/SIG/ - Self Improvement General

they say coffee can interfere with your circadian rythm so I'm trying to delay my morning cuppa until slightly before or after lunch
and goddamn I am fucking destroyed without it, not that I mind drinking it every day to function

Honestly I fixed my back and I can now start lifting again. I have started taking it super seriously and If I keep on I hope to hit one plate after losing it all because of how bad the pinched nerves were.

I got super flexible and I learned that nobody stretches like they should. I just threw my head down and tried to fold myself in half at the injury and I could feel the scar tissue separate. I almost instantly felt no pain and I got the feeling in my skin back. My knee has sensation now and my calf is no longer partially paralyzed thanks to stretching, running and real deep muscle massage.

I may be in some of the worst shape of my life but I am pain free and lifting is actually easier and doesn't feel like getting stabbed.

Sounds like you took it too seriously. Life is a game we all play, on a stage we make ourselves. Learn to enjoy things, being completely rock solid stoic and "perfect" at life is not the point of self improvement, it's to help you be balanced, strong and flexible, not just in your body, mind and spirit, but in dealing with life circumstances. Going with the flow and getting to shore efficiently when you want to.

I always recommend some Alan Watts, in your case to loosen you up a bit, maybe this will help some

youtube.com/watch?v=RBAJpd-xia8
youtube.com/watch?v=KyNwH2yFOqU

wikihow.com/Go-With-the-Flow
wikihow.com/Loosen-Up
wikihow.com/Feel-Happier

Best of luck dude. We all gonna make it!

Not the same user, but what if "going with the flow" leads you away from what you want in life? That's a lot of what I'm going through right now.

Then you're not really going with the flow, you are being a doormat. The flow comes from you and your actions, at least partially.

fix your sleep user

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What if your actions are getting you nowhere?

planning on buying the bedjet v2 to help regulate temp better when sleeping, currently on sale as well will soon be able to sleep at 20c year round

Then you aren't doing the right actions to get you towards your goals.

What if the actions you would have to take would directly interfere with your happiness?

does anybody have the rollin chart with shit like cleaning room / wiritng book / reading book / clean up desktop / coook something ... ?

i lost it thanks

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I think your on the spectrum.

Would you recommend a futon?

if you live somewhere with mild winters, sure
if you live up north like me, you'll want a bed

I am going with "the flow". My routine at this point is completely natural. The flow of my life is the routine I have, and nothing other ever happens. How am I supposed to expect results if I don't give it my all?

I used to go to a psychologist and browsed /v/ and Jow Forums at the time, so I actually suspected being on the spectrum - good thing I'm not.
Also I don't have any of the symptoms except the "repetitive behavior" one, but I've done that to myself, I used to party all the time, fail at school, eat super unhealthy and be very chaotic. When I hit rock bottom, I worked until I could move out and began living like this.

There's usually some compromises in life. If you really want something you have to work hard and practice for it. That's just how it is. If your happiness problem isn't effort or work ethic related, idk, maybe those aren't actually the goals you want, and if they are, you'll have to sacrifice some happiness to get them. That being said, happiness isn't the end all be all. Just live your life, and appreciate how it is and what you make it.

if you are living on your own you probably spend most of free time alone, one thing that could help you give a sense or some sort of meaning of life for a lack of a better word, would be finding a partner, a girl who you could share your feelings with freely, plan your future and so on.

that's how i felt when i was with my ex, i had it all planned out in my head, everything was about getting one goal after the other, move in with her, marry, have kids etc... now that we broke up i don't really know where i'm headed

I live in my car, how can I still lift and eat 2700 cal if I don't have a kitchen

Sorry, I know you are trying to give good advice, but all I have had is sacrifice with nothing to show for it in return and all anyone tells me is that I need to sacrifice more. I appreciate you trying, but I've at this point accepted that I will never be truly happy.

Alright, I'm doing pretty well so far. I picked up lifting and it's starting to show. I improved my social life massively and barely spend anytime on things I consider 'non-future-oriented'. My only problem is dating.

It's not that girls aren't interested, but that I'm completely unable to flirt. For God's sake, last weekend I sat at dinner with a few people I met and one of the girls called me hot in a personal convo, and I just completely ignored it. I can't for the life of me figure out how to respond.
And that's for girls I should/do know are into me. Let alone a girl I'm interested in and want to test out more. I don't even ask to go for a coffee because it'd be obvious why I ask her and I don't want her to feel pressured into going out with me.
People always say 'just playfully compliment her', but I don't even know how to do that. If I compliment someone on their clothes or whatever, it sure as heck doesn't sound flirty.

You're right. That's impossible for me to do now though, I'm still learning the local language.

Method in learning French? Also a goal of mine. Two months in and although I know some it just feels like it isn't sticking with me

I’m trying so hard to improve. But it seems when I improve one thing, another thing falls apart. I want to get better, but sometimes it feels impossible.

I honestly feel like I’m going to be fat forever. My parents are fat. My dad had tried to lose weight when he was my age and failed. I’ve only lost a bit and I’ve gained it back. They keep pushing food on me, despite telling them numerous times that I’m trying to lose weight. They simply don’t care. Same with my brother who is skinner and did go through a weight loss journey. He does the same shit, he keeps doing shit he wants to do, knowing I won’t say no. I can’t. Never been able to.

So I’m going to be fat forever. And so I’ll be alone forever. No one likes fat people. I wouldn’t date a fat girl. I wouldn’t put up with it. So why would someone date a fat guy? I’m not good enough for them, and I wouldn’t want to subject them to me.

I’m not going to make it. Not everyone does. I’ve met those who don’t and never will.

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Any recommendations on mindset changing books?

Move out faggot.

Mix it up then. Variety is the spice of life. It still seems you could learn some things if you listened to/read those links I gave you.

Do you enjoy the things you do? Or at least appreciate them for what they are?

Another thing to consider is that you may be trying to juggle to many "difficult habits" at once and its overloading you and your schedule. Humans aren't supposed to work 24/7, we have productivity cycles and need rest, both sleep and relaxation.

You need to learn about the Buddhist idea of acceptance. Look it up.

Can’t. It’s too expensive around here and I’m still going to college. I’ve got like another2 years to go

Boss called me in at the end of my shift today, got fired. Well against my current run of luck though, I reckon I came out alright. Got 8k euros worth of savings in the bank, some experience in the field. Over the last 2 years I went from a fat loser neckbeard, to a reasonably fit loser boiling over with hatred, to succesful competitor in grappling heading to MMA stoic loser.

> Keep trying to become a normie, cash in some of that white privilege to get a job of equal pay and position I used to have under my dad.
> Fuck the normie life, become an edgy marine.

Tbh the last month ruined me. I used to be so certain I wanted to become a marine. But I actually ascended above my autism, and went out with my team mates. I'm still a 20yo virgin retard, but I had fun. Maybe just begin again, really go for it this time and continue on the path towards becoming a regular person. Some of my training partners and family members have actually complimented the person I've become, a wiser and more socially capable man.

What did you get fired for? And what are your martial arts in MMA?

Approached a qt French girl with glasses at the bar this weekend. We ended up talking for a while. Didn't lead anywhere but atleast I made a move and she didn't directly reject me but on the opposite, seemed to enjoy it. Got a confidence boost and ended up talking with some other girls together with my friend and even maked out a bit with a very drunk girl. First time I approached a girl.

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Triggers by Martin Goldsmith.
Unlucky name, but it's been around before that word became a trend and doesn't refer to it. It's short, practical and written by a dude who verifiably knows what he's talking about. He's a personality coach for a lot of CEOs.

Everyone is redeemable. Even you. I struggle with the same problems. You've got realize living in a semi-post-scarcity society pocket most people deal with weight issues most of their lives. I do too. You won't be fat forever, maybe someday you will stop eating so much and be fine with eating less. Nobody can make you eat food you don't want to, move out.

This. I'm good at most things I do, but I can't get my head around even small compliments. They always feels somehow inappropriate or I can't even come up with some.
Oh God, all the opportunities I let pass because I was a sperg really sting.

Just don't do it and take the heat. Make your own meals. If you're eating with them, serve your own portions.
Fight for your freedom. That's what i did. If you are dedicated to fat loss, you will achieve it!
Also, why is everyone K posting on Jow Forums?

> why?
I couldn't keep up. I ruined my reputation early in my 8 months career by being a big retard, completely neglecting my job related training. Actually got the hang of it towards the end, but it was too late, I was already doomed. I figure with my newly gained experience, I'll do well wherever I'll start off.

> martial arts?
Combined BJJ and wrestling for my base, developed a weird Vagner Rocha / Catch Wrestling style. Do kickboxing for my striking, but honestly I'm just a pressure heavy moving forward with sloppy boxing until I get people down kinda guy.

I've had all things Buddhist shoved down my throat the last couple of years. I don't agree with them.

Recommended audiobooks?
I have a credit that expires tomorrow.

Sorry to hear that man, you need to make sure the managers are seeing what they want to see, image and perception is everything. As for your training, how long have you been training? How old? I have been training in boxing myself for a few months and am looking to compete in MMA someday

I've officially lost 80 pounds since the beginning of the summer.

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"How to deal with credit expiration" by Cred McCardson

Mostly just Assimil and doing Duolingo during breaks at work. I live in Canada so I will pop on the French radio station on longish drives and try and pick out words as I listen.

Check out the Jow Forums wiki, it's full of resources: 4chanint.wikia.com/wiki/French

You are a garbage man. A man composed entirely of garbage.

This sounds interesting.

Regardless, you still need to accept your life as it is before you can work on it to make it better.

>We're into December, do you have any goals you want to achieve until the year ends?
I'm not really sure. I hope to carry on working and continue cardio + chin/pull ups. I don't have a set goal for the end of the year since it's been such a nightmare getting here lol.
>Have you done anything you're proud of, lately, or even this year?
This year I managed to get a full-time job that pays $60k and I work from home, so pretty ideal. I managed to lose a shitload of weight and finally sort out a lot of my psychological issues. I'm still working on my anxiety but I hope to resolve that soon. My gf has been supportive with it since I explained it to her.
>There are many bumps in the road, big and small, how did you soldier on through them?
Dealing with one problem at a time. I've dealt with so fucking many problems in the past year, and each of them were dealt with by planning with confidence and following through with confidence.
>Which people are supporting you, and which people in your life are you grateful for?
My mother and my gf have been good at supporting me in very different ways. Neither have been perfect of course, but I haven't been perfect returning the favour either. I hope to be a much better son and boyfriend next year.

I started casually training BJJ at 17 as the most unathletic piece of shit you can imagine, I was way overweight and hadn't done a sport in years. Lost a lot of weight and became obsessed for a little while. Trained every day and started competing in grappling, medalled at every competition I've ever done. I'm 20 now, and my coach was actually the one to suggest the transition to MMA.

If you wanna compete in MMA, start grappling immediately and get comfortable wrestling. I've sparred with boxers who'll completely light me up on the feet for half a minute but can't defend the takedown worth their life and just lay at my mercy for the rest of the round. Boxing is a good base though, if you're not 40 you're not too old. There are plenty of men who are way my senior and started way later in life but still beat the shit outta me.

If I accept my life as it is, then I would have no reason to change get anything.

Both my doctor and psychiatrist recommend I take a stimulant to help concentrate and do better at things like reading. I'm wary of taking it but at the same time I've failed school 3 times now and could use help. I want to think I just need to work harder or study better. Would appreciate some unbiased anonymous opinions on my situation

Thanks for the link. Currently using Glossika and Anki with decks that have been shared. Slowly making progress but I think it could be better. Not sure there is value for money with Glossika however, it kind of forces me to use for its price

Last night I got hit by car and went to the hospital. When I got released at 12am I layed down in my bed and wondred why life hated me so much. My 21 years on earth have been filled with nothing but misery. My internal light has burned out, I didn't even feel upset that I almost died I just felt indifferent to it all.

But I don't want to feel indifferent, I want to feel the richness that life has to offer. How do I make luck/spirtuality gains, how do I turn my husk of a human being self into somebody that's not only lovable but admired. I'm not asking to be king of the world, I just want life to be worth living. I asked a girl out and she said yes but she still feels distant, my job sucks but I can support myself and then some, I lift and have a good amount of friends, all that but I still feel broken.

How do I improve the core of my being, how do I find the root of my problems?

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low dosing adderall could be a huge boost to your productivity. They'll probably put you on 15mg or 30mg but 10mg would be best. Could you give me some insight on your symptoms? I've been trying to get my doc to referral me to a psych so I could get stimulants but they he just keeps tossing anxiety medication at me.

I have an autism diagnosis and have been seeing the doc for years now. Concentration was always an issue I brought up with her. I got some good anti anxiety meds now but the issue is still there so we discussed those meds the last few times. I'm worried of addiction and she said they could make me more anxious too

lol user was you

I feel this so much. I let so many opportunities pass because I wasn't able to respond

>Flashback to that time where a girl literally told me I was her type, she was bi and asked me to hug her and I didn't make a move.

You know it,

My overall year was good I won't lie, but being hit by a car fucking sucks and the issues I need to resolve to become a better person are still there. I want to grow in 2019

I know a few people who suffer from adhd and anxiety. One of whom I was having a discussion about it possibly being counter intuitive. She ended up finding a good combo that worked for her, it wasn't adderall though and I don't recall the SSRI she was using either. I imagine if you work on finding the right dosages and meds it could be a huge boon for your life user. I personally used a friends 15mg of adderall for my undiagnosed inattentive adhd and it's life changing. I only wish I could get a doc to diagnose me so I could officially get a script but its hard for adults with ADHD. I would definitely recommend trying it out and seeing how you're worrying about addiction ahead of time is a good indicator that you will try your best to be responsible with it. Give it a try user!

Brother Thread: We should help make places like these a reality.

No, because I accepted my life for what it was and still decided to change it for the better. I just had a better perspective on my actual situation so I was able to make better decisions. That's what acceptance brings you, not "I will just let the world walk all over me". It means being aware of your situation, but not angry or upset at it. Calm, cool, and collected.

So I've been skinny fat my whole life

Focused on my career, and many of my jobs have been fairly active with a lot of walking and general lifting. Nothing that would get me ripped but enough to keep the fat off.

Well now I have an office job where I sit at a computer all day and I can feel myself slowly getting fat.

I've never really been to a gym but I want to make it a habbit so I'll be going every day for as long as I need to to make it a habbit.

My only issue is.

How can I tell a good gym from a bad gym?

How important is it to pick a good gym?

If I go to Planet Fitness cuz it's the cheapest is around is that bad? lol

Sorry, I guess I just work differently.

>How can I tell a good gym from a bad gym?
It has free weights, at least one cable machine, and 2 squat/power racks (Smith machines don't count). If you have your test training and everything's taken it's not a good sign.
>How important is it to pick a good gym?
You gotta have your plates, bars and cables. Everything else is bonus. So it isn't that important.
>lol
Lost cause.

My tip is go to the gym closest to you.

If you want to change your life for the better, all you have to do is change your perspective. Optimism helps.

>2019 resolutions
Eat 90% clean 10% dirty and always heed caloric goals
Lift and run twice a week. Practice mma 3 days a week
Win a fee ameture matches
Nofap day 360 nazi rally.png
Lose every ounch of bashfulness
Heed moral compass and becomes friends and servant of the Almighty.

Logan. Theres still time.

Not really. Optimism just causes the people in my family to bury their heads in the sand and ignore any problems rather than doing anything to make things better for themselves.

There's a difference between optimism and blind hope.
In optimism you try to change something in the belief it works.
With blind hope you think things will just work out, so you don't need to change something.

Holy shit, are u me? But really you should buy a fluoride water filter. I’ve been using one for a year now and it’s great. I think you, like most men, are missing adversity from their lives. If there is nothing to struggle against, no enemy to conquer, no great obstacle to overcome, what is the point to self improvement? I think we would have been better suited in older times, when men would go out and fight and conquer other lands and tribes, forming bonds of brotherhood in battle. I look at all the stuff I’m doing to improve myself as preparation for the second civil war, but that’s just me. Maybe you should find something challenge yourself with?

So, I'm supposed to accept that this world is a shitty, awful place and do acts that feed the worst elements of humanity because everyone thinks that the primary way of things being done is inherently the right way. Sorry, I rather be miserable and stay a decent person.

(I'm not the guy you were talking to before btw)
No one is asking you to change the world. Even if your only goal is to be happy and fuck the rest, optimism is still for you. To me it means believing that your work will pay off. I found that believing in my acts turning out well increases the chance of them actually succeeding. Worst case: You remain equally productive/happy. Best case: overestimating how you're going to change things for the better makes you actually change them better.

I followed your advice and went to closet gym to me. It was full of what looked like illegal mexican immigrants. I got a membership and I'm hoping they'll accept a nerdy white guy as one of their own and teach me how to lift. Just did cardio and a couple free weights this time, but tomorrow I'll have an actual planned set.

Thanks guys!

lol

So I have to work a 40+ hour a week job for the next 30+ years, ignoring what will actually be me making things better, treating money like it has any value whatsoever, and contributing to the world's corruption, all while telling myself I'm a good person and deserve to be happy? Sorry, but I have higher standards than that.

If you can't afford to eat out at healthy places (which it souds like you might not be able to), camping mess gear would probably be the way to go. Camping stove, cutting board, utensils, plate, bowl, small pot and pan. You can likely find a good deal on used mess gear, hit up local pawn shops, thrift shops, boy scout troops, etc.

out of curiousity what would be considered a healthy place to eat out?

So you're filling your time with self-improvement, but why?

What are you improving for?
>What is your ambition

Find a goal for these improvements. Are you becoming more fit to join the military? Be a better employee/employer? Wanting to use your potential to find the optimal mate / partner?

Skipped my after-work gym session today so that I could spend three hours writing Christmas letters to my brother and my best friend from a previous job in another state. Definitely worth it, I enjoy having these people in my life, but it's exhausting putting a ton of effort into otherwise simple letters (was at least 5+ pages single-spaced).

Don't forget to make time for the people that are important to you, /sig/. Hug your mom, send cards to your grandparents, etc. Improving yourself typically also involves improving the lives of those around you.

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HOW DO I QUIT THE PORN JEW
even after 2 weeks of nofap I still find some way to fukc itup aaaaaaaaaaa

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Ever since I started my new 9-5 job I just can’t find the energy to lift after work. I know it sounds pathetic, but I’m a huge introvert and after being in a fast paced office all day, I feel so dead. It sucks because lifting was the only thing that made me happy. What should I do?

Download the app called 100 push ups

I have made more progress in the last 7 months than I have in the past 7 years.
I have been walking around the local park every day.
Weightlifting everyday.
Gave up on sugar, now have fruit for dessert.
No porn, no fapping.
Got tired of video games. Been reading and writing more.
Got rid of a lot of stuff.
Trying to improve my life for myself and to be a good role model for my baby nephew.
I don't want to be known as the fat uncle.

Finding work is extremely frustrating though. I have been sitting on my ass for 7 years, playing video games. Had a few interviews lately that were fairly humiliating.
One manager said my resume was pathetic.
Hmm you don't say...

Looking at local college courses most of which are over priced training for entry level jobs.
Thinking of going into military or reserves. Mainly because 4 years of paid hands-on training in military verses 4 or more years at college/university having to pay them.

I think about giving up and going on welfare.
I then remember my grandma's last words to me "stop running away."

We're into December, do you have any goals you want to achieve until the year ends?
Get back into a productive, self-motivated schedule. Also, apply for some scholarships

>Have you done anything you're proud of, lately, or even this year?
Started setting daily goals and am achieving what I set out to almost every day

>There are many bumps in the road, big and small, how did you soldier on through them?
If I make a slip, I just try not to repeat it; if I make a mess, I try to resolve it and learn from it; if I make a string of errors, I confront myself about it and think through how to correct them

>Which people are supporting you, and which people in your life are you grateful for?
Some close friends are motivating me to work out and lift a lot more than I had previously and family's doing just as much as they always have

Learn to make money off something you enjoy
>t. Landscape architect

I don't want to shit up the stuff I care about by making them something I have to do.

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How the fuck do I have a consistent voice?

>got a gym membership this year
>could never stick to a set routine
>trips to the gym are intermittent as fuck
>end of year
>zero progress
>fucking hate myself
How the fuck do I turn this around? I'm tired of drifting through life like a goddamn useless sack of shit.

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Start transitioning, pussy

I’m going to be staying at my grandpa’s ranch in the middle of nowhere U.S.A. until New Year, there is no gym and the only real weight lifting I have access to are old 25 and 40 pound dumbbells as well as the shit I’ll be carrying around such as hay bales. How to I preserve my gains as much as possible?

anyone have the infograph about goal setting?The one with Primary Secondary and Tertiary goals

this one?

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posting some more images i saved from other /sig/ threads

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