thinking of suicide 24/7 for the last few years

That's not entirely the case user. You should give it a try. If that doesn't work, consider seeing a psychiatrist to get a prescription for antidepressants. They really helped me a lot.

I've been working out for 10 months, it sure helps but it doesn't fix the issue.

What difference do they make for you? I have read that they just numb people but I am already pretty numb right now. It's the numbness that is killing me.

>22
>Have wanted to kill myself since I was 15
>I can't because it would absolutely tear my family apart and ruin my parents' lives
>Every morning I wake up and wish I had died in my sleep

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WHERE DO I GET PURE NITROGEN GAS?

Same here. Im actually turning 29 next week I'm just gonna get it over with and end it I'm not gonna water another year living this shitty life i already walked out of work and got rid of all my shit I'm leaving nothing behind.

why do u want to kill yourself?

You need a special accreditation. This is pure bs. And they mixed oxygen with helium. ''They'' really want us to go in horrible pain.

They make the feelings of despair and emptiness go away. A lot of the physical feelings of depression subside and your thoughts become clearer. Every thought isn't about depression or death anymore and you can actually think about other things. I can notice when I forget to take it. I'm on an SSRI (mainly for OCD) and it took me a few different types of medicine before I found the one that worked for me, but I'm glad I did. I'd sincerely recommend it user, and perhaps therapy if you need to let things out to someone.
Please consider treatment user. There is help.

Please don't user, there are better ways. Please give it another chance. Try what I recommended here, don't hurt yourself.

>already spent 39 pounds on mask
>can't even refund with unopened package
Even in my pursuit of suicide, my list of failures keep piling up.

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Hello Big Pharma

Thanks I will give it a shot. How much time does it take to get into effect? Therapy is a no for me I don't want to spill my beans to a thot.

Trust me I know. Every time there is a painless suicide available they remove it from us.

Nah too late for that. Other than my phone and my gun i have nothing left to live for anyway i threw everything out a few days ago.

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Of course fren, anything to help my brothers. You can start noticing effects after a few days, and then once you get it into your routine it'll really start kicking in after over the course of a few weeks. Also, you can request a male therapist at most places lol. But therapy is up to you. I just want to let other anons know the options because I remember how awful I felt not too long ago and how much actively seeking out help really made me feel better.

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user please reconsider. Have you even tried to seek help? Do you need to talk?

If you have life, you have everything to lose. And if you kill yourself you'll going to regret it deeply. You'll go to the Lower Zones, and will suffer more than you ever imagine.

..Lower Zones? expend please

I wish I have a fucking gun. Used to have my father's but he hid it away, curse him.

Can't regret it if I'm dead. I'll pass on your bedtime story about hell.

What kind of problem drove you to taking anti-depressants in the first place?

Different religions around the world call it Hell. There are more hells than there are grains of sand in the Ganges river. If you don't go there, you'll be reincarnated as something way worse off, like a cockroach, or you'll stay on the earth as a ghost always craving something (love, sex, food, drink or drugs) but you'll never be able to experience pleasure. When you get in a place like that, only the mercy of a deity or a saint can save you.

>when will this nightmare end?
presumably when you decide to kill yourself

Been seeing a therapist since i was 11 cause im manic depressive i dont feel like talking anymore.

What the fuck, you can get a therapy from as young as 11? What could possibly cause you depression at that age?

So the punishment to suicide is be a eternal chad ? not that bad

OCD, and the depression caused by it. I've been taking medications since I was about 15. I'm 22 now. I went off of them for a bit about two years ago, thinking I was better but then I just got worse and fucked a bunch of shit up. I realized I needed to get back on them. I went to a new psychiatrist and he got me a medication that's been working very well. I've been on multiple prescriptions but this one works the best.

Has he ever recommended any medications? How about contacting your parents? They love you and would want to help you. Please don't do it user, don't give up on life.

>OCD
I guess that makes sense. Anti-depressants won't do shit if you have a real problem.

No they do, they ease the physical feelings and help clear your mind. I just thought I didn't need them anymore at one point, but then things got rough and I then started the new and better medication I'm on now.

If you take medication for mental issues, you fell for medijew. None of this shit actually improves the situation you are in. You are hardwired like it. You were born ugly and that's just the way it was set out for you.

I know its not the right time for this, but nice pic. Mind if I take it?

I tried killing myself 2 years ago.

Was planning on going partying with a bunch of friends, but i decided to stay home at the last minute. I had bought lots of beer to drink at the party, I drank them all on my own late at night when my parents had gone to sleep.

Had been depressed and planning/thinking about suicide for idk how long. Hammered, I went and got about 15 sleeping pills from the bathroom cabinet, sat down in the couch and thought about swallowing them. Sat there frozen with the pills ready to swallow for what might have been 10 minuters or an hour. All of a sudden, I drunkenly found the courage to swallow them all in one go. I had been thinking about everything between heaven and earth prior to swallowing, but at the moment I did, there was not a single thought in my head. It was a scary experience.

I Immidietally starter panicing, but soon a weird, soothing and horribly sad calm spread through me as everything would soon end. Just to be sure I'd actually die though, I went ahead and swallowed probably 20 more pills. I then went to bed with a note to my parents next to me, and fell into what I thought would be my final sleep.

To my suprise I woke up 2 hours later, with nothing but a bit of a stomache ache as a result. It turned out those pills were some natural herbal stuff which is impossible to overdose on.

I wish I could say that I've learned something from this and advice you not to anhero, but sadly I can't.

My depression has gotten better since then but I have also considered suicide multiple times since then.

If courage is what you are looking for it's no further away than the bottle, but what I can tell you is that once you are drunk enough and have the ability to kill yourself, it won't be you who take the decision to do so.

You got pretty lucky to come out of that with only a stomach ache. Overdosing is unreliable shit and will most likely make you feel like shit for days without actually killing you.

#include
using namespace std;
int main () {
print("Just be yourself, it will get better\n");
return 0;
}

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lmao did you yake Melatonin?

not worth getting locked up.
have you ever been institutionalised "prepare the sedatives" -get off me bastards zzzzzz unzips pants

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i don't believe in Gehenna. that garbage fire died ages ago. neither reincarnation would be a different person/soul due to identity of the individual.

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I am 25 and going to an hero soon. I used to have your worries too. Mine faded away, yours will too.

EUTHANASIA LEGALISED FUCKING WHEN

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They dont want you to die. They want you to get better even if you cant help some people... all about the money they might have to make it very expensive but that kinda defeats the purpose

I've thought about it lately a lot. I'd never do it, at least while my parents are still alive, but i just wish i could do what i want and not have to wageslave. We need universal basic income. I'm basically on that now (neetbux) but they make you look for jobs 24/7 and do other shit. Just leave me alone :(

How many did you try?
I've had an SSRI, MAOI, stimulants, currently an SNRI and so far nothing has happened except nuke my sex drive or fuck up my sleep
I'm 21, my test is literally 980ng/dL, I never watch porn and yet I almost never get erections any more. I rarely cum with my gf when I am able to get it up

>(neetbux) but they make you look for jobs 24/7
literally what the fuck are you talking about
what country are you in

Never. The people in power need people to rule over. They can't have the sheep dying.

> no balls to do it
Why? What do you think you have to lose?

Make a few changes

Ever hear of a substance called kratom? It's helped me a lot with being more social and helped motivate me to make lifestyle changes that ultimately made my life much better. You can order it online in gel capsules for relatively cheap

when you die thats when it truly ends. it will always be there for you so i encourage you to do it and to disregard all of the normalfaggot subhumans infesting this board saying
>dont do it oog boog im a retard

you are asking r9k for advice just pull the trigger user

so, your parents are actually nice people?
I am jealous.
>24
>life has been pointless since I was 16
>wanna die
>looking for job
>get terrorized by mother meanwhile
>get more suicidal
>can't kill myself
every day of my life. I don't care if my parents suffer from my death but I can't fucking do it.
what I can do is try to get through this painful situation now. I just want to be loved by an actual someone.

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Meds fucked my brain and made me go through the deepest suffering, the worst part is it wasn't even emotional it was a biological meaningless suffering. If you are gonna go through that path please at least take a look on what effects it has on you and leave it if its bad for you. Also if you are gonna go to a psychiatrist be careful on what you say to her because they could lock you up if you talk about killing people or suiciding possibly.

If you think about suiciding 24/7 and you don't wanna stop thinking about it then at least make it enjoyable and try to get some fruit out of it somehow. Maybe learn what makes you feel so bad while you are at it. Or at least be ok with having those thoughts and they will be easier to bear with. That's my advice, also, you have a powerful capacity in your brain and heart (as we all have) so use it. Find the path you wish to follow and enjoy getting wherever you go

Not him, but I truly wish that my parents were evil. As it is, I have no excuse to be the way that I am, and that's hard in its own way. I'm not saying my shit life is comparable to your shit life. I just think that it would be nice to have someone to share the blame with.

Have you considered running away?
From personal experience, being homeless at 14 turned out to be more pleasant and liberating than living with my family.
Suicide was a comfort to me though. When things got tough, I'd tell myself I could end it at any time.

yeah, I get that people have various kinds of problems and that my problems might be lighter than other's, too but I'd definitely feel way better if I knew that my shit life is 100% my own fault. personally, I'd be really motivated to better myself and I would accept the help of my good parents, you know what I mean?
sharing blames with other is a worse feel to me.

if I ran away I wouldn't know what to do.
as a kid or teenager you still have the chance to land in a facility that helps you to build an existence.
but I am 24 years old. I need a home because I don't want to be seen as homeless. yeah, I sound like an asshole but that's just how it needs to be for me. a decent job is what i need to have a home of my own but my situation isn't really making this easy for me.

I know that feel bro. Maybe you should realize you indeed have problems in your life just like everyone else. Also you don't need an excuse to do what you like, even when its wrong just go with it and it will be fine

I didn't know what to do when I ran away either. At first I slept in public bathrooms and would spend the day going to food stores with free samples. Then I locked myself back up in a public bathroom stall and tried to sleep. Eventually, I learned.
I lived in the streets until I was 23. I'm not saying you should do that, cause it's awful, but I don't think any of us know what we're doing. We just learn on the fly. And you're absolutely right not to want to be seen as homeless. It's just pragmatic.
Can you get some form of government monies where you are? I live in the EU where they're pretty generous with that kind of shit, hence why I'm able to have a place to live and internet.

I live in the EU as well.
what you've experienced sounds really terrible.
do you know what my biggest fear is? if I go and demand government funds I might turn into somebody who would stay in this comfortable bubble, you know?
but it probably wouldn't be too bad to get money from the government while having a part time job resulting in having much time at hand.
not sure what I should do...

Government money sounds like the best plan for you right now. Living on your own and being responsible for your own shit can make a real difference.

I guess that's what I should do then.
thanks for the advice. Jow Forums really is the better place to ask for. fuck Jow Forums.

>turn 30
>ugly kissless virgin
>health problems developing despite living a healthy lifestyle (shit genetics)
>make money for no reason
>time is just filled with consuming media like anime and video games
>no purpose in anything and no energy to even leave the house

all signs point to ending it soon, it's true when they say life ends at 30

are you some kind of streamer?
if you say that you have no energy to do anything other than vidya and anime then you won't kill yourself anytime soon.
work out. this will give you energy to do more than just sit. you'll like to do more stuff, maybe even kill yourself because then you'd have the energy to do it.
do you stay fit? only eating non-shit food won't help you. you don't necessarily need a girl.
you'll be fine.

no, self employed software dev
why not? all i have to do is turn my old ass car on in the garage and sit in it.
>work out
been there done that when i was younger, didn't give me shit other than higher calorie requirements, you can't fix an ugly face.
these days i just ride a bike around, but even doing that started giving me chest pains and extreme fatigue that i'm having a doctor check out

man, that sucks.
do you at least like developing software?
if you don't like doing that after a while it sounds like living in hell.
I can't really give you any advice other then that you probably should livethe way you do then. but suicide would probably stop you from upcoming pain.

Ocd is a real problem. This is why i hate faggots who say they are soo ocd just because they like things to be in a certain order or they are obssesed about something like everyone is once in a while. Most people have no fucking clue what real ocd is actually like

I keep thinking that it might for me, but now that I think about it it's an assumption. It honestly might not at all. Recently I've been a huge strain on my mother, and I've been behaving a lot differently from the child she knew and loved. She might even be relieved on some level, but too afraid of being judged (either by herself or others) to admit it.

Once I can admit to myself that I've put myself in a position where I've exhausted the only people who could have cared, the only things stopping me are a very real fear of hell/some kind of disorienting afterlife and the fact that I really should clean up a few (physical) messes before I go because it would be shitty to leave that behind for family. I should throw/give away my possessions to make it easier (and, now that I think about it, to create the illusion that I never existed, so that it's easier to move on from) but that might tip em off.

Sorry for the rambling man I'm just a very self-indulgent person and I'm sick of being sick.

Being a ghost doesnt seem too bad since I already cant feel pleasure or happiness anymore

You never know user, it can help. It's better than hurting yourself and abandoning all hope for a better future.

UBI will come user, once automation starts kicking in, the economy will have to change with the changes in technology. The future is bright, it will be better.

The nightmare will end when:
>You kill yourself
>You get your shit together

At least 4 or 5 over the years. I noticed a drop in my libido too with the SSRI, but I don't have a gf lol. I still fap though. I would recommend talking to your psychiatrist about it. The SSRI really helps me a lot.

29 eh...
almost 27 myself this year, about a year from now next Jan im going to my home country for a year
No job, just living with savings work out and enjoy the peace
Shortly after that ill kill myself, jump off a building since I'm too dumb to circumvent laws and get a gun

I can't bother to keep living just for my family, tired of it

Why user? Don't give up. Seek out help in the form of therapy or medications. There's hope for you

>can't tell which is the correct course of action

look at this normalfaggot not understanding existential dread

When did everything start to go down?
When did you feel like that was everything?
I feel the same way but i'm 20 and I want to know how much I got left to try to do something about it

I want nothing from life. Dreams are broken by realism and limits

I won't find a fantasy esque love or life of adventures. Call me childish, those years were my only happy ones

Feels. Eventually limits become the new normal and everything becomes grey. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have limits, even though in the past it was perfectly clear to me.

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