>"Jimmy claimed Asia liquored him up, began kissing him, pushed him onto the bed, performed oral sex on him and then climbed on top of him and had intercourse"
m.tmz.com
Does it tear anyone else apart from the inside knowing there's so much pleasure and fun some people are having and you're just rotting in the corner?
How do you reason that your life would be noticeably better from having this experience
It would be nice at the time perhaps, but it would fix literally none of your problems
Its not just about the sex. Its also the validation and the ability to get sex. Im slowly realizing how truly ugly my face is day in and day out. I wouldnt want any man to be in my shoes.
Your problem is low self esteem. The first step of getting past that is to learn to find validation in your self, not in clawing for validation from others. That will leave you constantly searching for something external to make you happy, rather than having an internal happiness that you can rely on regardless of external factors outside of your control
You will not get any happier from being validated by others through sex.
Says the person who had his first kiss during his teen years.
What about maslows hierarchy not being filled and barriers to self actualization ?
You don't know that, do you? You're guessing because it's easier to try character assassination than it is to consider what I'm saying
Firstly, I think it's not as clear cut as Maslows hierarchy suggests. It is a theory after all, not a perfect fit to everyone.
Secondly, I am not sure that 'having a pretty face' is on that hierarchy
It's literally my fantasy to get reeled into sex by a hot mature woman in a hotel room. And I think having that kind of experience as a memory to fall back on forever would certainly make me feel slightly better in the meaningless, numbed and miserable state I'm currently stuck in.
In short: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
How do you reason that? It would be a temporary pleasure. I'm sure even if you did look back on it fondly, it would make no meaningful difference to how empty you feel. Sex isn't a magic bullet and wish fulfillment is rarely as rewarding as we'd like it to be
I agree with the other user. Most of us are this way because we're trapped in our hideous bodies. We feel the infinite and we see beauty just like you do. But it's always distant and unreachable for us.
Having a prettier face or a better body would undeniably help ones worldview, happiness and self actualization. Having a hot mature woman risk everything just to suck your dick would too.
>BTW Jimmy Bennet is literally a manlet. I guess that's some semblance of hope for the manlets out there
I had my first kiss at 16 and I'm still a virgin at 28. I had my last kiss at 19
I believe I'm sad and numb most of the time because I haven't experienced the pleasure of sex. I've had a prostitute once but that's it. I'm 20 and been with a prostitute. Pathetic. It didn't feel like anything to me and I regret it because there was no emotion in it.
I can't explain it but I'm almost certain having loads and loads of meaningless sex based only in lust would make me permanently happier. I don't want to settle or fall in love, just keep on fucking till I wither and die. There is no meaning to life. Pleasure is the only tangible hook we've got keeping us tethered to the finite plane. Hence, there are only two ways of going about life:
1. Acquire as much hedonistic pleasure as you can before dying
2. If you fail to do the above you might as well end it.
Which is exactly what im going to do if I don't make it by 30 and would recommend to anyone reading this.
>Most of us are this way because we're trapped in our hideous bodies
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I posit that the sort of 'my body is hideous' thinking that festers in these communities is the result of a feedback loop rather than reflective of reality. It's the product of many depressed people with low self esteem looking to validate each others (and in turn their own) self loathing.
>Having a prettier face or a better body would undeniably help ones worldview, happiness and self actualization. Having a hot mature woman risk everything just to suck your dick would too.
They are temporary pleasures and external factors outside of your control. How do they help you in any meaningful way? Furthermore, how does yearning for them make you feel better? I think it doesn't, it makes you feel worse and reinforces the feedback loop I describe above
>I can't explain it but I'm almost certain having loads and loads of meaningless sex based only in lust would make me permanently hap
If you can't explain it, is it not fair to say it is an incorrect conclusion to make? Feels rather than reals?
>There is no meaning to life
I think there's a middle ground between 'there is no meaning' and 'life is inherently meaningful'. We apply meaning, that is what humans are very good at doing. If you find meaning in things other than hedonism you will most likely come to see things are not this nihilistic, nihilism is an incomplete conclusion. I'm sorry you cannot find anything meaningful but it is within your power to do so if you wanted.
I envy your ability to type huge walls of text without saying anything at all.
You are most likely attempting to teach self actualization concepts to someone who is trapped emotionally as a 15 year old. They need a solid year of therapy before they even begin to understand you
I think this is an attempt to avoid engaging with what I'm saying. That said I'll take you at your word and shorten it (hardly a wall of text, it's 4 lines but whatever)
>your body image is reflective of low self esteem rather than some inherent physical flaw
>you don't find happiness by chasing external stuff
Inherent physical flaws do exist.
Perhaps. I've had some success talking with people using this kind of approach though. I think for some, this kind of frank way of wording it helps. No harm in trying at least; if it doesn't help then they'll simply brush it off and go on as they were
I never said otherwise. I said I don't think that is the main problem you are currently dealing with.
But I'm not rotting. I'm having fun on my own. If you need someone else to have fun with, what will you do of you guys separate?
I'm the guy you were replying to in both those posts and I don't mind your walls of text. I appreciate you trying to offer me a seemingly better worldview and I'm desperate for meaning and philisophy. The other user is right I probably do have the emotional capacity of a 15 year old. But I guess that is to be expected when trying to live in a world where you don't fit in and feel like you won't ever be a normal part of.
I think it's simple and not an abstract concept of internalizing my happiness: it's based in biology. We are bound by our nature and as sentient mammals, our desire to sexually reproduce. The desire to mate is undefiably strong and my body just wants me to either kill myself or feel like shit until I actually do "mate".
I come from a position of having gone through similar issues myself for a very long time, though perhaps for different reasons. This is my motivation for making these kinds of posts; I recognize the kind of traps you are getting stuck in and it's quite frustrating seeing that and knowing that there is a solution for it. For now, perhaps just work on being kinder to yourself. The sort of language you use is often indicative of your self image, and you say things like
>don't fit in
>won't ever be a normal part of
>trapped in our hideous bodies
and so on. It's clear that most of all, you hate yourself. Again I have felt all of these things and I understand the pain it causes. What I am suggesting is that the way past that is in learning to be kind to yourself, not in desperately looking for others to be kind to you. I actually ended up getting married while working through these issues and it didn't help; I still hated myself, I still resented my body and I still wanted to die. Even if you get what you think you want, it most likely won't fix your self image issues.
It's not an easy process and I'm not saying 'just accept yourself bro :^)'. It's painful and hard, but I honestly think it's better than the alternative of wallowing in the kind of feelings you have now. I still have self image issues, I still struggle, but now there's other good feels there too. There's a balance that was not there before.
>We are bound by our nature and as sentient mammals, our desire to sexually reproduce.
I'll be blunt and say I'm not sure that is the case. Firstly because people are driven by things other than sex all the time, and secondly because I think such a view of sex is taught rather than biological. We have some biological drive to fuck, but it is not as deeply ingrained as you feel it is. That is social as much as anything.
Whatever the case, I think that's somewhat of a tangent. I was mainly interested in talking about your feels about your self.