How you guys holding up?

My bum is plugged up. Had some spicy chinese food. MY anus is half burning, half trying to pass this solid log, sat on the toilet right now.

>tfw you always regret it but you still crave it every time

If it wasn’t for my loving parents and the fact they’ve dedicated 20 years of their life to my success I’d kill myself.

Not in a boo-hoo my life is so bad kind of way. Just a tired of living way. Life is full of problems and no matter how many I solve and to what degree of difficulty they are I get no satisfaction out of it. It’s like doing mountains of school work but none of it gets graded. I don’t get that release of happiness for over coming things. I just feel empty as I prepare for the next.

I have no more excuses
I’ve been mired by everyone from my managers at work to an old crush to a friend I haven’t seen in a couple months
There is no reason for me to feel insecure, so there’s no reason for me to continue thinking I’m not good enough, anymore

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I think that humanity is a cursed race and the more I look at myself and other people I see how flawed we all are. It's like all we do is suffer and then die. It gets worse when you start reading history and wonder if humanity has any redeeming qualities. The only thing stopping me from wishing that a nuclear war wipes out the human race is my belief that Jesus Christ existed. Out of all our failures we could at least produce one guy that was perfect, though so perfect that (((we))) executed him.

I took the whole week off, first vacation I've had in over a year. Can't think of anything to do besides go to the gym and run on the beach. Have a half finished book (yes, I know NOBODY will ever read it) but can't find the motivation to work on it.

Suicidal ideation isn't fun, sorry to hear about that user.

dont eat at such a low deficit
calculate TDEE and start lifting, not just cardio

Noticing real noob gains after 5 months of lifting but holy shit do i suck at talking to people

Feels good, man
>tfw no gf
I've found that women are useless and uninteresting, I'm at the point where the only reason I want to marry is to have a genetic legacy
>finally went over $10k in savings for the first time in my life
>planet fitness contract expires soon so I'll be going to a proper gym again
>going to apply for my business license and start my self employment journey
>buying a 4x4 truck to have solo /out/ adventures
Feeling /comfy/, boys. We're all gonna make it.

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I dont even know if I'm reading women correctly. It feels like I'm getting good responses but how the fuck can I know if they give top tier acting performances. Jesus Christ lads just when you think you have one piece figured out. Reee

Better but not good. Started working out and eating properly again after over a year being sedentary, I feel great. I quit weed, I feel better from that too. But it took quitting a shitty job that was slowly killing me and ramping up my anxiety/depression to the point that I couldn’t leave the house or look anyone in the eye. I’m slowly getting better, but I have almost no more money and I have no idea what job to work. It’s because of my social anxiety. I’m afraid to work after this last job. I just want to be normal. It’s not just a girl thing although it’s certainly harder with them, but I can’t really look men in the eyes or talk to them either. I’m a shy 23 year old man, people immediately lose all respect for you if you’re socially anxious and shy at any age over 19, and it’s humiliating itself.

But I decided to take small steps even if it’s just saying hello to strangers at first. I think that will help me go a long way. But I need a fucking job. I’m considering a warehouse/stocker job because it’ll be minimal interaction with people while I desensitize myself to this social phobia shit

Had the most beautiful dream of a loving wife and kids in a house in the countryside. I'm half a bloomer so I know it might happen if I try hard enough but another part of me knows the dream was too beautiful to materialize. People are fickle and cruel, women shallow and vain and all life a disaster waiting to strike you down the moment you get up. Just keep getting up they would all say and I'll say it too as often as I need to. But if, and I'm afraid to even think it, that dream will never come true, then the world will be too dark to escape even in death. Just hold me, bros. It's a cruel life to have a mind to dream.

This is one man's opinion, but I think trying to read them is a mistake. Become a high value man and they'll conform to you instead of you trying to conform to them.

its kinda edgy but i dislike having happy dreams more than bad ones

I know this feel, user. Like living is just not worth the effort and it never will be.

Feeling manic

Going between "omg I love her" to "she just doesn't care" and back

This is what I feel is the reality of the situation

I'm not sure how much sex I should be having.
I've only fucked one girl (21m).

I'm afraid of getting a girl pregnant or catching STD's.
I also want a wholesome girlfriend to cuddle with and live in a peaceful area.
So do I pursue that or do I try to fuck braphogs off tinder anons?

same, but im just a big retard
>got pretty close to girl maybe a bit too clingy
>grows distant after i say we should go out
>pretty much cut all contact now
>thinking about going on this trip with friends
>find out shes going to be there
>say ill go
i just know this will end bad

failing all of my classes
just cannot find motivation to work

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This chick who I really like keeps inviting me to do things with her but doesn't get back to me on it and it almost never happens. What do I do about this? Does she actually like me or is she just leading me on?

I matched with an extremely hot tranny on tinder that looks better than bailey jay

i want to fuck it so bad anons.

The girl I'm in love with (and has known for a year) decided that she could lower her boundaries with me and is able to spend time with me one on one if none of our friends are available. This makes me really happy, but the reasoning, I'm sure, is that she thinks I'm over it or she thinks that we're on the same page.
So this could be bad for me. But it's what i wanted. I hate arbitrary rules put in place to protect our feelings. I know she wanted to date me, she said so herself. She just found reasons that it wouldn't work and said no anyway. Fucking retarded. If you want it, do it. Don't be a little bitch.

im in the middle of a cross country drive solo im worried i cant finish due to anxiety. ive done many cross country drives but this one has me spooked for no reason. i go about an hour or so and start to feel queasy

be careful anons
people can come back to get ego boosts from people they
also
> I know she wanted to date me, she said so herself
sometimes people are also just bad at breaking up or trying to cut things off

this could not be relevant to your situation but be careful friend

i just a huge wide shit that opened my asshole so far apart, i dont even have to push to fart right now. farts just come out like pfftff

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Don't want to be alone anymore.

Good, got a gf and we're hitting it off, she's really cute. Of course keeping up with my fitness, I never skip a day or a rest day, eat right, work hard. Things are surprisingly going pretty well for me right now.

Pretty okay
Classes are stressful and I'm feeling more lonely than usual, but still feeling good overall and keeping up with exercise. Pretty hopeful for future

Damn you managed to explain my depression

How much lower than my tdee should i go?

>tfw you have access to better food and water than kings had back in the day
feels good man

not fitness related
go back faggot

Is that a problem

She's actually my best friend so i doubt is an ego trip

>tfw see my bus crush again
>she's literally perfect
I wish I could tell her seeing her makes my day
I wish I could see her everyday for the rest of my life

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Checked.
>mark of the beast
I-I'm so sorry user.

I've been stuck at a plateau for three fucking weeks and since I'm technically still a beginner, I don't know what to do. The two "breaks" I've taken were way too long and I don't know if I should switch programs or what. Shit's gay.

Also I went on a date for the first time and I'm asking the same gril if she wants to go out a second time. Can't tell if I've made it or if I'm forcing interaction.

Thanks for reading my blog post

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very badly

>parents are in 60's, getting old and frail
>im a 28 year old virgin still living at home
>going to college and getting good grades and internships, but desperately lonely
>nobody talks to me, nobody gives a fuck about me
>work out all the time, am tall and above average looking, but nobody cares
>car falling apart
>not sure how much longer i can keep my shit together
>lifting eases the pain

Good for you user

stay strong

If you are 335+ you would lose very rapidly at 1500 calories

You either suck at counting or you're not counting liquids or something stupid like that

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Pretty bad. I used to train like a warrior when I was wrestling. Ever since that was taken away from me, I've become a fucking blob that just goes to school, watches anime, and plays video games. I feel worthless with no purpose in life.

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Ive been trying to do this course for 8 months now and now i have to wait for another three months cause i broke both my feet
>Half of my friends are going through without me and are almost done
>The other half quit due to "lack of motivation"
But other than that doing pretty well

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Failed to hit 240 on flat bench today. I have been hitting 5 pound PRs every day for like 3 weeks now, so I guess I had to hit a speedbump eventually.

Still feel a little bummed but I'm gonna go back tomorrow with a fury.

Also planned on deadlifting but this faggot gang of scrawny Asians showed up and took both barbell jacks for their fucking 1pl8 deadlifts.

what course?

At least you're past 2 plates

I've been stuck at 185 for like 2 months. Shit sucks

My little brother is getting bitch tits and all he eats is sugar and processed shit and he’s only 12. I try to help him and motivate him but it’s like talking to a literal NPC. I’m depressed watching him make the same mistakes I did when I was a kid.

>faggot gang of scrawny Asians showed up

what is with gooks and their obsession with the deadlift?

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Basic reconnaissance course

I have had what I assume is a hemorrhoid for quite a while now. I honestly don't know if it is or not. What happens is my asshole will all of a sudden get super itchy. There's no pain in sitting or actual pain, just super itchy. I have been rubbing a hemorrhoid cream on it and when I do that the itch usually goes away but it's just been going for like a month now.

No pain when wiping, nothing like that.

Wow, coincidentally 185 was where I also plateau'd at before starting GOMAD and bulgarian. Its tough drinking that much milk and not everyone responds well to it, also bulgarian is a very niche program that is not for everyone but if you're desperate to make strength gains I wholeheartedly recommend looking into it brah.

Good luck! We're all gonna make it.

Not good desu, here’s a shitty blogpost about why
>be in the first month of uni post-gap year
>social gains in nearly all areas are through the roof, managed to come off as reasonably Chad-ish
>meet qt Italian girl
>overcome autism and flirt with her, she’s clearly into me, she even says “I want to see your room” at our last flat party
>autism strikes and I leave it too long
>see her tonight and the chemistry is gone, invite her back to mine and she refuses
Why can I still not cross this hurdle?

I'm really afraid of dying for some reason. Like not that I think I will die soon or anything but just the concept of dying itself is fucking horifying

also I thought I fucked things up by a girl by getting too invested too fast and asking to be exclusive early. She said no but its as if nothing has changed between us. I'm just glad I'm chilling with her. Kind of feel bad though because I decided to fuck girls on the side since she doesn't want to be exclusive yet.

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the stuff people complain about on here is astounding

Too hard on yourself brah, it sounds like you've come a long way. Failure is part of everything, channel the frustration on the iron and keep trying.

It doesn't get any easier with girls either bro, and a lot of the time it is right time right place with them. You can pull a girl way out of your league if she's feeling vulnerable or lonely. Women are not an exact science.

she said no, you should be fucking so many bitches to get her jealous. Then she'll ask to be exclusive and you turn her down

any girl that doesn't wanna be exclusive is a whore desu senpai.

Also find Christ, once you accept Jesus as your lord and savior, you wont fear death

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So tired but can't fall asleep. Hoping I wake up in a good mood ^ ^

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>if a girl doesn't want to only date you she's a whore
>DUDE FUCK AS MANY GIRLS AS YOU CAN

cringe and bluepilled

i don't feel so good guys

It's okay to lie to yourself isn't it?

i cant lie anymore

I have lost my fire and can't seem to get it back

>Spend whole life in poverty (been homeless multiple times, even as young as 7)
>No father because he's always arrested
>Mother is drug addict so not exactly a good role model
>Everything is way too much and contemplate ending it all
>Workout as a means to channel my hate and frustration
>Use my drive and fire to escape
>Get a degree, work shitty job and save to go to a new country

Now I am in a new country, more money than I've ever had, got a loving religious virgin girlfriend and I'm healthy. The problem now is I've lost that drive and fire because I have all the things I dreamed of having.

How do I rekindle that fire fit? How do I get back that young man who just worked even harder when things got tough?

ur cute :)

Find a hobby you can challenge yourself
or maybe trying something new like learning a new language or climbing a mountain

aim for the presidency duh

Don't. You will regret it.

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Pics or didn't happen.

I keep crying in my sleep. Not while falling asleep. Not before either, but during. Wake up to a wet pillow and my eyes are super puffy/swollen. I just ignore it, make my coffee, and trudge off to my shit job.

How do I make this shit stop? It's embarrassing.

Mental health and fitness is important too, OP. I appreciate you asking

Thanks user that genuinely helped a lot. I’m gonna invite her over tomorrow post workout and tell her I like her anyway, then if I get shot down I’ll at least have definite answer and can move on to the next one.

Take your tdee and subtract your tdee
If you're that fat just fast

You ok brah?

Thanks for asking user, I got into a group for a project class and felt pretty worthless for some reason. Felt pretty depressed, had some McDonald's, now I'm pretty tired of feeling like this so I'm gonna go hard at the gym from now on. It's the only way I can cope. Need to work on my social skills too.

i dont want to keep doing this anymore

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Pretty good right now. I've been spending almost all of my free time recently doing homework, which sucks, but it could be worse. I like my major (EE), and I make time to lift 3 days a week and eat healthy. Becoming stronger in my faith has helped a lot too, I don't know where I'd be right now if I didn't start going back towards God about a year ago.

I took a deload week because my bench stopped progressing (same weight for 2 weeka) and was stoked to hit the weights hard on Monday
Monday morning comes around and I wake up with a high fever
I just want to bench 2pl8 already bros

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Well guys I tried being what the world considers fair and just. I lived by proper morals but that never got me anywhere. People seem to only respect those that they want something from or someone that can take something away from them. Unless people are willing to enforce some rule upon me then I'm not following it. Anything I want I will try to take. No longer will I let people have it out of the kindness of my heart. Dogs all of you.

So... school or what?

wage slavery . thank you for asking by the way. it actually means a lot .

I wrote a short suicide note the other day. It's still tucked it into my worn-out copy of "Meditations". Lifting is the only thing that gives meaning to my life, but I can feel its effect waning.

Every night I fall asleep envisioning myself calling 911 and ending it so my roommates won't have to find my body. I don't pity myself. I'll wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.

Be less miserable

Not going to make it with women...

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Go to the library or some shit to do your work. Being away from home always motivated me to get focused.

dealing with the fact that you can't rush therapy or healing
want to get over ex's abuse but it's lingering
depression comes in waves
no luck with ladies- none interested I guess
get panciky at times and spiral not doing anything when work piles up

but I'm still alive and that's progress I think
any tips anons?
Thanks and God Bless!

Let yourself free. Take what you want. Set aside morals. It isn't like you'll go to heaven anyway(probably not real) for suiciding yourself. Hey you can always kill yourself worst case scenario and then you are just back where you started so there is only up!!!!

I'm 21 and I have never had a job or any sort of education I don't care and my parents don't care about me either I am currently drunk. I'd care about myself if I had even one person who seemed like they genuinely cared about me

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Most of us are in the same boat man. Only you can change it if it's making you feel that way.

You're young man. You have so much time to forge a fulfilling life and do anything you want. I care about you bro. Chase your dreams and care about what's important to you.

learn a trade that interests you.