What autistic things do you do at the gym?

even if i worked on fucking chest and triceps I flex my biceps in the mirror first

Why do you even bother lifting if you are like this

Before a heavy OHP set I usually yell under my breath "we must strike swiftly and bring glory to the Caliphate!"

better to be jacked and sad than just sad

>WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT
>OH YEAH, WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT
>WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT
>NO HOMO

I don't have headphones so I just turn the volume all the way up on my phone.

I always stare to the ground too.

Stealing the no homo part for later because it sounds and flows better than my current version, thanks

Any reps over 5 are broken down further in my head.
5 reps? A-ok. Count 1 2 3 4 5.
6? Not good. Count 1 2 3, 1 2 3.
12? Fuck me. 1 2 3 4, 1 2 3 4, 1 2 3 4.

For each set, I imagine a pie chart in my head, and each rep is a portion of that chart, which slowly 'fills' as I progress through each rep of the set.

I find myself muttering to myself on failure. C'mon, it's not that heavy, etc. Some swear words.

When I look at the ab wheel's treads I pretend I'm a Tiger tank

Everybody worth their salt does this. 'Lightweight, baby' isn't just a meme.

you are me

wtf why

Fuck you

I scan the entire gym like a hawk. Is some faggot DYEL looking at me? Stare him down until he diverts his gaze. I continue scanning my sector looking at thots in brapshark yoga pants. I undress them with my eyes. I laugh quietly when I see the ones lacking an actual chiseled body. Not good enough for me. Finally I find the top gym thot. You know the one. She wears those black framed glasses like she's from a BLACKED video. She has a notebook of her workout consisting of 50 hip thrusts, 40 donkey kicks, and the vagina opening machine. She's the one. I make eye contact. I lick my lips from left to right. She smiles mischievously. I drop my 700 pound deadlift on the middle of the gym floor. It lands on a lanklet as he is benching. I swoop over. Firmly grab her ass cheek/brap meat. Lift her up over my shoulder. Smacking her ass like a bongo. I carry her to the stationary bike room. I fuck her as all of the basic bitches in the adjacent room look through the glass. I cum. Walk out the gym like nothing happened. Hop in my Prius and do it all over again the next day.

You guys are faggots.

Same

fpbp

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Wipe the barbell down before and after using it
Organize the barbell plates in the rack I'm using
Keep an eye on dyels doing bench press to make sure they don't die

Fucking cringe

Whenever I see a nice braphog I pretend I'm on csi ir something and say to myself "enhance. Zoom. Enhance" while staring at her ass through 3 different mirrors

>Keep an eye on dyels doing bench press to make sure they don't die
I do the same, but I keep an eye on anyone benching to make sure they don't hurt themselves

I saw a guy using wipes to grip dumbbells. Was weird as fuck

ghetto straps theyre called

>not 123 123 123 123
Never gonna make it

that’s pretty cool dood

thx

What did you expect in a thread like this?

I listen to the witcher 3 soundtrack and viking folk music on the rowing machine and pretend I'm on a longboat in a storm

Based and nordpilled

I wipe down the bench after I use it.

I know the feel. I can only do reps that you can divide by 3 (6,9,12,15,...). but 8 or 10 is ok too. I'd rather do only 9 reps than 11, miss me with that gay shit.
I also count only in german at the gym, it just feels more natural (I speak english and polish at home).

You're welcome, my man. I ain't a musician for nothing.

Degenerate.

I blast the Doom soundtrack and imagine I am the Doom Slayer training to fight the demons

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youtube.com/watch?v=uDOwK8wn__U

Shit thanks for the idea, I'ma do that now user.

Post lyrics

The autism of the day award goes to user.

honestly a great advice for getting out of depression is forcing yourself to not think bad shit

Alpha power move. Based and redpilled desu

Yeah I do that on squats.

Damnation and BFG Division are best. Also having the monologues play between songs gives extra power.

To get ready for a set, I'll think of "mildly heroic" acts that are similar to the exercise I'm doing
>Imagine I'm pushing a beached dolphin/shark back into the ocean for bench press
>Climbing up a flaming building to save a kid for pull-ups
>Pulling a guy out of a flooded river for rope shakes
>Picking up an injured guy and running to the hospital for squat/dead lift
>chasing a guy who beat up my coworker for sprints
>Beating up said guy at the punching bag during bag drills

Unironically based.

Think about what that bitch did to me and struggle to hold back tears while doing my workout.

Based and redpilled

truly based

don't forget E1M1
youtube.com/watch?v=q657rEkgfKs

holy shit i also do that user.

I sometimes pretend to be on roids and try to sell some to people i know at my gym

Rerack weights into the correct place at my rack between sets because people are inconsiderate and I may be slightly autistic

excuse what me

There isnt a lot of people in my gym so i do whatever i want even if it looks autistic
>if its a heavy set i scream at the start THIS ONE IS FOR YOU, MOMMY
>i dont have headphones so i just plug my aux in the gyms sound system
>at first people hated it but now i have kind of a playlist and everyone likes it
>heavy metal for intensity sets
>luis miguel, dokken, michael jackson, basically gay 80s music for volume work
>if someone drops a plate i must go REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>many more but i dont want to bore you
youtube.com/watch?v=yG7MPEQm1-w

Honestly pretend I’m a robot during squats. Like im pnumatic.

i can’t listen to music while i’m working out

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i roll up my wrist wraps after every set of bench

>I unironically do that dance where you sway your arms and hips back and forth in between sets because it's actually good at warming up your body

fuck i swear i just saw someone do that at the gym. i'm onto you senpai.

Once I'm wearing my gym clothes and just before I'm about to exit the men's locker room, I pull my shoulder blades together and pull my arms back as if they were both shotguns and I'm loading them. While I'm doing it I say out loud: Autobots, roll out!

I stay a long time standing up, waiting for the person who is using the machine I want to use, instead of doing another exercise, honestly I look like a sperg

what does this reference?

If you played luis miguel during my workout i would unironically kill you

I also keep an eye on anyone doing bench. I think it's something everyone does because I was once saved in a seemingly empty gym.

circle around the weights/bar/machine i am currently using as if i am a wolf circling his prey

i dont think a skelly like you can kill me, also this kind of music while doing volume work is goat

don't do that

whenever i finish a set i yell out JOBS DONE like the human worker from warcraft 3

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In my head I like to narrate what I see as if it were in a novel.

Browse Jow Forums on my phone between sets.

someone make a boomer meme of this

I'm 31 years old but I was always a big wrestling fan from like 10 to 20 and always looked up to the asthetics of some of the big or charismatic wrestlers, and I listen to their entrance themes to get pumped up imagining I'm gonna be as big or good looking as them, nohomo. Also when I really don't feel like doing something because I'm sore or mentally not therr, I watch HHH returning to WWE from a torn quadricep video, it's pretty inspirational how he talks about his injury and coming back from it to do what he loves.

Read the shirt

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That's actually pretty dope

Does Jow Forums like progressive rock?

Is asking a girl if she is single autistic?

I do. A lot.

>make eye contact and nod with a slight grin at every single person that walks by me
I'm just trying to be friendly but they probably think I'm gay/retarded/autistic

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> Stare intently at dyels benching, ready to swoop in to help if it's too heavy
> When deadlifting pretend an apocalypse just happened and I'm lifting debris to save a wheyfu trapped
> When benching pretend I'm a knight and the bar is a dragons claw trying to crush me
> With squats pretend it's an ogre with a club
> Go on Jow Forums inbetween sets
> Look at myself shirtless in the mirror and do the hand thing Billy Hope did before his training montage in Southpaw
> Whenever I see a braphog walk past me I violently sniff in her direction to grab dat aroma
> If somebody at the gym calls me a "big guy", well, you know what I say by default now
> If I hit a new PR on a lift, I pretend I'm Chad for the rest of the workout and mutter after every set "fuckin sick cunt"
> I feverishly watch over my pre-workout sip like a hawk

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When I go in I say 'System scan mode' and look around.
When I start a set I say 'System engaging combat mode'
When I finish my workout I say 'Mission objective achieved. System switched to normal mode.'

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I like to imagine that my efforts in the gym will make me someday amount to somebody of value.

Share viking folk so I also can larp

Listen to Wardruna my nigga.

youtube.com/watch?v=GQA7RQEo-ss

Sometimes we don't pretend.

>dance in between sets while waiting for gymbro to finish set.
>Probably look autistic as hell but I catch some gym thots smiling at me
>Probably laughing at me but I like to pretend they think I'm cute

>mfw I say zug zug after a heavy last rep

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Based taste

You wash your hands after a shower? Thats pretty autistic.

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