Well I miss my ex-boyfriend and he's never texting back

Well I miss my ex-boyfriend and he's never texting back
He's working for Nvidia and raising a kid with his wife
every time I check his Instagram I end up feeling worse
I lie in bed in tears while he's posting new Snapchat stories from his work

It's so fucking cold, and the rain never stops
and every fucking day I'm working minimum wage
and my acne won't cease, my hair won't shine
And I think my boss wants me to cover someone's shift and I don't wanna go!

And I feel so out of place among all the humans
I don't wanna over-complicate each day
I've got cats to feed and videogames to play

And when I wake up I try my best to do that
through the sunshine, snow, and the rain
and to not do anything I don't love
because life's too short to hate

The world is spinning around, but I'm standing still
haunted by a list of things i want to do but never will
And I'm so sad, my best friends are my cats
when they die I'll kill myself
with my ex's Colt Night Cobra

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are you that crazy chick who actually genuinely needs to see a psychiatrist

because. hey. pal. go genuinely see a psychiatrist

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Get the fuck off of Jow Forums whore. You have a vagina, you must leave. Go to lolcow, that's a much better home for you

I crashed his babyshower and he said I looked like a mess.

OP, hold on.
You still have access to all of his social media? why didn't he delete you if you're actually fixated on him? Is he pitying you or just really doesn't care, because the latter seems likely if he has lots of people he talks to, since too many people already see his personal info anyway.

You're lucky, all my fixations, not even romantic, block me, I wish I had your luck. you don't even do it for malice, just for your own pleasure, jeez.

yup, that's you alright.
talk to me. why are you doing this to yourself? why are you purposefully deluding? are you a sadist? you can help yourself, but instead you're just festering.

What an asshole, but you should stop fawning after a married dude just because he has his shit together and invest in someone with growth potential who will also invest in you, like back before western civilization became Hell.

=Also op, don't listen to anyone mocking you, you being able to pair bond is a good thing. But god I wish I was you, all my people fixations removed me from everything, it hurts so bad, I just wanted to admire them, not even do malicious things to them.

Seems a lot more merciful than what nvidia dickhead is putting this girl through.

he doesn't know I follow him on social media. I use sock puppet accounts.

highschool was the best days of my life. i had friends and a boyfriend and everything was so fun. The college and life happened and I just wasn't ready for it. I wasn't made to handle adulthood. I don't sustain myself.I I rely on my parents for a home. I think it's amazing that this guy once loved me and I like to imagine our life together if I was a better person. we could have been married. we could be going on adventures. He could be in his instagram pics instead of her.

he thought I was on drugs or something when I came to his babyshower bearing gifts, but really I was just super exhausted from work and stress and depression. I even dressed nice and showered. Even his wife took pity on me.

And don't believe anyone telling you to move on, forcing a relationship isn't a good thing. and not everyone will treat you well, something bad may happen, take your time OP,

Wait, wouldn't he suspect something? Does he literally have too many people to "suspect" or something? even if it is a fake account
No, not really, self-explanatory. I already had a habit of being fixated on them so forcing a unnatural "stop" is worse for me.

have you tried killing yourself?

this comment is original

>I think it's amazing that this guy once loved me
i want to make this clear to you, op. and trust me on this. what's also amazing is that there are more guys in the world that too can and would love you. even if you're acting nuts... you still deserve love, same as anyone else.

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OP you're too worthy to throw your life away just because of a bad breakup, i know how hard it hurts because i've been there but you will eventually overcome it. Things might seem shallow and boeing in youe job but it's not permanent, you will find a better job and you will find someone who loves you and looks after you, please don't do it, you can give me your Discord too and i'll try to make you feel better
T. Stranger you never met but cares about your well being

why do you still love him? he hates you and moved on.

My Instagram is just a picture of a rabbit. The profile is filled with pics of nature. He just think it's some artist trying to get followers on Instagram.

He's an amazing guy who could have had any girl and chose me . He's so smart and funny and good looking. I can't believe we dated .

I'm sorry this happened to you. My heart was broken in a similar way, and I know how horrible it is, just lying awake wishing things could be different and thinking this life can't possibly be your real life, that there's some mistake.

You're younger than I am. I dwelled on it for too long, and I didn't have to. I didn't do myself any favors, and now I'm stuck because I'm old.

Don't be like me. An user once said "sometimes it's necessary to seriously reevaluate what you consider a negative thought." Be like that user.

no hes not amazing. so what he works for nvidia and married some chick. thats what regular people do.

Damn dude where can I find a girl who loves me like this? Didn't know women were even capable of love desu

This kind of thinking is bad, getting rid of mono-gamy line of thinking will ruin your future relationships too, I did what you suggested and I wanted to divorce my hypothetical spouse. it would be a forced marriage. I can't, because the reality is nothing is scared or special, so it doesn't matter if I do move on.

I rejected someone who lived near me even though they had a nice military job, I wanted a natural love and not a forced one.

Okay, I get it now. Do you know if he cut off contact with you in particular? it sounds like he's very socially active, it sucks but it sounds like you were the only targeted by him. I'm sorry.

I think the right thing to do in this instance would be to kill yourself.

because I don't know how to love anyone else.

We stopped talking after highschool. He just got too busy with college, work, and a family to be bothering dealing with me. I text him every once in awhile, but I'm not sure he uses the same number anymore. It's the same number I had since highschool.

Dont listen to this liar OP. Trust me, it doesn't get better. You get into a new relationship and it cant even come close to the first one because in the first one you were with "the one". Worst part is that you weren't his "one".

t. Guy who cant get past a relationship that happened almost a decade ago

have you tried not loving anyone?

Other guy who can't get past a relationship that happened a decade ago here:

How the fuck does a decade go by without you revisiting this notion that first girl who was ever nice to you must have been "the one?" Even I'm mostly just pissed about opportunity costs and shit, and believe me I'm *pathetic* on this front.

yes and it's boring. I need someone to latch on. Need a guy to obsess over to give me some sense of direction.

You can still be friends with your exes, there's no need for extra drama, I agree with OP, their ex, if they have any raw anger at their ex, should humanize them again and not hate them, this will solve the problem, but people love their freedom, I don't get it either, OP's ex must love hating...? this will help OP's ex too, if they let go of the hate for their ex and feel positive towards them instead of hate.


And don't believe anyone telling you to move on, I know for a fact if I got in a new relationship I would start drama and ruin it on purpose since nothing is sacred,

You can't pick and choose who to love. some people never marry their true love and have to marry someone out of convenience

I honestly think you should consider that maybe you've been mindfucked by television and the notion of a soulmate.

OP is literally trying to destroy this guys life. Home wreckers are almost worse than whores imo, destroying everything that he has worked for only for you selfish desires. Move on or kys before you ruin his normie life.

You're disgusting and will ruin this man's life. Congratulations, you're purpose is no better than a parasite's.

She wasnt the first girl to be nice to me actually. Just the first girl that I ever felt truly in love with. All other relationships I've had, I never achieved that same level of love, of being one with another before. I'm extremely aware of how pathetic and hopeless I am please dont rub it in too much thanks

>You can still be friends with your exes
No u cannot. Its wrong on top of that. Imagine your current lover talking to the guy that she used to fuck about shit she should be talking to you about. You can move on, but that is

NO. I still wish to be HIS again, but I would be happy if we could be friends again. I miss holding on to him while taking a stroll, playing videogames, or watching shows together. I want 1 on 1 talks with him to discuss my feelings. I can't be me without him.

I never try to get inbetween him and his girlfriend/wife.

She's not a homewrecker...? she just checks on what he's doing. Homewreckers are people who flirt with people who reciprocate even though they know that person has a partner.

I'm like OP but its not fictional for me, I just wanted one person for life to be faithful to.

The only reason she isn't a homewrecker is because he is ignoring her. She's trying, but not very good at it.

I would normally agree, but then he's clearly still engaging with her in a way that's inappropriate if he knows this is going on, and from what I gather he'd have to be retarded not to.

They probably had a threesome or he cheated early in the relationship with his wife, but OP doesn't want to tell us that because deep down the hope is someone who knows her will see all this.

She's being led on. She's probably in the same boat we were all in for the entirety of high school/life.

Please. I haven't been intimate with my boyfriend since we dated. We barely even talk and I'm barely included in his life. We haven't done anything inappropriate. He doesn't even realize he's talking to me when I comment on his instagram pics.

Dear god the "alpha widow" thing is real, isn't it. Fuck me I should have grabbed *something* up while I was still young brb shopping for helium and ketamine.

oof, even if you were the most beautiful most perfect woman in the world I cant imagine someone willing to take you and be happy. Why? Because all you can think about is your ex, you cannot love another without getting over him can you? You need to be loved and let go of the past at the same time OP or else you will spread this darkness around.

This is how I feel anyways

Imagine being the guy naive enough to pursue her anyway. It's a full-on tragedy all around. This entire generation will die alone. Because of television.

Not OP here, but I'm in the same situation as OP, I did try to go on a date IRL, but I felt disgusted at the thought of sex and romance with him, so i canceled it and anyone else I was "talking to" for the potential of a relationship,

Moving on /deeply/ does not work, I tried, I know for a fact that I wouldn't care if any future partner of mine cheated on me, and I would break up with them instead of fixing it or caring about our problems, I would be shallow, with my exes I actually cared and wanted things to work out, and that we would have a mundane calm every day life, but you can't get what you want.

Moving on will only cause problems, like what I did,

How come I have sympathy when it's one of them, but then when we hit four, I'm back to "women are fucking retarded and I'm angry?"

I think that's moving on the wrong way. If you try to move on by addressing the symptom of your problem you won't succeed. If you try to move on by addressing root causes you might.

>tfw no girl will ever remotely care about me even 1/100th of what op does for the guy

get out whore you made your life like this

>Nvidia

I regret selling that stock. I sold to early.

Chad popped OPs cherry n now she is obsessed with him. Thats what you get for spreading your legs for Chad you bitch. How bout you be a good role model n tell lil girls to not be whores like you

The problem is that I have not one person to devote myself to, getting a new partner will make it worse, you get it?

I already tried to move on by choice. it didn't work out, so now I stay single or "wait" naturally for a relationship,

I don't need help, I already tried by myself and it didn't work, no replies or mocking me.

I think having many partners is a sin, so I must marry for life next time, and I obviously already failed plenty of times, its a deep cycle that defeats itself. And ruins my pair bonding, the only solution is to stay single, I don't want to be one of those people I despise

Answering my own question:
2 is a coincidence.
3 is a pattern.
4 is evidence of a systemic problem wherein girls are being convinced if their life isn't in an indie film, it means they're being mistreated, meanwhile there's an entire generation of young men with fucking *nobody* to talk to but this website.

In fact I get it now. Normies really do need to get the fuck out. If you've been on a date in the past year, get the fuck out of here right now.

Thanks for the explanation, we cant read your mind user. And Im happy you realized how bad it is having normies here

you better sort yourself out BUCKKO and wash your vagina, in all seriousness if you really do care about him you'd leave him alone if that's what he wants
> I don't sustain myself.I I rely on my parents for a home
this is kind of a problem, you'd probably miss him less if you became more self sufficient, but maybe you don't want to be because you wish your bf did

I tried to move on from the shitpile of my life a few years back, but until in totally collapsed I wasn't able to address it properly. I don't think rock bottom is the only answer, but in my case I succeeded my way to failure so I couldn't escape the rot at the heart of it.

You probably have BPD. You probably treated him like fucking shit. You probably got angry at him and abused him every time he made a minor mistake or did something you didn't like. You're probably crazy and in desperate need of psychological treatment.

You probably deserve to be alone for the rest of your life because you're unwilling to see what you do wrong and all you do is point your finger at others and blame them for everything when really the problem is you.

He probably had a high enough sense of self-worth and he dumped your ass because of your bullshit.

You probably pulled all of that out of your ass.

Just look at them.

> nyeh nyeh nyeh I tried dating but I just have to selflessly remove myself from it before I hurt more people because there is only Him and I need Him to teach me.

Hi bitch I literally go for days sometimes without uttering a single word to another person, and women scowl at me for making eye contact because they can tell I'm no longer properly socialized. I've never been in a real relationship. I have never experienced wanting a person who wanted me back. Now I'm balding, and my family has managed me out because I failed marry and time is up. I have nobody and I'll die like this.

Your expectations are fucking stupid, and the only reason I'm not being harsh is because I'm thankful I at least got a slow reveal instead of the wall.

Just to clarify: OP, you're completely fucked in the head, you have my sympathy, and you can stay.

The rest of you defeatist cunts discouraging OP from even attempting to solve her problem just because your Saudi Arabian prince never came along can suck dick in hell.

Don't believe anyone else, okay OP? pair-bonding and feeling like things matter is a green flag. They won't love their spouse like you would, since they're stuck in the "Replace your partners" mentality. People can have feelings and its okay, trust me, I know,

*pair-bonding and thinking of your partner as your one and only is good, but I was forced and trained against my will to replace MOST of my exes, things don't always go well, don't believe anyone else, they're not the victims

You are encouraging a potential home wrecker? Wtf?

He moved on, her obsessing over her first dick is killing her... you know yea, let this go on, this bitch fucked up n needs to pay for it.

found your problem. its not him its you. hes not special

youre lying. u dont know it but youre lying. youre that type

At least OP seems to be a "potential homewrecker" due to actual heartbreak and a set of psychological problems as opposed to a narcissistic self-delusion about why she keeps friend-zoning people during an otherwise functional life engaging with myriad potential suitors.

She has expressed a desire to not interfere with the relationship and has resorted to telling herself that she could be happy just going for walks as friends.

Totally different animal in my view.

Do you work in the same building as this guy?

Why are you texting a married father with intentions to ruin a family?

Are you remotely embarrassed?

You're thinking of it only shallowly, OP don't worry, being able to love someone unconditionally is a good thing. OP you're the victim,

don't worry, I completely understand, I made my own choice to "move on" and I didn't feel anything at all, I just felt numb. I lost all attraction to real people and only hypothetical situations in my head.

*Disclaimer; I still think all my exes and any future partner of mine has their own self-agency and life, I'm not victimizing myself, its no one's fault,

Read the thread because it's not like that. She even went to the babyshower (where she was insensitively ridiculed). The dumbass' dumbass wife invited her. It seems entirely possible that they are knowingly tormenting this girl.

Shut the fuck up you bucket of crabs whore.

>She has expressed a desire to not interfere with the relationship and has resorted to telling herself that she could be happy just going for walks as friends.
You are being gullible bro, there zero fucking chance she wouldnt at least fuck him when given the chance, ZERO

It's entirely possible that aliens are running the world too. It's much more plausible that OP has poor judgement and suffers accordingly.

So fucking what? She has explicitly stated that she knows that's wrong. She wants to do the right thing. It would be 100% on him if something like that happened. This entire thing is arguably already 100% on him for maintaining contact.

>White Knight
holy fuck this guy is serious isnt he...
>I still think all my exes and any future partner of mine
ok dude seriously, you can fuck off now

Basically what I learned from this thread is this:
The widespread belief that you can be friends with your ex is ruining everyone's life.

You'll never be happy while you put the guy that you can't have on a pedestal.

ask him to have sex with you i assure he won't refuse after a little bit of persuation he'll be yours

False. Don't waste another day of your life you don't have to OP, though I think you're gone because apparently work in the same building as the guy.

He met his cunt wife at work and she gave you a job, didn't she.

I shouldn't call her a cunt; these people just sound unbelievably stupid. I hope you get away from them.

do you need a friend or someone to talk?

She only think she loves him bcs he dumped her and he is sucessful, IF he became even close to her level she would suddently fall out of love. If he came to her now and told her he loves her she would grow bored in 2-3 months

Can I lick your arsehole?