What's your morning routine like, Jow Forums?

Depression, self-hate and coffee

You only do calisthenics or you also lift? What are the benefits of doing pushups everyday?

depends on the day
on sundays:
>make breakfast
>blowjob my bf awake and swallow his semen
>eat breakfast together on the bed
>shower together
>sometimes we fuck again in the shower but I hurt my head last time

>piss
>eat
>brush teeth
>wash face
>do hair
>clothes on
>drive to work
o-only 40 more years to go guys

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This doesn't seem fair. You should have him give you a blowjob too.

It's hard to describe my morning routine seeing a picture like that, user. You should have started with a wojak.

>mfw I'll probably never grab my gf's ass while cooking breakfast with her

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>wake up dreaming of exgf
>cry for 5 minutes in bed
>walk to the bathroom talking to myself that i hate her
>shower
>cry for another 15 mnutes under the shower
>dress
>talk to myself while dressing about how i need to cut her out of my life
>don't breakfast because i'm still way too hung up on her

yep

>You should have started with a wojak
you should kill yourself if you think this place needs any more pepes or wojaks.

well it sure as hell doesn't need more stock pictures of happy people

not a fag

>Finger Slips into butt
>"Whoops, sorry bout that dear! Finger slipped right in without any help whats so ever its as if that sphincter of yours has some suction action to it!"
>Slippery crawling sounds
>"Oh my! Its quite moist down here babe! When was the last time you wiped? Oh! Never mind that! I need to start sampling."
>Sniffs
>"Oooooh! Is that fish my dear? I must say that fish you cooked yesterday has seemed to find it way downstream. Oh my, is... that... avocado? Good lord my dear. A high fat diet definitely has left my finger in quite the mess. Do you mind if I get some healthy fats into my diet as well my dear? It does help with my test levels by the way!"

Wake up
Piss in slut mouth
Grab a coffe
Smoke
Take a shit
Slut cleans my ass with her tongue
Go to work

you should think about acquiring a dedicated toilet slut to eat your shit instead of just having the bidet/urinal slut

What does that have to do with getting your dick sucked?

>wake up
>lie in existential dread until afternoon

>wake up somewhere before noon
>drink a pot of coffee in my bed while listening to sad lofi music
>read the news and shitpost
>contemplate the meaning of my existence

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>up at 6am
>get coffee, go for piss
>back to bed for 15 mins, then drink coffee
>shit
>go to gym
>go to work for 9

>he has a "morning routine"

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Unless you do different things each morning... yah

Wakes you up naturally instead of downing caffeine like a pleb

nice

As of late

>Wake up at 4:30
>Piss
>Limber 11 routine
>Breakfast
>Shit
>Go to work

Trying to squeeze in some Wim Hof breathing as well

Yep that's a big oof from me, chief

> wake up
> black coffee
> dump

>wake up at 4:30am to the sound of trees falling (had to change from screams because it upset my neighbors)
>get dressed and brush my teeth
>take some Animal Fury preworkout
>take a shit then drive to the gym
>get back at 6 to shower, drink a protein shake, shit again and head to work

>piss & shit
>brush teeth
>25 push ups
>drink coffee
>25 push ups
>sit in the shower for an hour

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curbstomping a smelly nigger. watch his brain splatter all around the pavement

I fucking felt for you man. Here is an advice that will solve ALL your problems:

start with crossfit

Why is that skinny dude wearing sheer panties?

No you don't. You wake up to masturbate to anime and eat cheetos like every other nazi LARPer.

In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

Work days:
>wake up
>coffee + breakfast
>shitpost
>brush teeth
>go to work

Non-work days:
>wake up
>coffee
>shitpost
>workout
>breakfast
>brush teeth

> Wake up
> PISS
> wash face
> Moisturize
> Make breakfast
> 3 eggs always omlette or scrambled
> Bacon or sausage
> French bread
>Get a light warm up going
>Drive 45mins to work.

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>French bread
Huefag detected

give screaming cat her stupid wet food
wheeze because I'm allergic to her
calisthenics
eat either eggs and meat or cereal with coconut milk
take supplements
read in a book
study another language
check portfolio
do a chore
shitpost
go work 13 hours

getting to be about that time

I should probably get rid of my cat but it's so hard

>morning routine
If that makes me a normie, I'm ok with that, edgy boy.

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I wish I could experience this...

There are people out there who do this every day and take it for granted. To even have the luxury of not even thinking about it every day with her is an impossibility in my mind.

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Nice

>8am wake up to my daddy taking my panties off
>he eats me out for a good 30 minutes
>follow the workout routine my daddy made for me (3 times a week legs and abs, once a week fullbody calisthenics/gymnastics and once a week HIIT sprints)
>shower together
>breakfast together (he makes my breakfast everyday while i workout), high in fats and proteins
>he leaves for work at 10 and i go to uni at 10.30
and after
>send him nudes at 3pm when i get home
>he gets home at 8pm after gym (he says hes stronger in the evening)
>ger super horny at daddy's sweaty muscles and smell
>make love usually in the shower
>dinner together at 9pm
>do cute things with him (movies, drawing, gaming...)
>get horny again around 11pm and make love again and cuddle to sleep

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what the fuck

oh no

t. a virgin's fantasy

When do you go to sleep?

>5am wake up
>5:10 gym
>6am yoga/plank+stretching (alternating every day)
>6:20 shower (starting with mild and finishing with gold)
>6:40 Meditation, focus increase
>6:50 listening to some podcast/music and eating
>7:20 heading for uni

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look user, I've had this for years and the magic wears off after a while. having someone constantly up in your shit starts to grind on you and doesn't seem so lovey dovey when you've got important shit on the next day but your dumb gf tosses and turns and wakes you up in the middle of the night

>6:20 shower (starting with mild and finishing with gold)

kinky

>wake up
>wish didn't wake up
>get up
>workout for 30 minutes
>shower, shave, brush teeth, put on deodorant
>get dressed
>spend day hoping i don't wake up tomorrow

>poverty kitchen

I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine.
In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches.
I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion.
In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub.
Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine.
I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older.
Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

>Gf gets up at 830 to get ready for law school
>Morning wood
>Fuck her
>She gets ready I stay comfy
>She makes me a hot cup of really good pourover coffee as she leaves
>sip and look out into the city
>Sip green tea for day here empty stomach absorption
>Look down on plebs at whole foods connected to my apartment

Good times

Just noticed that they OF COURSE use coconut oil.
Anyway, the sink looks like it's large and deep enough. I hate those tiny ass shallow sinks were you flood the whole kitchen.

Other than that, looks like a kitchen that has everything you need? Personally I'd go for a gas stove, but w/e

Sorry for the long response. I am lonely

why do I do this to myself, watching videos like this one

yes, I want my pillow to smell like my fabric softener, not her

I only eat jalapeno flavored cheetos like a REAL aryan would!

>woke up
>took a shit
>got out of bed

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just like in the op's picture. then i wake up in my shitty student flat and have to cycle up a big hill to study something I've lost interest in but i have to stick with cos its my last year and i need to get something out of it even though i know i won't be using any of it

>wake up and immediately take a shit in bed
Based

>wake up 4:44am
>shower
>shave
>shit
>brush teeth
>eat meal prepared the night before
>uber to work

disgusting and unworthy.

and what's that?

It was too fast, so I dragged the progress bar manually and looked at every still.

In that order eh?

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just did that too
I'm so fucking lonely

chemistry, so few parts of it interest me anymore and a lot of it is developing on previous stuff to find out that the most up to date shit scientists use is still wrong after assuming it was just because of how simple it was before

You gotta change something brother. That mentality will consume you eventually.

>wake up usually at 5am
>stretch / wim hof breathing / meditate (done in any order)
>static stretches 20 second holds if I'm in a hurry, 30 if I'm not (my stretch routine consists of about 8-10 stretches, most of which have two holds each so this generally takes between 15-20 minutes to complete).
>breathing (30 deep breaths followed by 1 exhaled breath hold followed immediately by one fully inhaled breath hold. Holds generally last about 90 seconds. This part costs me about 15-20 minutes total).
>10 minutes of meditation (this tends to be the most neglected step).
>Most days the entire process takes about 30 minutes give or take.
>If it's a gym day, I'll try to hit it in the morning before work, if I don't I'll hit it after work but this isn't ideal until I get my home gym.
>Get ready for work (shower, groom, dress, defecate, etc.)
>(((work))) (variable start time between usually between 6:30 and 7:30)

I don't typically eat in the mornings anymore (IF is now ingrained in me). The stretches or breathing technique on their own wake me up enough to never need coffee. If I'm being good, I'll also do a stretch session before bed as well and it helps a lot with sleeping.

>Wake up
>Make coffee
>shit (shit wont come out without a coffee)
>take shower
>brush teeth
>shave
>post on Jow Forums

>Up at 6:30
>Piss
>Do some push ups
>Cold shower
>Get dressed
>Eat either eggs or oatz
>Go to uni

Do Europeans actually do this?

>gas stove master race
My man

>Trying to squeeze in some Wim Hof breathing as well
My routine swaps around a lot depending on how difficult I'm finding it to get out of bed. While I generally prefer to do stretching first, the beauty of the breathing technique is that the most comfortable position (for me) to do it in is lying down, which means you don't even have to get out of bed to do it. So on those days where I'm feeling lazy I'll start as soon as I wake up without even leaving the warm comfort of my bed. This has the added bonus of waking you up better than a pot of coffee and you'll feel super energized to start your day.

Highly recommended!

>Waking up to jarring or disturbing sounds
What's the logic here? Genuinely curious.
On the one hand, I wouldn't want to get used to unnatural sounds so as to ignore them in a real emergency... on the other hand I can see a shot of adrenaline in the morning being a fantastic way to jump start your day.

>shit wont come out without a coffee
sort your diet out

>no mentions of sunscreen itt
never gonna make it, enjoy your aging skin

at least one does

>thinking i need sunscreen in England
the clouds do that for us mate

Well today...

>wake up naturally at 8am...
>drift in and out of sleep
>shitpost on Jow Forums and watch youtube
>its almost noon and still in bed

I think this is depression

move to /b/ please

just be yourself

For me its
>wake up 6am
>write down dreams
>push ups/pull ups
>down a bottle of snake juice I always keep beside my bed to kickstart hydration
>go for a quick run to wake me up
>cold shower
>brush teeth, sunscreen face
>get dressed
>make lunch
>have a cup of coffee or green tea depending how im feeling
>bus to work for 1h30 while listening to audiobooks

Although on the weekends its just
>wake up
>shitpost in bed for 3hrs

>Sorry for the long response. I am lonely
Is that why I write such long-winded posts?
...welp time to rethink my life

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>>write down dreams
I gotta get back in the habbit of this. Although, I find it easier to voice record them and write them down later. You lose less details that way.

>get up at 3 a.m.
>exercise
>shower as cold as possible
>make black tea
>watch youtube videos and/or read the news while drinking my tea
>wife gets up at 4 a.m.
>spend some time/eat breakfast together
>5:45 a.m. leaving for work

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>tfw it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

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Based

>wake up at 8am
>meditate an hour
>get dressed
>eat
>go to uni

>wake up
>browse on phone
>drink coffee while taking a shit for like an hour
>shower last minute
>already late by the time i go out
>drive like a maniac
>usually arrive on time unless some retarded bitch causes a multiple car crash by browsing her phone(happened to me 4 times in a fucking year)

> Pray and give thanks
> Make bed
> Get dressed (I shower at work or the gym depending on the day)
> Light breakfast and coffee
> Write down goals for the day
> Brush teeth

Keep intending to put in a ten minute meditation session but I've been inconsistent with that, also should put in a stretching routine.