by which I mean become more quick-witted.
Just now two girls low key flirted with me at the supermarket. It's only afterwards that I thought of all the perfect responses to flirt back, but at the time I think most of my mind was occupied with fear of embarrassing myself by being awkward. How do I get less shitty at this?
Pic somewhat related, one of them had a very similar face.
practice on your friends and family then move up to qts
Build a time machine
I am working on this too
For an introvert it's about removing your filter and saying pretty much anything as apposed to not much at all. Thinking the perfect response is necessary is perfectionist and beta. Smile and act like you are having fun. Say anything even if it seems unwitty and basic.
This doesn't really work though, because when I do feel confident I usually end up saying something that sounds awkward to the people I'm talking to.
It feels like sometimes (rarely) cute girls will show some interest in me, but lose it all once we start talking.
Become more comfortable talking to people you don't know. If you're anxious you'll be on the backfoot and feel reserved, not being yourself, not being charismatic. It's a problem of perception, one which can only be dispelled by exposing yourself to disprove your current perception.
practice
shoot the shit with friends
I've written down every single thing a girl has ever said to me and I write down cool responses that I should have said in reply. I carry the notepad round with me and read it regular to keep the lines fresh. I spend an hour before bed practising delivery too as timing is key.
1. Read more, it'll equal to better brain function and you'll become a more confident speaker as your vocabulary increases.
2. Drink coffee
>low key flirted
I swear this is how Marcus Aurelius's meditations was written
>fuck I sound retarded faggot
>this is what I should have said
I can assure you my vocabulary is more than adequate.
>2. Drink coffee
Nice meme, maybe I should do coke though
Nice and autistic, I like it.
Does it work?
>For an introvert it's about removing your filter and saying pretty much anything as apposed to not much at all.
this, people might think you're weird and/or extremely confident but fuck it, better than being the boring creepy quiet retard in the corner
>being the weird creepy guy who says weird shit that makes everyone uncomfortable
>vs just being quiet and shy
I mean
But does it work though? Did it actually improve your skills and success?
Bump for interest, I sound like an spaghetti-spilling autist even when talking to a fucking beggar
>yesterday
>done with gym so go to the parking lot to get my car
>notice long-haired homeless dude approaching
>get into car
>open the window to talk to him since he seemed harmless
>"u got some spare money mister"
>open my wallet
>had 30 bux
>I talk really loudly when nervous and uncomfortable
>scream "OH NO I'VE GOT NO SPARE MONEY MY DUDE"
>"but I haven't eaten all day long"
>scream again "THATS SAD, HERE HAVE THIS COIN"
>throw coin at him
>"GOD WATCH OVER YOU MY DUDE"
>no idea why I said that, I am not even religious
>stare at him while trying to start up car
>fail to start car twice
tl dr sperged to a beggar
well that just says something about you as a person if you naturally blurt out creepy shit
Fuck man I can relate to this t. OP
I'm starting to think my looks were never the problem.
Just try and get comfortable interacting with strangers. Start small like making eye contact and smiling with strangers. Make small-talk with people in elevators.
I think of my social skills as a muscle. Naturally, I'm incredibly anti-social and don't have much to say to anyone - but the more effort I make in small-talk, the more social I become and find that I can do a style of 'progressive overload' and get more and more confident and turn the filter off more and more.
Unfortunately, you lose it as quick as you gain it and have to start from the bottom again if you're a natural introvert like me.
Not creepy exactly, just slightly off, just enough for people to find it weird and awkward.
not sure what to say then desu, when I "just be myself" people just think I'm a dickhead or find me funny either or, guess it's all about setting
you have to stop caring. im the most charming person alive when im just hung over not to give a shit about anything but not so much that i cant get out of bed.
yes i think this is a good approach to. just talk or tell a story... people always forget how they got into a conversation anyways since they are concentrated on listening. Next time you are talking with someone think about how a story came up or how did that person get on this topic?? its because they are just saying whats on there mind.
its cuz YOU think YOU sound awkward and therefore you become awkward. its a self fulfilling prophecy. Tell the dumbest story ever next time but so enthusiastically as if you are Bert Kriescher telling "the machine" story and i bet you will get a different response from people.
always. be. smiling. it’s seriously contagious. make as many gestures and hand movements as possible too, it’s been proven that people respond well to them.
>make as many gestures and hand movements as possible too
So basically be Italian?
Yeah I already do that, the trouble is thinking of stuff to say.
make small talk with strangers
care less about what happens if you fuck up, it's a process of learning and failing, your world isn't gonna self destruct if you say something cringe on occasion
Can confirm that smiling works wonders. However you need to learn how to make the smile look as genuine as possible. If you smile but then quickly return to normal it communicates to others that it wasn't a legit smile. Practice smiling but SLOWLY returning your face to a normal one.
Also, do not keep a permanent smile on your face throughout the day. It's OK to periodically not be smiling.
This.
Thanks for reminding me of this. It's also about keeping open body posture and not crossing your arms, which is a really hard thing for me.
Using confident posture and gestures effects your psychology. Faking it till you make it applies to body language.
>Hey user, nice arms u got there wink wink
>yeah. But have you heard about weimar republic?
What do, Jow Forums? All i can think of is philosophy and lifting
How do you get better at lifting? By lifting weights. How do you get better at talking to people? Talking to people. Put yourself into social situations. Make small talk with strangers. Don't try to nitpick words and phrases you want to use because there's no perfect conversation scenario; they're all different. Keep the conversation going about ANYTHING.
Get a job in retail