This year I got a shitload fitter and I feel so much better with life in general. Got myself a good ass job, loving gf, and relations with family drastically improved. I'm now fit, attractive (by my own standards at least), earning good money and feel worthy of my confidence.
The problem is that I have this everlasting sense of dread that follows me. It feels like everything is going to fall apart, I'm going to lose my job, have a stroke that leaves me paralysed, my gf will cuck and humiliate me publicly, all my closest family members will die, etc. Every day I wake up I feel it. The only time I don't feel it is when I'm indulging a vice, either when I'm having sex, drunk, eating, etc.
It hasn't ruined my life, but it is definitely impacting it. I don't try as hard in my job as I could because I'm scared it will fall apart and all my efforts have been for nothing. I don't be as good of a boyfriend as possible because I think that will come back to humiliate me even harder. I don't make as much of an effort with my workouts because I think I might have a stroke, etc.
This isn't an excuse to not try as hard, which some of you might initially think, as I know these thoughts are illogical and irrational. I should be doing those things and maximising my capacity because they're unlikely to happen, I get that. But I just can't seem to shake the feeling.
Have any of you guys felt anything like this and has anything helped it? I know I need to just take a leap of faith and stop being afraid of the worst case scenario, but the knowledge that it can always happen is debilitating to me. Any help much appreciated lads.
i have the same thing op and no advice yet other than do cardio so the endorphins drown it out for a while
Anthony Jones
Cardio definitely helps, but since I run in evenings it only really helps for 2-3 hours before I go to bed which is necessary for me to sleep. If I run in the mornings it means I can't fall asleep for ages.
Nathaniel Sanders
Sounds like you depressed nigga
Ryan Wood
It isn't depression, I was depressed for a couple of years when I was 17-18 and this is very different from it. I don't feel like I'm incapable of doing anything, I do however fear the worst possible outcome of anything that's worth anything to me.
Charles Anderson
>Have any of you guys felt anything like this and has anything helped it?
I know that feeling OP. I was born to a decently wealthy family, I have a nice girl, I own 2 companies and I'm about to buy my second house. I will inherit enough real estate so I would never have to work. But all that was handed to me, I didn't achieve it. I'm afraid that I will not be able to become the man my father is, and that all that I have will fade away. I dread the day when he will die, as I feel I'm not ready to continue his legacy. I'm not religious in any sense of the word. But every night, I unironically pray to God to thank him for everything I have and ask him to look out for my loved ones and myself. It helps me to calm down and I guess all it really is, is me telling myself that things will work out somehow. But it feels nice to direct this to some God for some reason. I did this ever since I was a kid so I guess it's also a habit. But it only helps a bit. I'm still sometimes smitten with that feeling of dread that leaves me paralyzed and hampers many of my attempts to achieve or be productive.
Carson Baker
I was religious when I was younger, I feel like that helped a lot. I struggle now to speak with God or any other higher power, however. I think I'll try praying and thanking him for what I have.
I fear losing everything every moment of the fucking day. I hate this feeling so much.
Evan Sanchez
I hope you find something or someone to help you. Maybe talk to a therapist? I've thought about it myself. Have you ever lost something? Maybe you dread what you have not yet experienced. This year, my gf left me and took our dog. For 2 years I raised that dog, spent every day with her and loved her more than anything, and that bitch just took her away. It felt like a huge loss, but now I know that life goes on and that she is happy and taken care of, so I was able to move on. I also realize that my feeling of dread stems from the fact that I had most things handed to me. I guess sometimes I feel like a fraud, and that I don't deserve to be in this position, and I dread being found out. I think I need to achieve something of my own to beat this feeling. Maybe you can find what you need to do to beat yours.
Cooper Hernandez
it means ur over the age of 18
Ian Diaz
It’s never too late to find Jesus user, until you die at least. God will unironically make your life better, but ONLY if you accept that Jesus died for your sins. That’s it, he’s YOUR personal savior. Be a good person, follow the Ten Commandments, things will be okay. You’ll be able to walk through life knowing no matter what happens in this mortal coil you’ll be fine in the end, so stop worrying and try to live your life and enjoy the beautiful gift you’ve been given
Mason Cox
Everything falls apart, man. Lose your attachment to the idea that anything is permanent, and trust in your inner strength to carry you no matter what. I've had it easier than some, harder than others, but I can proudly say I've lived through a lot of shit that's killed other people. My entire life has been uprooted and destroyed a half a dozen times, and every time, I've come back stronger for it.
You have that same strength in you, and when you fall, you'll come back stronger than you were before. All you have to do is believe in yourself. Not your job, not your muscles, not your girlfriend, not your family, just that little part of you in the pit of your stomach. The part of you that's been there since you first learned to walk and that you carry with you every day. Follow and trust that shit.
Or you can fucking implode by leaning on cheap dopamine hits and fulfill your own prophecy of failure. Your choice.
Charles Flores
The only way to make this feeling go away is to be confident that you’re going to be ok if shit hits the fan.
Ryder Garcia
I really appreciate this. Thank you lads.
William Rodriguez
Yeah i had that. Took a while but it passed. Itll probably come back. Maybe thinking the dread isnt a big deal will make it worse.
Also find christ bro
Cooper Mitchell
I have the same thing. For me, it results from trauma because of all the times I've had everything taken away from me in my life. I just assume that whenever everything is going too good, something extremely bad will happen, so I never allow myself to experience any pleasure.
The key for me has been to always make sure that I embrace confidence & contentedness rather than grandiosity and excitement. Because of my experiences of epic highs followed by brutal lows, I just can't handle highly positive, euphoric experiences, so instead I try to find contentedness in the quotidian. I allow myself to feel good for a little bit while reading a book on the bus on the way home after the gym, but I don't allow myself to get excited and feel "awesome". I find that cultivating quiet contentment and discpline leads to a feeling of security, and the more secure I feel, the more I am able to keep the dread down. Cardio helps too.
Henry Lee
if u keep thinking about it it will happen
Blake Cooper
I have the same problem user
Benjamin Jones
you have anxiety, see a therapist/psychiatrist, practice simple meditation and stay away from caffeine
>I guess sometimes I feel like a fraud, and that I don't deserve to be in this position, and I dread being found out. I think I need to achieve something of my own to beat this feeling. Maybe
What do you even mean by this?
Are your parents paying your bills or something for some house you live in that people think you pay for yourself independently? Did your parents buy you new high end car for you and pay for it? etc I dont get it.
I dont get it.
Luis Garcia
My grandfather founded a company and my father made it very successful. Not Google tier or anything, but definitely above average wealth. He also owns a bunch of real estate that are paid off by now. I have worked for that company ever since I started uni, and now that I'm close to graduating, I'm already on the board. He also helped me found another small company that I'm running myself. He 'sold' me a house for very cheap, but I don't earn rent until he's gone. Now I'm buying another house, this time for myself, but with family money and a loan I only got because of my dad's and his companies good relations with the banks and our families assets. My own business is only taking projects from my dad's company as well. Basically, I lead a rather successful life but only because my father works like a maniac and created a lot of wealth for his children. While I play a small part in this, I feel like none of it was actually earned by me or because of me. So without my father I'd be nothing. Just another neet on a peruvian guinea pig farming forum. I'm eternally greatful for what my father created for his children, and I'm humble irl and don't disclose any of this. When people ask what I do, I mostly tell them I'm a student, or that I'm doing freelance stuff on the side. I drive a small hyundai.
I obviously don't mind having all this and I do my best to follow in my fathers footsteps. But I feel like I need to achieve something of my own to be worthy of all this stuff. And I'm afraid that others might think I'm this great entrepreneur or got my shit together when it's my dad who's got my shit together.
In other words, I feel like someone who bought a high arena rating in Wow instead of earning it. Now I'm afraid to play because people might find out that I'm not actually that good.
Caleb Rodriguez
As someone with anxiety, you have anxiety. Seeing a doctor/therapist/psych will help.
Kevin Cook
Oh lol how i can relate hahaha. I feel that same shit everyday. For me its because of low self esteem. Because i am just intrinsically shit, and everyone is just playing a joke on me, and will take it all away and laugh at me. Mine is so bad i can barely drive, think someone will just smash me. Ironically in this shit town you almost get hit all the time by tweakers in stolen vehicles, yay for numbah one in car theft in the nation.
But i digress. Anyways, the way to deal with that is to accept it can and will happen, and you try and prepare for it. The worst part is my brain going overdrive thinking of the thousand ways life can fuck me if it wants to.
