Monkey Paw Thread

You get one Jow Forums related wish, anything you could possibly dream of will be granted.

Dubs says how the wish backfires and you are punished for fucking around with fate.

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there is now one lift you can do to train the entire body at once, not just a lot of it

eat whatever the fuck i want and stay at 8% bodyfat without fucking my health/hormones/muscle mass

I wish I had an at home chef/nutritionist with unlimited ingredients for free

Scooby will be there to cheer you on and guide you in all workouts, will carry you home when your legs are too sore.

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Make my oneitis love me back I beg

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She loves you obsessively, to the point where she tries to kill you over imagining you cheating.

I choose sneed.

I wish for knee grows

She’ll pass away at the end of the day

She loves you back, but only if you open the relationship.

Twice a month she goes to Jamal's house overnight.

All injuries including cell death heal within 24 hours, basically immortality.

Her penis is much larger than yours

You can never transition to become the woman you want to be. Your surgically mutilated slit just morphs back into a dick the next day.

The ability to schedule my sleep and have nothing barring emergency wake me up

you cant turn it off, and so you see you outlive your loved ones and watch them pass away one by one

Drumpf's presidency is an emergency. You get no sleep for the next 4 months until he's impeached.

Reaching T-Rex mode and being there forever

i really dont give a fuck about this, im immortal man, ill forget about them in 20 years

Get new loved ones?

You can't heal your heart user. :(

You can now eat whatever you want and remain at 8% body weight. But unless you eat 10000 kcal every day, your gains will disappear at an alarming rate.

You are now immortal. But the cellular regeneration is too efficient and you grow benign tumors all over your skin and organs, rendering you with dysfunctional digestion and an appearance that repulses even your closest friends and relatives.

Every night there's an emergency.

dear monkey paw gimme big calves

My squat and deadlift go way up and I get a joocy ass

You now have muscular dystrophy.

I wish to be the pinnacle of male strength and athleticism