reading a ton, and am currently studying for an English major. If worse comes to worse, I can become an English/Social teacher, and do my best to prepare the next generation, to make them avoid the mistakes I have made, and have them live happy lives.
>What is your daily/weekly schedule like?
I wake up around 6:30, run, or lift, depending on the day, on the train-ride to school, read a book, study, go to class, come back home, go train (Muay Thai, again, depending on the day, it's getting pretty hectic at school at the moment, and so I'm trying to get ahead so I can train more), come home, eat, relax for a bit, talk with my family, maybe play some vidya, and then do a bit of stretching before bed.
>What is your 1, 3 and 5 year plans?
For now, finish school, lift, keep training, and slowly work on my YouTube channel where I talk about autistic shit that I'm passionate about. I try to take it day by day, and not worry too much about the future. It's just way better for stress that way IMO. I've also gotten into grip training, and I'm currently trying to close the #2 captains of crush grippers. YOU'VE GOT THIS SHIT BROS.

> What do you strive to do in life?

I want to build a family i never had. My parents were fucking everyday autistic bout' everything arguers so i never falt like in home. Thank god they divorced when i was a kiddo. I have a smart amazing, caring ang loving girl. I want to have a happy, stable and warm family.

> How can you be more compassionate, and thus, a better person?

I practise being casualy nice to everyone daily. Everyone thinks that I am a "good guy" and likes my presnce so far.

> What is your daily/weekly schedule like?

Depends what shift in work I have but I train almost daily (1 rest day a week 1 or 2 hobby days ((freeride city lineskating)) and I allways start my day with 30 min dog walk ang big healthy breakfast.

> What is your 1, 3 and 5 year plans?

Buy a car, improve my mental strenght and overall fitness. In a year i plan to propose to my girl. We are like 3 yrs together.

I' am very happy with my life since i started being a Jow Forumszen. I lost 16 kg and i started to see more and more muscle on me.

Cheer's to all of you bros.

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If you want to get good at fighting you have to join a club and spar. There is simply no way to build the muscle memory you need to keep a clear head during an actual fight if you do not regularly spar. Anything you do at home will simply be exercise and technique, but if you cant keep a clear head during an actual fight it will do jack shit for you. Boxing gyms are pretty cheap, find one.

Would learning technique at home then joining a boxing gym work?

So I've recently come into a discovery. I'm in a long term (6 year) relationship with a great girl that I can see myself with for life. I have been lifting 5-7 days a week for 3 years - lost 25lbs and am quite muscular. I've got a great GPA in university and switched from a major I hated to a major that I enjoy more and is just as practical. I don't work a lot but I make good money with what I do (weekend job and it's not overly stressful).
In otherwords, I have a great life on the outside, but I've discovered I'm kinda just coasting along and doing what's expected of me. I don't really have any set goals that aren't merely superficial and I couldn't really define what values I have in my life. Any tips on soul-searching or how to really isolate what's important? Obviously I'd say my girlfriend and family are important as well as lifting (I'm in the gym for 6-7 days for 2 hours because I thoroughly enjoy the gym). Yet these aren't goals or values in their own right, just things that are "important" to me. I've also taken a new view on money and "things" in general and money used to be a big motivator in my life but now that I realize chasing it won't add value to my existance other than superficially, I feel lost.
Any help or guidance is appreciated. Thanks bros

That could work, although if you build any bad habits in your technique it would be difficult to break them. I would recommend taping yourself going through the motions to avoid this, but it is no guarantee. What is stopping you from joining a boxing gym AND practicing technique at home?

Just join a gym that offers classes, you could try to learn from videos, but its pretty tough to get your technique right if you can't get any feedback

>What is stopping you from joining a boxing gym AND practicing technique at home?
right now I'm really struggling to go outside
see above, I know learning in a boxing gym is better but it isn't practical right now

Are you jailanon?

nah don't think I post here enough to be anything user

im tumbling down bros, had a great summer on my own with lots of improvement and housecleaning, but seeing her recently flipped a switch in my head
now everything feels like im doing it for her instead of myself and no matter how much i struggle i dont seem to be able to flip it back
im fighting to not give in, but the tug of war in my head no longer feels worth it,

im lost

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kill the demon

I want to switch jobs because I hate what I'm doing. I have an office job - making calls, sending emails, lots of planning ahead, having a work phone and a work computer that I have to bring home with me... It's your typical 8:30 to 5 +2 hours spent in traffic. The pay is good, about 2 times better than the average monthly salary in my country but I feel miserable, this job is killing me.

And I'm afraid to quit. Every day I look at job ads, but I never call or send an application. Why is that? I've only been with this company for 11 months and I'm afraid of leaving. It's so hard to explain... I really don't care about that job

No job that makes you that miserable is worth any amount of money. Send out an application so something you enjoy more and see where it leads. Don't leave your current job yet, wait until you have something lined up, but don't be afraid to send out an app and a resumé to another job you know you'll enjoy more (don't confuse curiousity with enjoyment either. If you get an interview to the job or if they want to hire after just getting the application, ask EXACTLY what the job entails and decide if it's right for you)

>everything in life is absolutely great
>have everything I've ever wanted and plenty of free time to pursue worthwhile interests
>spend all of that time on Jow Forums

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>things are good now
>this makes life even more scary in fear of fucking it up when i still have so much to do and have so much on the line now
Everything feels like it's on the eve of destruction even though it just started to become stable.

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Anyone here do a schedule? This is very rough, I don't plan to follow it to the T, it's just to make sure I don't spend too much time fucking around. Thoughts?
Maybe look into some website blockers like Cold Turkey or something?
Keep strong user you'll make it.
I don't really have advice for that, that's an answer you have to find yourself.
May try this but man my phone is running out of space
I've been noticing this issue in these threads lately, no one has friends or knows how to make friends. I wish I could help man but I'm in the same boat as you.

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Well I certainly know Jocko doesn’t make bitch excuses like “life gets in the way” or “I am a slow reader” he just does it. Have you ever tried not giving yourself excuses?

Any tips for someone who just started uni?

If you don't make friends first term, then you will stay in an uphill battle for friends for the rest of your stay there.

I wanted tips on how to study because I'm a bad student. People seem to think I'm better than I am.

how do i get Jow Forums? i have awesome leg tone but i have a serious beer gut and a double chin. how do i work my upper body and get quick results?

Don't skip class, and the fact that you shower up doesn't count for anything unless you actively take the time to learn. Also, go to the library and if there's a silent section, spend some time there or just bring headphones. Set time aside to study and time aside for fun. You need to study but it'll be too boring and mundane if you don't at least enjoy yourself from time to time

This app is great, been using it for over a year. In that year, the habits I track have become more clearly defined and are now things I carefully chose to align with my overarching purpose in life. feelsgoodman.

Stop making excuses. You must continually connect yourself to the deepest reason behind why you want to lift and read. Your surface level reason for lifting and reading is probably because you want to get thicc and smart, your deeper why is the result of asking "Why do I want to be thicc and smart?"
So start asking yourself that every day because the first answer you think of isn't necessarily the only or best answer you can come up with. Find a sufficiently deep and meaningful answer that will make you want to lift and read even when you feel like slacking off.

Closing yourself off from possibilities is to royally fuck yourself. Hunt out this attitude and destroy it, not just in relation to your avoidance of using reddit. Be more open minded or stay a pleb. is right, the kind of people you'll encounter depends on where on the website you are.

Start by defining your values. Look up as big a list of values as you can and select the ones that resonate with you most. Then narrow that list down to 10. Then take that list and cross off hollow values like sex, money, fame, fun, happiness. None of those things are bad in and of themselves, but designing your life around them makes for a hollow life. If you had any such values in your list of top 10 values, replace those with more wholesome values from the bigger list you drew from. Once you have a list of 10 wholesome values, define what each one means to you. Then ask yourself how well you're living each value. Then write about how you would live each value to the fullest.
Then find a greater purpose in life that aligns with your values.
Then live your value-aligned life purpose to its fullest conclusion.

Ran out of characters. Neat.

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Pretty solid idea. I've thought about doing the whole "look at other people's values and borrow then redefine them" thing but it didn't seem authentic. Maybe I'll give it a try since your explanation of how to do it effectively makes a lot of sense.
t.

I got invited to watch Canelo vs. GGG tomorrow, but this is the first time I would be hanging out with these people. I am a little nervous about going, worried I will embarrass myself. I need to develop my social skills more, the host is the coach of my boxing club. What do you guys recommend? I have trained with these people before although never socialized beyond formalities.

hey, I feel like I need some advice but I don't want to waste a thread for that so I'll greentext here. Sorry if I'm a bit prolix, but I'm tired and this may read like a badly written stream of consciousness
>be med student
>really like psychiatry/neurology
>enter in a shitty self masturbatory psychoanalysis study group and a really good and productive neurosurgery/psychiatry/neurology one
>one of the guys there is Jow Forums and looks like a meth addict
>friendly mogs me because the other group is full of faggots and I take it easy and laugh it off
>he teaches neuroanatomy to some people that are 1 semester behind me
>go to one of his classes one day
>show off to some girls there
>dude gets a little annoyed but ok
>10/10 blonde girl seem really receptive but she is the kind-to-all type
>she discovers that I am from this psychoanalysis group which is a thing they have to study right now
few weeks later(today) she sees me on campus talking with a few friends and she says like
>"hey user I really would like your help and I'm going to text you so you can help me with this"
and I say
>"yeah any time, bother me whenever you like" plus some non autist shit
...
But I forgot to give her my number/ask hers.
what the fuck do I do bros? I can have her number over some pretext, for we are in a huge whatsapp group together, but I fear it would seem a little creepy.

pls respond

Oh I also had not realised that I had a chance with her untill she said bye and my fit chad friends looked at me like "dude you got game". Started to feel really stupid afterwards

Another way to buck the status quo of your life is to try psychedelics. A steady meditation habit of at least 1 month really helps to prepare for that. Research the fug out of the substances available to you, and if and when you order them, don't do them in a recreational setting. PSYCHEDELICS ARE TOOLS, NOT TOYS. I hypothetically do mine at home in an empty white room on an air mattress with the windows drawn, lights off, and door closed. If you plumb the depths of the human psyche, you may illuminate parts of yourself which are dear to you which you can draw on to help figure out what you can do to live a deeply meaningful life. You can also illuminate the worst horrors, the parts of your psyche you never wanted to see and have been repressing. If your mental health isn't airtight, I would consider just installing a meditation habit and doing some journaling about your values and how you want to live them like I described above.

You don't have to live like this. But the amount of work that goes into freeing yourself from the rat race usually dissuades people from freeing themselves from the rat race. Here's a video for you, user.
youtube.com/watch?v=yIsbVpBJ110

This is bait, right? Read the Jow Forums sticky.

If the coach of the boxing club finds out you're hot for his balls, it's all over.
jk. Learn to become more mindful and connect to the experience of every situation. If you get stuck in your thinking mind, it's easy to feel awkward. But if you learn to pay more attention to the people around you and the overall situation, you will learn to flow through social situations. When you're in the social situations, less thinking, more being.

Stop being afraid of failing. If you fail, there are millions of other women in existence. Find the most direct way to give her your number, then send it to her and tell her you meant to give it to her the other day and forgot.

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>Learn to become more mindful and connect to the experience of every situation.

There has got to be more to it than that, I am socially retarded, I have been getting a lot better although still need work, especially on conversing and with confidence.

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If you have been getting a lot better and don't have literal assburgers, then the advice i gave you + eating your fear for breakfast and going to the social function anyway should work just fine. You're attached to the image of you being socially competent and your fear of not living up to that is keeping you from being socially competent.

youtube.com/watch?v=U_o7g1J0RGw

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>have been browsing the same threads, boards, and videos for the past 7 hours looking for something interesting
>find nothing
>continue to idly scroll through pages until i go to bed
why am i like this
how do i stop being like this

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I might be drunk right now but ive deleted the girl that showed me the tiniest affection from all social media. Messaged her tonight and all i got back was a picture of some random guy, and i realised she doesnt appreciate me the way i appreciate her. Whats the point in living for someone that has no interest in you. FUCK HER. Fuck living for other people. Fuck living for her. This is my life. Fuck anyone else but my family. Nobody but close friend or family is worth my time. MOVE ON from fucking thots like her. Move on from your emotional insecurities. Ive had enough of being me. When i wake up tomorrow i'll get back n the trail and fulfil my dreams. Believe in yourself, lads. I love you all. lifes too short to pine about girls who dont give a fuck about you.

What are you supposed to do when there is a large part of you that knows you don't deserve to be ok? That you don't get to have a happy ending after all you've done to people over the years?

H E L P
>bench press
>shoulder grinds/pops out of socket mid-set
>can feel/hear the crunching as the ball slides out
>drop bar on myself
>shoulder snaps back in
>can’t move arm
>drive home with right arm limp at my side

What the fuck happened to me lads
What do I do

185, was going for 4x10
Set 3 rep 8 I snapped my shit up
Lifting 2 years never had an issue like this

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I'm taking four months for myself to get in gear. I do not know how long my father will be around and since he just fought a round of prostate cancer things are looking not too good. I want him to be proud of me for once in my pathetic existence. This isn't even about me anymore. I may have my own problems but I owe him this.

I'm a skinnyfat dyel 5'11 140 llbs. Probably 25% bf (picture all fat and bones). What is a realistic goal and then what is an achievable but hard to get goal? I'm integrating fasting every week, with intermittent fasting and daily fasts. And I am going on a wfpb vegan diet with supplements. I just need a finish line to visualize at this point. I think I can figure out the major goal myself.

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You have to master yourself
Are you employed? Find other ways to fill your time.
I work 10-hour days and go running/lift in the spare time. my computer stays off all week. You just need to replace the ‘free time’ with something productive.

Whether or not you deserve something is up to you. Whether or not you are a ‘good oerson’ is up to you. There is not ‘greater good’, no justice or balance in the world. It all comes down to the present moment, the handful of seconds in front of you at any given time, and a choice that is for you alone to make:
Am I going to do what I know to be right and be a sick cunt, or will I be a coward? We’ve all made mistakes user. The only thing you can do is change for the better and never give up on yourself from this moment forward.

How do I deal with a guy mogging me at work? He's the only one there who lifts and he's like 10 years older and thus mogs me in size and height. He will subtly insult my size or height at every opportunity. It's clearly intentional and I don't know what his motive is.

> What do you strive to do in life?
Make money, retire early, drive a fast car, buy my mom a house, make my girlfriend lose weight or leave her eventually, travel the world, raise a successful family.

> How can you be more compassionate, and thus, a better person?
Try to develop an interest in others. I dont have any interest for popular culture topics. It has to relate to work or the gym, unless it is investing or economics.

> What is your daily/weekly schedule like?
Do homework as needed, keep an eye on stock market, lift 4x a week, search for a job or internship.

> What is your 1, 3 and 5 year plans?
1 year: move back to Tampa and get an internship
3 year: Finish Accounting degree and land successful job as an investment banker, equity analyst, or tax accountant.
5 year: depending on how life is going hit up Law School if I hate accounting and finance.

I don't do anything fun. Drinking kills me, weed was a psychological dependency, and most of my friends want to drag me back into my vices. A lot of my friendships only stand on these vices because they are annoying faggots except for my one homie I'd do anything for.

everything except a job huh?

good luck

you study for 6 hours straight?

I work on the weekends as a waiter. Totally forgot to add it. Thanks user.

i'm a 28 y/o kv. All I want is to find a nice woman that I can start a family with. I have no friends, a mediocre job, and live at home (though I have enough money that I could move out and buy a house if I wanted to). How do I accomplish this?

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RIP

> What do you strive to do in life?
Build a better future and current state of living for concious life
> How can you be more compassionate, and thus, a better person?
Be more outgoing, stop mistreating myself. By letting my thoughts tell me that nobody likes me, I'm fulfilling the proficy by being a flakey, needy cunt.
> What is your daily/weekly schedule like?
Wake up, work, masturbate
> What is your 1, 3 and 5 year plans?
1 year) Find an internship and complete my degree
Meet more people
Learn to swim well

3 year) Focus my career and find a girlfriend
Work on triathlon performance, compete in an ironman race

5 year) Work towards early retirement, focus on living stoically.

>you study for 6 hours straight?
A lot of students do this.
At my uni it's very common that people enter the library at 9 am on a sunday and leave at 6 pm. The library is always full because of this.

I know user, just pulling your leg, I also do it more than I'd like to admit, it got to the point that whenever someone else says it irl I get highly annoyed.

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"fuck bitches"
What a nigger

>What do you strive to do in life?
To be a son my mom is going to be proud of and be a dad my children will look up to

>How can you be mor compassionate, and thus, a better person?
I try to break out of my habit of wanting to be isolated and overall try to have a good time with my friends and family

>What is your daily/weekly schedule like?
I wake up early and go to the gym and do everything in the household before I leave for college and after that Im tired and go to sleep. Gym 5 times a week and working on weekends

>What is your 1,3 and 5 year plans?
In 1 year I want to be fully settled with my gf (we have a weird phase), want to make new friends in college and live a healthy life
In 3 years I want to havey degree and hopefully I'll quickly find a job
In 5 years I want to be married with my gf and start building a family

Writing this down made me feel better actually, its my first time posting in sig, thanks op

Your prpblem isn't that good things are coming your way. Your problem is that you're too attached to them.
Wake up every day accepting the possibility that someone could harm you. That you could total your car. That you could lose your job. That your girlfriend could leave you. That any number of bad things could happen to you.
If you aren't prepared for these things to happen, consider that you still have work to do. Fortify your mind, hone your skills, practice spirituality, be self-sufficient. These are things that nobody can take away from you. You won't be buddhist monk mode but the closer you can get with respect to your every day life the better

> What do you strive to do in life?
To be as great a father as my father was.
> How can you be more compassionate, and thus, a better person?
Don't tread on the work of others, offer assistance and your skill if you can. Be the person that doesn't grow alone but grows with those around him.
> What is your daily/weekly schedule like?
>Wake up at 4:30
>Read, practice guitar and get ready for work
>leave at 7
>work until 5
>get home by 6, do chores until 9
>quick workout
>bed at 10

rinse and repeat, weekends are great because I can power through a lot of things that start to pile up and do longer workouts.
> What is your 1, 3 and 5 year plans?
>1 year, get promoted (already in the works) completely fill the niche at my company and securing that position and senior position further down the line.
>3 years, by this time I want to start learning a trade or switching my place of work, if the trade will have good prospect i'll slowly transition to it full time while doing freelance work in my current field.
>5 years...too much in the air at this point, but this is the time where I'd like to start settling down.

Was thinking about quitting weed cold turkey until my dab pen broke last night which solidified my decision