What's the biggest thing you've ever stolen?

I don't steal, I respect property rights, faggots.

>was really drunk
>shitty time of life
>went out for a walk, began raining profusely
>decide to go car shopping
>dumb idiots left lots of cars unlocked
>made off with 64gb Ipod touch, expensive maglite flaslight, cannon point and shoot camera

Waited a good 3 months before selling them to a pawn shop so I could use the ol craigslist excuse if the serials came back. Never did that shit again. still have the flashlight

A kiss from you
*mwah*
Hyacinth #0421

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10 lego figuers from my local supermarket when i was 11

a redbull
looking back on it i shouldve stolen a monster

a future boomer here guys

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Fuck, I want to be that guy.

>posted a thumbnail
get out you zoomer

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except that they cost like 10% of what they used to, so you stole hundreds of dollars. bet you feel cucked.

I can't remember ever stealing anything.
Either I'm an unrepentant thief, or you have to be one of those... evil people... to consider thieving.

Food from my old job. Used to make myself food and then pile extra shit into the bag. If you do it casually and a little at a time no one seems to notice. I'd usually have enough food for my days off when I did it.

probably a bunch of Bunsen burners from high school cause I wanted to make bongs out of them

I didn't know you browsed Jow Forums

Newspaper. A4 sized paper. A textbook on experimental psychology. Earphones someone left behind at the airport.

Does torrenting count, Mr FBI?
I pirate about 120gb of media each month and some negligible amount of porn.

I once took some gum from a store, didn't realize I had it in my pocket.

Magazines, drinks from drink stalls, pc games

Classy. I've done this once before when I was a dumb little shit.

Hilariously, I always lock my car now, and a few months ago I forgot to lock it ONE TIME and my car got robbed. Thankfully all they took was some pocket knife.

When I was a little kid I realized a certain remote control car battery was like $20 at Target and $80 or so at Toysrus, like the pic but might have been a double pack. So I'd get my mom to buy the 20 at Target and return the 80 for store credit at Toysrus, then I'd buy whatever. She did it loads of times for me, until one time they asked why she was always returning batteries lol. By that point I was walking around Toysrus looking for something I'd want but I had got everything I wanted, so it wasn't a big deal. She had said she could get my dad to return them since it wouldn't show the history return (she understood it more than I did)

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Years ago I found a forum on theft where people would post what they found every night. Some of their stealing from stores was so intricate and impressive, it amazed me. It was like this underground club. You'd get angry lost prevention employees coming on giving tips how to bypass them.

Those flip cars are the best.

a kit kat bar when i was 9

ALL MY FRIENDS POKEMON CARDS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL HEHEHE

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you mean physically large? i walked out of walmart with a $20 stool lmfao

A candy bag

Wowe so cute

in my early teens (around 12-13) me and 2 friends stole a shit ton of warhammer figures from a hobby shop.

>its summer
>no school for 9 weeks
>me and 2 friends are bored
>get idea to steal warhammer figures because shit is so expensive
>ask them what they think about plan
>they are in on it
>me and one guy carry huge backpacks while the 3rd guy is there to watch the guy working there
>shop does repairs on modeltrains
>plan is that one guy watches the clerk there while browsing magazines and when we are good to go he makes a nice
>walk in there
>we browse warhammer figures and see what we want
>friend makes noise like clearing his throat
>here we go
>grab as much stuff as we can and put it in our backpacks
>shitton of blisters and stuff
>leave store and run to the bus
>dont go there for 5 years afterwards

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When i was in High school I would Take 3 or for pastries/ doughnuts from the Sainburys just down the road. Did this pretty much every break we had at school for like 2 years. Never got caught. Shit was cash

stole a 6 pack of paydays once

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Bad user, very bad

Are you and your homies black by any chance?

it was probably the "bad ideas" forum on zonklet (sp?)

Zigaretts worth 1mio $
>God loves me

Never stole anything before and hopefully never will, although I had a dream once where I stole booze from a hippy commune.

Why would niggers be interested in Warhammer Figurines?

NICE TRY, EFF BEE EYE.

nothing over $20, really.

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I have only ever stolen one thing.
>be me
>need a nice solid outdoor knife
>decide to go for a mora
>it comes with a sheath that you can attach to your belt
>so I attach the sheath to my belt just to test it out
>at this point I am happy and I want to buy the knife
>I then walk around the store and look at all kinds of stuff
>I literally forget about the knife in my belt and walk out without paying
>I notice the knife as I am sitting down in my car
>Didn't go back and pay for it.

It was at a big box kike store, so I don't feel too bad.

nah, me and 1 guy are white. one is slavic

lol

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Haha look at this spooked fag

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Shit mister FBI
Still tryin', eh?

I've stolen a sharpener but I felt bad afterwards.

what 90gb game did you steal user?

2 copies of pic related together with my dad

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Psychology seems like an interesting subject. Did you learn something worthwhile?

OP's heart

a packet of agar agar powder from a asian grocery store. just to see if i could B)

I've never stolen anything because I'm not a nigger.

Every breath I take.

Fate's plan for me was to be choked to death by my own umbilical cord.

a Bluetooth speaker

pinball machine

Nothing other than what I had learned beforehand. Some guidelines and ethnic and the same ol' pavlovian conditioning experiments. The book's kinda old, from the 50s and falling apart.

a pack of pokemon cards back when it was only 150 of them

You mean a full scale Pinball machine? How did you manage to?
>a pack of pokemon cards back when it was only 150 of them
Those were the days. Original fag. Nice dubs.

i did the same with the headphones but got caught stealing once and now im banned from that store

Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. Probably stole like 1k before I got caught. I still kept losing even though I had the best deck. Fuck me.

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put it in your moms butt hole

why do all the kleptos say to never steal from target?

>live in the UK
>have a plastic bag tax
>5p per bag
>self-service checkout asks how many bags you're using
>click "0"
>use bags anyway
>do this every time i go to the shops

This post is satirical and a work of fiction.

because they go hard with surveillance. my buddy got caught stealing from there and they tried to get me too because they had me on cameras stealing shit with him, but i had stopped.

they like keep records and shit and actually try. these days they can probably easily figure out your identity.

d-dad...oh that's nice...

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u uncut?? user you master theif. whatd you do with them?

What deck did you steal?

chewies when i was like 10

I shoplifted one of those little pucks of ground beef jerky when I was 13 but I felt pretty bad about it and decided from then on that stealing is probably for niggers who have an underdeveloped prefrontal cotex

I wish I wasn't too afraid to do this, because they really genuinely don't give a shit, their stock checking is super poor. I'm a small white girl too so like, I could doubly easy get away with it

Looks similar but this was the entire forum dedicated to it, and looking at old posts on zonklet, the one I found was more intense. Extremely similar and basically the same concept.

A $10 bracelet from Urban Outfitters
An old worn book from a Jewish cafe

A piece of candy worth 25 cents

i stole an energy drink when i was 13
also would shoplift cheap lighters and throw them against the pavement so they blew up