Jow Forums i've just discovered my gf has a 'farting' fetish

Jow Forums i've just discovered my gf has a 'farting' fetish

i find it a bit gross but she's been begging me for ages -- what are the best exercises and food to increase the rate/power of gaseous explusions

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Lots of fiber + raw eggs
One literally rots in your stomach and one is healthy as fuck it just happens to stink too and the gut flora argue like fuck when they interact.

>being able to fart in your girlfriends face
living the dream

IPA beer + Brussels sprouts + garlic

Beans, cabbage, cauliflower will be gold

this is based, i like this thread

Who is to fart onto whom?
This is important.

awesome ideas guys, ill try them all

any exercises i can do to make my farts come out super powerful, like rectal squats etc

>come out super powerful
I cant wait for the greentext of the user who pushed so hard he unleashed an explosion of shit all over his girlfriends face

Also asking this.
Also, does she do rimjobs? I've done them a few times, but never had it done to me. Does it feel good?

I need this pic to be my life

she wants me to fart onto her

she's offered but i've refused so far bc it seems gross. i'm just learning how to fart to make her happy.

Yes, rectal squats will do nicely, but make sure to include reverse stomach vacuums.
I personally recommend a choice selection of asanas to work your pranayama in, it makes my farts much hotter and being able to hold the asanas perfectly to facilitate easier passage of gasses, giving my farts more reach.

I am currently working with an associate to develop a system tentatively titled “reverse kundalini” wherein I channel the shakti back into muladhara, giving my farts not merely physical, but also spiritual, charge.
Keep your eyes open, I’ll probably post the first draft on the irc channel. You know which one.

You've copped a goodie there mate
>tfw it is she who imagines the smell

fuck i am actually extremely jealous of you

>tfw never have a gf who is into farting

please just fucking end me now

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why the fuck are you still buying dvds?

>pic related
they're weak

t. role playing incel. fuck off you pathetic moron.

How did you discover it? Did you fart one time and she started getting horny from it?

You’re a fucking degenerate and so is she.

nah we were just talking about things that turned us on

i just said all the vanilla normal shit like tying each other up and stuff and then she mentioned the fart thing

i guess she didnt seem to protest to much whenever i did around her in the past either

>jealous you dont have your very own braphog gf

I know man I am jealous as fuck too. The best we can do is get a hooker to brap on us

>not telling her you have a mommy fetish so you combine the two and naturally progress into being breastfed while farting into your diaper
How do you people even get gfs?

I really need to learn to go out and find gf. Fuck this thread for reminding me of my loneliness.

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>HEALTH AND FITNESS

SAGE AND REPORTED

Include me in the screenshot

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Why is it disgusting if it's her doing the disgusting parts?
Never understood this kind of thinking, just like those girls who don't like getting oral because "it's dirty".

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what the fuck

Thread's over.

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excuse me but
WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAVE SO MANY DVDs?

jesus christ, just buy an External HDD and fill it with movies.
that looks like an allergy crisis waiting to happen
fucking dustballs everywhere
the fucking maintenance holyshit

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Roasted garlic does wonders. Caramelized onions on everything. Spicy vegetable soup with lots of habanero's. Broccoli with garlic sauce. Pickled eggs. Thick beer. Roasted garlic is best by far. Start off eating like 8 cloves see how that goes.

>that pic
Unironically true.
But I'm 6'2. Life is suffering

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i'll ask my bf to write a meal plan down for you because that cunt wakes up and farts for 10 straight seconds every morning. pretty sure he has bowel cancer

Imagine the smell

>Whom is to fart on who?
fixed it for you you fucking moron

>how do you like your negros?
>uh, friholes my dude

>tfw when did this sometimes to my ex by surprise "as a prank"
>tfw when she "got me back"
Actually it smelt horrible what was I thinking.

>tfw last gf had an ass like this
>sex was goddamn awful

I bet you fell for jelqing and mewing, too.

>inb4 dicklet

I agree user

nah, she was pretty big

This was years before the brapp meme friendo.

I, too, fell for this meme.

>when your gf asks you to choke her and call her mean names but you hate it and it makes you lose your boner sometimes
I just want a qt gf to love and have comfy sex with but now I'm strangling someone all the time

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Is there anything more of a turn off than watching someone of that size lumber around? Just that awkwardness of someone of such size trying to move a leg up and over me to get into another position jesus christ. A thin nimble girl whos transitions between positions isnt even noticed is 10/10

I despise that shit. I cant respect my partner when i spent the last hour making them blue and saying how much of a dirty cum slut she is. Nothing wrong with some vigorous sex with neckbiting or whatever but hard slaps and choking is just a no from me.

Also user consider; if you are where you are now, where will you be in 5yrs to get off? These fucking bitches who want me to shove it up their ass while i choke them until they pass out dont realise in a few years time i prob wont even be turned on by the sight of her body