I wanna stop being a fat fuck but I hate the gym...

I like blasting music from my headphones and feeling strong as fuck. If I'm ever anxious or sad lifting just makes me happy. your the cringy faggot whos fat.
youtube.com/watch?v=toDShI8QCRI

>post asking what do about fatness
>insult people who like to work out
get fucked fatty, take your negativity somewhere else

This.
Restricting your food intake is multiple times more effective than just working out

Of course doing cardio AND keeping track of your hamburger consumption is even better

>I hate the gym
Common occurence among people who associate it with stupid fitness people from instagram and the like. Just ignore the fags and lift m8. Doesn't take that long to learn not to give a fuck.

>why do you hate school?
bunch of people trying hard to make themselves smarter fairly cringe tb,h
>why do you hate work?
bunch of people trying hard to make themselves some money fairly cringe tb,h
>why do you hate breathing?
bunch of people trying hard to make themselves not die fairly cringe tb,h

honestly just fucking end yourself

I see your bitch ass thread like this every damn week, quit being a little bitch, read the sticky, and do cathinetics like every other poor fag. Put down your grubby ass fat hands from the McDonald’s and soda and stop making these fucking threads

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>I wanna stop being a fat fuck but I hate the gym
tough luck pal

Jow Forums will tell you "buy a squat rack and a bench and a Texas barbell and and..."
And forget it!
Literally buy a single 18" length standard 1" diameter spin lock dumbbell handle online. Buy 1 pair of 2.5kg plates, 1 pair of 5kg plates and 1 pair of 10kg plates. That gives you 5kg increments up to35kg which is plenty to start with.
Now the fun stuff. Program:
>squat pattern: goblet squat > deep lunges > pistol squats
>hip hinge pattern: stiff leg deadlift > single leg sldl > snatches
>horizontal push: floor press > one arm pushup (weighted)
>horizontal pull: rows
>vertical push: push press > ohp > handstand pushup
>vertical pull: dunno find a tree branch and do pullups or do more rows and/or curls
>loaded carry: any you like
>abs: situps holding it, hanging leg raises
I gave a couple progressive exercises too. You can use it to weight bodyweight movements by chucking the plates in a backpack.
Doing everything unilaterally means you're constantly working your obliques to keep balance.
When you need more weight simply buy another pair of 10kgs, which gives you 5kg increments up to 55kg which is a very respectable weight for a DB.
This is the most cost effective and efficient way for a newbie to train. This can be had for less than 2mo gym membership easily, and will last s you far longer. Once you're done you can sell it on craigslist for the same price you bought it or nearly so. Minimal investment required and you can sell it and start at a gym when you like.
I should charge for this advice but you can have it for free fat boy. Eat less.

Doing squats and deadlifts with 35kg is the equivalent of benching a broomstick

if you don't even have enough motivation to leave your comfort zone and enter a gym you definitely don't have what it takes to stop being a fat fuck. you have to get rid of the fat in your mind first before you can lose the fat on your body

You are such a fucking useless human being fucking kill yourself seriously the pounds will fly off

Before I discovered Jow Forums I lost eighty pounds just on caloric restriction and walking long distances, you really don't need to spend any money at all

if you want to lose weight, change your diet, you dont need to work out

I lost 50 lbs no gym. First, know that your diet is 10x more important than your activity in regards to weight loss. But sounds like youre more interested in the activity part of the equation.

Start by running your ass into shape. Dont even start trying to lift until you can do 3 miles without stopping. The early returns for cardiovascular health are way more important health and appearance wise than the early returns for strength training. For me, the energy I got from getting into good cardiovascular shape first was really important to my weight loss. And just not feeling like such a worthless fat shit any more.

Then, start with body weight exercise training - push ups, sit ups, chin ups, dips, etc, 3+x per week while you continue running 1-2x per week...you have about 6 months until returns diminish and you'll want to start on weights. Get a pair of adjustable dumbbells and a bench...you'll have dozens of good exercises that will keep you going for another year or so. Then get a power rack and a barbell set.

Of course, you could jump to getting the whole set up at the beginning, but its not necessary and it sounds like you want to ease your way into this...

You don't need to buy anything. Do pushups, squats, dips (use a chair), curls (use a bag filled with books), plank, calf raises, situps, etc etc. Just get off your ass.

>you have to get rid of the fat in your mind
yeah, it's your mindset that's holding you back. Be aware that you are in control of whatever you do - eating healthy or shit, working out or hanging on the coach. Only when you accept this control and stop making excuses you can change your life

That's why I listed single leg and explosive progressions son. Pistol squats with 35kg ain't nothing to sneeze at.

So instead of doing a really simple and effective workout he should do something that takes all day and doesn't work, got it.

No, he could do one exercise from each category and progress to the next exercise when he runs out of enough weight to challenge himself at the previous exercise.
Sample workout
>goblet squat 35kg
>sldl 35kg
>semi-one arm pushup bw
>row 30kg
>ohp 25kg
>situps with 20kg
>goes outside and does pullups
>takes DB outside and does farmers walks
Job done. It hardly takes any more time to do one arm then the other because you're not resting between ARMS. Hell if time really was an issue, for strength you don't even necessarily need to do more than 1 set according to research. Plus you can grease the groove by working out more than once per day, say do 1 set in the morning (20mins max) 1 set in the afternoon if you're around and 1 set in the evening before bed.
In the above workout, if he nails his goblet squats with 35kg easily then next workout he'll start doing unweighted pistol squats instead. And he'll order 2 more 10kg plates off amazon which lets him continue to 55kg. Get it?

>go to catalog
>ctrl+f: /fast/
>???
>STOP FUCKING EATING FATTY

Do Burpees until you shit.