I started writing a diary today for everything that i feel or what happens in my life

your gf doesn't sound very nice if she's giving you ultimatums like that.

She actually is... I just wasn't made be in a relationship i guess

that's really good user :) journals are super useful. helps you remeber and mull over things and even just formulate ideas. when i started a type journal it was first about personal stuff but then i started including thoughts on films i'd watched or political and philosophical ideas i was interested in. it enables you to become better and better at translated your thoughts to a recordable form. it's really a priceless hobby. highly recommend to all

Thanks user
Yeah, i'm expecting to be able to use in that way since i usually ramble a lot when i'm alone, but i can never translate my thoughts in any other way
Hopefully this will help

>try writing journal
>can never remember enough of what I felt to write
>cringe instinctively while doing it
>abandon project after one attempt
Every time. Curse whichever bastard made my memory so useless.

Just write whatever's going trough your mind, even just random words, you don't need to write a long text

I do this too. At the end of each month I kinda make a graph of how I was feeling. Some months aren't great but it's been getting better. Enjoy it!

Keeping a journal can be good and bad. On one hand, it helps with venting out emotions building up and memory. I can pretty much perfectly place myself into the mindset I was in even for entries that are years old. On the other hand, it's gonna make it harder to forget negative experiences and I at least think it makes me just a little more lonely

Somehow i don't feel bad remembering bad stuff, just see it as "Oh yeah, that happened"

What's even the point? I don't see a point if all I'll be writing down is how shitty I felt and then having to remember it (assuming I even bother re-reading).

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It helps to keep your thoughts in line
You don't have to re-read it, just write on it, let go of whatever is bothering without anyone else seeing it, commenting about it or judging you

>starts writing diary at 12
>stops writing 3 days after because too much writing and I hate writing at that time
Well at least I tried

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>at that time
So you don't hate writing now?

Every time I try to start writing a daily journal I forget like one time or set the journal somewhere out of the way and I never pick it up again.

Just carry it with you wherever you go, that's what i do

Yeah, I don't go anywhere though, I lose it in my apartment because I'm retarded.

Nope, I used to write reports and such, I mean I don't like to write on a piece of paper because of my writing looks like I guess (kinda looks like a doctor's handwriting kek)

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Then put it next to your pc monitor, or on the bed

Oh okay, fair enough

I've been keeping a diary for like a year now. At first I was like "this shit is fucking pointless, I don't feel any better" but after say 4 months I realized that I was learning shit about myself - but that only came about because I was actually reading through it. So don't underestimate re-reading sometime later as part of the process.

All in all I'd say it's a good thing but a very low yield thing, don't expect any light-bulb moments or for your life to change precipitously after three days. But if you aren't doing any other form of therapy or self improvement it's one of the easiest fucking ways of making some progress.

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I'm doing a group therapy, actually
Thanks for your point of view user

I don't know how group therapy works, but I feel that a journal or diary is a good asset to have because in-between sessions things can happen or thoughts might cross your mind and it's good to write them down, so you can... even if you don't bring them in, you can address the important ones in some condensed form.
But maybe I'm just latently ADHD.

You might be interested in reading about Ira Progoff and James Pennebaker if you're interested in the therapeutic aspects of writing.

Basically you just talk and listen to other people's problems, you can't say anything about them out loud and they can't do the same with you
In the end, we always choose someone to tell a story abou himself and we have to improvise a play representing what we felt while listening with a character (I don't think other groups do this)
And yes, that's what i've been thinking of doing
I will user

How do you find the telling and improvising elements? I know that you're in a safe environment and like you say, no one can say anything out aloud - but I'm just wondering how that might differ, if at all, from one-on-one?

regardless of whether or not she's nice ultimatums typically show a pretty dead relationship I'd say dump her before she dumps you user

I mean, i do feel way better nos than when i started
But sometimes i just have this days in wich i just hate everyone and wanna kill myself

She is trying to cheer me up now when i feel like shit
I wrote about dumping her in the journal too... But i would miss her as a gf, also no one would want me

The re-reading is definitely a fun part of it for me. First entry was about a year ago, so I noticed I was speaking a little differently - I was kinda more histrionic in my writing, so I guess I've gotten calmer in the past year. Therapeutic stuff overall.

>I mean, i do feel way better nos than when i started
>But sometimes i just have this days in wich i just hate everyone and wanna kill myself
That's progress I guess.
I hate to say the old cliche but:
>>Rome wasn't built in a day
At least now you've gotten better, and that means you can continue to do so.

>First entry was about a year ago, so I noticed I was speaking a little differently - I was kinda more histrionic in my writing, so I guess I've gotten calmer in the past year.
That's really good to hear. Especially since you can have that feedback and perspective of seeing how you've changed because, I assume, stuff outside in your life has changed as well rather than it just a writing style switch.

honestly you make it sound like you're staying with her out of fear of being alone, if you have a job and are somewhat independent as an adult you can get a new gf after a while

Yeah i know
I've been going there for 3 months and i will keep going even longer since it works (Unlike other therapies i've tried)

Not really... I love her, she is the only person i can see a future with... But at the same time, we don't see each other often since she lives in another city and i always get the feeling that i'm not enough, or good enough for her...
And i'm in college, without work and i'm incredibly socially anxious, so...

me too. audio recording on a phone is also a decent way to take notes. sometimes if i'm out in public i'll record on my phone but to other people it looks like i'm just have a phone conversation. my typed notes are more coherent thought generally.

try typing and not looking at the screen. look elsewhere. eventually you'll get to a point where you'e not even thinking about typing and it's just like you're thinking and your hands are doing the work of recording your thoughts. and don't write things that you wouldn't think. don't think of the journal as committing to a process that is new or that the content is defined by other people. just view it as a translation of your inner monologue for the purpose of aiding your abilities of recall and focus.

recalling bad memories in the form of a journal or therapy can actually be helpful. really looking at the memory and the feelings they provoke can be helpful, so long as you view the feelings from a neutral, equanimous perspective, as an observing rather than someone experiencing the events again because remember that you're just recalling a memory, something that only exists within your mind. pay attention to the pysiological effect that things have on you with curiosity

I love the groups I've been in, but they're less restricted that that one. we're allowed to talk about whatever we want, but are just advised to try not to give advice

I've been doing that for years, cuz else i would lose my mind