Sell yourself

Billy Bob Joe was just an alias so nobody recognizes me and realizes how much of a desperate fag I am

i dont care about people being fat and i dont care much about dicks being tiny so i wouldnt say IM INTO THEM YES but i dont have much problems with them either? also how tiny

wait no dont answer

a man that knows what he wants hell yeahhh

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be gentle with my supple, virgin body.

also is there an ideal application just in general? what would be likely to get the most attention, implying there were widely viewed and actually followed up on

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Straight male, 6'2, 250lbs, brown hair, blue eyes

Family first, workaholic, traditionalist, loyal, devoted

Like chinese cartoons, vidya, long philosophical talks

into rape and incest play

i will be very gentle while i suplex ya with my gentle fingers
uhh
ideal? i dont know i just wanted anons to talk about themselves in neutral or positive terms sounds fun
i think applications are only good to a point because you hve to meet the person, but to get interest maybe uhhh
list your positive aspects, and what do you like, or your experience? but that sounds like getting a fucking job lmao

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i didn't know this was a GET thread. nice.

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Oh shit look at that

amafuckinazing

A date is essentially the same as a job interview.

I'm this but straight.

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i now get why my dating life sucks lmao

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this hit me like a ton of bricks. Feels really fucking bad man.

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I'm a guy. I'm tall and very skinny. I spend most of my time in bed, and most of the rest on the computer. Leaving the house is dangerous and scary for me. I have blond hair gray eyes. I have 2 dogs, they are my friends. If there was a girl dating me I would have 3 friends. I'm unhygenic and reclusive thlugh, so that won't happen.

For semiamusement I'll do a proper selling of myself.

I am a 24 year old male
My figure is average but I'm working on becoming more Jow Forums. To prove I'm doing well I lost over 30 lbs in the last 3 months so I'm now 170lbs at 5'10.
I do have a job currently, though it is retail wageslave. I do however make enough money to pay rent and have left over to spoil any potential partner since I myself live a rather frugal life by choice. (Outside of the once every few year PC upgrades)
I know how to cook and enjoy most outdoor activities, if it's not something I've done yet I'm more than willing to learn. In fact I have almost an addiction to learning and trying new things and constantly like visiting new restaurants or breweries.
I do enjoy a good drink however I only do so socially or in minimal amounts so as to avoid an addiction or the calorie intake.
My main hobbies are anime and video games but those are just what I can most easily invest my time into due to convenience.
My ideal woman wouldn't weigh more than me and have long hair, though I'm willing to compromise. I'd be fine with any height
Age I'd prefer 21+ no real restrictions on how much older you are.
I wouldn't be ready to settle down for at least 2 years
INTP personality so I'm a bit of an overthinker on most things

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My name is user, I'm 21, and I dropped out of high school in 9th grade. I'm working on finishing it now, since I can still do online school for free for another year. I have brown hair, brown eyes, weigh 273 lbs (pretty fat). I make about $700 a month through my part-time job in a library, which I normally spend on marijuana, computer games, and cat t-shirts.

I don't have many redeeming qualities and you'd probably be better staying away from me. I dont even know why i'm here, my life is trash and I don't deserve anyone.
Sorry senpai

thiiisss is really good, you get a nine out of ten
good job you are hired

>marijuana
pot is evil and bad

the rest is pretty cool anonon dont be hard on yourself for no reason, support yourself OR PERISH LIKE A DOG

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>pot is evil and bad
it's the only thing that makes me not hate myself.
yes, i hated myself before i started smoking so you can't blame that on it.

>_master1200.jpg
don't save the sample image
go back to pixiv and save it again

NEVER
sorry i suck i saved it long ago but now i save good ones

>if without that you are nothing, then you shouldnt have that
said the old man in the mountain
joking that phrase sucks but still, i dont know, everyone i know who tried pot gets stupid and also smells bad i hate hate hate hate it
but if it makes you happy its good i guess its just my sorry taste speaking here sorry

Okay but what do hired people do exactly?
I'd warn anyone who got into a relationship with me I have literally no idea what I'm doing and will 100% do things wrong the first few times.

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>Okay but what do hired people do exactly?
it depends for what they are applying of course anonon

>inb4 it turns out the ad was for a qt boy ranch where participants are milked endlessly
>inb4 you are told you cxan leave whenever you like
>inb4 nobody leaves

where the fuck do i post this ad oh my god please

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I am incapable of having a normal relationship
I will be very into you for a few months, then I will begin to be annoyed by everything you do and start finding reasons to be away from you
I will be very open and accepting of your sexual past, and will make you very comfortable exploring your fantasies with me, then gently guide you into humiliating and degrading sex that will ultimately make me realize that I don't respect you or want you anymore
I will never hit you or yell at you, but my complete indifference will make you wish I cared enough to
When you attempt to fix our relationship by trying to take it to the next level I will ghost you

Ok, I'll sell myself as a bf (straight).
5'11, work as a pizza delivery guy while taking a break from college due to not knowing what the hell I want to give the administrative shills my thousands of dollars in future debt in order to do...
I like anime/manga, vidya, try to explore as much of music that I can, own about 12 swords that aren't crap because they're great exercise and stress relief, pining for someone to love me, especially since my e-girlfriend died (verified by other friends of hers), and wanting to move past that...
Anyway that's pretty much it of me.
Sandy blond hair, green/hazel eyes if you just like to buy slaves based off appearance.

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hot anonon

you sound like a keeper lmao
joke aside do you think you could fall for someone who ignores you the same? i think i dont know

SWORDS

well damn, maybe I shouldn't of included that if I was only going to get a one word reply.

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I'm a 20 year old guy. I have an average figure I guess, fair skin. I have curly black hair, brown eyes. I wear glasses. I'm starting to go to the gym to help me not feel so down all the time, but I'm starting to lose motivation to go there even. I'm around 190lbs, 6'3. I think I look okay, I've had girls approach me before, but I always end up sperging out.

If I have to talk about hobbies, I guess there's the generic vidya/movie/tv, but I'm also really into fish/animals in general. I'm not gonna have my future house be an actual zoo, but I really want to have a few huge fish tanks in the future and maybe breed fish. I also really want to get a dog once I get my own place.

Probably should mention I'm a kv. I've never been in an actual relationship before. I've had online relationships but those never really panned out. I don't think I could get into another one of those unless we have a set schedule for meeting. LDR is just too rough.

I'm going to school for Computer Science, I hope to graduate in two years. Right now my drive in life is to make enough money to buy a house and to live a comfy life with my girlfriend or wife.

I'm really loyal and I take relationships seriously. I'm not the kind of guy to wait until marriage for sex, but I'm against hookups at the same time. All I want in a relationship is a girl that loves me. I'm not gonna say I'll date an ogre just because her personality is 10/10, but looks really don't matter to me much as long as you just take care of yourself.

I doubt anything is gonna come from this, but it was really cathartic to write about anyways. If anyone has any questions they wanna ask me pls do.

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>Making the post for replies, not because it's fun
unbased and bluepilled, user.

sorry i unironically like swords a lot i used to have one
well two but more like military ones? they were from my uncle
i never tried fencing tho 2 cool 4 me

the rest of your description is good anonon but swords-senpai have my heart

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I just wanted something original, alright?

nice. I like calvary sabers and polearms.

also fencing is pretty fun, i've just done it a few times though. those weird grips get on my nerves, i like traditional handles better.

>Calvary
i also like sabers stylized like the hill that Jesus was crucified on. Unless you mean CAVALRY sabers, which are even better.

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fuck, you got me.
Titus, get the cross.

30 year old straight skinny white guy reporting in. I have a shitty low wage job I'll be returning to in a month or two after I'm fully recovered, I like vidya games (PC), sporadic shows (including anime) and a bunch of movies. Horror is top tier, giant blankets are top tier, comfy is toppest tier, and I want to get married and have kids with the right gal.

Now just assume I attached a picture of a smug 2d girl because I'm on my laptop and don't have access to my folders on my desktop.

>joke aside do you think you could fall for someone who ignores you the same?

People tend to make assumptions about me, like ascribe personality traits and interests to me, I think because I look a certain way to them. The girls who have been into me, while admittedly few, have been aggressively into me. Like they did all the work to make the relationship happen, and I just went with it because I like having sex. But after a while I find myself just bored and annoyed by them, and they realize that maybe I'm not who they thought I was, but the whole train wreck just sort of cruises along because it's become habitual and nobody likes to admit defeat. And they come to me with ultimatums, but I don't have the emotional investment to buckle to that attempt at pressure, and the relationships just wither away until one day I see them with a new boyfriend and I don't give two shits about it.

I'm a 5'3" male subhuman midget who looks like a child. I'm autistic and can't function in society
I can't have a significant interaction with anyone
I don't work nor desire to, I have no defined reason to life nor guts to kms, I have no purpose in life and I have no motivation to do anything
I have no friends, if I do I ditch them for isolation
I have no relevant hobbies nor relevant personality

fag nigger shit

I'm pretty good at card games.

Im a handsome, fit straight male whos kind of a cunt to people. Looking for thin white girl who wants to be treated worse than a stray dog

I'll try to woo you with pictures of my parents' cats and stroking your ego because the most beautiful woman in the world is the one that actually pays attention to me. Eventually you'll get bored/creeped out by me and start to avoid me. By that point I will feel betrayed and completely disappear from your life.

Lol all of you thirst fags looking for a gf, kiddos get a life xD

>kiddos
>xD

EASY
I'M A CHUUNI, THE GREATEST CHUUNI
and well I dont like dating i know nothing
YET IM A COOL GUY
I LIKE MY MUSIC AND THROWING CARDS AT OBJECTS, FLIPPING COINS
now let me tell you about yhe alien scum that's controlling the earth
Dont trust the reptilians and never trust the pleiadians
Oh and the drakengard soundtravk is the pinnacle of art, same goes for nier's

>HOW TO BE MY GF
well you have to be a cool gal, just like me
you have to be open to try my favorite food
Hmm you have to like my music yeah
You have to well enjoy nature, except when im angry you know, but im not that moody
Hmmmm well I have to talk about me huh?
I like sodas, but not the ones made by the evil corporations full of shit thats going to make you weaker
Water is cool but careful with fluoride
I like drawing but i cant draw so i gave up
I like repetition maybe
>oh and i like if a girl is older than men, but i dont have mommy issues, not a lot at least

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comfy profile ill imagine the smugness too

welllll but you write properly and you are your harshest judge lmao
...
dont be so harsh
though there is
happiness
in pain

yeah but can you defeat me
you can

ooooh mr grey

did this happen to you a lot anonon

Than me
Im kind of a ditz but also kind of smart
Not lazy just depressed
But thats not going to help me get a date, soooo
Well
I enjoy philosophy kids, yep I do
>ted was in the right
I would like to learn about geometry and chemistry, that sounds great
Also, I like talking about people or just taking walks but i hate cities or at least car and smoke so I imagine walks but I have trouble visualizing or maybe I dont so yeah
I like animals, insects, octopuses, crows and dolphins, but not dogs, those are very dirty but i dont have anything against them, maybe cats but ive never had one, i wanted one as a kid but my mother wanted a dog, and then another one and another one
She said cats were dirty yet she had 4 dogs so whatever
Or maybe im not that cool, i might feel like shit sometime
Maybe bipolar i dont know
You know whats fun? Wearing hoodies at the movies, makes you look less human
I like humans but i also dont
But im very empathetic and depending on who you ask, pathetic (but im working on it :D )

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NO I AM THE GREATESTESTEST CHUUNI
you get like a ten out of ten user
unless you are 2 into conspiracy but well yes

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dont you hate on humans, human

Tell me yoyr 3 fave songs and movies and a fun rthing about yo life

Ignore all the typos please I'm phoneposting and I should be working on a paper
Fuck
Why am I even posting? Dates? Sexuality? It's all useless.
No such thing as love.
I've told myself again and again, that I should remove myself from it, yet I'm here.
What a disgusting habit and then what a revolting site, but it's all I do, or did I should drop that.
Yeah yeah, not in the mood for this sorry
>10/10
What a weird scale but people just know my chuuni side
Fuck it

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Dunno if any fembots would be interested in a male who has no hope, is average looking in weight and height, who is a social recluse with no real life friends. But yeah I'll sell myself as a bargin bin bf.

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Hey, its your friendly neighborhood mulatto. Im really just taking life slow right now and I pretty much just chill everyday. Im not a stoner but thats kind of the vibe I might give off. I have ambitions but I wont go into that right now. I look forward to video game releases and that new Predator movie coming out Friday. Im not looking for a bf or gf right now but I wouldnt mind having a long distance relationship. Im online a lot so might as well get something out of it.
If youre interested maybe we can get to know each other. Im perfectly fine with being friends too. Discord is
Lost # 9600 no spaces
Im 20 and pic related is me

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>Why am I even posting? Dates? Sexuality? It's all useless.
because we
as humans want to
be cherished, above all things
and above that, to cherish
holding our heart and their own heart with both hands, brazen and nude
to the glorious cruel sun
bathed in blood, feeling pleasure
feeling joy

also because its fun let it go anonon
my scale is perfect mind you

oi user u will get bannd or am i being memed

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I'd rather stop feeling this humanity and rise above such things.
I care little for relationships

oh there is no way you can do that anonon
for even the human who becomes a god its a human
well but you said up there you dont wanna talk about that so
IGNORE THAT

Hello! I'm 20 years old right now, and I'd like to think that I'm pretty all right.
My special talents include radio broadcasting (I have a show through my college), writing (I can write a better paper in a night than other people can in a week), and cooking (I'm just really good at it, nothing more there). I also enjoy exploring caves, though I don't have the equipment necessary to be a real pro at that, but it's something else interesting about me.
I have a moderate level of skill with Japanese, and I plan on living there for three to five years following graduation. If possible, I'd like to marry someone in America rather than in Japan, because while I appreciate the culture from a distance I don't want to impose myself there like people often do.
I have never been in a relationship, mainly because I see romantic relationships as basically a trial ground for marriage and I've never been sure enough that I might marry someone that I've wanted to try a relationship. Likewise, I have no intentions of sex outside of marriage, and even inside marriage I'd only ever really want to do it in order to have children. I do want to have biological children, though.
I'm currently studying a liberal arts meme degree in English and History with the hope that my minor in Japanese is going to get me skilled enough to actually get a job working with translation or the Embassy, or something like that.

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Why did you say that?
>do you remember me fate?
I'm that user, the one who likes drakengard, and the one with a mission and goal

Whoa I'm more than willing to talk, nice fateanon nice.
Now the only problem would be time and privacy but still

I dont care about being banned

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>Did his happen to you a lot user?

Once I wish I could forget

I'm a dirty chink lanklet doing a law degree who will betabux for you. I enjoy normie shit so I'm not really into weeb or vidya but I'm cool with it. Again, I'm basically normal except I have rape and ephebophilic tendencies.

I'm 21 and a software developer for my dad I don't make a lot of money and don't have many hobbies outside of electronic music. I want to travel across the country in a toyota prius converted in a sleepingmobile (usa) so there's taht. Take it or leave it girls.

yep yep yep i do recognize you anonon
i mean the steins guy first and then draken
i imaigne you as the steins guy thats the power of pics?

anyways
i said that because even the goal of wanting to transcend humanity and shit is just a human goal
you cannot stop being human, not without losing your ambition and self, which makes most goals pointless
thats what i believe but i like humans a lot so idfkfd ir3ovjogj53t AHYYHDYH whatever

oi one time isnt that bad, trry again and again and again and again and again and die happy

what is betabux i dont know that word

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Hey I'm user and I'm 18. I'm looking for a guy or girl to be in a relationship with. I'm leaving my job on Saturday to go into the navy in october. I'm really nervous, also anxious to leave for boot camp. I don't have any friends and i spend most of my time drinking. I play bloons tower defense and watch super mario 64 videos on YouTube. I haven't played my computer in a while and am deciding to start playing warcraft again. I am very loyal (clingy) and will give you affection forever if we connect well. I'm really into music and i connect well with people usually with similar taste. I want to marry someone so they'll be with me when i get further into the navy. I'm east coast US btw. I will like watching movies or tv shows with you. I'm also a virgin haha. Pls respond

27 6' 170lbs white athletic build brown hair blue eyes
I like videogames, shows, movies. Little bit of social anxiety. Kind of don't care about conversation with people I'm not interested in so I can seem like an asshole. Only had sex with 3 girls and never had a relationship last longer than 6 months. Apparently I'm well endowed. Takes me awhile to open up. 144 IQ. I just sit in my room everyday now and avoid reality. Favorite thing is just watching a show with someone while cuddling and running my fingers along their arm or scratching their head/back. Really value loyalty and honesty.

I actually look like a dollar store of okabe, not really besides some things here and there, same personality and height though
And yeah it makes sense
I like humanity make no mistake, I just dont like my flawed nature and my lack of freedom
Thats the reason of my goal, I believe it to be possible and I think you also told me that, but I have to do it
First I need to stop being depressed though
youtube.com/watch?v=voSzqri6tkc
Yeah the self is important
It has to be made a new, it would still be me but you know
You probably get it
Yeah a human goal because of the concept of freedom
Again, i like people i like life

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>dollar store version
>anew
Wew lad kind of tired but i must remain awake

I want a gf evaded ban origigig

lb#2654