Why not settle for a masseuse?

Hear me out desus, this is decent strat that I've had luck with as a robot who can't get girls conventionally.

>find a local thai massage parlour, not one that's too big and 'official' but not one that's obviously a brothel either
>book a full body oil massage with a cute thai girl, you'll be completely naked and rubbed all over, you'll inevitably get hard and there is a very good chance she will finish you off as this isn't such a big deal for them
>now that the precedent is set she will do it every time, over the next couple of visits build some good rapport and escalate the sexual stuff (touch her butt while she jerks you off etc)
>take her out to dinner, it will be much easier than a normal date because you have already paid for her to get used to your shit personality and medicore body and you've done sexual stuff together already
>enjoy your thai masseuse gf

If she doesn't bite just find another and start again. This is cheaper and much safer than fucking hookers, an ideal strat if you are ok looking but have an autist personality that stops you getting laid the conventional way. The average customers for these girls are old fat cunts with arthritis so they will actually enjoy working on you even if your body isn't great. Your welcome anons.

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my mother was a masseuse and she gave me a massage once and I got a boner. This thread just made me remember that moment. she laughed at me.

>>enjoy your thai masseuse gf
Disgusting

LMAO I've been through more than my fair share of cringe but I can only imagine

lmao

gib mommy masseuse plox

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10/10 derailment, keep contributing user

>Take a prostitute out to dinner
>make her your gf

Are you out of your fucking mind?

>date a massuese

you cant date anyone you have a work relationship with. and shes at work.

Do you really want to date a girl who jerks off ten different guys a day?

Fire up the greentext you know the rules

maybe op pulled it off.

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>date
fuck yes I do, she'd be able to get me off like a pro
>marry
Femanon, I think we should reconsider our relationship.

op is probably a woman and shit testing

>date

why are you gonna chat her up and teach her some English?

>a cute thai girl
Yeah except most of the time it's an elderly Cantonese lady who speaks like 2 words of English.

>he didnt get the cute 20 something masseuse

ahah. i didnt either.

dubs and i go back for round 2, hopefully with the cute one i saw.

singles i stop burning so much money on professional wankjobs

Better than the average roastie who fucks 10 different chads at a time. And like I said most of their clients are old people who are either women or men who can't get hard anyway.
Literally walk in and point to the one you want, politely. What are they gonna do?
Yep, why not.

these parlors are filled with brads. dont get attached, and limit yourself with spending.

gg originalo

yeah i thought about it and i decided to cheat on my degenerate dubs of 6. im a free man.