>tfw taking dance lessons (that's fitness right) >don't say a thing to the girls I dance with, don't know what i would say >most of the class seems to take their time leaving, maybe they chat together after class. I just leave right after and go home
>at work >no friends >coworkers go to bars after work, I'm not invited >annual workplace Christmas party approaching, fancy dress, dinner and musical guest, 2000 people show up >I've always sat by myself at a table with randoms >coworkers from my department book tables together >I never bring a plus one How do I escape from this pain, get social skills, get friends and get a gf?
I say Hi to my co-workers when I see them. And I say hi to the girls I dance wth. They are the only people I see more than once that I can say hi to tbqh
It's just what do I say after. I say 'how are you' occasionally, but that's it Even with asking questions, after one or two I'm out of them tbqh (can't think of questions related to the topic at hand)
>taking dance lessons if you're a sperg why are you doing this? also how do you have the balls? i can feel the spaghetti coming up just thinking about it
Charles Turner
>I have none though fuckinh how? have you not done anything in your life worth casual conversation?
Hudson Lewis
To meet new people and get out of my room I have the balls to try new things. just I'm painfully aware of how awkward I am
I spend most of my time alone. Playing vidya, watching tv/movies/anime, lifting in home gym. people seem to have stories of things they do with their friends too, which I don't have
this, people literally only talk about what other people do
John Robinson
>most of the class seems to take their time leaving, maybe they chat together after class. I just leave right after and go home
You should stay after class and talk to them. That's when some of the best socializing happens, right after a practice where everyone is settling down and the dopamines are still firing off. Over time people will open up more to you and include you in conversations, use your name in a familiar manner and whatnot, but its not instant. Socializing is like weight training your weakest muscle: you start with baby steps and work you way up over time.
>coworkers invite you to go drinking I hate this shit, I already have friends, the last thing I need is to go grab a drink with people from the office and let my powerlevel slip thanks to alcohol. We already work together we don’t need to go fucking drinking after work too.
Dylan Fisher
I just feel awkward, tbqh I don't even know if they chat or not after
I don't need to change my shoes or change clothes either. So am I supposed to stand around and look busy until people start talking
>take dance class >doesn't say a word when dancing with a girl Geeeee nigga what the fuck is wrong with yoy
Andrew Evans
"How are you?" Is basically a rhetorical question in our society. No one actually gives a fuck, its just a basic greeting. People will respond with "fine" or "good" regardless unless you already have a deeper connection with them and they can open up to you.
Change it to something they actually have to think about for a second instead of being able to just use canned responses. Even just saying "Hows your day going so far? Do anything exciting?" usually yields better results.
Most importantly though stop overthinking it. It shows.
Juan Harris
I don't know what to say
>tfw the girls sometimes (rarely) say something to me >I literally just smile and nod because I don't know how to respond >See other guys chatting, laughing with the girls, high fiving the girls after they dance (we rotate partners often) I'm socially retarded
You need to go on an adventure OP. Like a trip alone to some foreign country or some shit, something where you're on your own in new situations and have to rely on yourself.
Benjamin Hall
I kinda feel you but I've managed to make at least acquaintances at work I can shoot the shit with, even if I'll never be actual friends with them. Just greet them, smile. Some of them I'll spend time around so I just talk about anything, work-related things are a good banal subject, I get free newspapers at work so every once in a while I'll talk about what I read. You can ask a bit about what they do and expand upon that, or ask about family, most people are happy to chat a little about those things.
Jonathan Collins
Stop masturbating. You'll figure out what to do when you need to cum. Make mistakes. Get good.
Ryan Jenkins
Ya I agree stop jerking off and maybe get drunk or do some drugs. You sound uptight OP.
Nathaniel Baker
>guy wants friends around him >"bro just go far away, alone, and do shit. that will get you friends back home for sure!" lmao
Jaxon Morales
>office weirdo >a few weeks ago an employee left so they had a happy hour >i showed up for 30 minutes, didnt talk to anyone, and ran away because extreme social anxiety >people make fun of my on monday for it
>theyre having another one tomorrow because an employee is transferring to another office >considering trying again but unironically bringing a small bottle of vodka to work for the freezer to drink a few shots before going
smart or stupid? never had problems drinking around people in college but this does something to me.
Andrew Butler
He will be more confident when he gets back though and now how to talk to people. It's not for nothing they say a journey alone is worth a hundred hours of time
John Ward
Thanks for the advice
I've been to NYC and Chicago alone. Just feel like without friends, all you can do when traveling is see tourist attractions and eat at restaurants. So I find traveling not that adventurous >hear coworker tell story of meeting people and getting invited to parties while traveling >others have stories with their friends, getting lost/drunk stories usually
Stop waiting to get invited or talked to and do the inviting/talking. You need to start initiating things. most things wont just fall into your lap.
James Russell
Have you ever tried phenibut? It helps alot with social anxiety, and doesn't tax the body like alcohol.
Nolan Taylor
people dont give a shit what other people have to say. Were all just waiting for something to add to a conversation so we can hear ourselves talk.
Aaron Martinez
>tfw hardly talk to coworkers outside of making stupid jokes about shit >hot young 22 yo girl started 3-4 weeks ago and i never say anything to her >she and this older guy whos like 29 talk a lot and are laughing >hear their conversations and its just complete drivel >>she sounds like a stereotypical braindead sorority girl, talks about completely inane shit, even has vocal fry to top off the insufferability
i will never ever make it because i cant have conversations like this. even today, having to listen to her "omg i like, had pizza at, like, 2 AM last night, and like, im like so hungry right now, like i want kfc like so bad right nowwww"
Juan Taylor
What do you do at work then? Surely there are opportunities for small talk between tasks and such? Tell them about your dog
Hunter Perry
Haven't for 3 weeks now
don't know if that's true. Most of my conversations end quickly and awkwardly. If the other person doesn't have much to say, they need you to contribute to help continue the conversation
I have team members, but we sit apart. I usually tell them what to do, and help them with their work. but we don't chat casually tbqh. Most of our communication is with Skype too.
I don't know how to bring up casual conversations Should I walk to their desk, message them on Skype, I don't know tbqh
damn that sucks. talk to people more and get over your insecurities I guess.
Colton Miller
Start by complaining about something work related. Like "fuck, this is some seriously tiring computer work. Wish I was at home experimenting with beef glazing" or some shit like that. That way, you're giving them something relatable (you hate work) and opening up for them to say "really? You glaze beef too?". You're bound to have at least one thing in common
