What would Jow Forums do in this situation?

>pulling a concealed carry from a seated position at a table before the other guy can put you down
Yeah ok, clint

>stand up
>not teleporting behind him
Heh, rookie mistake, kid.

Any fitizen worth his salt could heem this faggot into oblivion

>Hey buddy, this is a girl! I'm sitting across from a girl, whom I'm going to have sex with later! Meanwhile you're in here trying to impress your lowlife friends threatening to reenact all of your daddy issues on random people. How's everything at home lately? You miss your dad? You're gonna be seeing him soon. I promise you'll remember this one.

Yeah, I’m not buying it. If you were going to gut me like a fish, you’d be holding the knife around my asshole, not my throat. I’d call your bluff right there with a “baaaaaaka~”, then when you went “m-masaka!”, I’d do a lightning fast maegeri uke ipponme and you’d be down like your mom at a frat party.

>tell him he's a little shit
>he hits me
>I defend myself, i tell the cashier to call the cops
>because i have a real job I can afford a lawyer
>i'll see you in court, kiddo

>implying I don't immediately go for the handle as soon as the kid approaches me.

>tell the cashier to call the cops
Yeah nah, if the others come at you, you’re dead.
Watch any video of fatal group fights, the lone guy is always dead within 5 seconds. They don’t even have to try to kill you, it just happens when you have 5 guys attacking one.

The only answer that matters is: This would never happen to me.

If you're a grown man and a high school or college aged kid feels comfortable enough to flex on you like that, you're about 30 kinds of fucked up. I'm not pretending to be a bad ass or anything, but as I approach 30, there's damn few people who try and test me like that and they're all arrogant women. It's a vibe, plain and simple.

What does it have to do with daddy issues? Men like to bully others because of high testosterone. Not that you could understand.

I just realised no one gave me any shit since I was 20, and that guy was some manlet acting tough in front of girls, not letting me go down some stairs. I pushed that guy down the stairs.

Oh and another thing, if you want people to respect you, try treating others with respect first. I lived in a lot of apartments in my younger years, and every time I politely asked someone to keep it down, they honored my request. People usually don't want to be dicks, but they'll happily do so if you don't come correct.

Wrong. People only respect you if you’re juicy.

This is Jow Forums, if you're not taking care of your body, then what are you doing here?

I’d take my shirt off and start rubbing my nipples telling him to go on about how he would beat me up while moaning. Lets see his response to that. Go ahead and ask me how I’d deal with being surrounded by a group about to jump me.

i'm sure 5 low t white kids and beaners are real threatening

Complaining about fat people

Oh you wanna talk about 5? Easy. So they surround me right? I’d strip naked and since I’d already be nervous, I’d take a hefty loose shit into my hand and then start stroking myself with the other, holding the handful of shit cocked back ready to throw. Who would fuck with me then? Honestly the only downside is if I’m shot and killed cause then the detective would be so confused since they’d find me with shit in my hand and a boner. That’s why I keep a letter in my pocket that explains the whole scene. “Dear Cop, I know this seems confusing since I’m lying here with shit in my hand and an erection completely naked, but believe me when I say it was the only logical thing to do. I was about to get jumped (presumably by niggers lol) and this I deduced was the best method of self defense. The only chink in the armor was if they had a gun, so that explains the bullet holes in my body. Please don’t tell my dad. - Love user”

Well the kid gives his name and is wearing a school jacket, it would be easy to track him down. Tell him that if he tries anything that I know exactly who he is and can find out where he lives etc. Tell him that if he hits me that I will sue him and his family for everything they are worth,and implicate that I can do much worse than sue him with this kind of information.Tell him that unless he's willing to take my life right here, it's a lose-lose for him if he assaults me.

getting naked would be way easier

Based and redpilled.

I mean if I wanted to go with the route of humiliating myself I could just simply do what Louis did.

I have a heavy russian accent. He'd never dare to. And if he did, I've got skills.

why would it be humiliating? Don’t you have a massive schlong to flaunt?

I know you're shit posting, but what would getting naked accomplish? They would still assault you.

...

hey babe, you want to get out of here? It'll be quiet in the back of my van

Honestly?

Sucker punch him.
Break a knee.

First of all i would never be in a such situation. 2nd of all i would forcibly remove this red jacket dyel.

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>stand up
>sees my 6'5 frame tower over his 5'6 body
>kid switches his vibe and tries to talk it out with me
>go back to the date with my qt who is now turned on by how I stood my ground

>not using your gorilla grip strength to destroy every bone in his hand first thing

I've had many scenarios run through my head but this one seems like the only plausible one for me. I could take on a short "bully" highschool guy but I sure as shit couldn't take on more than one at a time.

Probably this, I have done BJJ for a year so I have a pretty decent chance of choking him out and fucking him til' he loves me, faggot.

buiful

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Not be a douche and yell at people for having fun in the first place

In Italy we have a Cliché who runs along the line of "the dog who barks, doesn't bite".

If someone goes right to your face like that, he is just trying to be an alpha, nothing that some words can't take care of

Pussy ass bitch

Stay silent and stare at him until he gets uncomfortable
Of course you need to have the right face for it, and if you show any signs of fear you will just look like you are shitting yourself and it won't work

put my gun on the table

10/10

>kids are white
immersion broken
plus louis ck is a litreral cuck who looks like the typical soilent.

based

If the aggressor's intentions are made as clear as they are in the video, the appropriate response is an ultimatum. You get right to it.

"Fuck off quick or I hit you." And then you make damned sure you follow through.

He takes it because he's young with fast reflexes
nice one, faggot

grab the knife at the table and jam it into his throat when the threat is spoken.
after that puncture dude 1 is out, but the team of fucks might react so you'd have to jump the counter and run out of the back
In the back they probably have more effective knives, and more than likely the entire crew won't follow you so you can get an easy gut stab to the first guy around a corner then deal with the next one that tries to tackle you in the same fashion.
Dry off the knife handle or wrap it in cloth so it doesn't slide
Bounce out of the back, the cashier might have a gun or something. You're risking the girl being beaten to death, but it's better than you dying, also she's ugly so meh.
Run around to the front and scope the situation from there, conceal the blade. Some highschoolers have knives so be careful.
If the girl is fine she'll have gotten out of there, so just call her and meet up.
If she's being beaten and raped just murder the dudes then pay for your meal.

I've apologized to drunk kids with glasses half my size before. Seriously guys, when you reach a certain age and have a job, you just can't have fights.

One fight and my career is fucking over, and it's not even a thing of being beta, it's just, is it really worth defending your ego in a 5 minute altercation and then paying the consequences forever (either losing your source of income or possibly getting stabbed / beat to death by a group).

What I'm trying to say is that anyone young reading this, just stay away from these situations as much as you can, limit how much you drink when you're around other drunk people, and only defend yourself with violence when it's REALLY inevitable

youtu.be/uAAqi0UtJtc

I would just not say anything, tilt my head down, and look him in the eye until he has to come up with a response.

this guy is right. Don't get into fights if you want to have a future, a lot of companies do background checks these days.

the key to this situation every time is just to make eye contact and not break it no matter what. 90% of the time if you just hold eye contact, the guy will back down without getting violent. It's hard as fuck irl though. You have to practice calming your heart rate.

youtube.com/watch?v=x3xZOA_3Bk4

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admit that no matter what i do physically he'll kick my ass and then tell him the only way he wouldn't get sued and go to prison/juvie is if he kills me almost immediately and somehow manages to not kill any witness, implying that he'd have to kill my date too and that he probably doesn't have the balls to do this not to mention he'd get caught by the nypd eventually

>People saying the friends would join in

If my friend was the one who started a fight, the only thing I'm going to do is laugh if the other guys fucks him up. I'd only jump in if the other guy was the aggressor. Teaming up on a dude makes you a pussy.

I actually carry a handgun whenever I go somewhere (my city is a shithole), so last thing I want is to escalate the problem.
I would’ve told him to leave us alone, and if he didn’t stop I’d warn him that I’m carrying a handgun and have my date call 9/11. At that point it’s up to him, but I’d just try to stall.

>I’d warn him that I’m carrying a handgun
That's called a "Threat" and a good way to get put in the slammer

>Slap random people with pizza
>Get shocked that he caves your shit in later
>Act like a victim

Honestly the sucker punch was a bit much but that guy deserved it

That’s a fucking retarded saying.

“The lion who snarls, doesn’t bi- oh god he’s got my arm oh god please send help oh god oh fuck I can feel the muscle tearing please kill me oh god”

>Man approaches you and threatens to kick the shit out of you while surrounded by a group of loud aggressive individuals
>Guy continues his aggressions and won’t leave you alone
>Notify him that you are armed and that a fistfight is not going to happen

>You’re the one going to jail

I’m assuming you’re not in the legal system.

If I was Louis CK I'd ask the kid if beating up an out of shape standup comic in his late forties would impress his friends.
If he answered yes I'd say go ahead, at least one of us will benefit from my existence.
"I'll even piss myself during the beatdown and beg so score extra clout with your homies."
If he proceeds to beat my ass fulfil my end of the plan and then go home satisfied that I made someone's night a little better, which is better than I usually do.
Then it's fast but shameful masturbation and into bed, where I'll consider suicide until I drift off to blessed sleep.

>guy tries to get girl back to his place after her friend knocked the shit out of his friend
>she goes and fucks the dude who kicked his friends ass

my god lmao what a couple of jackasses, what was he expecting was gonna happen after slapping a dude in the face with pizza?

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>Man approaches you and threatens to kick the shit out of you while surrounded by a group of loud aggressive individuals
>Guy continues his aggressions and won’t leave you alone
>Notify him that you are armed and that a fistfight is not going to happen
>Guy calls 911
>"Yeah there is a guy here he just threatened to shoot me with a handgun"
>Police arrive, guns drawn
>If you're lucky they don't magdump on you
>"GET ON THE GROUND MOTHERFUCKER"
>Slam your face in the concrete
>Put you in cuffs
>Take new your little toy away from you
>This whole time the guy and his buddies are laughing their asses off
>You try your best to damage control in the back of the police cruiser
>"B-but they were being m-mean! I had to say it to get them to stop making fun of me!"
>Officer big dick: "Well this guy and the rest of the witnesses said you threatened to kill him with your gun, and we found a gun on your person"
>Guy and his buddies all agree that they were do nothing wrong
>"N-no officer they were being mea-"
>"Tell it to the judge"
>Cruiser door slams
>Guy and his buddies walk away laughing
>Arrested and charged with making terroristic threats
>6 months in the pen + 1 year probation on a plea bargain
>Meanwhile, the guy and his buddies are gangbanging your wife 3x a week
>And she loves it
>Lose all your gains in jail
>Get raped by Jamal
>Lose job
>Just because you wanted to play the tuff guy

Good idea, retard.

I like how you switched around the continuity of what I said I would do just to make your rebuttal work.

Wait til he says something quietly enough only me and muh lady can hear and if she's a bottom bitch who got my back look shocked and say "OH MY GOD HE HAS A KNIFE", "HE SAID HE HAS A KNIFE", "CALL THE COPS".
Then watch him scuttle out with his friends.

what are you a cop lol

Probably apologise for being rude, but explain I was a bit frustrated because my friend couldn't hear me and they were making a lady's night worse.

If that doesn't work and he looks like he's looking for an excuse for it to escalate? Tell her to get up and go home, and I'll take care of the bill.

From then on it's probably going to be a shitstorm, ideally I'd somehow get the guy into a lock and either snap something bad enough that at least one of his friends has to call an ambulance, or toss him at them and make a run for it.

Me and the waifu have been in fights before if she’s on her game she gets him a headlock and I smash whatever I can as hard as I can. Best hope I don’t a finger or I’ll snap those.

i've been in a similar situation, I looked him right in the eyes and said "i'm not scared of you, this isn't a movie, if you hit me you go to jail for 2-5 years. if i'm badly hurt 5-10. there are cameras in here, and i'll bet this wouldn't be the first time you've pulled shit like this, so fuck off.

he grabbed me by the neck and pushed me against the wall
"really REALLY bad choice kid"
he pushed me away and walked off with his friends, i pressed charges and he was sent to jail for 2 years. literally every public building has cameras, don't be a retard

>shop owner not telling them to GTFO

unrealistic as fuck

Nobody wants to fight a naked guy. Especially not black guys, they run immediately

Haha, messed with wrong skinny guy, fuck you prick.

WANNA KNOW HOW I GOT THESE SCAHS

If you do this to anyone but a friend you should always be prepared for this to happen
What was he thinking?

You actually may have had a point if you didn't ruin it by inserting your Jow Forumstard cuckold fantasies

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