Getting out of the militafy

only one way out and you know it
why don't you give your family back home a medal of honour by jumping some afghans

fucking pussy

if you knew you were a lazy fuck why didn't you go chairforce? Why would you pick the hardest most motivation necessary, most patriotic branch?

>t. someone who has never been in the military
>t. "that" guy

You can choose one.

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Since I was 9/10 I noticed that I would skip some words when I was writing anything in school. My thoughts tell me I've written it all down but after I proof read I've missed a word or two.
Here's an example:
>"And that's why fat fucks put down the fork for fucks sake."
>"And that's why fat fucks should* put down the fork for fucks sake."*
When I was in the 4th and 5th grade teachers would ask me to help the kids in my class that couldn't read fluently. I would also read books to 1st and 2nd graders.

I think that my thoughts are faster than my writing. Any anons like this?

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>I joined the marine corps infantry
>willingly joined the US army
You dumb motherfucker. You deserve to be fucked for that stupid action.

>implies the US Marines and US Army are the same thing
>Calls someone a dumb motherfucker in the next line

pottery

Everyone does this. Its why proof reading exists.

My brain makes whole paragraphs while writing a sentence at a regular speed, still no words get skipped because of the ability to perform sentences while proofreading the ones being written at the moment. There would also be enough brain-RAM left to make a grocery list and win against 'deep blue' in a game of chess.

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You can't beat mush into anything other than mush.
The meme that the military makes you into a man is just that. A meme.

Im actually shipping to boot camp in a few weeks going 03. I workout 5 6 days a week i can do 23 pullups in a row under 9 minute 1.5mile. What can i do to earn respect of marines in the fleet and do you have any advice on how to make my experience a good one? Thank you for the courage you showed in joining. Also what is day to day life like as a grunt? I want to be a machine gunner but will be content to be a rifleman.

fucking seriously. what do you fucking morons here want? fucking CEO lifestyles?

My cousin did. Made Sgt the month he got out

Shoulda joined air force like me

I just kick back and defend assets

He was not an 03xx, or if he was he had a 5-6 year contract.

What mos did you choose?

don't listen to the OP he's a faggot boot. im this guyIf your fitness numbers are for real and not exaggerated, you are a fucking stud. Do not settle for being a simple 0311. In SOI, definitely go for 0331/0341/0351 (0352s are fags, avoid that MOS at all cost. If the choice is between 0311 and 0352, be an 0311). You want to end up in a weapons PLATOON in a line company. You might not be given this choice when you are sent to your fleet unit, but if they allow you to choose between weapons company or a weapons platoon in a line company, go for the weapons platoon without hesitation. Weapons company breeds pampered faggot whiners that get to ride trucks everywhere and never have to hump. Weapons platoon breeds spartan juggernaut warriors that bear hardships and suffer in silence. The #1 benchmark of a grunt's worth is his ability to hike. PFT, CFT, swim qual, etc all of that shit is secondary compared to how well you hike(pic related, dude on the right was skinny as a rail and did like 9 pullups but he humped his fucking m240 and ammo like a beast and was well respected for it). In a wpns platoon you be expected to keep pace with the regular rifleman while also carrying about 25-35 extra pounds of gear on top of the rifleman's load. This leads to supreme bragging rights, bravado, and camaraderie among the weapons guys that riflemen or weapons company can't hope to match. It will suck. hard. but as soon as you see the first faggot 0311 falling back with a load that is 30 lbs lighter than yours it gets easier, because there is no way a proper weapons platoon Marine will allow himself to fall out and join the ranks of the shitbird 0311s.

If you do end up being sent to a weapons company rather than a weapons platoon, i suggest you take your unit's Scout Sniper indoc at the first available opportunity. Stud like you should have no problem passing it and Sniper platoon is a MUCH better place to be than faggot weapons company.

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Is it true that all the girls are giant sluts?

Infantry contract

The Marines don't get to choose their exact job beforehand(except for reservists). Instead, they enlist into a job field. For example, he is probably enlisting on an 03xx contract, meaning he will be infantry. His specific job within the infantry is yet to be decided until the 2nd phase of School of Infantry. The students' performance is evaluated throughout the first phase and if you don't suck you will be allowed to choose a heavy weapons specialty(0331 machine gunner, 0341 mortarman, 0351 assaultman, etc.), or just stick with the standard 0311 rifleman if that's what suits you. If you do suck you will just be assigned as an 0311 and not be given any choice in the matter. The other job fields operate on a similar but possibly slightly different selection system.

Armyfag here, get your shit together faggot.

Thanks a lot for the advice. I have been working out like that for years. I also do 6 7 mile rucks with 50 60lbs for fun. So I would say I have a good base. I have an uncle who is retired (infantry major) and a rrtired uncle who was a gunny (machine gunner) I was going to go intel (cause no college degree) but he told me to go infantry cause you dont want to be a POG lol. Also said that they did it and they were fine so I should be. I will definitely want follow your advice because I love pushing myself I want to be a fucking PT stud and set the example of being a fucking spartan badass. Is it worth it to date some female Marines? I see some really cute ones now and again.

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i did 5 months in 2011 and went awol. I thought they would send people to my house but nothing happened.

Godspeed young user I was in your shoes a decade ago. Even though you're a stud there will be times that you want to quit. Remember that you have to WANT it badly and push through those times. 99% of your life is going to suck, but the 1% will make it all worthwhile. Give this a listen, it's got some pretty good advice in it. youtube.com/watch?v=9RgzGe27WOY

>Is it worth it to date some female Marines? I see some really cute ones now and again.

Stay the fuck away. Do not even acknowledge their existence. Trust me.

Are you in the military yourself or are you just one of those neets who always acts like a Catholic Dad?

Thank you based user I will serve with honor

any experiences with female marines? I'm really baffled on how marines work with females included

0811 artillery memerine here, don't be a faggot and quit OP. You signed the fucking contract so you should fucking go through with it. Dont get me wrong this shit sucks, but I don't regret joining. Work hard and be respectful and your NCOs will give you an easier time. I hit the fleet awhile back and it sucks when you first get in. All the hazing and bullshit, especially being the skinny faggot I am. Since then I picked up lance coolie and I've been working my ass off, now my NCOs love me and my idiotic antics. I barely do anything cause all the boots get stuck with the shit jobs. It's not that hard, show some fucking initiative and push through. The bullshit never ends, you just get used to it. It gets easier. Dont be a bitch, not everyone gets to live the 03 meme. I love artillery, but 03s take the cake for the most bullshit. Hope you take this to heart and push through. Semper fidelis

If anyone else has any questions about the meme corps ask away

care to expand on meme hazing?

This sounds like some good info

Why do marines touch either and cover for it?

nytimes.com/2018/09/07/magazine/sexual-assault-marine-corps.html#commentsContainer

Is it a good idea for robots to join the marines? I just really want to get out of my parents house.

>tfw flunked college, wanted to join military to gain discipline and structure.
>too fat at weigh in.
>go home

How the fuck did a robot pass basic training? I'm surprised and impressed. I've been to Paris island to visit my marine friend when he graduated. That shit seems rough

BULLSHlT

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Not all robots are fat and lazy. I jog at night up to ten miles and can bench 350 and i'm in my thirties. My fatass dad passed muster back in 'nam and he was an out of shape piece of shit before joining. That's what basic is for(as told to me by various recruiters.)

Because everyone touches each other and nobody wants to be a rat.

I was in same boat. Did navy Nuke program. Basically, just go to the psych ward and say you feel like the military environment is preventing you from doing your job. Don't say you are suicidal, but say you think about it. Fill out the forms to make yourself looked depressed. Etc. Should be straight forward once the process starts. I was out in about 1 month,

I didn't think so but still. Basic training sounded like hell to me. I try to stay fit too, wish i had more time to work out though with work and school.

Serve your time and get your dd214. This is the ONLY correct answer.

If you arent fat and actually want a challenge sure.

Youre lying btw. Unless you fraud

i run and lift on a regular basis. I don't mind a challenge either. Only thing I can't stand is being around other people.

Do not join the Marines. It's a trap. It's where all the window licking morons go. You'll go in, they will break your body, then they will drop you so fucking fast.

Only morons enlist anyways.

Meme hazing usually depends on your unit and mos. In artillery it's pretty bad, especially in my battery. When I got there our boys had just returned from a combat deployment to Syria so they were salty as fuck. Our hazing wasnt terrible. Long field days, lots of stupid games, getting treated like you're still a recruit. It's pretty good times. They usually dont lay hands on you, but one time I fucked with my Sgt a little too much and he dragged me into a secluded hallway and slammed me against the wall and knees me a couple times. Still kept going with my autism and then got choke slammed into a wall. It's good times tho, I know my place and my boundaries. After he finished beating me up we shook hands and are still good friends to this day

>sucking the cock of the dude that beat your ass
the military brainwashing truly is god-tier
>inb4 cope

If youre serious go recon or army ranger. Standard grunt units and gonna suck ass

Says that fat virgin from his moms house

I should be a prophet by this point

And yet you continue to be a loss.

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if you aren't retarded switch to air force, it requires mid-high tier intelligence which is something most military personnel lack but if you get in you can get a pilot's license basically for free and it's at least four times easier than anything you'll do in the army or marines.

Or y'know you can join the national/coast guard if you want to stay in the military but do as little military stuff as possible.

t. RAAF vet

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>he dragged me into a secluded hallway and slammed me against the wall
>knees me a couple times
>then got choke slammed into a wall
>I know my place and my boundaries
>After he finished beating me up we shook hands and are still good friends to this day
No matter how you spin it, this is the most pathetic shit I have ever heard jesus christ, you sound like an abused wife.

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There seems to be a lot of experience in this thread, i'm not in the Marine Corps rather the Army. How can i go about going to BH for depression without getting booted for it?

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It's hard to explain to someone who's not in. The military, marines in specific, has a very unique and autistic culture. Fighting and hazing is common place in units that aren't full of bitches. In some cases, it's a tradition amongst friends to blood pin or blood stripe a marine when he picks up rank. In my scenario, I was kind of out of line so i deserved the ass beating. In cases where someone tries to lay hands for no reason, you can drop blouse and rank doesnt matter no more. I took it cause I went overboard and honestly laughed at him the whole time. Hes my section chief (basically the marine that runs our gun), and we are pretty tight so in that case the ass beating was warranted. Essentially he has rank and experience on me, so he rates to correct me if I'm being too autistic. The cycle goes on, I haze my boots as well if they give me any bullshit and they will haze their own boots when the time comes. I try to be pretty chill with them, but let's be honest boots are boots and they're pretty goddamn retarded

>inb4 trying to justify hazing

It's the corps, don't be a fucking pussy and itll stop before long. Not the end of the world

I feel like im reading a cuck tale and the next part is him blacking your wife.

>marines
>not army

You should've chosen better.

so the self-described "autistic" marines act like niggers under the disguise of building "brotherhood", when in reality is to mentally prepare the soldier to fully obey orders so as to not negate the order that could very well kill him.
By any chance, do you believe you fight for freedom?

I mean its not far from the truth, getting cucked while on deployment is commonplace out here. It's why i stay away from any sort of committed relationship while I'm in. Getting cucked is basically guaranteed, no matter how Chad one may be

Why do I feel like you get a boner whenever your recount this moment to people?

>cuck tale
>cuck tales
>Cuck Tales
>whoooo
>mfw

Lmao look at this welfare queen

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and here you are on r9k, not much less pathetic eh?

im a failed normie who's fucked bitches and has a college degree (albiet worthless). im not turbo chad but im not a bitch by any means. i got DQd from the air force for what im gonna assume the cause was a trauamtic brain injury/skull fracture i got when i was 16. im 27 now. do you guys think the army would waive me? I can't lie about it because there's a scar that runs along the side of my cranium that is easily noticeable when my head is shaved.

anyone?

You sound like a fag OP

Essentially yes. They claim that the games they play have actually value and even though it's hard to believe, if you look at the shit hard enough you can dig some sort of "valuable" bullshit out of it. Senseless beating a boot bloody while drunk is just overboard, but I can see the point of the other not so overt hazing methods. Despite this, I think theres better ways to brainwash someone into being a compliant killing machine then stupid fucking bullshit. It's all head games and dick measuring contests out here lad. It gets petty, but like I said it's just a cycle of saltiness that perpetuates.

I am not patriotic nor do I care for the "serving the country" meme. That's all bullshit to trick people into joining. I joined because I was sick of school and wanted to get out of my parents house and actually do something. In retrospect maybe I shoulda stayed in school, but eh too late now. I'll serve my time honorably and go back to school when I'm out. So no, I really dont give a fuck about "freedom fighting" for some dumb sand niggers. I'm just here to work and take a break from school. You'd be surprised that that mindset is not too uncommon. Any marine that says they fight for freedom or to serve the fucking country is either a boot or some vet that just wants to look good. While you're in it's hard to give a fuck

this is such shitty cope

>leaving for navy basic training in a week
>I signed a 6year contract for IT on submarines

How fucked am I?

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Haha no erections here, but it's a pretty funny story to recount for me. Cant say it's a turn on getting beat up, but the bullshit here sucks while it's happening, but makes for good memories later on

>getting lit up
>hey that's pretty funny
fullblown slave complex, you're the perfect soldier (there is nothing wrong with it).

Yeah you already know dude, fighting against the brainwashing gets you into more trouble than it's worth. Better to at least be self aware of the slave complex and try to game it as much as possible than to either try to be an edgy rebel or just be completely brainwashed. I only hope that the Jewish tricks are reversible by the time I get out

If you get a good sub and good home port youre gravy.
Youre a loser you wouldnt understand fat boy

The military really doesn't bother chasing runaways beyond maybe a phone call to the parents. Sooner or later it catches up to you anyway. One day you'll want a real job, someone will run a background check, or maybe your SSN will flag when you do your taxes, and out of the blue a Sheriff's Deputy will show up on your doorstep. And before you know it you're picking up trash on the side of the road 8 hours a day on some post somewhere while you spend a couple of weeks going through the motions of a properly unhappy discharge that will haunt you the rest of your life.

It is far less trouble to suck it up and stick out a couple of years than to run away from the service.

Do you have any advice for someone who can't swim and is going to the Navy?

You put it better than I could. Violence is a common and expected occurrence in combat unit. It's a pressure release valve. In any environment that is 99-100% male, isolated, dangerous, and physically challenging you will find fighting commonplace. After I left the military I've worked commercial fishing, oilrigs, and construction in the Alaskan wilderness and there are always fights. Sometimes someone just steps out of line and needs a good whack so that they understand boundaries. However, the worse situation is when two guys build up tension with each over the course of weeks or months. This tension can really put a strain on your unit's capabilities and decrease the unit's combat effectiveness. In this case it preferable for the dudes to just throw a few punches and get it out of their system rather than let it slowly fester among the squad. It rarely goes overboard however. A black eye or a broken nose at the absolute worst, and the two combatants almost always get along better afterwards and the unit's dynamic returns to normalcy.

>I joined the marine corps infantry
Might as well just ignore the retard.

If you join the armed forces you join the Navy or Air Force.
If you cant get into either of those you join the Army in a noncombat job.

You joined the shittiest branch in the shittiest job user.

Bedsides saying to learn?

>How can i go about going to BH for depression without getting booted for it?

You don't, that's the problem. It's why a lot of guys who need help never seek it, then end up in trouble or killing themselves. The military lifestyle is a system without pity or remorse.

you have a chance to become a normie don't fuck this up

seriously i wish i would have accomplished as much as you have. just deal with it and maybe bitch to your government assigned therapist or chaplain or whatever

Exactly, you bring up another good point. Out here if you have a problem with someone, you can settle it by throwing hands and then hugging it out afterwards. It helps keep drama and pettiness to a minimum. Someone has a problem? Drop blouse and throw hands and then shake it out afterwards. Back to being good friends right after. If you fuck up, take the ass beating because its a whole lot fucking better than getting slapped with a NJP or some other idiotic paperwork. It works as a good way to let off steam and makes for good memories to joke about down the road. Anyone who takes shit like that personally is a fucking deskjob warrior.

Going infantry is for retards

Give yourself diabetes or smoke so much you get asthma

T. Medically discharged cuck

Thankings for cervix

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If you're an utter fucking retard, go in as enlisted.
If you're a high-IQ genius (and willing to suck off your higher-ups), go in as an officer.
If you're neither, joining the military is a bad idea.

I was going to tell you to ask /meg/, but I'm pretty sure I saw your post over there.
I'd suggest going the mental illness route. Being a robot, and hating your life right now will make it easier to pull off. Just be sure you don't overdo it.

this, exactly this

___________
SEMPER FI
NEVER DIE
1171 WATERDOG

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How about medically discharged? Just tell them you are feeling suicidal and it effects your work. Honestly the marines are super fucking lazy so idk how you are being overwhelmed. Try being navy like me it is such a pain in the ass

>water dog

Please be joking lad

just a joke
am in DEP though haven't signed anything yet and am going for 03xx

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I'm leaving October 8th for navy, dep fucking sucks. I just saw my twin sister graduate from navy bootcamp August 31st.

Godspeed my autistic child. Enjoy the poolees days filled with motivation, it doesn't last. You probably wont get the job you want either, just make sure you put some good jobs on your wishlist so you dont actually become a watermeme. If you have any questions ask away

DEP isnt that bad though. Just show up once a month and do shit and eat some snacks/coffee. Recruiter doesn't bother us otherwise. I'm AF though so not sure how it is in other beanches

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