/SIG/ - Self Improvement General

wtf no

2 years ago I hurt my left shoulder bench pressing. I was only a year into lifting and had no idea what I was doing but still had newbie gains and for the first time felt some real confidence. I didn’t go to a PT because I was afraid my parents would be pissed, and thus couldn’t use insurance. This stopped all my gains. The next year I broke my left toe playing soccer and had to stop running. This stopped my cardio. That summer (2017) I did an office internship and suddenly got intense back pain as a result of not doing any exercise to counteract the sedentary nerd lifestyle.

Since then, my life has been a spiral. I have tried 4 different physical therapists, gotten 2 X-rays, seen some bullshit “Muscle Activation” specialist, seen a chiropractor (even though they aren’t real). Nothing has helped. I now have severe shoulder pain and knee pain as complications due to bad posture and sedentary lifestyle.

I am disgusted with where my life has come. I have a great job making $140+ per year with full benefits and I still have suicidal thoughts every day because of how depressed and pathetic I feel as a cripple. More than anything I am disgusted with the healthcare I have been able to find. The doctors contradict each other and honestly have no fucking clue what they’re talking about. I am terrified that I will never recover, and I am stuck with these physical problems that will eventually lead to more serious health problems and a young death. That attitude has hampered with my recovery because I’ve allowed it to interfere with my prescribed rehab exercise schedule.

Can anyone else share how they dug themselves out of a deep injury hole? I need your advice on how to actually make meaningful steps in recovery. I am currently seeing a PT twice a week, as well as an ergonomist/yoga instructor at work to help with flexibility. What is my best play here? I want to get better, but I am so worn down from trying the same shit over and over with no results.

Yesterday, I made a thread asking for help with some of the symptoms of IBS, and one user recommended the keto diet. I tried it out today, and it was the first time this week that I managed to eat a meal without having severe gas for hours afterwards. I'm not sure yet if this is the key, but the improvement in wellbeing so far is so massive that I am really thankful to whoever suggested that, since it's almost impossible to do anything when the symptoms are bad. If this maintains, I think I'll be perfectly set to accomplish my goals for the rest of the year. If it fails, though, I'll still keep trying. That's all.

I have a friend with ulcerative colitis, this has been the key for him not literally shitting himself every day. He also recommends fasting as a way to regulate digestive activity. Good luck user

>wanna try being a couple?

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just heard from my mutual female friend that the girl im interested in isnt into me because im a redhead. one of my only insecurities just materialized in front of me.
fucking hurts man.

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Keep your chin up, man. There are tons of other girls who will appreciate you the way you are.

Hell no. When dating a girl, never mention anything about your current relationship between you two ("dating", "being a couple" etc.) unless there is solid evidence for it like holding hands or having kissed each other.

I'm 24 and never had a gf.

Am I too far gone, lads?

In the same boat, I don't think so. Just don't bring it up. Hopefully you can hold a conversation.

Oh, and I'm also asking out this girl I met at basketball on thursday. Hopefully I don't fuck it up! Have no idea what to do if she accepts though, I'll figure that shit out later

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It's never too late. Good luck user!

I lost my virginity at 22, you can do this anytime. Just before 30 preferably.

a few proven things
>exercise daily
>meditate
>l theanine
there is stuff like phenibut but the three I mentioned are safe long term whereas phenibut isn't

I feel like killing myself. I’m 25 no job living at home. I have a BA from a good school but it’s useless. I’ve wasted my time and money on nothing. Looking for a job but nothing yet. Why is life so fucking miserable? I just want to give up i can’t take it anymore

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Truly shitty, user. While I had sports injuries in high school none of them came even close to what it sounds like you are dealing with. What do you mean by "crippled"? Can you do you light jogging? Ride a bike? Maybe try finding something like mountain biking that gets you active but doesn't completely rek whatever durability you have left. Beyond that, I'd say maybe it's time to stop fucking around with PTs and docs and find your own path to recovery. I know that sounds shitty and this advice probably isn't great but I thought I'd try because I really feel for you man.

We're all gunna make it

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I don't know if any of this will help, but you can try.

>inversion table (a lot of people swear by them)
>foam rolling
>walk a lot
>reduce stress (a bit of a meme)
>banded stretching
>When you're at work, focus on good posture and get up and go for a short walk every 20 minutes or so.
>swimming

Try and get a nice nature hobby that makes you walk.

What labors in your daily life are so painful that you cannot do them?

Do low weight OHP with perfect form and it will fix your shoulder. It's the only way you're going to properly strengthen all the muscles in your shoulder and get them working properly again.

Don't take this advice

I admit "crippled" is a bit of hyperbole. I have a daily 3/10 pain when changing positions/working from a desk, but all day every day. Sometimes it can spike up to a 5/6 after a bad day. I used that word because I cannot do any sort of sport/lifting. Up until 2 months ago I was trying for walking, but my fucked up posture is grinding my patella into dust so that's a fun new issue. I'm hoping that the two new professionals I'm seeing can help. I've been doing my own research too but it's fucking confusing surrounding the hip/sacrum/spine anatomy and how the muscles interact, and what exercises have what movements. I've gotten so much contradictory info that I'm lost. I think the stress might be less of a meme than you think, since its introducing so much trap/neck tension.

ATM i'm doing pretty much exclusively core work and mobility stuff to unfuck my pelvis, reactivate my glutes, and restore normal spinal curvature. I'm like 90% sure my shoulder issues are bicep tendonitis caused by my slouched, guarded posture causing shoulder impingement, so I'm holding off on working on them until the posture improves (since I see them as a secondary symptom, rather than a primary issue)

So far my new hobbies are core work at the gym and just started practicing electric guitar again. I'm considering a yoga class, but i think it might be too aggressive for me to follow along rn? Any yoga experience/advice to share?

Embarrassed that i dont have a job

I meant it because i specifically don't want to develop feelings before i'm certain she'd want to be with me.
I've had a few breakups in the past 2 years, and i have a chip on my shoulder about falling in love.

you need to accept that nobody wants to be blindsided by a request to date. That's what flirting is for: to scope out if the other person is interested. It sounds like you have abandonment/attachment issues to work through before youre ready to invest in a potential relationship

Do you really want to be with a woman who will ignore a man beciuse of hair color? Its as shallow as it gets

>24
>meet first girl in my life who i really like
>shes really into me
>spending weeks spending time together
>everything is perfect, get along perfectly
>2 days ago try to have sex
>couldn't get hard at all
>now she wants to call everything off because she thinks i dont like her
and i thought i was depressed before

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Like i said, we hung out a few times, and i kept flirting at a minimum.
I know, but i personally don't see any way of resolving said issues without being with someone who won't leave me in 3/6 months, who won't keep canceling plans for over a month but pretending nothing's wrong.

My dad lost his virginity at 28 and i lost mine... a month before 22. Don't worry, you'll find someone who'll get along with you

> How is your diet, nutrition, and exercise routine going? Are you cutting, bulking, maintaining? Do you cook your own food, you should be cooking at least 2-3 times per week for maximum /sig/ gains. What recipes have you been cooking lately, or do you want to start cooking?

Diet is shit, I've been broke so really couldn't choose what I eat (live with siblings and parent) but staring my job tomorrow so hopefully once the paycheck hits I'll be cooking again.

Need to find some good recipes and stuff to make as well as wondering if it's worth going veggie for a while.

> What about your 1, 3, and 5 year plans look challenging to you? What parts are you confident about? How can you best accomplish them?

Planning to save money for a sewing machine and start making/deconstructing/reconstructing clothing as I've been wanting to while building my portfolio.

Figure out how to get into education again in the field of my interest and gain skills and experience. Sort business plans too and eventually get a business started at some point that'll grow.

Road to being a designer is going to be a long on.

> How have you helped out your communities lately, both irl and online? If you haven't, how could you start? What do you think is preventing you?

Haven't done anything unfortunately but I'd like to but no opportunities nor do I know how to. Would love to have a nice online community or irl community that I could contribute to and help with.
Felt like shit lately, being low on money sucks, been trying to stay positive but always second guessing and doubting myself. No gf feel lonely all the time, don't really feel my "friends", no one who understands me.

Hate myself and my lack of discpline and motivation even though I know what to do. It's awful, sucks wanting to die/give up an be a blob. But this attidude, energy and mindset is a repellent to potential love interests and potential friends

Repost since nothing has changed

Where do you live? In Odense/CPH/Aarhus?

>Hey, are you working out?

Frederikshavn

This is not advice I usually type because it reads like a shill post but I think it is applicable here.
>bodbot.com
So I say explicitly, don't buy the product, use the free version.

This is an extremely useful tool work working out around injuries, fixing weaknesses and fixing mobility/posture.
My shoulders were fucked in every way, I'm not perfect yet but this site has made dramatic improvements for me.

What I recommend you do is create an account and after doing the basic settings it asks you for, go straight and fill out the full settings for flexibility, posture and preferences.
This will give you a workout plan that you can actually do and fixes you over time. So you can workout every day for those mental gains.

Fucking hell that's like 3 hours away.
Never see you IRL, dananon. We're all gonna make it!

Ok I need help, how do I fucking stop fapping? I used to fap 4+ times per day but now it's much better (0 or 1/day) but I can't get myself to stop.
The longest I've gone without fapping is 10 days but now I can't do more than a week, I always relapse.
The worst part is that I'm not a kissless virgin, I'm seeing girls more than once/week but I still can't stop.
Everytime I do it I feel like shit for the whole day and I can't do anything productive I'm so tired of this holy fuck

For the month of November I've made a calendar and I color each day a different color if I've fapped/fucked/done nothing to see how bad it is but if you have any advises they are welcome

I have a test, wish me luck to get these uni gains

> What motivates you, keeps you dedicated and disciplined, and helps you further your goals and aspirations?
The tought of a better tomorrow for myself
> How is your diet, nutrition, and exercise routine going? Are you cutting, bulking, maintaining? Do you cook your own food, you should be cooking at least 2-3 times per week for maximum /sig/ gains. What recipes have you been cooking lately, or do you want to start cooking?
Diet has been on point even on weekends, cooking has been pretty good, I like prepping any kind of meat and cooking either lentils or beans, my omelettes have been pretty dope too (I use an anti-adherent pan, so as healthy as one can get). Routine-wise, followed a beginner PT full-body program for two months, no visible gains but improved my physical resistence and my weak body A LOT, done with that, following a PPL program 5x a week, second month into it, now I can see some small gains
> What about your 1, 3, and 5 year plans look challenging to you? What parts are you confident about? How can you best accomplish them?
My plan rn is to make a proper long term plan, I just want to imprve my body and find a higher paying job
> How have you helped out your communities lately, both irl and online? If you haven't, how could you start? What do you think is preventing you?
No, no idea how and where to start

Aside from all that, full-hermit mode ever since my breakup with my gf of 3 years a few months ago, I just hang with my close friends every now and then, will try making more gains before start going to clubs and shit

porn is more addictive than whacking it, stop allowing yourself to look at porn when you jack off and you'll cut down on the wanking, this means no pictures or anything, if you decide to wank you just shut your eyes and don't open them till you finish

Sorry for this shit pic but I had this pull up bar lying around for months and now I've actually set it up. Is it ok if it's just slightly tilted and not exactly straight? Or does it make a huge difference?

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Motivation:

Don't have much right now to be honest.

Diet and exercise:

It isn't.

Plans:

Had my main plan fall apart so I don't care about any other I had.

Helping:

Haven't been.

I don't think it matters but i also don't understand why you don't just put it in straight

don't tell him that if you don't have a good reason.

how can I recover faster from workouts? I've been trying to push myself more so that I'm sore, and it feels good but sometimes I'm so sore that it seems better off to rest and get good food and sleep. should I just go back to the gym even if I'm sore, or should I push myself less during workouts?

or is there something that will speed up my recovery?

Been lifting for almost a year now. Fucked my back up last week doing DL doing bitch weight. Tried to change my form up a bit. Took a week off of heavy lifting. Worried I'm plateauing and I'll be dyel forever.
Starting back up today, but I've just lost all my confidence.

Lets just say, lack of proper coordination.

got a new hiking pack and decided to mount my tent to the underneath to free up space, can now take a wool blanket as well as sleeping bag and mat, going to line the floor of my tent with the blanket for maximum comfy winter camping

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It's fine, if you're really worried, you can alternate which side you use.

Naval basic training starts one week after Thanksgiving and I'm sort of anxious but excited I'm escaping my 18.5 month NEET story arc. It's sort of weird that while everyone was doing things like going to school, starting their jobs and some are even getting married, I'm 24.5 and haven't reached a milestone like others other than graduating college (just barely). Brothers, continue looking forward and you'll make it. You're on your own pace and time, but you should strive to be the best you can. Watching your friends accomplish so much while you rot at home will destroy your soul

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There aren't any girls where i live.

I broke up with my ex months ago.

I workout like a madman now. I picked up the guitar again and day by day i am getting better, i can play harder and harder pieces.

I am training for a skippers licence. Most of my friends who rolled in the class dropped out because they are normies who cannot commit to anything. I WILL get the licence, and i WILL go on a week long sailing trip with my bro. And it will be amazing.

I don't even care about finding someone. My days are full. I work , i workout, i play guitar and i sleep 8 hours. I run 5km every morning. Everything is under control. I am finally having fun by myself. I don't even want to play vidya anymore.

Bruh I’ve been going through this too while on prolonged fasts.

To anyone thinking of doing prolonged fasting and dating, don’t fucking do it. Im pretty sure it’s your body’s self-awareness that you’re basically starving and the drive for higher pleasures like sex are out of the picture when your body is trying to avoid organ failure, because only you know that fasting is temporary, your body does not.

I got with this 9/10 bitch and never wanted to fuck. Like I wanted to, but I was always very cold, hungry, and kept asking for blowjobs in lieu of sex. LOL. But I was still focused on my physical progress so I didn’t care. Now it’s over tho, and my fast is over. Thinking about hitting her up again tho cuz your test/sex drive/libido whatever is highly sub-optimal during fasts and I feel like I didn’t ever truly fuck the shit out of her. But finish your fast first don’t break routine for the vagine.

everyone here needs to see this

i honestly think i would neck myself if i got to this point

Good luck user!
Oh damn, that picture. One of my biggest goals in life is to be a good dad. For all intents and purposes grandpa was my dad, because dad rarely ever raised his head from the papers, he always brought his work home. A grandpa can't be a dad (unless he's like in his 40s).
One of my dearest memories is when both the grandparents were out of town, and mom had to go visit her mom in the hospital. Dad was the only one who available to watch over me, i was 6, he took a day off... which blew my mind, and he cooked the best scrambled eggs i've ever had.
I have mixed feelings about him, we've become closer since i turned 16. He always showered me with stuff, but he was rarely there when i needed him (he doesn't feel the same way about it, but he's just oblivious in regards to that)

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pls respond

What companies are always hiring? (anything but fast food & construction)

Good luck

Is there something like a beginner program to help you stop self loathing? That does not involve friends or family.

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Volunteer at a local soup kitchen, donate blood, donate old clothes and clothes you can't wear to a homeless shelter or the red cross. I like the idea of giving out water to joggers. Bake muffins/cookies, little cakes for people you appreciate, who've helped you in the past.
Supermarkets and convenience stores, restaurants, delivery

>figure out why you loathe yourself
>change it
lsd could help with this but only if needed and make sure to test it if you buy it but still lsd could help but is pointless unless you spend a week trying to answer the questions and can't, then consider lsd

Lifting for girls never works for me, im gonna lift for myself from now on. I’m gonna cosplay someone shirtless at the next convention i go to so I can raise my self esteem a little bit.

I have an issue, I only just became aware of it. I strive to get laid or to have girls be into me for the satisfaction. I never got girls growing up. Then as a freshman in college I got fit and pussy would fall into my lap quite literally. I’m average looking but tall too. This really messed with my ego for a while, to the point I thought every girl wanted me and felt nervous around them. That’s not longer the issue, the issue is I’ve been trying to get laid despite not wanting it. It’s like I want the rush, the feeling of value it gives. I would compare it to when I hit my first deadlift max and pulled 4 pl8, then I kept maxing everyweek for the ego fix. My head wasn’t in the right place, and now with girls it isn’t again. I need to refocus on school and work and getting back into lifting (maxing so often isn’t good for you). I’ve started sending job applications, and I’m gonna try to get into my schooling this week if there’s seats left. I just felt like I needed to post it here. I’m also beyond confused what to do because this girl I knew was into me and that I’m into too finally dm’d me but I don’t want ruin what could be a good thing, as well as not lose my new focus so I’m hesitant to even open the dm.

Women still hold too much of my self esteem in their hands too user.
Try getting therapy, and put effort into focusing on yourself.
Don't brush off this girl, but tone it down with other chicks.

I was 23 when I met the girl I'm about to propose to (4.5 years ago). You are fine.

What are you reading, friends? What is still on your bucket list (fiction recommendations are welcome as well)? If you don't read currently, wtf are you doing?! Let me recommend some books I finished.

>Allen Carr - The Easy Way To Stop Smoking
Did it for me. Smoked for five years and smoke-free for six months after reading the book and quitting cold turkey. Recommend reading this while you're still smoking, then quit when you're done with the book.

>Benny Lewis - Fluent In Three Months
How to speak any language fluently in three months "fluent" here means, being able to hold a basic conversation or language level B1/2. Currently reading this one. Some ideas are repeated throughout this book but still very insightful. Lewis himself speaks multiple languages.

>William B. Irvine - A Guide to the Good Life
Book about stoicism. More accessible than for example the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius since they require lots of annotations and background knowledge in order to be fully understood.

>Ron Fry - How To Study
Great if you're currently in high school or college. If you're in university and only seek to squeeze the last bit out of your productivity, don't expectanything new there.

>Paul Verhaeghe - What About Me?
Interseting book on modern society and capitalism from a psychoanalytic standpoint. Lots of history gets analyzed, too.

Books on my bucket list:
>Arnold Schoenberg - Fundamentals of Musical Composition
>Arnold Schoenberg - Theory of Harmony
>Brian Tracy - The Power of Self-Confidence
>Brian Tracy - The Power of Self-Discipline
>David J. Liebermann - Never be Lied to Again
>Debra Fine - The Fine Art of Small Talk
>Edmont MacInaugh - Disguise Techniques
>Gill Hasson - How to Deal with Difficult People
>John C. Maxwell - The Five Levels Of Leadership
>Robert Greene - The 48 Laws of Power

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Closed my online betting account. Feels good. Possibly my first step forward in a good direction in weeks.

Nice! You'll probably be able to save a lot of time, money and heartache with it. How much did you usually send per week/month? Regardless, great first step, I'm proud of you. Now keep going, you got this.

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Good luck, user!

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Nobody gives a shit if you say something stupid, literally dgaf and just enjoy yourself. You'll build into your personality better if you just say what you want to say, within reason of course. Filters are useful mind you, but for the most part say what's on your mind. People will be more relaxed around you if you are open to them.

This is good, get at it user. You are a hero.

Just wait. Girls don't like being rushed into things, from my experience.

If she's that shallow, she has a lot more problems than you do. Who knows though, maybe you can show her it doesn't matter.

It's ever too late man. You got this.

>bucket list
Honestly, i have a regular "to read list" of things i want to read in the next 2-3 years. A bucket list would probably have Dostoyevski, Kafka, Joyce etc on it.
Fluent in 3 months sounds pretty cool.
As for my reading list:
Currently reading Meditations and "Will save the galaxy for food" (Yahtzee)
The rest:
Frankenstein
Do androids dream of electric sheep
A scanner darkly
Dune
Norwegian wood
We (Zamyatin)
Foundation (Asimov)
The sailor who fell from grace with the sea
Neuromancer
Solaris (Lem)
Starship troopers
As you can see it's mostly sci fi.

What prevents you from getting a job? You gotta start somewhere.

If it fails, I'll keep trying. Thanks for that user.

You will never have this kind of certainty unless you find some really clingy soul who won't leave you alone, then you'll have more problems than you can handle because they will most likely try to control you. You'll have to just flirt with the girl and actually develop feelings together to have any sort of chance with her. If you try to keep yourself from developing feelings to remain "safe", you will leave her feeling cold and unwanted, and she will ghost you. Gotta actually show her how you feel in order for her to know how you feel, y'know?

Got my birthday and Christmas coming up, what should I ask for?

This, LSd or other psys can help but you need to research the substances very carefully on Erowid.com, read their effects, what they are, how they work, and trip reports.

But besides the sprinting route, you could try meditation, exercise, nutritious diet and cooking often, doing hobbies and passion projects that mean something to you, hell, try these guides too:

wikihow.com/Stop-Hating-Yourself

I need help with mindset. I'm off Jow Forums gambling my income on the stock market like a degenerate, but I can feel the pull of just putting money back into my brokerage and doing it all again. How I do get off this mindset of gambling and thinking I can easily win? How do I discipline my mind to be able to say no to shitty financial decisions? It's taking a toll on my mental health I think

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Well, guess i'll do it as i usually do. I'll hit her up next week and see if she wants to hang out. (Really busy this week)
Last time we hung out she mentioned how much we have in common, so i guess that's a good sign.

Having a rough week anons, first one I've had in a long time. Prepare for diary post
Legitimate female best friend (I know) came over on Halloween and we watched IT. Afterwards I walked her to her bus but the last one had just left and taxis were hard to get because its Halloween. Let her stay over at mine. We slept together as we have done before, I didn't do anything or even want to (I'm unironically volcel until a LTR or Marriage) so we just chatted shit and woke up spooning as usual. She heads off the next morning and I am immediately hit with a heavy sense of depression and doom, that still hasn't fully left me, I can feel this pit in my stomach. I think I've traced to a realisation that I will never be able to have an experience like that with someone I truly love. I'd like to think that I could quite easily switch to going out with her and she would be delighted, but I would never be able to. We have the exact same sense of humor and she is a very smart girl, but she is a roastie. It's not her fault, its just the way she is. She has cheated on boyfriends in the past and has slept with quite a few of my friends. The girl I am most in tune with is unaccessable to me because of her actions, it's almost like she is two different people in my eyes. The vast majority of women have been fucked hard and dirty, and I can think of nothing more unattractive. I realised would be perfectly happy living in a world where sex didn't exist, sexuality warps so many people. Don't get me wrong I love using sexual energy in conversations and flirting etc but I don't know anymore. Maybe I have a completely warped view of reality and trying to hold onto things such as rejecting casual sex is stupid and something I need to work on overcoming. How can you tell when you need to change your views to become a better person and improve, and when to stick to what you originally believed in anons?
>tl;dr WAAAH my oneitis is a roastie (Not exactly accurate I can see how it looks that way)

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FFFFFUCK getting a good pump is like busting a galaxy nut, how could I forget this feeling

That sucks user, can’t really offer much advice that won’t set the board on fire so I’ll just say that you have your own goals and desires already set, don’t sell em short for someone ever, cause you’re cutting yourself away.
Keep lifting, let em come to you.

Fucking a lot doesn't bother me that much.
But cheating and having sex with close friends of mine. That's a major NO GO.

Read a fucking book and stop being a pathetic faggot.

Yeah, whether a girl has had dirty sex before or not shouldn't be a dealbreaker for you, that's just Jow Forums-tier autism. Dgaf, if you actually have feelings for her, and she might feel similar about you, give it a go man. You said you guys already fucking spoon and fall asleep together, I'd say you were playing ball at this point but I have no idea what your situation is really like. She obviously feels comfortable around you.

>Yeah, whether a girl has had dirty sex before or not shouldn't be a dealbreaker for you
It should.
She doesn't treat fucking seriously and is more likely to fuck other dudes while she's dating you because of this.
>owo yeah it's not like i cheated on you it was only anal!!!

>not wanting to get down and duirty with your gf

If you want her to leave you, go ahead. Vanilla sex is cool but you turn up the kink when things are getting "run of the mill", that's what it's for.