What age did you realize you were living a completely different life from other people?

Probably high school as well. Before that I knew I was a bit weird but when I became a teenager I might as well have been a different species. Nowadays I just feel like I'm from a different universe compared to most people.

Fuck this is literally me down to the details. I'm the same age and have been debating if I'm trans for about three years

I wonder if I actually am or if it's just another way for my fucked up mind to escape

I was mostly the same. Never went through the usual teenager stuff, just went to class, went home and played on the PC or watched cartoons. I had always known I was different but it only started to dawn on me how far I was from the lives of others when I got to HS. I never kissed a girl, never smoked or drank, never had the idealized youth you see in mangas and shit. Just classes, home, PC and a few movies or books. Once I graduated, I took a hit because that structure was gone from my life and suddenly everyone was demanding new things of me, things I had never put thought into and had never developed naturally into like the normies. Now I'm just a sad NEET who can't enjoy anything anymore.

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Every girl i have matched on tinder had tons of experiences and im a 22 khv

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When i moved to a new school in 8th grade and had to "make friends" from scratch. Basically i just developed such a hatred and pessimism about conventional socializing, gossip, jr high bullshit really, but that shit changed me seeing it from a removed perspective. Eventually moved back 2 years later and lost touch with all my old friends, who are now your stereotypical fratfags.

>Coast through school while watching lots of TV cartoons
>Coast through HS while playing lots of vidya
>same with uni, graduate as an Accounting major.
>currently coasting through entry level accounting job. Started learning japanese 2 months ago. Dream of playing all those sweet, sweet untranslated porn games one day.
Meanwhile, former classmates are either getting pregnant(if girls) or travelling somewhere(if guys). I'm just happy the way I am.

>college 18yo
>typucal autismo
>stacey from group gets pregnant

For me, it may have started as young as age 10.

I remember being at my aunt's house, and sitting there listening to my parents and aunt and uncle chatting for hours, deep into the night. Of course, I had no ability whatsoever to participate in the conversation -- I just sat there like a stone. Anytime one of them would talk to me, I would get overcome with shyness, and I couldn't respond properly -- which they usually though was cute and would laugh at me for it.

At the time, I guess I figured that eventually when I became an adult I would be able to socialize like they could. But as I grew up, I never changed. As an adult, I still feel like the same person I was at age 10, with the same lack of abilities to participate in the adult social world.

22, working part time min wage for 4 years. Wasted my life, leave for boot camp next month.

Eventually it got to the point where everyone had had a gf except me, even the guy who almost everyone disliked. I realized that I'm just a genetic failure, that no woman will ever love me.

chill with the 40s. I drank about 4 a night every other night and now I'm 28 with my kidneys failure lol

Good luck user, I'm too much of a pussy to do anything like that

dubs of truth. havent touched a 40 since.

whiskey is a different story though

>I was so fucking sheltered. I thought drugs and sex were something rebellious

If you had asked me when I was 18 and a senior in high school: "How many kids in school have ever had sex?", I would have had absolutely no idea, and I would have guessed maybe 5% of them. I just assumed that everyone who was reasonably intelligent knew that it was way too risky to have sex because of STDs or pregnancy. I was a social outcast, so I was never invited into any discussions about sex or boyfriends or girlfriends or anything. I would occasionally overhear girls talk to each other about boyfriend drama so I suspected that some of them had boyfriends, but it would never have occurred to me that they were having sex with their boyfriends. I figured that boyfriends and girlfriends just hugged and kissed, like I would see them do at the dances.

Once I got to college, it started becoming more obvious how many people were having sex because of the girls I sometimes saw coming out of the dorm rooms in the mornings. I'm really glad I lived in the dorms, because otherwise I wouldn't have learned about how common sex was.

It wasn't all bad, though. When I was 38 I got my first girlfriend, and after we got married a year later I got my first chance to experience sex. So if you are like me, it is possible for things to get better.

I'm glad you still managed to make it. Do you feel like you wasted time? I'm about a decade late to the party and kicking myself over it, feeling regret every day for figuring things out so late.

When I was a kid my parents read the Bible together and prayed. I remember other than Sundays the only adult shows I watched other than Full House or Touched by an Angel were Nick at Night shows and I watched that sometimes in the early mornings too.

Most adult shows I watched were I Love Lucy, Bewitched, Lassie, the Munsters, and many shows from the 50s or 60s. For cartoons, half of what I watched was contemporary, the other half were from the 50s and 60s. Same with movies. How would this affect a kid?

Maybe you're on to something. I only ever watched Science, Discovery, Military, and History channels as a kid.

How do you think thst affected you? I think we didn't absorb as much of the same things as a kid. I was also reading books all the time. I remember watching cartoons like this a lot

youtu.be/HdgVcGjzgR4

Or this
youtu.be/Hx0cBCAMQG4

Or this
youtu.be/3wpq0TCGqC0

>be 18 working apprentice butcher and dealer after work
>mum gets me fired from work
>go full time dealer until I get busted like a year later
>spend 10 months in court and not talk to friends
>people break into my house and beat me up and interrogate me
>go crazy dont go outside once for 2 years im now hikikomori addicted to gaming
>realize im too late to start life
>MFW i have been inside 5 years and I cant go outside or I get depersonalization ect
at this point I just know its just too late to bother trying so I have decided I will just KMS some day and enjoy what life I have left
origa

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I read books a lot too. I am diagnosed as autistic, so I think I would have been reclusive either way. If I had watched and enjoyed kids shows I would have been able to relate to other kids better possibly. Although I think it's more likely I'm inherently different and no amount of acting like a normal kid would have made me fit in.

I'm currently 18 but I can say I've never really been a robot. My parents were extremely religious and as such I was incredibly sheltered which led to me becoming a pseudo-normie in secret. I've always been an incredibly gifted student so I never really had friends to begin with.

I guess I always tried to be a normie but the circumstances were never favorable. Hopefully a nice tech job with a triple digit salary starting will even out the odds a bit and I can finally stop being so lonely.

Good luck to all you faggots, we might one day make it.

I was constantly surrounded by people and had to share. There were always neighbors, siblings, extended family in the house. I was even given lots of instruction for socializing yet still can't fit in or blend in. What went wrong?

>getting married and having sex for the first time at 38
>"getting better"
Dying is getting better

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>I was constantly surrounded by people and had to share

This really fucked me up. Maybe some people think it teaches generosity or whatever bullshit but that's not true. It just turned me into a people-pleasing doormat my entire adolescence. I never had much room to grow or a real identity of my own because I did my best to make sure others came first. Not the biggest reason I'm so fucked up but one of them.

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I was also indulged a lot in my upbringing too and my parents put me first. It made me have a double personality between people pleaser and detached super individualist person. I'm not complaining though because I loved my childhood.

For me it was one random day while walking to catch my bus home from school. I went to school out of town with some other kids, so we had our own bus. I was poor, so my dad didn't have a car. But I remember thinking that all these kids get to see each other outside of school and live the life I always wanted to. It got worse and worse as time went on, and now the last think I want is to see any of the people I went to school with, as I would have to face all of my failures in the face of their success. I just wish I knew how to prevent all of this way back then.

listening to classmates describing their social lives and things they did on the weekends

>transitioning over 20
>im sad better become a hon
Do you not have one single braincell in your damn head?

holy fuck hahahaha man he will off himself mega kek

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Pls stop its getting too real

When I was in elementary school like around 6-8. I never made friends and if any said anything bad about me I would attack them

goofy movie

aside from society being generally fukd and school and kids being snobs, bullies, femin infected or whatever, could the shy/withdrawn/observing autist be a result of circumcision?

19 get license taken away. Basically sit in my room 8 years no internet until finally getting computer at 27. Now 36 turns out I've lived under the poverty line my entire life...

When I was four.

I'm not being ironic or memeing here. I remember the whole process quite clearly, and it's haunted me ever since. A teacher told us, our class, something that didn't make sense. Up until this point I just sat quietly and absorbed whatever was said -- adults knew better and if they were telling me, then it must be the way of it. I raised my hand for the first time, thinking I had just missed something and would have them repeat it, but instead of getting an answer I got pulled out of the classroom and told to think about what I'd done. I went from bright-eyed and impressionable to immediately doubting anything anyone ever told me that afternoon.

The worst part was that no one else ever learned to see things the way I did. As I got older it became more and more obvious that no one else thought about things in a similar fashion, and now as an adult I know that they never will. They can't. I'd like to think this gives me an advantage, but the truth is that it's only lead me to ostracize myself.

I think 1-2 years ago, so around 16-17.
>Be just laying in bed thinking about mental illness.
>Haven't been social in so long that I forget how people outside of Jow Forums (mentally ill people) are.
>Think "yeah everyone feels like shit mostly".
>"Everyone can get depressed haha."
>Remember that reality isn't like this.
>Remember that the average person doesn't hate the thought of going on.
>Remember the average person actually WANTS to keep living.
>The average person doesn't squirm and cry to themselves in bed about how shitty they are.
>The average person doesn't self harm.
>The average person doesn't isolate themselves from others for 20+ hours a day.
>The average person doesn't have talk to themselves for hours.
>The average person wants to socialise
>The average person isn't a shitty pile of garbage.
>The average person is actually happy.
>The average person isn't mentally ill.

This goes for Jow Forums too.
I have no one to turn to.

>The average person isn't mentally ill
KEK you wouldn't know
Both men and women, both young and old. From massive daddy issues to social anxiety, a HELL LOT of normies actual suffer from various psycho shit (to some extent)

You should be happy that the NPCs were programmed that way to make your simulated world more rich and enjoyable.

When I was 16
>be in high school
>up to that point I knew I was strange and not like other people, but I thought I was just a late bloomer and that people my age didn't actually have sex haha that would be crazy right
>even managed to have a small group of normalfag friends
>finally graduate high school
>"friends" invite me on a trip, I don't really want to go but I say yes anyway
>while on the trip, they're going to parties, talking to girls, and I'm just sitting there and the only thing I want to do is stay in the room and listen to music
>they pretty much shun me/make fun of me for the rest of the trip
>once I get home I cut contact with them and start becoming more withdrawn
>eventually I realize that I'm just not like other people
Now 21 years old and the only thing I look forward to in life is acquiring the means to live a silent and solitary life. I wish people would disappear.

Becoming "trans" randomly in or after puberty is a clear sign of you just trying to escape your current life. If you like men just be a girly boy with a boyfriend and be done with it.
If you think you are trans but you don't like men / want a gf, then you are a hopeless case.

22 is still very young, 2 years ago you couldn't even buy alcohol yet. I feel like the ones getting at fckig 22 are the ones who are going to hate the rest of their life

>still waiting for life to start
This was the mistake I made. I didn't recognise that I was abnormal and that to change things I had to start changing myself, so I kept regressing further and furtheer while waiting for things to progress. By the time I realised (18+) it was probably too late.

I really wish my parents had said something to me, it should have been obvious that I was a huge fucking loser but they just kept enabling it. The only time I ever got any feedback was when I was watching tv with my mom on a saturday and she turned around and said to me, practically hysterical, "why are you still here?". I had no idea how to respond to that.

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Since I remembered anything, it started like a harmless thing (School was so small the only person I can remember is a girl) and it got worse with time.

at 13 when i realized everyone was hanging out with each other after school instead of just going home like me.

But they are. I can't find one household that didn't have an abusive psychotic parents from all walks of life. What you see on the surface that people present is a superficial lie just like positive shit on a person's filtered facebook page. The world is incredibly more deranged these days.

I'm 33, not KHV but have been NEET for the past few years due to late BPD diagnosis. I haven't had any bipolar symptoms for years really but I kind of realized I just have different values than most of my fellow Americans recently. I enjoy socializing but my friendship isn't as conditional as everyone else's. Maybe it's because I used to be a chad personal trainer raking in tons of cash, but once I got into my thirties it really seemed like all of my friends across the social spectrum became extremely narcissistic... like everyone is just using each other. I don't do this. Anyways I guess the answer to your question OP is 33?

Sorry that post is a bit scatter brained, what I mean is because i was already atop the social pyramid at one point in my life an disappointed with it, maybe I value it less.

Probably when I was 8. Everyone would hang out with each other while they rejected me.

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You're not the only one and I'm glad to hear more of such stories. It isn't what it's cracked up to be. There's no purpose in all of it or meaningful productive relationship formed in that normalfag success. It's one big hedonistic soul drain.

Fuck man 22 seems way to early for people to be settling down and shit. I'm turning 22 in a couple months here... fuck. I kinda bailed on college b/c depression over a year ago, lived the neet life, and am just now trying to go back and do things right this time. I'm gonna do my best to take things more seriously this time, and to religiously do my work and study. The only potential roadblock is losing all my motivation and willpower to depression again... hopefully I can power through it. I know I'm pretty behind my peers now but at least if things go as planned it won't really matter in the long term, right? Also to answer your original question probably a few months into college to fully realize it, but had known a certain amount for a long time.

Underrated comment right here oooooooooooooooohhhh saaay can you seeee

Much love user. Ya it's weird because I ended up forming extremely long (like 15 year +) friendships with a lot of failed normie introverts and thought we had real connections. But the older I get the more they fall into the normie trappings and slowly become sociopathic. Literally had to cut one of my two long term best friends off this year because we could only be friends on his very specific terms (where he treated me like a burden that he was ashamed of). Wouldn't introduce me to his girlfriend, stopped inviting me to his family gatherings (that ive been going to for 15 years) etc. My other friends tried to excuse his behavior saying something aking to "well you know hes a control freak" but I know they are just saying it because he's not treating THEM like shit. And I'm not a hypocrite because he did this to someone else when we were kids and I took a stand back then and said i wasnt cool with it. I mean just the fact people are OK with him doing it to me and make excuses for him where i didnt, indicates they think using people is O.K. Again, I'm just not like that.

It hit me at before the summer of 9th grade. I suddenly realised people never let me to talk about my thoughts, I never really had a friend, and spent my time on random things.

At the moment I'm still trying to make friends, take care of myself, and my grades.

I made some friends, I look better now, I realied some of my interests and things I'm good at. Hope i'll find love in a short time and make memories.

People are garbage
The earlier you realize this, the easier your life will be.

Is this the thread where I can find a comfy aspie to gib msg to trcfvgjvbkbfyxjtg : protonmail . com
t. comfy aspie

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Do u want to be a primate that acts on instict like those "peers"? Maybe u realised that its not worth it to " commit" to a person that doesnt commit to u and never will. Just look for answers.

Its been a thing since elementary, but I only realized it during middle school, around the time teens were first getting cellphones, and "texting"/using Myspace. I barely talked with people, and probably the only "friends" I had likely pitied me.

In HS and college it just got worse. I never was social, never had a guy, KHHV, and currently applying to places to no avail. I know people say "work on yourself" or "when you're older you'll find someone" but it's just vague normalfag excuses, as even in HS people were pairing up. I found out a couple dating since 08 got married recently. I still out out for hope, but seems almost pointless as I'll probably have to settle for some whore who won't love me.

You are the freak, you know.

How does it feel knowing the woman you now have has had sex with 10s if not hundreds of men before you?

You know that less than 15% of all women have 9 or more lifetime sexual partners. Right?

What do you think one night stands are?

If a person does one night stands (meaning it's a new guy every time) every other day for years, how many sexual partner would she have had over the span of, say, 5 years?
AT LEAST A THOUSAND

Nightclubs are for one night stands. The average woman goes to nightclubs AT LEAST 2 times a week. The average woman has sex AT LEAST ONCE every time they go to a night club.

CAN YOU DO THE MATH?

22 is the official age for this specific feel I'm sure.
>unifags graduate
>most other people have proper careers
>everyone is in a relationship
>more and more people are starting to get engaged or have kids
>everyone goes "out" regularly, meanwhile you don't even remember the last time you went to a pub, club or party
>people have been "travelling" and whored themselves out in europe or southeast asia, meanwhile you've never even been on a holiday outside of family ones
>you speak to people your age and realise you have no idea what they're talking about
>you look down on them for being "normies", and yet you also feel inferior
>you look at 16-18 year olds today and realise even they've done all of the things that you've failed to accomplish by 22

22? you're still young as fuck. get out there and be social and shit before you turn 30 and its no longer endearing to have poor social skills

I don't know, user, I watched a lot of normal cartoons as a kid and was still an outcast. If anything it may have skewed my perception of how normies worked.

>I do not know any women and cannot do math
So you think every week FORTY MILLION women
>estimate of single women 18 to 45
troop to night clubs twice a week and get laid each time, requiring that forty million single men ALSO get fucked.
So you super-fucking-geniuses honestly believe that 50% of the adult population is getting fucked at nightclubs twice a fucking week?!
I bet you ALSO shriek that 80% if the women are fucked by 20% of the men, right?
Fucking retards, man

>being this much of a seething roastie

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>still waiting for life to start

Straight from Kaiji.

>be me
>13
>anxious to get out my house
>I didnt even go to barber
>I looked like mess
>I had hallucination from depression
>I had low self esteem
>I had anxiety attacks whenever Im in public
>I stood infront of a door waiting to open it
>I couldnt do it
>No friends
>No gf
Even after 6 year where my depression and social anxiety is almost eradicated I did not change at all

>tfw was passable even prior to starting HRT
Sounds like someone is jelly user

You have never even smelled a womans hair, have you?

If I wanted to know how roastie hair smelled like I'd just smell my cum

Tfw you have a big tittie wife that gives you milkies while she jerks you and plays vidya with you afterwards.
I was beta asf until I got a retail job and was forced to talk to people. Took my about 2 years to learn how to talk to girls without spahetting everywhere.

I'm afraid you need to leave

What the fuck can I even do as a sheltered dude? I'm so socially retarded that even basic things are lost on me, and I have nothing or no one to learn from.

First step to becoming a man is to never envy another.

That's not envy though. Envy would be if I wish you'd lose her, which I don't.

>I have never felt the touch of a woman
>BUT I am an expert on women
Never change, robots

>>unifags graduate
>tfw 20 and freshman
h-haha

In two/three parts really. First was when I realized I was "missing the hardware" other kids had, examples being my inability to understand the flow of conversation as well as my struggle to have natural responses verbally and facially to people.

The secondish part was when I reflected on elementary and middle school and realized I never bothered with socializing, but never was "bullied". I generally avoided it entirely and read encyclopedias and skill-development books.

The third thing that actually led to everything clicking for me was when my mom told me I was really late with talking and went through the stores sorting things. I'd also throw fits if things weren't done in the way I determined was right. Apparently this behavior was notable enough that my mom took me to a pediatrician, but they just said I was "gifted" and that I didn't feel like talking, hence my abnormal behavior.

I've been diagnosed as OCD, but the compulsions and obsessions have been life-long instead of developing in my teen years and my mom refuses to mention/reaffirm my development (needed for diagnosis) to psychologists since "I'm not as severe as the autists in my family and she doesn't think I'm disabled" since apparently if it's not life ruining, it's not worth mentioning.

I'd like to seek help, since I'd like to learn how the average person knows when to speak and how they do their faces. I don't really care for people, but knowing how to fake it will probably help me in the long run.

How many of you had my progression?

>Born
>Normal early years
>Get interested in books and vydia
>Only one real childhood friend who is similar to me
>Good academically, becomes pillar of identity, get further into books and vydia
>Don't socialize at all except with friend
>Do my work, go home, play vydia
>This goes on until mid-HS
>Realize I might as well be an alien to these people
>Grades start dropping, fall into the NEET mindset of not caring, dive into vydia even more
>Graduate, go to college, everything goes to shit
>Spend the last months of the first semester locked in my dark apartment thinking of suicide
>Leave, become NEET
>Reach a sort of zen state where I no longer care about or feel anything
>Go to college again for a job that will allow me to work from home and be a pseudo-NEET
>Do my work, go home, play vydia
>But there is no joy in it anymore
>I am like a machine

Where the fuck do you guys live where 22 year olds have reached their life goals, are successful and married?
There is no difference between an 18 and a 22 year old, 99% of all people I know are an emotional mess who reached shit all, dropped out of college and are single.
I know exactly one successful selfmade guy at the age of 22, the rest don't know what they should do, because their parents are retarded boomers with "Kids educate themselves" attitude.

Most male college graduates I know had their bachelor degree at 27-30. I don't count women, since they got handed everything without doing anything, they live life on tutorial mode with all cheatcodes enabled.

Funny
Most normalfags would include you as part of the team. "Grown up" they'd call you. "Being an adult,' they'll say. "Mature."
All they want is to bring people down to their level of suffering and then praise them for it so they can delude themselves of the shitty situation they're otherwise in.
Pursue happiness and joy user. You owe it to yourself. You owe it to spite this shitty state of living that everyone will pat themselves on the back and call themselves mature for"

What did you do? Was it the way you asked your question or did you question some sort of emotional/personal thing?

>user thinks he is special
He might not be intentionally lying, but take it with a grain of salt

17. I was a pretty normal child. My parents considered me to be a little selfish and reclusive, but for the most part I was perfectly normal. Then puberty hit like a fucking truck. Everybody around me suddenly changed, but I remained the same. I had no interest in girls, socializing, relationships, etc. I just wanted to play vidya and chill. There were two moments that I remember vividly where I realized just how different I was.

#1
>be me
>17
>attend some crappy town fair/ dragon boat race event with my parents.
>this was around that time when they were getting desperate about my lack of social life, so they pretty much forced me to go.
>most of my classmates are there, turns out they have their own team and will compete in the race
>tfw I didn't know that 75% of my class had been planning and practicing for some boat race.
>some of them ask me if I can hold on to their cellphones while they row, so they don't get wet/lost/stolen
>this was back before screen locks were widely used
>go through everybody's phones
>notice that they all send literally several hundred text messages every single day
>quickly did the math and realized most of these send more than one hundred thousand texts per year
>I am literally at a loss for words. I can't believe what I am seeing.
>meanwhile I had three numbers on my phone, my moms, my dads and my brothers, and I probably send 2 texts per month.
>I thought cell phones primarily existed so that you could call a mechanic when your car broke down, or to order pizza, or to arrange a meeting, and other shit like that
>I had no idea people socialized using phones.

#2 in next post

Right around the time I was finishing middle school and entering high school. One year it seemed like everyone was still a child like me and then once that summer ended, it was like everyone grew up into an adult. People had sex, did drugs and drank, had romantic relationships, went out without parental supervision and shit like that. It was like my classmates grew up without me and I never was able to catch up.

#2
>be me
>19
>growing up my parents always encouraged me to be more social, asking/forcing me to go to all kinds of events in the community
>I can't tell you how many times my parents have forced my brother to drag me with him to the beach, sports games, parties, etc.
>my brother is going to a barbeque with some of his friends, who were technically also my friends since I had no friends and piggybacked on him.
>this is exactly the kind of event my parents would try to get me to attend
>they say nothing
>I'm really surprised by this. It just doesn't make sense why my parents aren't bitching about this
>I ask my dad "don't you want me to go"
>dad answers "I just want you to be happy"
>tfw he had finally given up

That's what I assumed. I've had teachers berate me for random shit, depending on context and age. It's not really notable.

I found the most notable thing to be whenever they start to pity you. Having people regularly ask me if I'm ok or if something is wrong is really annoying, mainly because I tend to avoid conversations and showing emotion so they assuming I'm broken.

I've learned to live with it at this point, and instead just tune it all out.

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What did you do all day without a computer?