>My boyfriend was abused as a kid. >His dad beat him and namecalled him and it still affects him to this day. >All I know is that he was molested (no idea by who). He can't talk about it without crying and getting uncomfortable. He will sometimes get triggered during sex, but I don't know what by. >I want to help him so badly... He has resources but he finds it hard to use them to open up about this.
I know some of you guys have seen some fucked up shit.. What should I do? What helped you if you were in his or my position?
He does have one but doesn't see her very often since it's quite expensive. He also tells me that he feels intimidated talking to her which I understand, also it's not really my place to ask. I also tried having him seek addiction counselling since he's a little dependent on alcohol and that's covered by provincial health care- I went a while back and they also do some free therapy/counselling which would really help him imo. Only problem is he cancelled the appointment behind my back.. He doesn't seem to want help ..
Caleb Garcia
>her That might be part of the problem.
Jaxon Ortiz
im in more or less the exact same position, except my bf knows who did it (a family member whom he never speaks to but hears about all the time from other family), and it doesnt seem to affect him day to day or during sex. long term effects took him years to try and get over and his childhood sounds incredibly awful. it absolutely kills me that the person who did it got 0 repercussions and won't ever be punished without bf's entire reputation and family getting destroyed in the process.
the best advice i can give is not to mention it unless necessary or relevant, NOT to tell anyone unless he for some reason says so, and not to make absent comments implying he's never really been victimized etc (probably not something you'd be likely to forget in your case, but still). also . and of course, love and care for him and be an all around good gf, which it sounds like you are. good luck to both of you
Brody Price
I'm really glad i'm not alone on this.. Thank you so much, user. That's great advice, I didn't know I could successfully create a wholesome thread here haha
William Hill
Fuck off roastie cunts. Go talk about your sex haver bfs on Facebook or something.
Charles Williams
This man
Who the fuck on Jow Forums wasn't abused as a kid, fucking normals having gfs can fuck off
Ayden Flores
microdosing hallucinogenic mushrooms
I am not kidding
Charles Green
Can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves, sadly.
My girlfriend was abused by her mom. Therapy has helped her for nearly a decade, good habits help her (working out together and staying healthy), and just supporting and loving each other works. The big thing is that she herself wants to improve so takes it all very seriously, since our relationship is on the line here if, you know, she just stops caring.
You just gotta tell him he needs to get help and take it seriously, if he doesn't then it will hurt you in the long run. If he loves you then he'll get help.
Dylan Williams
Shit tier bait. A woman would never go this much out of her way to help her money source.
James Bailey
You should try to find him another therapist, for a lot of people it takes several to find someone who works for you
Daniel Clark
He did acid when he was younger, dad caught him and got the shit beat outta him for months,
Schizophrenia also runs in his family so probably not a good idea..
I think I might wanna do some for some insight though
Leo Ward
Stop being a faggot who gets off grillposting
Blake Reed
Hey, he's not just a money source.. He cooks and has a big dick too.
Jayden Brooks
>triggered during sex i know exactly how this feels, but i don't know how to approach it myself even. that fact that he may be trying to "forget it completely" and tries very very hard to "erase" it from his memory will only further negatively reinforce those triggered feelings. with me it got so bad, i couldn't have a single intimate chain of thought, or a daydream/fantasy without "it" popping into my head. it feels like a breech of privacy, like he is forcing himself into my mind, and violating it. it got so bad, i couldnt look at peoples faces without seeing "his" face. i stopped watching cartoons and anime because the themes and the faces reminded me of "him" it got so bad that even normal mundane things like, a certain smell, or a small action, or even an inanimate object will remind you of "it" idk i was forced to grow up with my abuser, so naturally, all the life lesseons and experiences ive learned so far, are somehow realated to "him". so i feel like there is nothing i can do to forget it's exsistence. for a while when i was homeless, i iwas so busy just tryna get by, i really did forget about it for a years or two. but recently "he" has been reintroduced into my life, and things got pretty violent between us, and now im back into full swing of PTSD
I'm so sorry that happened to you... That must really fucking suck. What helps you cope nowadays? What do you wish people could do to accommodate you (that is, if you want that)?
Owen Gomez
>big dick Fucking genetic lottery winner. I'd gladly get the shit beat out of me and be molested if it meant I got to have a big dick
>r9k >animeposter >asking for advice about a mollestation victim who may have been a family member
Lol this is either terrible bait or the dumbest "girl" on the web. Dont ask for advice here wtf.
Just rape him until the tears stop and he gets this thousand-yard stare in his eyes while he ejaculates inside you. Dont forget to call him a slut/whore for enjoying it, maybe slap him on occasion if he goes limp.
Wyatt Young
I mean, quite honestly we do that but it's consensual .. sorry to be invading your precious incel bubble :)
Jkjk, but seriously if this pisses you off you can just leave
Justin Fisher
microdosing ketamine (a dissociative sedative) has found some cures for really strong depressions with phenotypes of fear of getting hurt
do that
Easton Anderson
Fuck off you fucking whore. I hope he kills himself and you follow.
Dylan Cooper
Just hide the thread and leave. No need to be a dick even if its an anonymous board on the internet.
Brandon Stewart
>what helps you cope drugs: booze,weed,cigs. >What do you wish people could do to accommodate you listen to me bitch about how shitty my childhood was. i don't want you to sympathize or to feel "sorry" just the act of venting, and trying hard to remember the stories is strengthening. like, "oh yeah, it's not entirely my fault i'm so fucked up in the head and bitter towards the world, i just got dealt a really really shitty hand." part of it is feeling wrong, like its all your fault, but you have to remember: 'they made me like this" keeping busy, working and actually having a schedule, like when i was homeless, is the most easy way to forget. but as for treatment? i can only suggest trying to replace all those "trigger moments" with positive experiences i.e, "i cant watch anime anymore becuz i think about my abuser" but maybe if i had a qt3.14 GF to binge watch multiple series with, i'd smooth out the pain.
not really, i'm a 24 year old virgin NEET who's been living a reclusive life in my parents basement for the last 3 years also i have a penis, not a vageen.
Hey, cunt. Your boyfriend is gonna kill himself one day. Enjoy finding his dead fucking body.
Henry Roberts
How about you bash your face against the wall? Do it.
Christopher Cooper
>appreciated for dick size and cooking skills >has a caring girlfriend who snu-snus him to sleep every night I'll have what he's having, please and thank you.
Landon Allen
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. enjoy your fucked up excuse of a bf. I hope you both burn in hell.
Jack James
Lay in bed with him and hug him as tight as possible for hours at a time. Don't baby him, that will only make him a weaker man, but let him feel empowered for a while and let him know he is loved
David Wilson
He'll be dead in a few years. Gross abuse victims like him are suicides waiting to happen.
He's gonna off himself, and you can't stop it. Now leave this board.
Adam Price
At least someone'll find his. I bet your corpse will be rotting for months before someone realizes you've been dead. Not that your death would shake anybody, anyway. Enjoy your shitty life before you end up killing yourself, faggot
Nicholas Clark
Dont listen to this guy, it won't work. He's gonna be like this forever. Dump his ass and run into traffic.
Eli Martin
HAAAAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IT'S MAD what's wrong, cunt? Sad your bf is gonna kill himself? Does it hurt? Does it make you sad? >waaah my bf is dead! t. You in a year or two Get fucked, slut.
Zachary Hill
>gf Pfft, he wishes.
Daniel Gutierrez
I have in the past. It wasn't a very pleasant experience. >Also if you hate the thread so much why are you still here?
Parker Sanders
Do it again, you fucking headcase. Get this shit off my board.
Jackson Howard
Bahahaaha To be honest people like you are the reason I love Jow Forums. Keep being you, you silly ol' fagoose.
Nolan Hill
As long as OP's bf becomes an hero, I'll be happy. Normalfags deserve nothing short of absolute misery.
Caleb Perez
Imagine living your life like this person. You are the biggest faggot on a board full of homosexuals.
Austin Morris
>Normalfags deserve nothing short of absolute misery You know, a lot of our population is composed of would be normalfags who have had traumatic experiences. Myself included.
Joseph Reyes
Dump the basedboy and get urself a real man like me instead ;)
Jackson Williams
lol edgy. you're just a cold, empty douche, learn some empathy and kindness and stop being an incel.
Anthony Ward
Imagine living life knowing your loved one is going to die soon, all because you couldn't help them due to being a useless roastie. OP doesn't have to, though.
All normalfags should burn eternally in the flames of hell.
Parker Gutierrez
Learn how to organize a funeral, because your broken boyfriend is gonna kill himself soon.
Whatever you do, don't pressure him into anything. the trauma of abuse is loss of control. If he thinks that you are threatening or cajoling him into something, then that feeling of loss of control will only get worse.
Alexander Russell
Fuck off, roastie. You type like a woman.
Matthew Taylor
The fucking point is that the traumatic experiences prevent us from being normal.
Julian Watson
>stop being an incel I retract my statement.
Jayden Kelly
user here is wrong Threaten to dump his ass unless he mans up. alternatively hire a man to fuck him in the ass, and threaten to dump him if he refuses. After he's done getting assfucked, make him suck the guy's dick and humiliate him.
Gavin Peterson
People coming here for advice, aware of r9k's demographics, are of two varieties:
Shitposters looking for attention And people who want terrible fucking advice.
It's pretty clear from the animeposting that you're fully aware that this isn't Jow Forums. My name responds to the first.
So I repeat myself in giving terrible advice, Tie him up and rape him until the trauma you inflict invades his mind more than the person who made him used goods.
Isaiah Fisher
He likes that though
Nathan Thompson
This article is super helpful! Thank you!
Luis Ramirez
Empathy and kindness makes you a cuck, Chads don't have that and they get laid no problem
Jaxon Turner
You won't stop his suicide.
Dominic Young
Life is meaningless anyway. If he wants to kill himself we'll just overdose on heroin together.
Eli Moore
Very good for trauma, solid advice user.
Oliver Wright
Jesus Christ. How disgusting. Pathetic, too.
Jordan Garcia
Oh, wah wah. We're all on Jow Forums, how not pathetic are we?
Julian Gonzalez
You're a pair of drug addicts. You're much lower than the average user.
Hudson Phillips
>what should I do You should get the fuck off my board normalfag.
Kevin Miller
They have sex and have each other, that's more than the memebers of Jow Forums could ever hope for. Not that I want to take that mean roasties side, but we're pretty low on the ladder.
Gabriel Diaz
Best thing I've seen all day. Unironically this
Ryder Fisher
Maybe your boyfriend is crying becuase you're so fucking ugly that you remind him of his dad when his dad was vaselining him in the ass
Fucking Satan trips, absolutely based and confirmed
Charles Johnson
First time posting in this thread.
He needs to go to a therapist. I'm personally 33. I've lived a turbulent and violent life. It's been full of disease, domestic violence, and drug addiction. I'm a war refugee (American citizen), a recovered drug addict, and I've had more near-death experiences than I can event cant.
Anyway, 2 years ago I was diagnosed with PTSD. My life changed that day. I learned about the condition and its symptoms. With time and therapy, I accepted that most of what happening wasn't my fault, I wasn't "supposed to" have died long ago, etc.
Nobody can diagnose him over the Internet. Nor can you. He needs a real doctor. That said, there's an extremely high chance he has PTSD or something similar. The medications needed to treat these conditions are different than simple depression. He's not going to get better until he gets treatment.
Luis Kelly
Patience, love, and understanding. His head doesn't work like yours. He's been hardwired to fear everything. You just need to do your best to love him gently and help him if he calls for it.
James Barnes
Plot twist op is also a faggot
Mason Gonzalez
Whoa I think the trust, power, intimacy and sexuality paragraphs at the beginning apply to the emotional neglect of always being alone. I've never been sexually abused but they apply to me.
Josiah Bailey
>He will sometimes get triggered during sex, but I don't know what by. FUCK that's hot imagine ramming my cock in my BF ass, and them out of nowhere he starts crying and wanting to stop, that would literally make me extra diamonds.
>What helped you if you were in his or my position? Luckily, I am in your position. Don't know if you're still here, OP, but I definitely understand the panicking stuff during sex. What helped me first was, believe it or not, sitting around naked. For some reason it helped me realize that being naked doesn't mean I'm going to get buttfucked by an older cousin. You could try partially clothed. You could try seeing how he reacts to watching porn (I get extremely disoriented and sick)
The one thing you don't want to do is force him to talk about it. It's a lot harder to talk about this stuff than you think, especially when I've had family use it against me. Point is, if he does talk about it, respect how long it must have taken him to build up the nerve to do so.
To put it in perspective, it took me 6 years after I found out (at a later age of 16) to tell my parents, and they ended up using it against me.
fucking terrible. What kind of parents do you have? Leave the fuck out of that house and never come back
Jaxson Jenkins
Having sex and relationships fucked me up more than being a home schooled shut in for 7 years with abusive parents ever did. You really aren't missing much user, just more emptiness. Women are a mistake.
Asher Miller
One's a nurse, stepdad is a teacher who can't get his own head out of his ass. My real dad didn't really care, and my stepmom doesn't know how to say anything about it. At least my Dad and step-mom don't say things like "Watch out, user is mad! It must be because he was raped as a kid"
It's feels just like getting kicked in the balls.
Nathaniel Moore
tip: don't send an abused boy/man to a female therapist
Gavin Davis
Follow this user's advice.
Make him understand that your flesh, and his, is for closeness; love, not sex. Hold him, stroke his hair. Look at his face. Smile. Make sure he understands, or try to help him into understanding, that nakedness and vulnerability doesn't mean sex, it can mean affection and closeness. Fundamentally, his vulnerability makes him think of being raped. This connection is a hard one to break, and it may never be. Your duty is to help assuage his fears about being close with you.
Joshua Reed
Im sory. As I said get a job leave. Let them rot.
Kayden White
Please god just be there for him. Don't hate him for this. I know it's trendy for women to make fun of guys and hate them, I hear about it all the time at work. Just be there for him, please.
Matthew Nguyen
That doesn't sound enjoyable at all . . .
Alexander Williams
We're all gonna make it. It's taken me some time, but I'm slowly putting my plans in motion, by figuring out ways to isolate them more and more. It's one of the smaller things I can appreciate. Is it petty? Yes. Do they deserve it? Probably not.
Elijah Ross
>He doesn't seem to want help Nothing you do is going to help him.
Andrew Perez
Here is my comment If he is a man he'll get over it As simply as that you know its true
Jason Gutierrez
how do i get ketamine
Adrian Hill
This is actually false. Men take far longer to get over things like break-ups. Women are often hysteric but do get over it more quickly.
Samuel Cox
>>His dad beat him and namecalled him and it still affects him to this day. Literally first world problems. Im pretty much deaf on my right ear due to my father smacking my shit up and grew up with a broken rib after my mother beat me up for stealing apples from our neighbors field and I still have good relations with them.
Kayden Thompson
you deserved it though I would have raped and killed any thieving child
Noah Perry
>says Dan (15) from California that grew up in a sheltered upper middle class home and with a computer full of cracked software and pirated movies Thank god that you w*sterners are being replaced. What pathetic people you are.
Isaac Brooks
>therapist
God no you normie. Therapists are bullshit artists. They may as well be teenage sympathizers with the amount of insight they have.
A psychiatrist if anything is what he needs. And im not a degenerate but I wouldnt blame him for taking up drinking.
Christopher Rivera
Fetishizing others suffering is the lowest form of degeneracy.
Leo Miller
Dubs of truth. They have to want it before anything can be done.
