/r9gay/ - #444

i see no scenario in which i go to heaven willingly. If such a place exists i would willingly leave it because i do not deserve it and the idea of being around "friends and loved ones" is going to be a sad joke when i arrive to nobody and possibly have to suffer the hell that is family that i hated possibly being in heaven.

callin my boyfriend up at 3am like

when i die fuck it i wanna go to hell
cuz i'm a piece of shit it ain't hard to fuckin tell

But what if I need a spring bf now?

My eyes hurt, still no bf so i get lonely sometimes. It gets much worse in winter when i dont talk with anyone.

The song would be good if he didn't act like such a nigger at the end.

Tired, lonely, groggy. Want to sleep but don't want to mess up my schedule.

same here, just doing laundry and some homework while trying not the feel the >tfwnobf

I'm alright, managed to find something decent to waste my time on and actually having fun.

It's only spring if you live in the upside down parts of the world, and I don't talk to upside down people. Sorry user.

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Why do your eyes hurt my eyes get hurt looking at my phone all the time.
Why not talk to people in winter?
I hate days like that. Usually I just mess up my schedule. Stay strong user.
Nobf will always be with us. Unless we get a bf I guess.
Well don't keep me waiting. What's the fun thing?

Shame, we're really good at certain sexual positions you know!

>Why do your eyes hurt my eyes get hurt
looking at my phone all the time.
I look at my pc or phone screen most of the time and either way i sleep too little or too much. My eyes are simply red.
>Why not talk to people in winter?
I dont have anyone to talk to in winter, you could say that everyone i know gets busy.

Just playing Bideo games, not like I have much else to do.

... what kind of sexual positions?

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I feel like it gets harder and harder to do so, but thanks for the encouragement.

Should I cut off my pinkie toe or big toe

Well, we're automatically upside down, so think about it.

Remove your pinkie finger, you've failed us too many times.

>think about it.
Maybe if you took your penis out of my face for a second I could! Darn upside-downers!!

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I know, I think I'll be moving to right side up land someday and I don't know how I'll cope.

Do they make aftershave for your crotch?

>tfw you'll never mating press a cute boy.

give me one good reason not to end it all.

Cute boy robots.

I only trim mine, so I wouldn't know. It would look weird shaved when everything else around it is so hairy. Maybe if I shaved my whole body but that would just be silly. Who even does stuff like that?

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>give me one good reason not to end it all
Because you can still try to get a cute boy to mating press.

Nah, I just trim too. I'm not real hairy or anything but imagine wanting to be a twink so bad that you had to constantly be removing hair. I bet there's guys like that.

I need a serious answer thanks

That WAS a serious answer.
Just give it about 20-35 years, we already have functioning prosthetics.

You should cut off neither.

The big toe is essential to locomotion. Imagine cutting off your thumb. It would cripple your hands. The little finger on the other hand...

They'd probably give up on being hairless 24/7 right? It's so inconvenient taking like 2 hours of manscaping, even if it's only once a week. I'm sure there are guys that do it anyway, but it makes so much more sense just to do it before sex or a date or whatever instead. Either that or get laser hair removal to get rid of it permanently.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=aSBU0RUq624
Deep song for real intellectuals.

Yeah, I'm kinda similar in a way.

I developed a skin tag on my scrotum by cutting myself while trimming. I haven't bothered to get rid of it yet because I'm not sexually active. It's not disgusting or anything, I'd just rather not have it.

HOW DO WE RECONCILE OUR DEATHS?

JESUS CHRIST
JESUS CHRIST, WHY IS LOVE SO LONELY?
WHY IS LOVE SO LONELY?

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Tfw 2m tall skelemode
Tfw will never be a cuteboy

>but it makes so much more sense just to do it before sex or a date or whatever instead
some people have sex and go on dates once a week or more

Ridiculous.
You need to leave.
Right now.

These atoms are liars
They do not realize, and we can't blame them
Art as a means of escape, they don't see the down-side
And that's what takes them
Out on the floor
One stretches out its hands
Into the small of a back
And as they circle the room, as they circle the floor
One just wants it more
Well, they don't want, anymore

tfw no bf

i had my first gay dream last night, it was amazing.
i was wrestling with a cute skinny boy, i got him in a full nelson and started rubbing my boner against his ass, i puled his pants down and he put up a weak resistance , we came together it was incredible.

>ywn have a cute blonde boy to cuddle with while watching Revenge of the Sith or Watchmen
I would off myself but there's a cute blonde freshman at my college that I talked to at a party for twenty seconds about the moon

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you need better taste in movies if you want a bf.

..user...I-I had the same dream....th...that boy was me...

not that other user, but post taste

Revenge of the Sith is kino, what the hell are you on about?

>Implying those movies aren't comfy watches with good cuddling atmospheres
>Implying I don't watch a shit load of movies so my taste doesn't matter since I'll watch anything

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I just wanna slow dance with you

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>tfw no LDR bf who you can lewd with every night in your dreams.

What are some other movies you like?

the last movie i watched that i really enjoyed was whiplash.

Some of the recent capeshit was alright.

>it's another binge drink while listening to DSBM without a bf episode

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I watched Ben-Hur recently and thought it was great. I like those older epics. Also just watched BvS which was better than I expected. But not even close to Raimi Spider-Mans. I usually download movies off MEGA to watch. I have a lot of free time after classes so I throw something on to keep me occupied. I'll really watch anything, especially if I have someone to watch with (and preferably cuddle/rest next to).

But if you like things like LotR, Watchmen, Ben-Hur, and Evangelion we'd get along just fine.

I remember Birdman coming out at the same time, which was pretty good. I avoided watching Whiplash at the time because I wasn't in the mood to watch someone get abused. Maybe I'll watch it sometime.

Have you tried other music

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yeah it just doesnt have the same profound effect

I usually watch sad tragic shit like Eva or Anakin getting his limbs cut off and immolated. Feeling like shit helps me connect with their suffering which is cool I guess. Is it sad that I'm suffering vicariously through fictional characters?

can you teach me how? i can never get people to add me. i think if i got that down i'd be able to do it

You're supposed to make them buy you shit first you idiot.

Hand me over a bf now

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alright, you got me, i'll be your bf, just put the gun down.

Good, gotta get the lube. Your butt needs preparing for the loving.

Oh, iron lung, are you at the house?
Will you be alright, did they throw you out?
I want to know, are they keeping you down?
Are you working now, is it working out?
Now, I suppose you've been under the gun
Is it closing time, do you have to run?
Try this on... you feel perfect now
Did they speak of you until their tongues fell out?

Real human beans.

If you can't jerk off next to your best mates, you aren't really mates. Don't fucking respond to me.

Aon, i think you are right

hell yes my dude
have a nice life is probably my favorite band

Is this something you've done before?

Does anyone else have a dad who is a huge asshole?

>be me
>step-dad hates me since im not his real kid
>constantly verbally abuses me
>tells me how worthless i am
>one day ask if we could have tuna helper for dinner if i bought the stuff and he made it
>he scoffs at me for not knowing how to make tuna helper
>he buys the stuff and makes steaks that night
>next night asks me why i didn't make the tuna helper
>"well you never told me to and you weren't even here until just now i didn't know what you wanted me to do"
>today
>go into the living room a few minutes ago
>ask if he wants me to make it now
>"oh well it's too late now but i appreciate how helpful you are!"
>"what do you mean it's only 9 we've eaten later than this..."
>"im going to bed in like 20 minutes because im dead fucking tired from work i don't have time to wait around for you to make dinner"
>"why did you wait for me to do it and why didn't you tell me to make the dinner? you didn't even say anything about it today"
>"because i shouldn't have to user i wanted you to do it to see if you could actually be helpful and not useless but you seem to be able to put out a level of uselessness that is pretty hard for most people"
>go back to my room before i say something i'll regret

I wish my mom had aborted me. I'm sick of putting up with this but I don't have any other place to go. He thinks he's so fucking high and mighty, I despise him so fucking much. He's a rapist (fucked some girl while she was unconscious) and he is the prime reason my mom is dead (she had pneumonia, went to the hospital but then checked herself out, he drove her home despite her clearly being delirious and sounding like she was breathing water).

Sorry for ranting /r9gay/.

just get a job and move out, i was in a similar situation and it was so much better once i was gone.

you have friends? i didn't know

Destroy all connections to your current residence, set up a new identity and pack your shit, kill him and run.
Or you could get a job and move out. But one is easier than the other lemme tell you.

your mother naturally selected herself bro, what roastie checks herself out of the hospital with fucking pneumonia, when it sounds like she's breathing water???

Yeah mate, ain't nothing as manly as jerking off with one of your dude bros.
I'd mention that Patricide was considered one of the gravest crimes to be committed in the olden days, but i'm not sure if this would be considered that.

I'm starting a new job on Monday that pays slightly well but I'm mainly a shut in, I didn't know how to do my own laundry up until a couple years ago, much less making my own food. I wouldn't know how to move out or anything like that.

Greentext or describe one of the times you did. Because I'm genuinely curious.

Probably my 2nd favourite album ever. Very good.

Do fag anons focus on their physical attributes as to why they can't get laid?
Like saying your ducked because of being short or a big nose?

>your ducked
i know what this means from context, but where did you pick up this phrase?

It's a phone post joke.
Fucked gets turned into ducked. It's a facebook tier joke user.

I finally managed a full clean shave with no grey. Very happy.
My grey came back this morning. I just need to start shaving my face everyday I guess.

but then "can't get laid" wouldn't make sense.
this world is confusing

>still no bf even though i complain in this thread every day.

what else is there to do?

I'm back with my BF. He's so nice and cute. Guess I'll crawl back into these threads again.

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would any of you actually date someone from r9k? Like the type of person who screams reeee normies XDDD unironically? I feel like there are a lot of bitter people here that will just end up hurting each other.

Yeah as long as they aren't the types that blame everything on others.

How about you crawl into a coffin and die you bragging cunt these threads are for lonely single gay robots not normie faggots like you

Tfw no university classmate bf to compare notes with

Tfw university drop out.
Ha ha ha ha.
At least I'm still alive r-right

user, you died three years ago.

>tfw no uni classmate to go over to his house to help him study and he ends up seducing me

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Ahhh so Jow Forums is indeed hell.

Don't most people like that blame their problems on Chad and Stacy or literally anyone else in their lives except themselves? I can see how blaming all your problems on others could be unattractive.