You are on the way to the gym

Dumbells with resistance bands

A bar with chains! Stupid ass cat, get the fuck out da whey

A big fat dick

My no gf feel because i realize more and more that its not a physical issue that i dont have one.

A girlfriend

Attached: 1541555516656.gif (202x360, 2.19M)

makes sense

My body you stupid sphinx, ever heard of calisthenics?

Now let me before I school you on Evangelion too

this is the right answer

Doing lifts with chains, like a chain deadlift.

A girlfriend.

When I come you always fear
yet I only come once a year.
I steal your weights as you sneer,
yet you're timid as a deer.
When it's cold you know I'm near!
So cry and whine you little queer,
but tell me now what I wish to hear:

Who am I?

Attached: 7267B83A-F9F7-4C40-A905-23A705881B06.png (770x775, 304K)

Cutting season?

overhead press :\

A new year's resolutioner

Correct

You pick me up when you are down,
but I only add weight to your frown.
I kill your gains, and I kill your T.
Yet you will never abandon me.

What am I?

Attached: 03FAE75D-BBB1-46B1-A6E9-722AC307EEF0.jpg (174x199, 16K)

Chained barbell bench press

Easiest entrance of my life

The feels

Attached: images.jpg (400x393, 14K)

delete this

My penis.

Alcohol?

The potential energy m*g*h of every object increases as h increases, so everything.

Alcohol

Do you think that Bilbo Baggins thinks teeth are literally horses.

The dose, breh

Dudeweedlmao.

both right

My name rhymes with what I do nit have
I only want the best, like chad.
I work only to earn your gaze
If I catch it you are trapped in a haze
Believe me now that I am real
For you will never lose this feel.

What am I?

Ur mum

Is he going to eat that poor woman?

Gym slut

Going but the first line, a thot? As in, they don't have thoughts because muh npc meme.
Contributing:

You never asked God for these feels
When gains come fast but pussy slow
Mogged by every girl in heels
Genetic prospects rather low
Chanting "grow" with hands held high
Too reach the heights for which you yearn
To me it seems you'll sooner die
Than reach the day you finally learn

What are (you)?

spbp

Manlet

Correct.

The filthy fragrance that you seek
Accompanied by roar or squeak
You beg for it down on your knees
That effervescent rectal breeze

>i realize more and more that its not a physical issue that i dont have one
>not drawing power from this to improve as a human bean
Never going to make it.

BRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP

Bar on your back, Butt to the grass
You used to worry but not when I’m up your ass
A tight squeeze, then let loose
People think I’m a meme but it’s no ruse
Buy me online, buy me in a store
Buy me at a sexshop, but worry no more

What am I?

Squat plug

Jeff? Rhyming with (no) gf?

The essential squat plug

syringe

>get's

learn how apostrophes work, brainlet retard

Correct

Correct, another:

‘Twas the first day of Christmas - a week ago that is
Dyels here, dyels there, how I don’t miss
The gym and it’s follies, its waits and its crowd
Too little spirit and all too loud
Now I am here, naked and sweaty
Getting gains undisturbed, my body is ready
A $1200 setup, hard work and a lot of meat
Me, myself, and I, that is all I need

Where am I?

home gym!

>Who am I?
none of your business

a mysterious challenger appears

Short, stout, angry balding "man"
But really strong! (At 2 inch ROM)
I guess he does the best he can
Despite still living with his mom

Minox beard and baby face
With Bugez's cock lodged in his throat
Oblivious to his own disgrace
While shilling that one book he wrote

Posts walls of text in self defense
Insisting that he can get laid
Autistic and hopelessly dense
Like to sip ice cold lemonade

Attached: 60177789-0D0C-4CA8-8F5B-F101923E00E1.gif (245x194, 808K)

My birthday?

There's only one thing this pic reminds me of
youtube.com/watch?v=GSwATqPUsv0

Rippletits? Or an SS victim

Nope.

Well done! Alright I’ll try one more

Born not too early, not too late
Right in the sweet spot, such is my fate
King of the bar and ruler of my lawn
My sips keep me going till the break of dawn
“How are you ladies”, “enjoy your night”
I say with confidence, spirit, and might
Such is the life of the notorious winner
Girls, beer and grilled food for dinner

What am I??

Manlet destiny?

Alphadestiny

Underrated
BRAAAAPPPPP

*cracks*
*sips*
Back in my day, the riddles were way harder than this.

Boomers(sips definitely gave it away)

deadlift with chains

Correct, they’re funnier to make when they are easy

Right, left, up, now slow
I do as I’m told, go with the flow
No mind mind of my own, play me like a pawn
Or don’t, just kill me and I’ll magically respawn
Watch the cholesterol, watch the T
do consume onions, do like me

Who am I?

Both correct answers

Onions should be S O Y

An NPC?

New Years eeeee

Correct. Final one

I am the elusive robber of gains
You see, you wish, you hate, it pains
I am your goal, the cause of that feel
What you desire, your true Achilles heel
I am the end, your purpose in life
The one you hope will be your future wife
I am here, there and all around
Not with you though, you creep, but with some other guy I found

Who am I?

Newer too far newer too late
I lift when i please night or day
Everybody at my gym knows my name
Tfw _____ ____ master race

We already had home gym as an answer though

GF

my cock

Came to post this

Attached: wNy4nrG_d.jpg (640x398, 13K)

Not quite a riddle but here's my haiku about deadlifts:

Void, ladyboy, wrestle
Seek the belt, the straps dear Scooby
Snap city for the bold

Correct, had one final idea so here goes

Incel, Casanova, virgin and chad
A friendless loser and an all around lad
Never held hands with a girl, yet slept with my share
Witty, dumb, a well furnished room and a humid smelly lair
1/2/3/4
Bench 100lbs for 10 reps and never more
Earn 100k a year yet poor as fuck
Argue with me and you’re shit out of luck
I post, I lurk, I troll, I berate and I praise
I am many, I am one, but my lifts I will raise

Gf?

"Bigger than Ryback in terms of lean mass!"
Breathes heavy when talking like this through his ass
A man for a wife (well, not any longer)
He left her for fear that her jawline was stronger

A sex slave assassin with 1000 kills
But looks like a neet (how does he pay bills?)
Eternally cutting yet still gaining weight
Doomed forever more to this slovenly state

A Walmart physique and pitiful lifts
But funny to watch as his sanity drifts
When at last he descends into the abyss
His inscription will read ">roiding for this"

The count. The weight of not doing One

Weed numbs me for workouts thus perfect drug of choice

Me.

Jow Forums poster

your mother

>yet I only come once a year.
No fap?

Attached: 24A6F383-DE70-437D-B67E-4FB9EE27E5EC.jpg (1280x800, 84K)

What do I have in my pocket?

Attached: rb bilbo design.jpg (328x400, 80K)

Based

A fork

what went wrong with the feet?

Masturbation

Big Lenny, gotta be

Nope. Think of someone far less lovable