Hey guys how was your day? Are you holding up well? I just woke up, sorry for a late thread

9 hours, and I practice an hour on any one day, so that's 9 different days I've practiced on. At some point I plan to record myself recording and upload recorder covers of various songs to youtube. I think my discipline is starting to improve, might be able to add an hour of 3D modelling practice per day soon. You should really try to get out of bed and do some light cardio for at least 15-30 minutes a day, cardio is very important for brain health. Why don't you shit away from home? That's an odd quirk.

After work I went to a girl's place once her boyfriend left so that we could cuddle and nap together for 3 hours. Came home and masturbated furiously.

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>get a very sexual e-gf sub who promises bj's and to take her whenever I want when we're together
>a little time goes by
>she thinks tying me up and doming me a little would be fun

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Embrace the switch life and get the best of all worlds

Sounds nice. Ireland seems like a cool place. Glad you liked the trip even though you wanted to be home for a lot of it. Walking around and seeing stuff is a lot of fun, what do you need to see a doctor for though? Hope the supper was nice. That painting is pretty cool, where I went to a gallery I really liked it. Hope you did too. Paintings are really fun to look at, there's so much to learn about just one. Anways, hope your trip is going great and you'll have a lot to talk about when you get home.
Hot. Just stop jerking off, you have the willpower to do it user. Try really hard not to, you can't half ass it.
Oh I didn't know that's how interviews worked, sorry for the dumb question. Sorry you aren't holding up too good, please start to feel better. It's not fair for you to be sad.
That's a lot of time, good job. Puts into perspective the thousands so many of us put in video games. Uploading covers sounds cool, I think that would be super neat! 3d Modelling seems hard, good luck with it. If you can learn an instrument so fast you can do that too I'm sure.
I don't like exercising very much, I'll be fine. I don't know why I dislike it so much but I do.
Sounds really nice. She might not like that you fapped to that though. Glad you had such a good time, very happy day for sure.

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You're telling the Pope about the Bible my friend

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I have tried for like a year now
my brain is fucked from porn and my testosterone is too high
I have made it like a week before but then my desire for sex turns into really fucked thoughts and nihilism

fuck that shit I just want to rail girls in the ass all day every day

I don't recognize the girl or anime, but I recognize the art.

You probably need to install gentoo.

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Me too friend, me too. She doesn't want anal. Life is a compromise.

I'm already familiar with the basics of 3D modelling, it was an obsession for a week or two then it slowly tapered off, but I made a lot of progress while it lasted. This is what I was working on before I quit. You think you'll be fine, but you can't feel your brain rotting from insufficient blood flow.
You two have enlightened taste.

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Okay. If you can't stop fapping why not stop watching porn? Might make you feel better.
Me neither lol. I just post things i find nice. I'm not an anime pro, I watch one ever month or so probably. What does gentoo do? I'm on Windows at home because it seems like a lot of work to switch.
>"doesn't want"
>tells you she's into beong degraded and forced submission
Isn't that like open season?
That looks really nice. Glad you have cool hobbies like that.
>You think you'll be fine, but you can't feel your brain rotting from insufficient blood flow.
I'm not gonna get brain damage from laying down, don't worry. Getting out of bed is a lot of work, cardio is out of the question.

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Feel like I am going to tear my Achilles or something, I mean I'm used to being fairly active mostly because I get irritable as heck when I'm not and so constantly exert stress on that area. These days more so given my over-active imagination. The trip was fun I suppose though it really felt like work at the end of the day. Like you see places on the internet such as the Causeway, Cliffs of Moher, Newgrange etc. and think "hmm, that looks interesting" then you go there and yeah its a pretty view but it doesn't make you feel anything. Then when you're surrounded by plastic paddies the whole time I suppose its hard to immerse yourself. Honestly though aside from driving around the west coast I looked forward more to the food which wasn't any different from home. Again, not to brag, though going homeless through Ukraine seems to have broken me. Since I haven't been able to feel strong emotions again, I mean most of that trip was some dream-like transient state I suppose due to how automated I felt but everything seems so grey in life. There are so many details and intricacies etched into every corner of each individual concept and work yet because of that, everything feels bland and unwavering. I only go on trips because the flights are cheap and I get jealous of watching people going everywhere but I don't lie to myself and know how much I dislike it. Don't know what to do with life really, I mean this year is supposed to be some sort of quantum leap for me and really I feel like I've achieved nothing other than recognising how inconsequential my life is. What can be considered "good" seems to cause hardship for myself and others. Its weird also seeing those I've grown up with slip into regular life with no issue, why does everyone seem to drink, smoke and/ or take drugs? Why do people have tons of friends anyway? They'll only desert when the convenience is past its due date. I'm trying obtain the standard yet in doing so feel more alien than ever.

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>being degraded and forced submission
BDSM has a lot of aspects. Most women like being the focus of a man's attention, especially sexually and uncontrollably so. It's not about being degraded or being forced into submission. She has told me to hate fuck her on occasion, but she's still consenting because we love each other. She just wants us to be a little out of control. Some of it has to do with letting go of restraint regarding emotions and acts, but only with a safe person.

Typical day of shoplifting and social isolation, nothing new

I get how you feel about trips, I'd rather stay home every time. I don't get envious either, just not a big interest. Why are you trying to be normal? It clearly isn't making you happy. Just be whoever you want to, and keep trying new things until sonething works. Bekng more normal isn't bekng more happy. Sorry things aren't exciting to you, life can feel pretty mundane if you aren't interested in things. I hope you can get some passion back in your life man, being in a different place won't make you a different person full of vigor all of a sudden.
I guess I don't understand.
Shoplifting is illegal, aren't you worried about getting caught? Many here are isolated, sorry man. It really sucks if you feel terrible and alone. Hope it isn't too bad for you.

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I'm not necessarily trying to be "normal", though more fit an idealized image really (you know, being of great fitness, intellect, having a useful job, family etc.) yet doing so in the modern context seems ironically to require heavily distancing oneself from actual pleasure. Not that I mind, I've had it easy really, I don't deserve happiness. Don't bother talking with people aside from two friends unless its to shoot the shit really but I've lost my ability to make jokes which was the only thing I was good at, I can't be funny any-more and seeing people smile even if it was just out of politeness was the only thing that made me feel warm. Don't really have any reason to do anything other than what I manufactured out of fear that I'd let myself go and succumb to depression. Never really had a goal in life though made one up for myself for the hope that I might feel something. I've been trying as many things as I can; I've been studying the basics of about every language on Earth, reading into tons of books for the sake of some petty "challenge", watched tons of old films as well as newer titles, branched out into exploring the music of almost every country even if it be at surface level, try to make time studying every subject when I can, tried coding, tried playing guitar, tried driving and going out more (I mean I enjoy driving, but there's nowhere I want to drive to), tried studying perspective and anatomy, nothing seems to do anything. I'm going into more detail and I'm going to give it everything I've got this year but I know those are just big words in an attempt to toy with my brain and lock my body into a need of satisfying a false sense of pride. The only thing I'm looking forward to is buying a bottle of Barr Red Kola because I want to know what it tastes like but I don't think they manufacture them anymore. That picture felt really warm by the way, thank-you for posting it.

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Don't be like that user. You deserve happuness as much as anyone else. Of cpurse the things people think are high aspurations aren't easy or super enjoyable, if theu were theu wouldn't be valuable. You're suffering fron serious anhedonia. Lots of people do, but you have to find a way to break out of it. It's not easy but I have faith you can do it.

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Thanks, I'll do my best. Sorry for the generic text. I've got to go to sleep, was worth waiting for your replies though. Hope your day/ night goes well.

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i've hit a writing block and it's making me so mad.
i'm at a loss for what to do in the second chapter. the main character has like one friend, and the easiest answer would be to push them together again and make them hang out and have cute yuri dates before she cucks her girlfriend for a supervillain but i think i have a problem with being too dialogue heavy. dialogue is easier to write. i'm just so frustrated.

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Good night user. Your posts weren't generic. I just didn't have enough to say to respond point by point. If I knew the solution I would share it. Really hope you start feeling better, have restful dreams.
>the main character has like one friend, and the easiest answer would be to push them together again and make them hang out and have cute yuri dates before she cucks her girlfriend for a supervillain
0_0
Naturally.
Writer's block is hard, sorry user. I can never get more than a page into wrotongnsonething before doubting the premise and my skills so I only write poems. I've always been terrible with dialogue, I don't really know what people say IRL. I hope you can figure out something that makes sense and you really like. You'll figure it out in time.

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It's 7:20 am

My day is just starting

I'm tired

On my train to work

Fuck work

naturally
i will figure it out eventually. probably. somehow without giving anyone specifics.

Hello Eurofriend (or African who knows). I'm with you, fuck work. I hope your day is ok despite it.

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>shipyard
>constant rain
>deck 3 completely flooded, tiny waterfalls flooding the lower decks
>engine room has 2 inches of water on the bottom
>instead of doing something about it the outfitting and hull assembly bosses are arguing about whose the water is
>crawl around in water-rust-dirt sludge and measure pipes

Haha nice

You will, and it will be super awesome! Don't worry, writer's block is temporary. It's gonna be really cool whatever you decode to do.
Sounds like a pain. Cold and dirty water is gross, wading around in it is a nightmare. Good job powering through it user, I hope the bosses get their heads out of their asses and get to fixing it soon. Sorry you have to deal with that crap.

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deleted my thread I didnt see yours sorry user.
I didnt mean to be rude.
bad feelz.
surprised it let me delete it..

I regret typing anything. I shouldn't be jealous about a stupid thread. Sorry.

It'll be okay once work is over

Work is even worse when there's nothing to do

Like right now

Fuck "work"

>bought heroin again last night for the first time in months
>been drinking nightly for months excluding last night and tonight because while I wouldn't mind in the slightest if I overdosed and died, I'm terrified of not going all the way and ending up with severe brain damage or whatever the fuck else
>accidentally admitted to girl in class tonight that I've been having a rough year, she probably could tell I was fucked up on drugs too because it's pretty obvious in my eyes

I'm not doing so great

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I think I'm hitting another depressive episode. Amazing how being aware of this doesn't do shit to soften it.

I keep trying to better myself. Lose weight, get back to school, save money but all it takes is a single bad day and its fucked. I'll get on track but suddenly Ill feel like shit again. "I can afford to get zaxbys, it'll make me feel better. I can afford to skip this class today because I feel like shit." It keeps happening and I fucking hate myself. I've fucked up so many amazing opportunities. Two years ago I was going to a great school, dating a girl I thought was the one. Now I'm back at home, no degree and just menial work.

It feels like this is all that I can handle. I hate it.

Yeah I like honest work when I can do it but the work others expect you to do where you sit around so much of the day is awful. Glad your day will be ok once you get off, hang in there for the time being.
Don't do drugs user, they're bad for you. How are you gonna take the strongest depressants in the world and then be surprised when you're depressed. I really hope you can start feeling better user, you're going to suffer and then die if you follow this road.
>inb4 I want to die
No you don't. You just don't want to live the way you are right now. But things can get better, and they will. If you work hard to dig yourself out of this hole you can lead a happy life. You'll be ok.
Being depressed is like a migraine for the soul. You don't have complete control over it and it hurts, but there are steps you can take to alleviate some of it and it might pass with time and work.
>I keep trying to better myself. Lose weight, get back to school, save money but all it takes is a single bad day and its fucked
That's how everything is. You're trying, which is what matters. Keep coming back to it until you stop having those bad days out of habit. Giving up isn't worth it, you can do it. Keep trying and you will realize your goal.
>I've fucked up so many amazing opportunities
I know how that feels, I have nothing to say really except those aren't the only opportunities you will have. In your current state this might be all you can handle but you can work on yourself until you can deal with a whole lot more. You can be more than you are, and you will if you keep up your efforts.

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Well I get what you mean, I was unaware.
I dont try to make same thread type whilst yours are up if I notice.
made me feel a bit better thanks.
I would do heroin if it was cheap and I could get it without going outside.
I dont blame you man, the world is gay as fuck.
If you dont plan on liivng forever whatst he harm in abusing drugs.
#blackpill

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I gave myself brain damage doing drugs better stop now. I cant feel myself breathe as I fall asleep anymore. It's terrible feels like I'm gonna suffocate so I have to drink just to pass out and the drinking has fucked up.my balance and makes me hallucinate.

I don't know how to help drug addiction but I do hope you find the strength to quit drugs again.

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Gonna see a psychiatrist in a week only hope is he gives me something strong enough to put me down at night.

I am lonely and wish my only internet friend wanted to play or watch stuff with me. I am so lonely and I don't think I have any other future than sitting at home playing vidya.

I'm looking for the letter thread but I guess there's none.

You're a cute sleepy catgirl.

Yeah internet friends can be very fickle, sorry they don't want to spend time with you doing things. Sitting at home playing video games doesn't usually last, so I hope you find a way to be less lonely and more outgoing for your sake. At the very least maybe try to make more active internet friends, It's not hard to meet new people online.

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It's aight, pay could be better but at least I get to do shit. Also kinda lost my aversion to getting wet after getting soaked a couple times, as long as you're indoors and moving you really won't get that cold.

Also thanks but I doubt anything good is going to happen, most bosses are total retards here lol

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I went back home tonight after spending 18 weeks at basic training and AIT for the Army since I graduated this morning

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Glad your job isn't completely insufferable. Still feel sorry that you have to deal with preventable and fixable stuff like that. Jobs seem super bad from my perspective, but good job dealing with it fine.
Congrats on getting home! Hope you get to be there for a while and enjoy it. Good luck in the rest of your army time, please enjoy it as best you can.

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Can't believe these threads still get traction.
OP is a cunt and a hypocrite, typical weeb-trash who pretends to be nice but in dm's is a dick lord.

are you sure you have the right OP?
Are you thinking of gunjy? OP isnt gunjy.
also if I was rude to you its because you where a
>tranny
or
>a faggot I dont like
I am a nice poster.
unless you are talking about me telling that guy to live stream his suicide.
oh no, someone said something that everyone says as an user.
kek

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>watch stuff with me.
Rabbit is shit user, I have someone who I want to watch Lain with and I wont be using rabbit.
I will ask if he is fine with watching an episode and then discussing it a day later or something.
>I don't think I have any other future than sitting at home playing vidya.
get ready for when playing games is no longer fun and only makes you feel worse.

Not everyone say's that though.
It's just ironic how you're all about making everyone happy right but then once they get in contact with you.
You turn and tell them to neck themselves or send boi pussy.

Worst ava poster / 10

Apparently today is my birthday. I feel only regrets.

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I think you've conflated me with someone else because in private I do my best to be nice. I have never linked my contact info to this thread ir made contact with someone via this thread. My online persona is minimal, all I have is a handful of discord friends I check in with ever few days or weeks. Regardless, the topic of the thread isn't me it's you. How are you doing today?
Happy birthday user, as usual my present is your own birthday catgirl. I'm sorry you're sad on your birthday, I hope you can cheer up. It's a special day! It's a day to signify you're more mature and celebrate your life, not a timer for your death. Use the most of your time now if you don't like it slipping away. Birthdays can be helpful to keep that in mind.

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my e-gf left me and its made me sad.

If you leave this shut-in place and look at the world right now, you'll notice how prevalent it is, that each and every thing is a caricature of itself.

Honestly, I would be surprised if OP wouldn't be like you described him. He might be "real" after all, but the odds are against it.

*sips* You know, in my time, people were different. At least, that's how I like to remember it and that's enough for me.

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>or send boi pussy.
you seem like a pleb who read that thread and doesnt know shit.
> once they get in contact with you.
You turn and tell them to neck themselves
did I try to convince you to kill yourself as well?
>things that never happened
I bet you have never talked to me in DM's
im really a nice person I swear uwu

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Did you get your daki yet? How's the sober thing going if you don't mind me asking.

Birthdays are shit and only serve to remind us we wasted another year and nothing matters.

If you leave this shut-in place and look at the world right now, you'll notice how prevalent it is, that each and every thing is a caricature of itself.

Honestly, I would be surprised if OP wouldn't be like you described him. He might be "real" after all, but the odds are against it.

*sips* You know, in my time, people were different. At least, that's how I like to remember it and that's enough for me.

The important point is: All you can do, is lower your expectations. Human connection is a need, but you living alone is the superior and bearable choice in our time.

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Yeah got my daki today its real nice, im sober like 7 days now.
want to start drinking again but also want to save money.
off my meds, and feel better about feeling worse if that makes sense.

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yeah, i guess that's because i've never really celebrated it.

This 100%.
I tell my family not to mention it, it is the worst day of the year.
imagine being a loser and celebrating another year you failed to do anything.

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I'm sorry user, easy come easy go sometimes. Dating nowadays is marriage without kids. If you wait too long to meet in real life and consummate it's probably doomed. I hope you find a better girl who will stand by you. You'll get over this heartbreak, though I get it's really sad right now.

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>I'm sober for 7 days now
Damn congrats on going holding it for that long. Keep on fighting those urges.
>feel better about feeling worse if that makes sense
I think I know what you're trying to say. Like you don't feel like an emotionless zombie anymore without the meds and your letting that emotional pain out normally. I Kinda feel that too when I let myself ugly cry instead of holding it in and letting it manifest in my head for months or years.

I've done mean things in my life and lost my temper before, but my natural disposition is fairly friendly. I am more bubbly in this thread than I usually am but I really don't think I'm mean. If you don't believe me I understand.

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100% regarding meds.
I couldnt even enjoy music and felt detached.
fuck that shit crying is a guilty pleasure of mine

Yeah I was never a fan of meds, especially Abilify.
I enjoy crying too but I can't regular cry, I can only ugly cry which only gets triggered if something really hits me emotionally.

I think I still have the meds in my system because I was crying at least once a day and more before,
but I have only cried a few times since stopping.

Crying feels great,I didnt cry for many years until relatively recently.

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"Work" still isn't over

Still more than 3 hours

Fuck this crap

I'm gonna play the lottery after I get off work

I probably could've graduated this year if I didn't fuck myself by falling into a pit of despair and drinking to keep it away which paradoxically caused even more mental and physical problems.
I'm happy that my odds at success weren't that low but I'm mad that I let everything go to shit.

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get back in your cage wagie.
how do you plan to spend your limited free time before you have to go back to work?
>he fell for the work meme
>I'm mad that I let everything go to shit.
hey fren you can get up and get everything together again.
You have 2 options.

get your shit together
give up and be comfy for a lil bit
what do you pick?

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Sorry user, it will be over soon and then you will be comfy and snuggly. If you can afford a lottery ticket that sounds like a fun idea. Good luck!
>drinking to keep it away
>paradoxically
That happens everytime someone tries to do that.
>I'm happy that my odds at success weren't that low but I'm mad that I let everything go to shit
Aren't*
Had to do some peer editing. You'll be okay user, this is a setback but not a defeat. It's not your fault for falling into despair, but it is your responsibility to work yourself out of it for your own well being. I really hope you can, as soon as possible too. Don't hold a grudge against yourself for making mistakes user, or else you'll suffer from your own payback. You need to move on from it.

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>Crying feels great
You got that right.
Glad to hear you're doing better now than you were a week ago. Don't give into the alcoholjew, gunjy.

It's 5am so I'm gonna get some sleep. Good night everyone.

Got up a few hours ago, nice to see this thread is still around. I've had a good start to today, really done a lot!

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wake up 3 hours ago, spent 2 in bed fapping
currently asking myself if I shouldn't drink myself till I black out to forget
fuck this

I'll have to get my shit together soon, parents won't let me sit around at home doing nothing until next year when I have to retake the semester.
But for now I managed to stay sober for almost two months, I'm trying to rethink my attitude towards life and get the rest of the anxiety out of my system.
>Don't hold a grudge against yourself for making mistakes user, or else you'll suffer from your own payback.
Exactly. Beating yourself up accomplishes nothing and only makes your delusions of being an irredeemable failure even worse. I wish I'd figured that out sooner.

Good morning user. Great job getting stuff done. Glad your day is off to a nice start.
Sorry your day is a little sour so far. Don't drink till you black out because it established the precedent of drinking, and that will hurt you more and more as time goes on. Hope you don't do that, but your day gets a lot better.
Glad you're working towards improving your life user, I think you'll be able to do it woth your good outlook.

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You like lolis?
based
if you can get out of the NEET lifestyle do it.
ist so comfy though man

Wooh boy, I love catgirls. Thanks for existing, user. I appreciate you.

It goes up and down because my internet friend also has problems. I hope they will want to play with me again soon..

Well, I go outside every day, but in the end no one wants to be with me and I always go home to be alone on computer. I can't handle what other people my age are already doing, getting partner and children and that stuff.

I've never used rabbit. We just find a streaming site and press play when one of us do a countdown.

We'll see. I'm not really a NEET though, because I go outside to a place every work day. I am just a sperg. So hopefully vidya won't get boring, because it's not the only thing I do.

>We just find a streaming site and press play when one of us do a countdown.
this is pleb tier.
DL the anime ect and watch it together on yoru own PC.

I just got ghosted by someone that said they would never ghost me
I feel like absolute shit you literally cant trust anyone's word anymore.
Everything is pointless.

>It goes up and down because my internet friend also has problems. I hope they will want to play with me again soon..
Hopefully they will, sorry you have to do without for a while. I'm sure you'll get back to your usual stuff and have a good time.
>Well, I go outside every day, but in the end no one wants to be with me and I always go home to be alone on computer
Yeah, I get that. Sorry you get left out of stuff. I'm just concerned for you is all. I hope you find something to help make things better for you so the computer stops being your only friend. Starting a family seems alien to me too, when people my age were having kids all the time not a century ago. Just hope your circumstances get better.
You're sure they're ghosting and not otherwise disposed? Sorry user. Some people are liars and some people usually don't lie, everyone's different. No need to jump to nihilism because an internet friend dropped you. You'll be ok, it sucks right now but you'll get over them.

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>Everything is pointless.
It is man, we just have to glide through life thinking it is somehow worth it or it will get better.
if it was a female who ghosted you, it is your own fault

I think I will go to bed soon guys. Much love.

Yeah, sleep, faggot. No one cares. Take it to your blog.

Is this a happy thread?

POST SLEEPY GIRLS

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