Loneliness damages your health more than chain smoking and obesity

nhs.uk/news/mental-health/loneliness-increases-risk-of-premature-death/
Yeah dude this meta study of over 3 million people is total bullshit lmao

Being alone =/= lonely.

I come here to socialize.

>BUT I DON'T FEEL LONELY SO I'M FINE HAHA
>The researchers emphasized the difference between the subjective, self-reported feeling of loneliness and the objective state of being socially isolated. Both are potentially damaging, the study found. People who say they are alone but feel happy are at increased risk of death, as are those who have many social connections but say they are lonely. People who are both objectively isolated and subjectively lonely may be at the greatest risk of death, says Holt-Lunstad

how?

how do i get a gf?
Alternatively how do i get a loving family?

tfw gonna live in exile on a mountain

My generation is partially to blame, the lot of them just fuarkin suck.

>Video game addicts that post memes all day instead of communicate

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fake news

Well what the fucking do you want me to do. You can't just quit it like smoking or eat it at a caloric deficit when cutting.

You could become Bateman tier and still be lonely

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I will never trust relationships. It hurts so much. An empty coffin of a heart.

Loneliness like cold water poured down my head every night until I succumb to sleep.

Why do we crave illusory affection, love, beauty? Better to fulfill your life without chasing a mirage.

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Increases risk of death but they dont say why or what kind of death. Are they saying lonely people die from lung cancer at the same rate as smokers? Or die from heart disease at the same rate as fat fucks? This is stupid, living alone would obviously increase your risk of choking to death on food if you eat dinner alone, for example. Just like getting a pool in your back yard vastly increases your chances of drowning, or buying a gun increases your chance of getting shot. This study doesnt say shit really.

>People who are both objectively isolated and subjectively lonely
that's me!

m-me to

Two years ago i was unemployed and living by my self. I literally only went outside two times a week for a quick run of groceries, it was fucking hell. Got a job, started going to the gym, Things got a lot better. Stil not 100% on the social life but its getting there. I would get joint aches from being lonely and isolated. Like my joints would fucking hurt and if i went outside and someone smiled to me or said hi then i'd get a beam of positivity going trough my body. If i just acidentally brushed against someones hand or something i feel a warm sensation running trough my body then I'd go home and i feel better, then as time went by the effects of isolation started creeping in again and my body would hurt, my elbow joints, my toes. I cosntantly got flues and infections in my cinus, i had MAJOR sleep problems.

That shit is not joke

>Increases risk of death but they dont say why or what kind of Death
It increases mortality in all sorts of health related issues. It lowers your imune system, it fucks up your cardio vascular system, it increases cortisol, it makes it more likely that you'll get whatever diseases you are genitcally predisposed to.

Sorry for my poor spelling

> it increases cortisol, it makes it more likely that you'll get whatever diseases you are genitcally predisposed to.

And it makes it more likely that you'll die from whatever disease you get if you get it

If being around people you don’t genuinely want to be around still counts as being lonely then I’m completely fucked. There’s probably 0.0001% of the population I’d actually enjoy hanging out with and good luck actually meeting such people.

a really good relationship falls into your lap, but you still need to pursue it and you'll know when it is right to do so. you have to find your purpose, no matter how small or big you have to find your thing so that she can fall into your shadow, not the other way around. whether it is you garden an hour a day or start woodworking, or read and collect things. find something that makes you fulfilled and do good by triumphing over the weaknesses over yourself and your past accumulated pains. that will help you feel so much better to caress the past.

>not meditating and going monk mode
Lmao ok brainlet cuckstain

>thinking deluding yourself that you’re not lonely will save him
Lol ok

What about the really old people who get to live past 100? They outlive their kids (if they have any), they even outlive some of their grandchildren. Most of the really old people when interviewed tell that all their friends have been dead past 40 years, I would also imagine feeling even more isolated by people around you because you are literally from a different era: there is no fucking connection to anybody,

Extreme outliers like that are generally not useful when identifying trends. How many people live past 100 anyway?

just be yourself and go out to have fun xD

This but unironically
You fags are too self conscious

nofap/noporn actually increased my loneliness lol, I managed to surf through 10 years of my life based on pure autism, reading stuff, shitposting, sometimes vidya. But once I dropped the porn suddenly I desire females much more. Its giving me sleepless nights almost.

lifting
boxing
running
cooking
reading
writing
films
I gave you my hobbies, now tell me how do I make friends with them at the age of 25

>Turning 30 in less than a week
>No real friends
>Jow Forums is my main source of social interaction
Hold me

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Dame here but already 30
Got wife and a kid but somehow it made things worse

Well with sports, if you have similar goals, especially in running, you can get closer to other people. I experienced it myself. With running go join a local club, then go participate in local competitions. Having yours face be seen. Get strava too. Join the club activities. It worked for me quite well until I had to quit from an injury/ work stress.

With lifting...if you do strength. you already are part of an elite club of sorts. Just go talk to other strength focused people, some may even talk to you to comment on your form. Or give you mires.

With boxing...lol, if you spar, your opponent is going to be VERY personal to you. How can you not make friends in a sport that is a little bit focused on life and death.

Listening to Ajahn Brahm really opened my eyes, We are born lonely, most of our waking hours are spent alone if not >feeling lonely, and we die alone, essentially. But it is not this loneliness that is the problem. That's lonely suffering. Then there's "talking to people" suffering. Then there's "i don't have a wife" suffering. Then there's "having a wife" suffering. It never ends. The problem lies in how we relate to being lonely, or with others. You ever been with a group of people but felt really lonely? Have you ever been by yourself but you felt at peace?

That more or less sums it up. I really think it's in our perception. When I really think about it, I really love being by myself. I don't care if they see me sitting there doing something by myself, that's on them. Being with people is challenging but I can see why I would enjoy it too. The world is better when I listen to buddhist messages

Not him, but how did it make things worse?

>and we die alone,
to die alone means to lay in a hospital bed for months and withering away while nobody visits you. Or being in your apartment alone for 20 years while you slowly die. That is what dying alone means. To say that everyone does that is stupid. And you wheren't born alone, YOU CAME OUT OF A PERSON FOR FUCKS SAKE. You was literally one with that person to.

almost the same
i felt fine the past year or two, but lately it's been getting to me

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I just have had emotions starting up again after a very long time of I don't know what, depression I guess.
D3, zinc, iron (from deficiencies) and fish oil.
Way more time feeling in a good mood which is weird when I stop and objectively notice it, but nice. And thinking more clearly.
But also more time actually feeling sad; I just heard a song that's personal to me and it hit me so hard. Lay on my bed crying for half an hour.
And it's weird, having some emotions and feelings, and seeing some meaning in things instead of just being shut-off; hard to describe.

And yeah I'm feeling the loneliness now even more heightened, but it's something I'm used to at the same time. I don't even know where to start really, except maybe spending more time with old friends trying to hang out yet give excuses to avoid going out drinking with them.

I am in a similar boat, I managed to autism my way through 10 years without zero problems. And some day the emotions just hit me, just popped up out of nowhere. Probably a bit because of my ex, but still. I just wonder if I should nourish them, or try to autism back in. Because the dread is horrible. It also makes me funny and more lifelike I guess but christ, it can weigh down quite a lot

I feel like you re-affirmed my first point, that we die alone. In reality, I should have written "physically alone". I really do believe you can be satisfied and content in a hospital bed with nobody visiting you. About being born, that is the precise moment we start being physically alone, disconnected from our mothers and from other people. From the moment you are born till the moment you die, it's up to you to see yourself as lonely or satisfied.

I don't know how to express my feelings very well. The point is you have the power to change how you feel about being lonely or with others. And when you start feeling OK about either everyday, you're more relaxed, and talking to people is less of a challenge.

I used to have the exact same situation. I was more troubled than I am now. I refused countless calls and texts trying to get me to go out and have a good time, etc. I "wasted" opportunities with girls and friends in general. But I wouldn't change a thing. All of those were lessons for me to tear down my enormous ignorance.

There is a way to feel good about being alone. It might feel like that light is super far away, but it is there, and you can aim up to it. And when you start undoing all of that internal struggle, going out with others becomes less of a nightmare. These things are very important. The thought of having to go out used to make me physically sick sometimes. It's different now.

PSA: normie advice doesn't apply to people with assburgers or high-functioning autism

going out and having a billion hobbies won't help you, especially if you're a boomer

people will find you creepy/boring/weird and will always prefer other normies when socializing

best you can do is study norman's behaviour and try emulating that because there's no medical cure for autism
it will always be an uphill struggle

>because there's no medical cure for autism
I sometimes wonder what it would feel like. So maybe I'm not autistic because I can empathise or think about someone else's perspective?

This isnt surprising. I only don't feel like death when im with my wife. I long for my old best friend, and have such a hole in my heart for him.
Does it get better for pathetic co-dependent people? All i do is self improvement; I do all the self improvement. Im so aimless. All I want is to be closer to these people.

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I'm high functioning and I do all my socializing at work. Most of the time that's enough and I'm happy to spend my time off alone resting.

I just want something that tones down all my stupid senses. No more eyes hurting from light, no more headache from loud noises, etc

maybe you're an aspie
it's classified under the same autistic umbrella and has a lot of common symptoms

just how the fuck can you find a girl without a boyfriend

OP, this is why men die younger than women!!!FACT!!!

I genuinly do not understand Your point of view. Not being in the womb of Your mother does not mean you are alone. Being physically seperated from another person by not being inside them unborn does not make you alone. I am sure you can make a philosophical and existential case of that, but in real life and how the world Works, you are not alone because you are you inside of you and everyone else is also that. I think that sort of thinking is philosophical thoughts from Young people and Young people dont do philosophy very well.

You are Connected to other people, being in the presence of others changes you at a biological Level. Your core temperature, Your heart beat, Your blood preasure, Your digestion, Your mood, Your hormones, Your Chemicals in Your brain change and interact when you are With other people. And if you are not With other people that will lead to biological changes within you that are bad for Your Health in various ways and it increases Your mortality.

>it's up to you to see yourself as lonely or satisfied.
You are either lonely or satisfied? I dont think so, if you are lonely that sucks, i been lonely, it really fucking sucks and just accepting that using buddhism, meditation or whatever else to cope with that is not going to fix the issue. There is another option, that option is being connected with other people in real life.

I don't think you should change how you feel about being lonely, i think you should actually not be lonely.

And even if you are introverted and get tired of hanging with other people (i am like that) and you like spending time alone, you still social relationships in order to have a good mental and physical health.

>best you can do is study norman's behaviour and try emulating that because there's no medical cure for autism
this.
if you're "autistic" (most people here aren't actually autists, they just didn't develop the necessary social skills to function as normal human beans).
you should literally treat socializing as a hobby, just like lifting, reading or playing an instrument.
You sometimes will need to force yourself to go out and socialize, and realize it will take some time to develop what most normies already have. Reminder that cringe is the DOMS of social gains. Reminder that your brain is plastic and you can learn to do whatever you want despite how unrealistic it looks (at least to acceptable levels).

>become an underwater welder, if it doesn't kill you then at least you'll have the money and security to live comfortably and have interesting stories

I'm seriously looking into this!!!FACT!!!

on the topic of autism: You guys should watch Hugo's brain. Its was a pretty enlightening French docu-film about a fake boy growing into a genius pianist. The character was constructed by real autists they interview, so you get a lot of the world from their(our) perspective.

Its free on amazon video if you have prime.
HIT ME WITH TH AT FREE SUSCRIBE

Guys there's nothing wrong with emotions, especially now that apathy seems to be becoming something mise and more widespread.

Cherish your emotions, they're what makes you alive. Be happy if you're happy, and if you happen to be sad or mourning, at least try to appreciate the raw strenght of a real, deep feeling.

Don't go autismo bros, emotions are great

I'm 40 and you're here forever because there's no where else to go!!!FACT!!!

Oh, I agree with you. I think my post comes off as if I was saying that you should cope all the time. No, no, I agree with you. You should have a balanced life of hanging out and being by yourself.

My point was that you can feel terrible even if you do that, because your mind is powerful. You can feel like shit even if you have an active social life, also when you isolate yourself. So, that I suggested was that there is a way to be satisfied no matter what you're doing. But for an optimal life, I agree that you should have a balance and you should go out.

I used buddhist ideas to become what the guys at r9k would call a normie. I'm just sharing this because I think some people feel lonely and horrible, when they have to confront nightmarish hangouts and terrible feelings. It doesn't have to be that way.

>My hobbies aren't really social activities. This is more 'b urself' tier horseshit.
Huh, this sounds like the opposite to me
Take up a fucking social hobby or make one of your hobbies social

I actually agree With you to lol

Sometimes it feels like you guys at Jow Forums are the only ones who get it. It's probably not true, but it helped me through my 3 year depression. I just wanted to thank you guys here at Jow Forums.

Enough gay shit. Back to lifting. Going to work hard on my back today.

kill it bruh

>I just wonder if I should nourish them, or try to autism back in
No, nourish them. You still are able to harness the power of autism but it's good to feel. I do feel more inspired and creative along with them, more drive and want as well. Appreciate them, like watch Equilibrium or something if you're wondering.

That's the thing, I'm just now realising it like waking up from a dream, or seeing colour after a world of grey. So when emotions come it's kind of beautiful. Maybe I don't now what they all are. Regret, lost loves, lost selves, the world that was always there, the people I've been around, the people I've lost. And regret that I haven't felt anything or done anything about anything in such a long time. So even when I'm really hit with them and end up crying by myself, it's nice to feel how powerful that is and gives me hope.

A few weeks ago I cut all contact with an ex. For what it's worth: irst gf who I got with while I had terrible self-confidence, no social skills, couldn't ever fit in, probably autism; ended up in a co-dependent shitfest and I let myself be so effected by her behaviour that I basically shut myself down which just made me so much worse, and stayed codependent with somehow for another year and fucked up another relationship in the process.
I'm still reeling from the fact that I did this, but I know it is needed. That's really forced me to come around to facing myself, since we were still in contact oddly and I was pretty much brainwashed. Most important is getting rid of the feelings of love and good sentiments about her. That and I think the supplements are helping. Both have got me to go along way towards overcoming my anxiety too.

>There is a way to feel good about being alone
I do sort of see this. I can appreciate my own company more when I have feelings besides constant depreciation and anxiety and maybe, just maybe, value myself as a person with feelings.

I can see myself sort of "being myself" instead of just trying to fit in or guess what people want to hear, or ending up with social anxiety. I'm so used to that regret of missing out. Or more, being there but not really being involved. They are good lessons thanks and keep it up.

Suena divertido, mi amigo anónimo

I'm not lonely. If anything I have to many people in my life being a fitness instructor.

>cringe is the DOMS of social gains
this makes sense d e s u

What's your background like? I have a good job but would love to find a way to work myself into an instructor.

The problem is most of the faggots who have shitty social skills have self-diagnosed themselves with autism as an excuse, rather than there actually being anything wrong with them.

Saying you have autism for most people here is like fatties saying they have genetic/metabolism/thyroid issues when in reality they're just lazy and they eat too much.

>best you can do is study norman's behaviour and try emulating
Or you could use the internet to access all human knowledge and find a book or something that actually teaches you social skills. Because it turns out other people have already figured this stuff out and then wrote it down so you don't have to spend 10 years figuring out social dynamics from scratch.

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As someone who learned what autism was from being diagnosed I gotta agree. The term is thrown a lot more lately and it doesn't hold up in a lot of cases

You probably wouldn't though. In most cases there's a good reason why people are lonely. I, for example, am an antisocial Jow Forumstard who has trouble containing his power level. You most likely would hate my guts.

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Im 23 and Im fastly approaching that level. Only acquiantances are what I have. Close friends are long gone and some are dead. Im feeling lonely now will it get worse from hereon?

Dude I'm 25 and that is not the case.
Challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone now and again.
Reach out to old friends, join a club or community garden, join anything.
It'll feel cringy and lame at first when people say no or don't respond. People like to be invited to shit, eventually someone will say yes. Be a friend user, so that you can make a friend.

>be sociable, have fun, laugh and make others laugh, help out
>cease to exist socially after work is over

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>not sitting alone at your own table and having people trying to make friends with you

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not making friends probably saved my life. the heroin epidemic in my area will suck you in. nothing wrong with being prejudice.

Same here, having no friends in my shit tier high school got me into a good college, having no friends in college got me on the deans list in an honors program, and got me a job. People from high school are literally dead, in jail, or on welfare with a bastard. People from college are unemployed neets. I admit I have been neglecting my physical and social gains, but with effort and discipline, both can be fixed.

I'm trying

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>tfw alone but not lonely

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I'm alone but not lonely, am I ok senpai? It's not that I dislike people, I enjoy my time with other I just happen to enjoy time to myself equally.

>tfw not alone but lonely

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