Guys, I just had sex with my friends 55 year old mom
It felt like putting my dick into a really warm ziplock bag full of cream of wheat
Anyways
I can’t seem to wash the smell off and need help.
It smells like this pungent, slightly offensive odor, and it’s been like this for 2 weeks.
Is it an STD? She didn’t want me to use a condom and wanted me to cum inside her, she said she is post menopausal, has no diseases, and can’t get preggo
What do?
>really warm ziplock bag full of cream of wheat
Thanks for the kek.
If by some chance you are not completely joking, contact your local health dept and get tested.
>I just had sex
>it's been like this for two weeks
I think you're the problem not her
did you really fuck your mom bro???
How the fuck did that happen
No I swear to god my dick legit has no smell before I put it inside her
And I distinctly remember the odor when having sex with her
I think I have to shave my pubic hair because it’s like enchanted my hair with the smell or some shit
What was her body like
Hard to explain
In clothes she looks really good, shapely, looks kind of like a younger version of the mom from that 70s show
When the clothes came off things seemed only slightly saggy
She gave me this dry blow job, I’m not sure why her mouth was so dry.
Warm ziplock bag of cream of wheat is the best way to explain the sensation. I couldn’t feel the walls really?
It was moist, and sometimes the smell would escape from beneath the blankets and would break my concentration, but I was focused to get it done.
It took a solid 30 minutes though, face drenched in sweat cuz she just laid there
Where was your friend during all this?
He is in Florida atm.
He mailed his mom a shampoo vacuum and his mom texted me to ask if I can help put it together.
She then made me dinner and then wanted me to stay to watch a movie, then broke out the wine.
Post pics of her NOW
Damn you fucked your friend's mom that's harsh
And at no point did you hive a fuck about your friend and say you can't do this.
Bros before hoes man. Never let a bitch come between you and a friend. You're a let down to the entire male gender
I hope your friend butt fucks your dad
>It felt like putting my dick into a really warm ziplock bag full of cream of wheat
i almost puked reading that. wtf
Can you elaborate though? was it not good?
>"was it not good?"
Lmao what part of
>"It felt like putting my dick into a really warm ziplock bag full of cream of wheat"
Do you not understand?
I didn’t intend on the sex, I’m a victim
Face looks old as hell. Care to post a body pic.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT MY MOM???? JARED I SWEAR TO GOD IF THIS IS A PRANK ITS NOT FUNNY
Well it felt like warm dilute quicksand, but instead of sand, it is warm cream of wheat. But it was also like a reverse Chinese finger trap. There was less friction pumping out than there was pumping it back in
WHAT THE FUCK JOHN?
Absolutely based, how old are you OP? Also these virgins don't know shit. She has a yeast infection and now you have yeast growing on your dick too. I'm a virgin too BTW.
Kek
Don’t have any other pics of her unfortunately
Will over the counter foot fungus spray work on my penis?
Yeah go ahead and spray foot spray all over your dick
>Will over the counter foot fungus spray work on my penis?
I think so but if I were you, I'd ask the pharmacist first when you go to buy it
These fucking descriptions
I can not only imagine how her push feels, but I could legit warm up a bag of cream of wheat, put an inside out Chinese finger trap in there, and fuck the trap in the bag of cream of wheat to understand you bro.
I’m also gonna explain sex like this from now on
Go see a doctor, man
Josh why’d you smash my mom bro? What the fuck I let you borrow black ops last weekend and this how you treat me? Never ask to use my netflix again.
>tattoos
>piercings
>55
BwHAhAhAHaha
Does she have a husband?
>I'm gonna ask this friend of my son to come over and pop a bottle of wine, then I'll see if I still got it
Hope her stinky puss was worth it mate.
You gotta shave your dick and balls and then wash them in alcohol.
Oi fuck off nonce
You Brewed the last earl grey and munched all the biscuits in the biscuit bin.
Woke up in the morning next and saw the earl grey bag in the foookin bin mate, and me biscuit wrappers as well too.
She’s divorced
No its the same as getting sprayed by a skunk. You have to bathe in tomato juice. It's the only way.
This. Stop validating used up roasties well past their expiration date.
The smell thing happened to me before. I was too embarrassed to go to the doctor so I just washed my cock with antibacterial soap for a week or two, and it went away.
I recommend going to the doctor though.
This
You have to bathe in tomato juice every 6 hours for 2 weeks
Would of been better if she was married and her husband was away with her son. Much better, you are a bitch for doing this tho. She is old, ugly, tattooed up whore, who used you, yes she used you, you didn't want this to happen, but she did.
The bitch now has lots of confidence, doesn't she?
probably yeast infection. i had a similar thing happen when i banged some crusty thot a few times
Oi m8, where's ur speakin license? Ur nicked now sunshine
She probably doesn't tho. Pretty sure she just wanted to be desired, not the sex itself, and by OP's story we can tell she probably did not get that feeling.
Some chicks just have stanky pussies
Fix me up a fine mate, go on then
Box up then, lace your runners come on mate
You did good op, I’m proud
its bacteria
you some sort of septic spray like bleach dilute or some form of rubbing alcohol
dont actually use bleach on your dick, dilute the shit out of it before you put it on your dick
Fucking Egyptian sarcophagus curse
Those walls went undistrubed for decades, then you went inside.
Cursed with eternal stank pussy enchant for eternity.
Accept your fate desu
>She didn’t want me to use a condom and wanted me to cum inside her
>she said she is post menopausal, has no diseases, and can’t get preggo
lmao ngmi
>tfw +2 foot radius unholy AOE passive stank
>sneak skill is now obsolete
>that one demi dean scene that is always titled something like "son assfucks mom"
holy fuck when i first found it i was like 16 with a serious mom fetish and i don't think i had ever cum so much before or since
ITS YEAST INFECTION.
Theres creams for that. Go to a doctor.
>ngmi
?`?
wash with lemon juice.
That’s the point. OP shouldn’t have validated her and rewarded her poor decisions.
mfw
This guy fucks
Another thing that will work is the stuff they sell over the counter for lady yeast infections.
>tattoos
>piercings
Oh man, who could've guessed she was a whore?
Fuckin kek, man.
Please do this immediately
The older they get...
>reverse image search
>0 results
never gonna make it
What's your girth?
Fucking kek, put me in the screencap.
You get what you deserve OP. Smelly dick motherfucker.
Kek
I was about to hook up with some freaky fit looking 51 yo from tinder but decided at the last minute that she’s probably too crazy. She wanted to peg me and I said NO.
Cmon dude I'm trying to eat here
T. 55 year old virgin jelly because a young adult has had more sex than him